“Hey, Laney,” said the baseball debater. I couldn’t remember his name at all.
“Uh huh?” I said absently, as I was making a black and tan with one hand and ringing up a lunch order with the other hand.
“Sean here thinks I would be nuts to ask you out,” he said with a grin to Sean, who groaned and glared at what’s-his-name. “He thinks you’d chew me up and spit me out. Now, see, I think of myself as a brave man so I am willing to take my chances.”
“Chances? A chance on the fact that I will spit you out?” I was still too busy to fully grasp the whole conversation.
“Yes, ma’am. So, since I’m a brave sort, unlike Sean here.”
“Shut up, Dave,” Sean said.
Aha. Dave. That was it. I got the black and tan out, made change for the waitress, and took a deep breath. I took a drink of water and leaned against the counter.
“So, let me get this straight. You want to ask me out. Correct?”
“Yes,” Dave said with a cheeky grin.
“But yet you ask Sean if you should.”
“Um … yes.” The grin started fading.
“And Slick here, he warns you away. Correct?”
“Yes,” Dave said, starting to look a little uncomfortable.
“I just wanted to make sure I got the facts straight. Now first off, I can’t consider you at all brave, since you had to ask Slick for advice instead of just jumping right in.”
I straightened up and stretched long and slow, releasing my long, brown hair from its loose knot. I may not be the most feminine person on this planet but I am not oblivious to those feminine wiles I do have — and my hair is the best of them. It’s long, flowing straight past my shoulders, luxurious and velvety brown. William said it felt like sable gliding through his hands. Dave’s hand twitched and Sean just stared, as I took my time resetting it back up on my head.
“Now, since your bravery is based on a recommendation, then the answer is no.” I turned to Sean, “And you. You had better learn to keep your comments to yourself. I may have spit him out but at least I would have considered going out with him, which is more than I can say for you.”
Sean looked at me and I could tell he wanted to say something other than what came out. “As you wish, your highness.” Sean stood up and went to order his food from a booth.
Two of Dave’s friends who had been privy to the conversation made crash and burn noises to Dave as he left me a $5.00 tip and walked out.
By what rights did Sean have to tell Dave that I’d spit him out? Granted, I wasn’t the nicest person around but I gave as good as I got and from the moment Sean had stepped into my path he had been arrogant and antagonistic. A part of me almost admired the fact that he went toe to toe with me. Honestly, not many men had. I knew that was mostly my fault; I made it difficult or even impossible for anyone to get close to me. I didn’t want anyone to get too close. That would mean I might start caring and I would not do that again. Not caring meant my heart could stay intact. I had allowed a large part of my heart, what was truly left of it, to shrivel up and die. I had lost my parents and the only other person I had ever loved. Now, trust me, I wasn’t silly enough to think that everyone I loved would die. But regardless, I found it easier to shrivel up and die inside than try to live again. Then, once I had shriveled up inside, the rest became easier to do. The withdrawal from all polite society and the downward spiral began.
Now that I realized what was happening, that I was beginning to care again, I would be better prepared for it. I could allow myself to care for Tommy and Molly, and I could even allow myself to smile and enjoy living again. But as for anything more, the price the piper asked was too high to pay. I should have known then, that I was totally and completely deluding myself.
Chapter Four
Sean didn’t come back in during the week until Friday night, and when he did he was with a date. At least, I thought she was his date. She was tall with short, black hair and whipcord lean. This woman moved with the grace of a dancer or maybe a panther. She moved like she could take on anyone who dared to cross her path. Oh, she had some attitude, as well. There was a radiance about her that said she knew exactly who she was and what she wanted. Soon after arriving Sean left their table and went to speak to Tommy, and I found her watching me. I nodded to her and she responded by coming over to the bar.
“You must be Laney,” she extended her hand. “My name is Mason. Mason Storm.”
And I thought Laney was an unusual name, as I shook her hand. “That’s me. What can I get for you?”
