“Cami, that’s enough!”
Camille was ready to cry. “He’s never going to forgive you.”
“Don’t you think I know that? I don’t know what to do anymore!”
Camille inhaled deeply. She turned away from Rachel and put her wine glass down.
“I’m just going to leave. You need to figure out what the hell is going on in your head. And I … I just need to be away from you right now.”
• • •
Sunday night with Camille had pretty much set Rachel’s mood for the following day at Equinox. The sweet-as-sugar text messages from Joe weren’t helping at all, even though he managed to make her smile. Rachel was on edge, and partially angry with Camille for making her face something she just wasn’t ready to. She was even more pissed off at Michelle for leaving a pile of secretarial nonsense than was larger than usual. I should have just stayed home, Rachel thought sourly.
Suddenly, a door creaked open at the other end of the office, and Rachel heard footsteps coming closer. Please leave me alone, she begged silently as she ran a hand through her hair in exasperation. Moments later, Michelle appeared from around the cubicle wall. Rachel jumped back as she unceremoniously dumped a small stack of manuscripts on her desk. They landed with a loud thump, making Rachel look up at Michelle with a stunned expression.
Michelle’s voice was patronizing and a little too loud for Rachel’s taste. “Okay now, Rachel. I need rejection letters for each of these. When you’re done with the letters, I want you to dispose of the manuscripts. Do you understand that? Throw. Them. Away. If you don’t perform this task to the letter, I will have you removed from the building. Is that clear?”
Rachel’s eyes widened as Michelle turned on her heel and stormed away. She stood up and watched Michelle go back into her office, her cheeks burning from embarrassment. A couple of assistants stood as well, watching Rachel with empathy and shock written all over their faces. Rachel looked around, and her brow knitted together angrily. Not today, Michelle — not today.
She took a deep breath and took long, determined strides toward Michelle’s office. She stepped in without knocking and closed the door behind her … hard. Michelle looked up, her expression one of surprise mixed with a bit of aggravation.
“Ok, seriously. What’s your problem?”
Michelle dropped the folder she was holding on to her desk, narrowing her eyes at Rachel. “I would just like an assistant who does what the hell she’s told. Is that too much to ask for?”
Stunned, Rachel’s voice shook as she tried to control its volume. “Are you kidding me? I get your coffee, I proofread your work, I correspond with your authors … all you have left is simple read-throughs. Would you like me to do those for you too?”
Michelle slammed her hands on the desk and stood. “If you actually did what you were supposed to, I wouldn’t have to worry about the security of manuscripts that were sent to me!”
Rachel folded her arms angrily. “Michelle, what are you talking about?
Rounding her desk, she pointed a perfectly manicured finger at Rachel. “You went over my head on the Pavon book! I told you to send a rejection letter and destroy it, and you still went ahead and did what you wanted to do! How am I supposed to trust you? And listen to yourself — you won’t even own up to what you did!”
Rachel shifted her weight to one side, throwing her hands in the air and dropping them at her sides. “Is that what this is about? Fine! I handed the script to Lucy! Are you happy?
Michelle stepped forward, challenging Rachel and invading her space. “No! I told you what to do and you defied me.”
“Okay, first of all — back away from me, right now,” Rachel said brusquely. “Second, I tried to tell you what I saw in the script and why you should give it another read. But you saw fit to talk down to me and put me in what you thought was my place. So I did what I had to do for the sake of the book.
Michelle was outraged, and she let out an incredulous laugh. “For the sake of the book? Don’t you mean for the sake of yourself? You had no business — ”
Rachel interrupted loudly, “You were wrong to turn it down. If you had given it a second read, we could have gone to Lucy together. But no, you insulted me, shut me down, and sent a rejection letter anyway, knowing that I wasn’t going to send one.”
Michelle took a step back in disgust. “How dare you!”
Rachel leaned forward, growing angrier as Michelle played the victim. “Look me in the face and tell I’m wrong!”
“You can’t prove anything,” Michelle sneered, folding her arms.
“I will, Michelle. I won’t let you throw me to the wolves like you did your other assistants — I won’t let it happen.”
Michelle stepped forward again, rage in her face. “You have five seconds to get out of my office!”
“Oh, trust me, I’m leaving,” Rachel growled, “But I’m going straight to Lucy’s office from here. I’m over your attitude, Michelle — I’m done.”
Loudly, Michelle let out another raucous laugh. “Oh, that’s nice! Going over my head again, huh? Go on, do it — you’ll never work in this field again!”
