“Need you. Inside,” I begged. It was a hoarse plea, and his response was muffled against me before his tongue shifted into overdrive. It mimicked the way his cock drove into my mouth—determined, relentless, insatiable—until I was coming into his mouth a second time.
He lifted me off his face and settled me on his chest, nuzzling my nose. “I think about doing that constantly,” Daniel said against my mouth. “I crave your taste, Vivian. It’s impossible for me to live without.” He proved that point day in and day out.
“I thought it was all of me,” I protested.
“It is. Don’t tell my Princess, but I’m completely addicted to every facet of her,” he whispered conspiratorially.
“She already knows,” I whispered back, kissing his smooth forehead.
“In that case, there’s no reason to hide it.” I nodded in agreement, stifling a smile. “Now let’s get to the important stuff. Do I want to keep your hands bound while I fuck you, or will you need that belt to bite down on when I make you scream?”
The memory made me flush with desire. It was an assault on every one of my senses. I’d always need him in that way, and I couldn’t bear the thought of him with anyone else. Couldn’t fathom why he would want another. We both knew it could never be that way with someone else. Realizing that, believing that like I believed the sun would rise the next morning, revived my determination and reminded me why I needed to fight for him. We belonged together. He knew it. I just had to make him remember.
15
Vivian
Eight Years Earlier
Bam. Bam. Bam.
Muriella and I both froze. In the frenzy of getting ready, I’d somehow forgotten he was coming. My nerves spiked and I took a deep breath, centering myself. Daniel wasn’t expecting Nervous Nelly, and that wasn’t me any damn way.
“It’s time,” she whispered and gave me a quick hug. “I’ll go wait back there.” She motioned toward the bathroom.
I grabbed her hand and dragged her across the living room. We’d become close so quickly that I behaved as if we’d been best friends all my life. The truth was I needed her. Making friends with the other interns at work was difficult since we all viewed one another as competitors, but a few weeks of friendship with Muriella had cured some of the loneliness.
The knock this time was more insistent, impatient even. I smiled and counted to twenty before I opened the door. Daniel looked irritated, his fist raised as if about to knock the door down. He was devastating, wearing jeans and a white oxford shirt, the sleeves rolled up, revealing a hint of his forearms. I stared at them, allowing my imagination to meander down the path of what the rest of those arms looked like, given the muscle in just the sneak peek.
Then I remembered myself, lifting my chin, daring him to say a word about me appreciating his body. A smile tugged the corner of his mouth up.
“You were two seconds away from me coming in to get you.” He flicked his chin at my feet. “Nice shoes.”
Goddamn he was sexy. He thought me wearing the ballet slippers was the green light to get me in bed, but he’d learn soon enough he was sorely mistaken.
“Thank you. I hope you’ve come up with something better to do than just stand here all day,” I said haughtily, though I figured we could make that entertaining enough if we wanted.
“If that’s your way of asking where we’re going, I’m not telling you, Princess.”
“That’s your name.” The prospect of doing this all day long excited me.
“Hmm. I believe I called you that first, so technically it’s yours.”
He was right, but I shrugged indifferently. “It suits you better.” I pointed with my head behind me. “Want to come in? M made coffee.”
His brow furrowed as he peered past me. His eyes softened. “Good morning, Muriella.”
“I brought your breakfast over here.” She grinned mischievously.
“You two are up to no good.” His steps faltered as he pushed his way into my apartment. At the look on his face, I wanted to die. He was stricken, a deep line creasing his forehead as he scrutinized my tiny space.
I squared my shoulders and leveled him with a look. “Want a muffin? M made them out of eggs instead of flour. And what else?”
“Lots of stuff he likes,” she said saucily as she moved toward the little space that constituted my kitchen.
He seemed to snap out of wherever he’d gone, his eyes sparkling when Muriella slapped at my hand as I bit off a chunk of the egg muffins before she could officially offer them to us.
I sagged against the counter as I chewed. “God, you’re spoiling me. So bad.”
Muriella made the sign of the cross over her chest and said something unintelligible toward the heavens.
“Taking the Lord’s name in vain really bothers you, doesn’t it?” She’d corrected me several times since we’d met, but I never thought much of it. “I’m sorry. I’ll try to be more cognizant.”
She looked at me over her shoulder and smiled. “Thank you.”
“What made you so religious?” I asked casually, genuinely curious about what drove people to their faith. Daniel tensed, and a look passed between them. “I grew up in the church, so I always believed in God. I prayed for a miracle, and He gave me one. I’m not a zealot, and I won’t be trying to convert you.”
“Believe it or not, I used to go to church before I went to college,” I said.
“You are welcome to come with me any time you’d like.”
“Sure,” I said, popping another bite of muffin in my mouth. “What was the miracle?”
Daniel’s expression turned wary, but M’s turned brave. She sent a reassuring smile in his direction. “Daniel.”
My brows rose. I looked over at him, and he was studying the cabinets above my head. “How?” This was personal for both of them. I didn’t want to push, but that one-word answer had my curiosity in overdrive.