“Well how about a shot of Tullamore?”
“Good choice. Coming right up.” I poured her a shot and set it on the bar. “Mason Storm. That’s an unusual name.”
Mason laughed and drank her shot of whiskey. “My real name is Elizabeth Sweeney, but I changed it long ago to Mason Storm. It seemed appropriate at the time. Now, it’s just a part of me. So, Laney, how has your first week as bartender gone?”
“Can’t complain. Tips are good.”
“I bet they are.” Mason and I made small talk as I worked the bar. I found out that she was a relative of Tommy’s and that she worked for Woo with Sean. Jesus, who doesn’t work for Woo? I saw Chase come in and scan the pub. From the look he gave Mason as he saw her sitting at the bar, I knew right away he only had eyes for her. Sounds corny, but it was like a banked fire just waiting for the right time to flare up. What confused me even more was she seemed oblivious to it. How could anyone not see it?
Mason nodded to Chase and walked over to the dartboard. The raw emotion that I saw briefly on Chase’s face seemed to wash right over Mason and then disappear. I must have looked surprised or confused at her reception to him because Chase smiled at me and shrugged.
“One day,” was all he said.
He knew I saw what she didn’t see or didn’t want to see. That he would walk through fire for her — and probably had. Right at that instant an almost physical pain stabbed into my heart and I had to rub my chest to quell the ache. This was what I wanted. That deep devotion; the want, desire, and love that threatens to consume you but still allows you to be alive on your own. This was what I wanted in my life. This revelation shocked me so much that I handed Tommy my bar towel and walked out the back door of the pub, over to some bushes, and promptly threw up.
Yeah, I know. Great reaction. I straightened up after a few minutes and Chase handed me a damp towel and a cup of water. I took a deep breath and wiped my face.
“I know just how you feel,” he said staring up at the sky, hands in his back pockets.
“How do you get around with all that held in? How can she not see it?” I asked.
“Mason isn’t ready to see it. I just hope that one day she will be. Until then I’m just happy that she’s alive.”
I digested that bit of information. Probably the only thing I could digest at the time.
Chase turned and looked at me, “Laney, people see what they want to see. We often close our minds to what we fear within ourselves. It’s usually easier to fix someone else’s problems than our own. We get a sense of accomplishment when we do that. There isn’t always someone around to congratulate us for fixing ourselves.”
“Tell me something I don’t know,” I said. My hair, which had fallen from its usual place on top my head, was now in my face. Chase slowly reached up and moved my hair back, tucking it behind my ear. The gesture was simple, tender, and not at all a sexual advance. I watched him with wary eyes but allowed him to do it. Somehow I knew in that minute that a bond was forming between us, a bond of friendship that had no boundaries and no demands.
“I’ll tell you this, Laney. We all have our crosses to bear. Life, death, birth. We bear them. How we carry these crosses can define us. We either live or we don’t. Existing is not living. I know that I may never have Mason. I live with that every day. And ever
y day that I have with her is a gift.”
He tucked the rest of my hair behind my ear and walked back inside. That was when I turned to see Sean standing in the shadows. We stared at one another for what seemed like an eternity before I looked away and went back to the bar. Something had flashed between us. Something grounding and strong and for the second time that night I ached. I also ruthlessly shut it off. Not now. Not ever. Had Chase seen Sean there? I didn’t know but I wouldn’t put anything past Chase at the moment.
The next few days went pretty much like the others. I felt that at several points Tommy had wanted to say something to me but couldn’t quite find the words. It was a bit amusing to watch and at the same time disconcerting. I might not like what he had to say. It might be, “Hey, hit the road,” or “well, it’s been nice.” I heard those often over the years from my various employers. I say various because I’ve had many. Bartender, janitor, security guard, dishwasher — I’m a Jill of many trades, but I was really enjoying working at Muldoon’s. I’d met some very interesting people, too. I even met Superman one day. Really. Superman walked in and sat at the counter and ordered a Coke. He was not particularly tall, but he gave the impression of being lanky and he was wearing a T-shirt with the big “S” logo on it that fit nicely over his well-defined chest. He had a keen sense of energy that seemed to float around him and was ruggedly handsome; sharp-cut cheekbones and dark eyes that drew you in.