The door burst open as Michelle advanced, and Rachel spun around. Lucy stood in the doorway, looking absolutely livid. Behind her you could see the curious faces of every member of the staff as they peered into Michelle’s office. Scowling, Lucy closed the door.
“That is enough,” she spoke firmly, teeth clenched together. “Are you both out of your minds?”
Rachel’s heart was pounding in her ears. Too terrified of Lucy’s wrath to move, she didn’t bother turning to look in Michelle’s direction. Lucy’s hands were knotted together, her knuckles white from the effort of keeping her hands still.
Her teeth still clenched, Lucy quietly demanded, “I am horrified at your behavior — both of you. This stops now. I want to meet with the two of you separately starting tomorrow. For now, I want the both of you to clock out and go home.”
Michelle protested, “But Lucy, she — ”
Lucy held up a hand, and Michelle closed her mouth. “Am. I. Understood.”
The words barely formed a question; they were spoken with so much ire. Michelle pouted briefly before grabbing her purse and walking out. Rachel remained completely still until Michelle had left the office. Only then did she dare to meet Lucy’s eyes.
“I’m sorry, Lucy.”
Lucy registered no emotion. “Go home, please.”
Rachel took a deep breath and walked around Lucy, heading back to her cubicle. She grabbed some of the work she knew she could do from home and stuffed it in her bag; there was no reason to fall behind. She took slow steps toward the elevator, not wanting to have to share an elevator with Michelle and risk going to jail on top of this humiliation. When she reached the lobby, Amy watched her with an empathetic frown.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Rach,” she said, her voice filled with compassion.
Rachel turned and raised a hand to wave, but dropped it to her sides. Don’t you cry again, damn it! Holding her head high, her all-consuming goal became to try and get out of the lobby with a little bit of dignity. Rachel stepped onto the elevator car and waited until the doors closed before shaking her head slowly.
Chapter Ten
Five hours at Orchid was the last thing Rachel wanted to do. Embarrassed by her early dismissal from Equinox, she’d taken a nap that didn’t help, and taken a shower that hadn’t calmed her at all. Her ego was bruised, and she was exhausted. She couldn’t seem to straighten the frown on her face, but at least one good thing came out of her surly attitude: tonight, Kirby was the best dominatrix in the office.
It was late, and the phones were nearly silent. Rachel didn’t mind it much, because she knew she had a lot to think about. What she really wanted was to talk to Cami, but she wasn’t ans
wering her phone. Time to be a grown up and figure this out for yourself! Rachel pouted involuntarily and leaned back in her chair, putting her hands behind her head.
Rachel was holding on to a job that she cared nothing about, all because of a fear that she hadn’t even proven to be warranted. Keeping up this charade, allowing Kirby to “exist,” could cost her everything — Joe included. Rachel took a deep breath and closed her eyes, fighting off the pain that stabbed her core like a knife when she thought about Joe’s reaction if he found out whom she’d been and what she’d been doing.
Tears stinging at her eyes for what felt like the millionth time in the last couple of days, Rachel knew she was wrong. She’d taken advantage of Joe and played this entire relationship to cater to her own insecurities. She’d foolishly justified being both Kirby and Rachel with Joe; as long as she “used her powers for good” then surely no one could possibly get hurt. But that was about as far from the truth as possible, and Rachel was finally seeing that.
But what could she have done earlier to keep this mess from becoming what it was? Not take his calls? Quit the job? Change her girl name? Rachel shook her head on all accounts. The situation with Joe was a sad side note to the fact that she stayed at Orchid because she genuinely needed the money until the job she really wanted came through. It was supposed to be an innocent second job, one that would have ended once it had served its purpose. But now things were spiraling out of control — and a solution was far beyond her reach.
Her phone rang, and she sat up with a quiet groan. She considered letting it pass, but one of the only two girls in the office with her was on break, and the other was on a call. Putting her headset on, she once again called up her alter ego and answered the phone.
“Hi, this is Kirby.”
“Doctor Kirby, how goes it?”
Her heart sank. Why, Joe? For a brief moment, she resented his need to go to Kirby for advice. Resentment turned quickly to shame as she reminded herself that she’d encouraged his behavior.
“Hey, hey — how are you?”
He chuckled at his own answer. “I’m on top of the world and stuck under a boulder all at the same time.”
Rachel let out an amused sigh. “Sounds like fun. Explain, buddy.”
“Well, you already know that Rachel and I are dating.”
I know more than you realize. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure you told me that already.”
