Dinner with Miss Heart, who now insisted I call her Amelia, was a quiet affair. Her assistant, Joan, was staying in the second bedroom and had arranged for room service. Miss Heart — Amelia — spent several hours picking my brain about who I was and my past. I’d have to give her credit. She knew what questions to ask, and I answered them as honestly as possible. As I was getting ready to leave I took a deep breath, and then told her about my suspicions with Steven.
She leaned back in her chair. “Joan has said as much to me. I hate to let him go. He’s been my publicist since the beginning. My beginning and his. We were both nobodies when we met, but we both had a dream of what we wanted. He has done well for me and for himself in ten years. Maybe I need to have a talk with him. Tomorrow is my last Bay Area date, then we head to Los Angeles. I’ll talk to him when we get down there. Thank you. I appreciate your honesty.”
I left her room for mine, nodding to the night security. I was tired and couldn’t wait to sleep. I got to my room, locked the door, then made a careful inspection of the whole room. Not that it took much to do that, but I was feeling paranoid. Once I had changed into my sweats and T-shirt I sat down to call Sean. I went right for the heart of the matter as soon as he said hello.
“Did you ask Jason to keep an eye on me?”
“Well good evening to you too, Laney.”
“Did you ask Jason to keep an eye on me?”
“I heard what you said the first time and yes, I did.”
“So, what, I can’t take care of myself?”
“I’m sure you can, but I wanted to be sure you were safe.”
“Do you do that for all the people you work with?” I was mad and I really didn’t need to be. I think it was all based on on principle and pride. I didn’t wait for his answer. I hung up on him and turned the ringer off on my cell phone. Childish, I know, but I didn’t want that as an answer. I needed to hear that he thought I was a capable woman. That I could handle this job and take care of myself. He wasn’t saying that. If he was, then I wasn’t hearing it. Between my shoulder and Sean, I slept terribly that night. Thankfully, the next day was a short lecture with questions and not a signing. By two o’clock, Jason and I were heading back to Woo. I closed my eyes and pretend to sleep and Jason let me. Once back at Woo though I had barely sat down at my desk when Chase called me into his office.
“Mr. Ray has lodged a complaint against you. He said you attacked him in the elevator without provocation.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“He also said you broke his finger.”
I sat there and said nothing.
Chase sat back in his chair looking at the report. “Did you?”
“No, I didn’t. I did twist the little sucker around though to get his attention.”
Chase sat forward in the chair, setting his elbows on the desk and steepled his hands under his chin. “I see.”
“Do you?”
“Well as a matter of fact I do. The elevators have video cameras. I am having a copy of the incident sent to Mr. Ray’s attorney.”
I sat there quietly. “Laney. Next time something like that happens please let me know when it happens. I don’t like surprises.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Go home. You look like crap.”
I nodded and got up. I felt like crap. I walked out of Chase’s office and past Sean’s desk. We glared at each other but said nothing as I got my suitcase and headed to the bus stop.
As I was crossing the parking lot heading to the corner, Sean came up behind me and took my suitcase from my hand, walked back across the parking lot, and tossed it in the back of his Jeep.
Oh for Pete’s sake. I walked over and reached for it to get it out. He grabbed it and a tug of war ensued. “Fine!” I let go and turned to walk off to the bus stop. Sean growled in exasperation, picked me up in his arms, and dumped me into the front seat of this Jeep.
“Woman, if you try to get out I will haul you back and tie you in,” he said through gritted teeth.
I’ll be damned. Of course I got out and he went to grab me, ducking under my swing and pushing me against the side of the Jeep. “Damn woman. Hold still a moment.” We had drawn a crowd of Woo employees who were exchanging money. I stopped and fired off a few declarative sentences about his manliness that would have made a sailor blush. Sean just grinned and kissed me hard.
“God, I love your temper.” Every time I tried to say something he kissed me until I gave up. I could only hold out for so long against how I felt.
“Laney, I only asked Jason to check on you because I was worried. Okay? I didn’t mean that you couldn’t handle yourself. My God, you’ve already proved that several times. I just don’t want anything to happen to you. Can I give you a ride home?”
I nodded and he picked me back up and set me down in the Jeep to the applause of our coworkers.
Over the next few weeks it was business as usual at work, but with Sean and I things took a turn toward the budding romance that was between us. The ladies at work teased me that my desk looked like an arboretum because Sean was always giving me flowers. I surprised him one day with a picnic dinner to watch the sunset over the ocean. I still hadn’t said those three magic words, but I was closer to it now. Hell, I still could barely admit aloud that I liked him. I told myself it was only lust, but I knew I was deluding myself. Again.
I had not had any more contact with James. I didn’t even know if he was still in town and I didn’t try to find out. I thought it best to let sleeping dogs lie. My shoulder was healing and I tried to push it further every time I managed to get some gym time, which was not often enough for me. I felt good. Life was good. Simply put, I was content. Something I don’t think I had been in many years. I was happy and the desperation of the past year was gone. If I dare say, I had hope, a powerful feeling in itself.