“I didn’t know Superman drank Coke.” I set the glass down in front of him.
“Sure he does. How do you think he gets all that energy up to save the world?” he said with a cheeky grin. He extended his hand to me, “Mike Taylor.”
“Laney Murphy.” I shook his hand and tried to withdraw but he held on to it for a moment, gently rubbing this thumb over my knuckles and then he slowly let go.
“Can I get you anything else?” My mouth had gone dry.
“Sure, a date. Not with you, I mean, a date. I haven’t been out on one in so long the guys are starting to question my manliness.”
I didn’t know whether to be insulted that I wasn’t good enough to be asked out or happy I wasn’t the target. I had been hit on a lot lately and had no real desire to go out with anyone; but I was also getting tired of my own company. I hate going to movies alone and I had walked several square miles of the city already during my time off.
“So what’s wrong with me?” I asked, just as Sean sat down next to Mike.
“Is that a trick question?” Sean asked, taking a sip of Mike’s drink and earning himself a glare from Mike. Mike looked at me intently for a moment. “Not a thing darling … just keeping Tommy happy, but come to think of it, who cares about what Tommy thinks anyway … never really stopped me before.”
“What does Tommy have to do with anything?” I asked, confused.
“He doesn’t like the help getting hit on,” Sean said, emphasizing the “hit on” part to Mike.
“Ms. Laney, would you honor me with a date?” Mike asked me ignoring Sean.
I don’t know what Sean was going to say because I ran right over him. “I think I would like to go out with you. Yes.”
Sean looked at me in shock. “You would?”
Mike reached over and took my hand and slowly brought it to his lips, his eyes never leaving mine. “Tomorrow? The bar’s closed so I’ll pick you up at noon.” With that said, he turned and sauntered out. Damn if he didn’t know how to saunter. Attitude. Mike Taylor had it in spades.
Sean sat speechless for a minute. I could see the wheels turning as he worked on what to say. “Tommy’s not going to be happy about this,” he finally managed.
“What does it matter what Tommy wants? He’s not my father and it’s really none of his business. For that matter, it’s none of your business either, Slick. I go out with whoever I want.”
Sean bestowed his usual glare at me and walked away.
As God is my witness, I wonder if that boy really hates me or if his shorts were too tight. Oh, well, better left for someone else to figure out. It wasn’t my problem and I had been doing a pretty good job of staying out of his way. Being realistic though, other than his scowl, Sean really was handsome with those deep green eyes that appraised and measured everything they saw, sculpted face, and high cheekbones. And I was being honest with myself, a first, I know, but since I was, I had to admit my hands itched to dive into that hair of his. It was several shades of brown with golden, sun-kissed highlights. Sean wore it a bit long over the collar and it curled at the ends. It always seemed to be a bit rumpled, as if he ran his hands through it often.
All right, Laney, get a grip. He’s a guy. One of many, and why get all interested — which you aren’t — in a guy who does nothing but glare at you?
Chapter Five
I joined the family for breakfast the next morning and even managed to mostly ignore Sean. He showed up with a smug look on his face but revealed nothing and I was too busy devouring blueberry pancakes to care.
After breakfast and clean up I headed to the shower and then perused my wardrobe. Gah! This was definitely another area of my life that was in need of an overhaul. I had nothing but jeans that were ripped and worn almost through at the seams and too many t-shirts that should have been in the rag bin. Finally, after much tossing of my clothing, I managed to find a pair of jeans that were not ripped at the knees and a not-too-faded shirt.
