by SM Olivier
He was one of the strongest guys I ever had to go against. He had to be high on Horatio’s payroll. It took everything in me to submit him to my will.
“It’s Jace,” Jaxson said quietly as he handed me my phone and wrapped my coat over my shoulders.
“Blake,” Jace said in a slightly clipped tone. “I asked you to please be careful. That’s Lorenzo Holt. He’s Horatio’s left-hand man. He’s insanely strong.”
I had to push back the urge to laugh. I knew it was an inappropriate response but I was still out of sorts. “Hopefully he makes it back to Horatio then,” I said bitterly.
“What did you do, Blake?” Remy barked out.
I realized then that I must be on speaker. “This needs to end,” I insisted. “I’m done fighting this man. I’m done letting this man drag all of the gifted into the mud.”
“Get back to the cabin, Blake,” Will said firmly. “We need a debriefing.”
I was shocked to hear his voice. I wondered if they had patched us through to the base.
I bristled. “I’ll go when my replacement gets here,” I insisted. “I’m not going to be left wondering if she comes in for her cup of coffee while no one is here waiting for her.”
“They’ll be there in twenty minutes,” Jace said before hanging up.
I looked up with Jaxson and leaned into him. “Guess I pissed them off again,” I sighed. “Our replacements will be here in twenty minutes.”
I felt another pair of arms embrace me from behind and felt their slight body shaking. “You did exactly what you needed to do,” Kade said, his voice quivered.
I turned and looked at him, surprised by the feelings of fear and pain coming from him.
“What’s wrong Kade?” I asked.
“Jr. pretended to be my sister. He made me believe she was alive and well. Horatio used him to deceive me for so long. If he’s with Joey and Moe, it can’t be good. They have no souls. They are like the sons Horatio never had. They’ll do anything and everything for him.” Kade was clearly fighting back the tears.
I hugged him. “No more. Together, all of us will take them down.” I said with determination.
I couldn’t believe the transformation that the techies’ cabin had gone through. Laptops covered the entire dining room table. Printers and other gadgets were neatly lined up on the bar. Their large television that nearly spanned an entire wall had wires attached to a computer tower.
The techies seemed opposed to light because all the windows had their curtains drawn. The only light coming in from outside was coming from the skylights above us.
“What happened?” Jace sighed as I walked into the house.
“Get Pops on the line,” Remy nudged Darren gently.
Darren almost flinched at Remy’s touch but he immediately began to click away on his laptop.
“Blake,” Pops said with heaviness in his voice.
I turned in surprise to see him, now in nearly full length, behind me on the television screen. Paul was standing slightly behind him. My reflection was on the left-hand side of the screen. I couldn’t resist the urge to walk closer to the screen as I tried to figure out where the camera was. I moved left than right before I realized that they had mounted a ‘webcam’ on the tall lamp to the right of the television.
Being around Jaxson must finally being wearing off on me. I felt like his spirit took ahold of me as I leaned into the camera and pretended to check my teeth. I hated feeling like a recalcitrant child. I was blessed with a powerful gift, powerful gifts even. From my past mistakes, I knew I had limitations, but I also knew to trust my instincts. I wasn’t arrogant enough to believe I still didn’t have a lot to learn, and I still needed their guidance but I shouldn’t have to clear everything with them when I felt something had to be done.
“Blake,” Will said with a weary sigh.
I heard Jaxson and Noah stifle a laugh and turned to see that Jace, Jaxson, Remy, Drake, Noah, and Troy had taken seats on the couch. Only Jaxson and Noah seemed to be amused by me, even though I’m pretty sure I saw Troy try to hide a smile. Their laughter only added more fuel to the fire as I imagined one of those vintage school desk with the desk and chair attached. I imagined myself in a dunce cap and wearing a catholic girl school uniform (although mine was the rated PG-13 version, not the rated G kind). I plopped myself down at the desk and folded my hands and blinked up at the television.