One packed Saturday at Muldoon’s, with Tommy down two waitresses due to illness, I tended bar, Sean filled in, and Molly helped Jacob in the kitchen. Tommy had an Irish band in that night. A lovely voiced singer name Mary Donovan was making her debut that night. In short, the joint was jumping.
Several times during the evening I caught Sean watching me, and at one point glaring at me like old times. Of course I knew why. I was flirting with a guy at the bar. Granted, I had no idea who the guy was but he was cute and I was in a good mood. Besides, after Sean made several unnecessary trips to the bar the guy got the message that he was poaching. It didn’t stop him from flirting but he now knew that it wasn’t going anywhere. It was after closing and I was in the basement stocking shelves when Sean walked in. He closed the door and leaned back against it.
“Hey. Long night, huh?” I said trying not to smile. I could tell he was pissed and jealous, and God help me I couldn’t help but enjoy it. I kept right on restocking though.
“You enjoy tonight?” he asked, the anger simmering behind his words.
“Well it was hard work, but yeah, I had a good time tonight.”
“You enjoy fawning all over that guy?”
“Which guy?”
My first mistake was not looking at Sean to see how far I was pushing. The second was keeping my back to him.
He grabbed my arm, spinning me around and into his arms. His hands, like a vise, gripped my arms as he held me against him.
“You’re just jealous!” I said.
“You’re damn right I’m jealous!” He locked my wrists behind my back with one hand and his other hand grabbed my hair as his mouth blazed a trail down my throat. I tried to get free but it only made him growl and hold me tighter. I had no idea that this much passion was inside him. I felt like the tide was pulling me under. His teeth scraped along my jaw. No matter how hard I tried to fight, something hard and hot built up between us. I wrenched my wrists free and threw my arms around him. His hands moved restles
sly over my body. His hands set fire to my skin they slipped under my shirt, molding my flesh. It had been far too long for both of us. Now, was all I could think. Right now.
His breath was hot as he touched his tongue to my ear, moving to my ear lobe, then down to my neck. His teeth nipped along my neck then he bit down harder, and I felt myself falling into a raging firestorm. His breathing was as hard as mine, both of us struggling for some nameless release. His hands moved up to cup my face as he drew in a deep breath and tried to gentle his kisses. God help me, I whimpered. I did not want this to stop. He put his head to mine, tenderly kissing my closed eyes. His breathing labored, “Laney, please, let me take you to bed.”
Since I knew he could take me just about anywhere right then, I nodded. It was time. There was no reason not to. He stepped back and held out his hand to me. Restocking could wait.
The bar was locked up and everyone off to their beds. Nerves hit me like a million butterflies in my stomach as we stepped into my room. I turned to lock the door, as Sean came up behind me. He pulled me back against him, lifting my hair away from my neck. He didn’t kiss my neck, but allowed his breath to travel up to my ear. His hands slowly unbuttoned my shirt and lightly traveled along my stomach, over the curve of my breasts to my shoulders, removing my shirt. My knees were already weak and I was slowly losing any sanity I might have had. I tried to reach back to touch him but he gently took my arms and placed them at my side. “Let me.” was all he said.
His fingers danced up my back sending shudders rippling along my spine. His breath trailed across my shoulder and then my back as his fingers unbuttoned my jeans. My hands ached to touch him but he still wouldn’t let me. Once my shoes and jeans were off he turned me to face him. “Ever since you went to see Madame Elise I’ve been dreaming about what might be under those clothes. God, Laney, you are so beautiful. Every time you have your hair up I want to pull those pins out and run my hands through it.”
Keeping my eyes on his, I reached out to touch his face. I wanted to remember every single detail of him — the softness of his hair, the rough shadow of beard on his face, the way he looked at me, never wavering or faltering as my hands slid under his shirt and discovered hard planes of muscles and smooth skin. He moaned, his eyes closing, when my fingernails slid down his back and my hands went to his hips. He reached out to touch me but I shook my head. This was my voyage of discovery and I wanted no distractions. I pulled his shirt off, my mouth following its ascent upward from his stomach to his chest. Time took on a whole new meaning as I explored his body. Eventually we found the bed as the heat between us built up again. Body to body we met, both reaching again for some plane of existence that would grant a release from the exquisite torture we both endured at each other’s hands.
We spent most of Sunday in bed sleeping or making love. As we lay entwined late Sunday night I knew I had never felt contentment like this. I could want for nothing more in my life but to have this moment over and over. Why I didn’t tell him I loved him then I didn’t know. Some wall still stood in the way and I could not get past it. I sighed and trailed my hand along his chest. Neither one of us could seem to get enough. There was still so much to see and feel, to taste and savor. I wanted it all and for now I would take my fill.
Chapter Eleven
A few days later I was on a job in San Jose when Mike showed up with Jason. I smiled at them as they walked across the office courtyard I was in, but my smile faded as I noticed the grim look Mike had on his face.
“Hey, guys. What’s up?” I tried to keep my heart from racing. Nothing to gain by getting anxious until I knew what was going on.
“Laney. Jason is going to take over for you. There has been an accident. We — I — need you to come with me.” Mike reached out to take my arm but I backed away from him.
“Tell me.”
“Laney.” Mike’s voice was gentle.