She pressed her lips into a thin line as if considering how much she wanted to reveal. Daniel gripped the edge of the counter, refusing to look at us.
“When I was fourteen, my brother put me in a container on a cargo ship. I don’t know how many days I was in the darkness—”
“Twelve,” Daniel grated out. Muriella and I stared at him. He didn’t meet our eyes, but added, “I looked into it.”
She looked at him with love. “You never told me that.” He stared back without responding. “For twelve days I was in darkness. The time came when I’d eaten the last handful of nuts I had left. There was no more water. I didn’t know when or if would get out of there. I prayed for God to save me. It was either that or drive myself mad with fear.”
I had to sit down, but there was nowhere to go, so I let the counter prop me up. What little she’d described was unimaginable. A child. Alone. In the dark. Having to ration her food. My eyes stung, but when Muriella straightened her shoulders, I couldn’t let any tears fall. The last thing she wanted from me was pity.
“I still hear the sound of the door handle. The way it protested when someone tried to open it.”
“I had to do it. Vinny couldn’t manage,” Daniel said with a bitterness that made my skin prickle.
“Who’s Vinny?” I asked.
“No one you ever need to worry about.”
The finality in his tone had M and me looking at one another, but neither of us pushed.
“The light burned when it reached the back where I was. I tried to open my eyes, but it took me holding them open as the voices got closer before they would finally stay open on their own.” She closed her lids briefly as if she were still there.
I shot across the short distance between us and put an arm around her waist, resting my head on her shoulder. She hugged me back and put her cheek on the crown of my head.
“That man who was with you, he was talking loudly. I couldn’t understand anything. They kept coming closer. I’d backed up until there was nowhere else for me to go, but my foot got tangled in my bag and made a scraping noi
se.”
Muriella shuddered in my arms.
“I can’t imagine how terrified you were,” I said, scared for her even though it was a lifetime ago.
“Daniel had been quiet the whole time the other man spoke. He diverted his gaze toward me without drawing attention. When he saw me, I froze. I had no idea what he would do. But I noticed he purposely tried to keep that man from seeing me, and I knew. In that moment, I just knew.” Her voice cracked on the last part, and I blinked rapidly to keep from crying.
Daniel’s face was stoic, but he was staring at us now.
“What happened? How did you end up with him?” I asked.
Her cheek swelled against my head. “He and the man left. I didn’t move.” A strange sound escaped her. “That’s crazy, right? They both looked dangerous. I’d been around men like them all of my life. But I didn’t move a muscle.”
“I was only gone for four minutes.” I lifted a brow at Daniel. This was a long time ago, yet he knew the details of that day down to the minute. “I couldn’t believe she was still there.”
“Daniel came back, and it was like breathing for the first time.” That statement from any other woman would have had my claws coming out. But not this one. It was definitely about love, but not the romantic kind. This was life or death.
“We couldn’t communicate, but she understood when I offered my hand.”
“I must have smelled awful,” she said, a note of shame in her voice.
“We did okay, didn’t we?” The fondness in Daniel’s voice took me by surprise. His emotions were hardly ever at the surface, yet there was no mistaking he was as affected by Muriella coming into his life as she had been to find him.
“We did.” She squeezed me one more time and let go.
“Why were you in that shipping container anyway?” I asked.
“Not today,” Daniel said sharply.
“Not today,” M echoed more gently with a sad smile before she brightened. “You two should get on your way.”
Daniel took my hand, threading our fingers together. “Ready to do this?”
A flurry of excitement swirled in my stomach. I grinned at him. “Absolutely.”
16
Daniel
Present
Pulse pounding. Sweat-slicked skin. Air sucked in and forced out in clipped breaths.
I amped up the treadmill and pushed my feet to move faster. Mile six clicked off. I hardly blinked, focused on the mirror in front of me. On the man fighting his best to do the right thing and losing.
I punished my body with a rapid pace, yet it didn’t atone for my sins. Didn’t distract me from the shitshow that I’d let my life become.
My phone vibrated in it’s slot on the treadmill, and I automatically looked at it. Damn it. I had to answer.
I powered down the machine and slowed my pace along with it.
“Yes.” The word came out with all the vehemence of a curse.
“The aide. He’ll talk, but it has to be now. I’ve got him at Smith and Wollensky, but I don’t know how long I can keep him here.”
Barron Rutledge was the most connected lobbyist in Washington, and he was in my back pocket. Donato had introduced us fifteen years ago, and we had worked together often—rather nicely if I was honest. Barron got me in places I could never access on my own, and somehow he kept his nose clean. Discreet, swift, and intelligent—three traits I could work with.
“I’m on my way.” I hung up and wiped my face with a towel.
A US Senate seat battle was heating up, and the incumbent had enlisted my services to “dig up shit” on his opponent. He was behind in the polls, the election mere weeks away, and it seemed I’d pulled a rabbit out of a hat again in the nick of time.
I downed a bottle of water and tossed the towel in the hamper, my adrenaline pumping from the aggressive run. Annoyed I’d had to quit when I’d just gotten started, I flipped off the lights to my home gym and headed for the shower.