I heard several gasps around me as I started to explain to them what happened. “This morning, I noticed a man who you later identified as Lorenzo Holt, sitting at the same table he sat at yesterday, but today I noticed he was reading a book but hadn’t turned any pages. I tried to reach out to him, but I couldn’t feel him. He had a barrier against me, so I confronted him. They’ve been watching. They followed us from base. They are after Hazel and Miranda, too.” I recalled something that Lorenzo said as I leaned forward. “He called her Miranda Cornwall-Allen. Is my birth mother married?” No one spoke, although I knew someone, maybe all of them knew, the answer. “I’ll wait,” I produced a container of bubbles and began to blow into the wand. Tiny bubbles erupted from it, and I began to pop them with my pointer finger.
Jaxson and Noah erupted in laughter, and I’m pretty sure I heard more people joining them in nervous laughter. It wasn’t everyday that anyone would dare to challenge these two powerful men.
“Blake,” Will said again with warning, before he looked over my shoulder. “This is your doing, Jaxson James.”
“This is my doing,” I insisted. “So, when was I going to be told that my birth mother has a husband? Is that why she’s clean?”
Will sighed once more as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. “We just found out this morning that one of her aliases got married and may have a three-year-old child.”
I felt like someone physically hit me. The air left my lungs. It sucked knowing that someone that never was in my life had the ability to hurt me. That she still had the ability to hurt me. I bet she never thought of me half as much as I thought of her.
“At least one of her eff ups had the ability to make her want to get clean and stay clean,” I said drolly. Then I turned to look at Kade. “Sorry bud, didn’t mean that you were an eff up. At least she did something right. She produced four great kids, no thanks to her. Can’t really count Bridgette in on that equation. Four out of five isn’t too bad, though, right? But was that nature or nurture? I mean, was it a bad gene or did Horatio make her that way?”
I knew I was rambling, and I knew I had to erect those barriers further. I didn’t want this audience to see how much she still affected me. “Jr. is at the book store. They killed the real employee so they could impersonate him. Joey is posing as a washing machine or magazine rack, who knows,” I shrugged. “Moe is at the library studying. Using a forcefield against him would be useless.”
I stood up, making my illusions disappear. “Oh yeah. I told Lorenzo to tell his boys to leave us alone. If they step out of line to kill them. I told him to forget our conversation, but just in case he tries to tip them off or let them know we’re onto them, he’s to find the tallest mountain and dive off of it. If he ever makes it back to Horatio, Horatio will me murdered by his left-hand man and it’s going to look like an accident. Kinda ironic isn’t it? He wanted to create me for world domination, and I will be the one that ends him.”
The room was filled with silence. I had to leave with style so I imagined a majestic white unicorn. She would have to be amazingly beautiful and tame. She’ll bow and want me to ride her. She appeared better than I imagined. I climbed up on her.
“Kade, the door please,” I said sweetly before I headed towards the door.
He rushed to open it as I heard my name being called at the same time I heard Will say firmly, “Jaxson James!”
The amazing thing about having a gift is the ability to use it when I wanted to. I knew I had only minutes before my guys came after me. Just as quickly as the unicorn appeared, I made her disappear and I was thankful that I
wore comfortable clothing and my tennis shoes. I took off at a run. I needed to run from the demons in my head, both figuratively and literally.
I needed to find a quiet place to lick my wounds. I didn’t want Remy to try and protect me, I didn’t need Noah or Jaxson trying to make me laugh, I didn’t need Jace’s steady strength, I didn’t need Troy’s poetic words, and I didn’t need Drake’s quiet understanding. I needed to get through this on my own. For now.
“Blake.” Their insistent voices came to me as I found the trail I spied behind our cabin. It looked like four wheelers and snowmobiles used it recently because the snow was packed down without being iced over yet.
“Not now, please,” I added quietly. “I need a breather.”
“You shouldn’t be alone,” Drake said with worry.
“Sorry, not right now,” I stated quietly before I shut them all out. I reached into my pocket remembering I had my ear buds in there and put them in my ear. I turned on my running playlist and pushed myself harder than I had in a long time. It didn’t take me long to realize that my tears were freezing on my face as I ran.