I studied myself in the mirror with a critical eye, and then shrugged. Contrary to the popular belief growing up, I was not the “ugly stepsister.” I was taller than average, had long straight thick brown hair and flawless skin, thanks to Cousin Christina.
My cousin, Christina, had a peaches-and-cream complexion and Aunt Katherine had spent a fortune at dermatologists and at beauty and charm schools.
Now if you asked me, I would have said it was a waste of money. Sure, Christina had perfect skin and was beautiful. But as for charm, let’s just say that once Aunt Katherine found out about the number of boys she’d been charming, in her room, it was off to an all-girls boarding school. Before she left, I took advantage of all this stored-up information I had and used every bit of it to my advantage when I could and had threatened Christina that if she did not let me use her facial stuff then I would tell on her. Cheap shot, I know, but it worked. You see, it was once I got to school that I finally shone. At first I was sent to a private school with the girls. But eventually I was tormented so much by my cousins and their friends that I decided I needed to get out.
I never started any of the fights but I damn well made sure I finished them. That created such a stir with my aunt that I was sent to the local public school. No one knew me. No one knew my family and I wasn’t chauffeured to school in a limousine. I took the bus like a normal kid. There I found out that I was not as ugly as I had been told and that I had brains. The brawn didn’t hurt either. You still have to establish your territory no matter what school you’re in. But I wasn’t ugly and I was smart. Wow. Who knew?
I brushed my hair and left it down, stuffed my ID and some cash into a jacket pocket, and went downstairs a good twenty minutes ahead of time. I was slowly getting a good case of nerves going and began pacing around the bar, wondering what I had gotten myself into.
“You’re acting like you’ve never been on a date,” I said out loud. “Jesus, what was I thinking?”
“I don’t know. What were you thinking?” Sean asked as he came into the pub from the back hallway.
“Nothing. I was just talking to myself. What are you doing skulking around?”
“Madame, I was not skulking. I was simply coming over here to fix the phone. Tommy mentioned that it was not working right so I offered to take a look at it. What are you doing here?”
“I’m waiting for Mike.”
“Oh, right, your date. I think you’re nuts for going out with him but, hey, it’s your choice.”
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“Damn straight it’s my choice. Why the heck do you dislike him so much? He steal your girlfriend or something?”
I had truly just been goofing around when I said that but by the look on Sean’s face I knew something like that had happened. “Ouch, that must have hurt.”
“Shut up, Laney!” he yelled as he stalked into the kitchen. “Mind your own business.”
Twenty more minutes passed and then twenty more. Okay, he was late but maybe there was traffic. After an hour had passed I knew that I had been stood up. Great! My first date in a year and I get stood up. Yep, Murphy’s Law was still at work here. I sighed as Sean walked back in.
“Hey shouldn’t you be gone by now?”
“Well, Slick, it appears I have been stood up. So if you’ll excuse me I am going to my room.”
“Laney, maybe there was an emergency or something.”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Look. Mike is an asshole but I’m sure it wasn’t intentional. I have the whole day off today, which is unusual. I hate going to movies by myself and I really want to go see the new James Bond movie. It’s been out for awhile and I’ve been too busy to go see it. Why don’t you come with me? My treat.”
“No.” I thought for a moment and then changed my mind. What could it hurt? I hated going to movies by myself. “I mean, sure, I’ll go with you. But I’ll pay my own way.”
“Fine. We can do a little window shopping before the movie.”
“I always wanted to buy a window,” I said sarcastically.
Sean laughed. “You see I knew you had a sense of humor in there somewhere.”
I was surprised that Mike really had stood me up. I hadn’t gotten the impression that he was a flake but first impressions aren’t everything. We checked the movie listings to find that we had a couple of hours to kill before show time. “So this is your city,” I said to Sean. “Now what?” He only smiled and opened the passenger side of his Jeep.
“No questions. Just hop in and allow me to play tour guide.” I looked at him skeptically but got in. Why was he being so nice? Pity, maybe?
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