I’d barely shrugged on my jacket when my cell rang again. “Hello, Giselle,” I said as diplomatically as I could.
“Scott wants to know how many more times I have to go out with you.”
Fucking kids. It had only been one outing, yesterday. Did they have nothing else to do but worry me with this shit? “Tell Scott he can thank me personally because you’re speaking to him again.”
Damn if she didn’t repeat what I’d said to her estranged boyfriend, who was apparently at her side. There was a rustling on the other end of the line.
“Mr. Elliott?”
“Scott, I presume,” I said, all business, which inevitably made me sound annoyed. I was.
“Giselle told me the advice you gave her. Thank you. God, you have no idea what you’ve done for me,” he said, his voice filled with gratitude.
Actually, I knew exactly what I’d done if Giselle was the right girl for him. “I shouldn’t need to borrow her too many more times,” I assured him.
“It’s okay, but are you sure you want to keep doing this? Giselle told me about what happened last night, and—”
“I’ll be in touch.” I cut him off and hung up before the boy could second-guess what I was doing with my life. I’d already endured that from Giselle after Vivian’s exit. The rest of the evening had been spent trying to explain to her why I was doing what I was doing without actually getting into specifics. It was exhausting.
I grabbed my keys as I passed through the foyer on my way out. There was no other option but to tolerate Giselle and her boyfriend. At the moment, she was the best weapon in my arsenal when it came to Vivian.
* * *
A couple of hours later, I had a happy client, who by morning would be the only candidate left in the race. I didn’t even give a fuck. All I cared about, as I sat behind the desk in my study, was seeing where Vivian was at that moment. The blue dot appeared on my screen. She was at that shithole apartment.
I didn’t like it, not one fucking bit. But if I stormed in and demanded she leave, the jig was up. I tossed the phone on the desk. Opening the middle drawer, I was assaulted by another photograph of Vivian and me when I lifted a legal pad. Already today I’d found her lip gloss in my pants pocket. I couldn’t make myself remove it.
I started a scavenger hunt around my office, like a glutton for punishment. “Where else did you hide something for me, Princess?” I wondered aloud, opening and closing the drawers to my desk.
Triumph and pain shot through me at once when I discovered a refrigerator magnet in the shape of Spain. At one time, magnets had covered our fridge. We’d had to have it replaced, and magnets wouldn’t stick to the new one. I didn’t know what had happened to these things, but apparently Vivian did.
I traced the shape of the country, opening the gate to memory lane, then set the trinket on my desk and pressed on. I found another photo stashed between a couple of books on a shelf. This was Vivian’s way of yelling at me. Her way of telling me she wasn’t going anywhere.
I smiled. She knew this would get through to me louder than words, and she was right. Vivian wouldn’t let me forget her, no matter how I tried. What she didn’t know was I hadn’t put much effort into it. She was my strength when things were tough. And they would get worse. Much, much worse.
I opened the closet where I kept old files and flipped on the light. I scanned the stacks of boxes without any luck, but I saw an old tape player out of place on the floor, as if someone had recently used it. Underneath was a file folder that most definitely didn’t belong there.
I stooped to pick it up, nearly dropping it when I saw what was inside. I’d shoved this in a box of old cassettes the day Donato had given it to me, just to get it out of my sight. It had remained there until a few days ago when I’d forced myself to look at it. A cursory glance had been all I could stomach. I was sure I’d returned the folder to the box. Why it was here now sent a shiver of unease down my spine. The logical answer was Vivian, though she rarely rummaged through this closet. The way things had been g
oing, though, I couldn’t rule anything out.
My father had been dead nearly twenty-five years. All this time later, and it seemed I couldn’t escape it. But I needed to. Desperately. I was sick and tired of the man, and he refused to let me be. I didn’t need his goddamned medical reports any longer.
“Fuck you.”
Clutching the file, I crossed the room to the shredder, my shoulders relaxing as the reminder of him disappeared. Gone. Just like he was.
17
Vivian
Present
Alanis Morissette blared from my phone, “You Oughta Know” fueling my determination to sort out this mess my life had turned into. I needed this morning off to wade through the cobwebs, stop moping about instead of doing nothing.
As I settled into that old, ratty sofa—now covered with two clean quilts—I felt I’d finally made it to my war room, where I could plan with a clear head. It was as if I’d slipped on my last piece of armor and was truly ready to fight. It was time to take back what was mine by any means necessary.
“Hey, got a sec?” I asked when Muriella picked up the phone.
“Yeah. What’s up?”
“There’s a file folder at the bottom of the closet in Daniel’s study. It’s under a tape player. Could you bring it to me?”
“I thought you were going to leave it alone,” she said warily.
“Well, I can’t. I’ve tried, but something about it is bugging me.” I’d been up half the night, and I kept coming back to that fucking autopsy report. I needed a better look at it.
“All right, but I don’t like this. Some things are best left alone.”
“Unfortunately, I can’t seem to get that through my thick skull.”
“As long as you’re aware of that,” Muriella teased. “I’ll bring it to you at lunch. Shouldn’t be a problem to get. Daniel went out of town for a few days.”
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