My dad had the greatest stories about my mom. He told me she had the kindest heart and was constantly trying to collect and heal the broken things. She sat with the kid that got bullied at school. She was the little girl that cried when she found the baby birds that fell out of their nest. She was easy to laugh and slow to anger. He had put her on this pedestal that I found myself trying to emulate for over twelve years of my life. And it was all lies! Maybe there was some truth in it, but who could separate the girl from the woman.
I understood the need to want the pain to go away. I understood carrying burdens that were not my own. In the darkest of your nights, you could be tempted to numb the agony. I struggled with her decision to have two of us with the intentions of getting more money for her lifestyle, like we were an item to be purchased off a shelf and returned when we weren’t needed. I don’t know why she chose to have Kade, Micah, and Alex but she made the choices to walk away each time. She should have realized her quest for the next high or the next whim left at least four of us broken in her self-destructive path.
Every time I thought I had a better understanding of who I was, someone else came in with a sledge hammer, shattering my reality once again. It was a daily struggle for me to just live because of what Heidi and her boyfriends put me through. It was hard knowing my father was really my uncle. It was devastating to know my biological father was a monster. It was shocking to know my mother was alive. It was heartbreaking knowing what my siblings went through because of her. It was overwhelming knowing that she lived happily for at least the past three years with yet another sibling of mine.
Slowly but surely, I tried to shed the hurt and anger. I needed to stop letting her have so much power over me. She had so much power over my happiness. I was happy, and she didn’t deserve that power over me. I had a lot to live for with or without her in my life. I had six men that loved me, even if they all hadn’t confessed their love for me yet. I had four siblings that adored me and I adored them. Without her screw ups, I would have never had them. At least we had that going for us.
I had a father figure in my life that was patient, understanding, and treated us all as his own. I wasn’t magically healed or magically better, but I had to stop the darkness spreading. I could dwell on the bad or I could look for the good. I chose to look for the good.
I wasn’t naive or delusional to believe I was still going to struggle with it from time to time, but I needed to put it in perspective. I needed to keep walking forward and stop looking back. I had a lot of reasons to look forward and zero reasons to look back.
I don’t know how long I ran but I was out of breath and my face and hands were numb. I looked around realizing I must have left the trail and was now on a quiet country road. I pulled my hat further down over my ears and pulled my thermal face shield up over my mouth and nose. I saw plumes of smoke in the distance from a chimney. I inhaled the pleasant smell. I put my hands on my hips, desperate to catch my breath. My legs were jelly. I looked around and saw a street sign not too far away. I started to walk to it so I knew exactly where I was. The sign read Sugarstick, I snorted. Where did they come up with some of these street names? Or paint colors? Who got paid to do that kind of job? My random thoughts had me laughing to myself.
I looked around and noticed I must have chosen a street with little to no houses. There were a lot of trees, but no nearby mailboxes. I looked right, then left, and then shrugged; right it was. My breathing was back to normal by the time I reached the first mail box. Large gold numbers, 2051 were on the sign post. The actual mail box was a fairy sitting on a toadstool. The door was in the stem. I couldn’t resist smiling at the whimsical mail box.
I’m better now. Can someone come pick me up? I’m near 2051 Sugarstick Rd. I sent my thoughts to the guys silently.
On our way, was the immediate response.
I continued to walk. I was curious. Trees completely covered the house. Maybe if I walked far enough I could get a glimpse of it. I finally saw the house and wasn’t disappointed. It was a beautiful A-frame house with windows galore. I decided to see if there were other houses on this road just as picturesque. It was some time before I had any indication of another house. I nearly passed the faded green and rusted out mail box. It had seen better days and nearly lie on the ground. I wondered if it was an abandoned parcel of land because the trees were denser here and I saw no signs of a house.