“No, damn it, you tell me now!”
Mike rubbed a hand over his face. “It’s Sean. His client, Boris, was shot and killed today. Sean is missing. We don’t know what happened to him yet.”
I swallowed back the bitter taste that had come up in my mouth and tried to clear the haze that was making it hard to think. “You’re tracking him, right? The Geek Twins have him on their computer, right?” My voice sounded strange even to me, as Mike took a hold of my arm. “There is a signal. It was under the Golden Gate Bridge. Boris was killed near Market Street. That puts Sean several miles away and under the ocean. The Coast Guard is running a search right now.”
I pulled my arm free of Mike’s hand and backed away from them. “No! He is not dead! Don’t you even think it!” I dug my fingernails into my palm to try and clear away the fear that was snaking its way into my mind. Trying to hold back the memory of hearing that William was dead.
“You’ll see. The Geek Twins are wrong. It could happen, right?” God help me, this wasn’t happening again.
“Laney, come on. You should go home and be with Tommy and Molly right now.” Mike gently tugged me toward his truck.
I nodded and handed the company car keys to Jason, who squeezed my hand. Mike drove me back to Muldoon’s and Molly met us at the door with a big hug. “No news yet,” Molly told us. I nodded and went to my room to change out of my working clothes. It was as if I could see myself removing my clothes, hanging them up, putting on different clothes, all very calm and mechanical, until I found one of Sean’s shirts in my closet. I could smell him on it and I dropped to my knees and prayed.
I had not prayed since I was a child hiding from James. I had lost my faith in God many years ago. But, as they say, there are no atheists in foxholes — I figured I might as well see if he still listened to me.
“Hey, God, you remember me? I’m the kid that asked you to bring her Daddy back. Then, when that didn’t happen, I asked for you to bring back both of my parents and get rid of the other family I was left with. You didn’t make good on that request either. Then you had the gall to take away William. You had to figure that I’d lose hope and faith after that. But you saw fit to bring Sean in to my life, forcing me to gain a little hope and faith back. Now what kind of game are you playing here? Don’t you dare do this! You have no right! Neither you, nor Fate, have the right to do this. I’m giving you one last chance, God.”
Granted I could have been a bit more respectful but I was feeling that old rage creeping back to my door and I was going to use it to keep me strong. To keep me strong enough to not bow to the dread that had wrapped itself around my heart. No way was I going to break this time.
I put Sean’s T-shirt on and walked back to the house to see what was going on. Chase and Tommy had just walked in to the living room. Tommy went to a cabinet and brought out a bottle of Irish whiskey and poured a shot for himself.
Chase sat down on the couch. “The coast guard found a bundle of clothes in the water. Sean’s watch was in the pocket of the jeans. There was no sign of him. The only witnesses to the shooting were too busy ducking to see what happened. Connor Sweeney will be here later; he’s running the investigation.”
My cell phone was buzzing in my back pocket so I quietly left the room.
“Hello?”
“Hello, Helena darling. Miss me?”
Oh God, not now. Not this right now.
“What?”
“Now is that anyway to talk to the man who holds fate in his hands?”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Where’s Sean, Helena? You think on that. I’ll call you back soon, love.”
“No! Wait!” James had hung up.
“Everything okay?” Mike had come up behind me.
I quickly turned my phone to silent mode and put it in my back pocket. I turned around, praying that I had managed a poker face.
“Everything’s fine. Just someone trying to sell me something.” As
I walked away from him, he reached out and stopped me. “You’re not alone, Laney. Remember that.”
I remembered that and I remembered Sean saying the exact same thing to me. I knew that in this house there were plenty of people feeling as lost and as scared as I was, but I was not able to reach out to them to gain some sort of comfort. I needed the cold, hard anger to keep me from falling apart. I nodded to Mike and went back to the living room. I couldn’t stay there for long. I felt like a lion trapped in a cage. James had Sean? How was that possible? Was he capable of it? I didn’t know, but I knew that after all this time James might be capable of anything.
Detective Sweeney finally arrived and I listened closely to his account of the events. “What we know is that at approximately noon today, Sean and Boris Petrovsky were just sitting down to lunch outside at The Bear, a restaurant that specializes in Russian food. Apparently it was Boris’s habit to eat there every Monday. A black van drove up and fired three rounds into Boris and several more around the area for good measure. The waiter said he saw Sean before the shooting started. But the waiter, as well as three other people, dove to the ground and under tables and didn’t see Sean when they came back up after the shooting had stopped. That’s all I have right now.” But the look that Detective Sweeney gave Chase told me there was more he just wasn’t saying yet.
So I waited. I didn’t pace, although I wanted to run. I didn’t talk, because I felt like screaming. Three hours later my phone vibrated and I calmly got up and went to the bathroom. I knew Mike was watching me like a hawk, so I locked the door behind me and turned on the fan and the water.
“Yes.”
“Oh I like hearing that. Will you be saying that for me later on, Helena?”
“Look, you sick bastard … ”
“Be nice, sweetheart. Be nice or lover boy will suffer.”
“I want to talk to him.”
“Ask me nicely.”
Sexy in the City Page 29