I shrugged as I continued to walk. My body was experiencing a rapid cool down and my sweat was drying cold on my overheated skin—at least that’s what it felt like. I shivered and longed for a hot shower immediately. I walked past what used to be a driveway and vaguely computed the tire tracks in the snow. I paused, finding that odd as I reflected on it. The tire tracks continued to lead to…nowhere.
I cocked my head to the side and shrugged, then started to walk once more. Something in my gut told me I was missing something. Something was off here. I stopped once more and laughed at myself. I was losing it, but I dropped my empath barriers, closed my eyes and tried to reach out to any emotions nearby. I gasped as I felt the fear, panic, desolation, determination, and desperation.
I found my feet following the path of the tire tracks. I was midway down the driveway when I heard my name being called. I turned and saw Troy standing near the end of the driveway. I smiled and ran towards to him. I don’t know who I surprised more, him or myself as I hurled myself into his arms.
He chuckled as he embraced me close. I inhaled his fresh scent mixed with his cologne.
“Take me back please,” I murmured as he lifted me up.
He carried me back to the large black SUV, and I saw varying degrees of censorship on all of my connection’s faces. I didn’t know if they were angry at me for running off or if they wanted to protect me from my own emotions.
“Did we get approval for satellite imaging and got the records for the homes around here?” I asked wanting to avoid any discussions about ‘how I was feeling.’
“We did,” Jace answered.
“Can we look up 2151?” I asked trusting my gut that I had found the woman who gave birth to me.
“There is supposed to be a house there,” Darren said in confusion as one of his screens confirmed a house at 2151 Sugarstick Rd. His other screen of satellite images showed no house existed.
“We need someone to watch these satellite images twenty-four seven,” Jace commanded.
“We’ll also have to find out a way to discreetly post someone near the location. We know Miranda will have to drop the cloak eventually, but we may have less than fifteen minutes to get there to get Hazel,” Troy added quietly.
“We should still keep our lookouts in town,” Gavin stated as he leaned back in his chair. “We don’t know if she able to keep the cloak up while she goes into town, protecting whoever’s left in the house.”
“I don’t understand why she’s doing all the
errands if her…husband is with her. Why wouldn’t he do it? She has to know that people are looking for her,” I stated as I sat down heavily in one of the chairs.
Troy handed me a cup of coffee and I smiled up at him in appreciation. I hadn’t bothered jumping in the shower yet and I was still chilled to the bone.
“Maybe that’s something we should ask her when we see her,” Remy stated as he rubbed the back of my shoulders. “But first, you need to jump into the shower and get into something warm.”
“We’re making you guys dinner for all your hard work,” Drake told the techies who looked at him surprise. I imagined they didn’t get much rewards in their line of work.
“I’m allergic to dairy products and nuts,” one of the techies said in embarrassment.
Drake smiled gently. “How does chicken and dumplings sound?”
“Homemade dumplings?” one of the other techies asked hopefully.
Noah laughed. “Is there any other?”
“Let’s go, Baby girl,” Remy said gently as he grabbed my hand.
“Who’s on the schedule for look out?” I asked before I let him lead me away.
“I’ll make the schedule now and have some of the teams sleep while we come up with a scheduled rotation.” Jace still hadn’t smiled or acted soft towards me since my return. I wondered if he was upset at me.
I nodded before I turned to leave. I shivered as the cold air hit me once again. “Is Jemmy, Rachel, Sam, Sierra, Dawn, Ford, and Marcel boarding again?” I asked as Drake, Noah, Jaxson, and Remy followed me out of the house.
“How’d you guess?” Noah said dryly. “They are taken advantage of any free time they may have.”
“So, they didn’t know about my melt down?” I asked wryly as we walked towards our cabin.
Jaxson and Noah started laughing, and I couldn’t help but notice the faint grin on Drake and Remy’s faces. “Your melt down was epic!” Noah exclaimed. “Jemmy would have been so jealous of the theatrics. None of her melt downs have come close.”
“Even if you outed me to Dad,” Jaxson said with feigned annoyance. “He was pretty upset that we didn’t tell him about the magnitude of the growth in our gifts.”