“And you know I’m nuts about her,” he continued. “I really, really don’t want to hurt her. She means everything to me.”
She closed her eyes, guilt stabbing into her chest. “Does she?”
Joe sighed. “Kirb, I’m in love with her. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it — she just owns my heart. That’s it.”
Her eyes closed, her face scrunching up in pain. “You’ve got your mind made up, huh?”
“Yeah, I do,” Joe replied matter-of-factly.
“Have you told her?”
Joe paused, but answered after a brief moment of silence. “In a manner of speaking.”
She opened her eyes, raising an eyebrow. “You told her you love her … in a manner of speaking?”
“Well, she stayed at my house the other night.”
Her body tingled happily at the memory of his massive arms wrapped around her. To keep up appearances, she asked, “Did you two finally — ”
“No,” Joe interrupted with a laugh, “I told you, I wanted to wait. I didn’t want her to think that I was romancing her for the opportunity to get into her pants.”
She sighed. “Right, right — I forgot, I’m sorry. So go on, she spent the night at your place?”
“Yeah, she stayed with me. We curled up on my bed and just slept. I woke up in the middle of the night and she was curled up against me, muttering something in her sleep.”
Muttering? Joe’s voice trailed for a second, but he continued, “She made no sense, but her voice was so beautiful. Her face looked so peaceful, so I kissed her on the forehead and I just said it.”
A tear slid down her cheek. “What did you say?”
Joe chuckled. “You’re really going to make me repeat it?”
“Hey,” she sniffled, making a valiant attempt at sounding like a ball buster, “you’re going to have to say it again soon, right?”
“That’s true. I just … it makes me nervous to put myself out there.”
Quietly, she encouraged him. “Practice on me.” Please.
He chuckled, pausing only for a moment; his voice softened. “I love you, Rachel.”
Her body nearly crumpled from the weight of his words. She heard the sincerity, felt it through the phone. And I’m officially a creeper. She wanted to hang up the phone and cry.
“Kirby?”
She took a deep breath, exhaling away from the headset. “I’m here.”
“If I try and … well, if I try — do you think it’s too soon?”
“No.”
Joe heaved a sigh. “I was hoping you’d say that.”
She forced a laugh. “I bet you were. Look, the fact is, if she loves you the way you love her — and I think she does — the timing is perfect. Don’t you agree?”
“I do,” he answered. “And I know you can’t see this, but I’m nodding.”
The chuckle that came from her lips was genuine this time. “I totally believe you.”
There was a moment of silence between the two of them, and it was there that Rachel made a split-second decision.
“Listen, Joe — I should tell you now. This is going to be my last day. So I won’t be available anymore.”
Joe sounded impressed. “Oh yeah, that’s great! Tell me you’re going to college to be a psychotherapist.”
Rachel gave a laugh. “No, but I need a career change. Every one reaches the end of their rope, I suppose.”
“Well, that’s awesome. I certainly wish you the best.”
“Thanks, Joe — I wish you the same.”
“Hey, Kirby?”
“Mmm?”
“Thanks for everything.”
Geez, it’s like needles through my heart. “My pleasure.”
“Take care.”
“You too.”
• • •
Rachel arrived at Equinox an hour earlier than her start time. The office was virtually empty. Two of her fellow assistants, Jacob and Tanya, were at their desk having breakfast. The air was filled with what normally would have been a heavenly aroma of bacon and eggs. Today, the smell made her stomach turn. She sat at her desk, fidgeting nervously as she reorganized her desk three times over. Would this be her last day at Equinox? Rachel sighed and ran a hand through her hair, absently pulling at the ends.
Time went by far too fast for her liking. She heard Lucy’s chipper laugh as she walked through the lobby and toward the back. Her stomach dropped heavily; that old feeling she’d get as kid when she would visit the doctor threatened to consume her. A nervous yawn hit her hard and her knee bounced repeatedly, tapping out an odd rhythm on the underside of her desk. Rachel pulled out her cell phone at looked at the time. 9:00 A.M. She’s coming for me soon.
The next hour dragged by, and every minute that passed was excruciating. She gnawed at her fingernails, knowing she was going to regret it later. Her phone rang, and she nearly jumped a foot in the air. She picked it up, fumbling with it before finally putting it to her ear.
“Rachel Sirianni.”
Lucy’s voice was soft, once again frighteningly pleasant. “I’m ready for you, Rachel.”
Rachel’s brow furrowed in response. “I’m on my way.”
The walk to Lucy’s office was painful. Every step she took felt like another step toward a nervous breakdown. She was briefly visited with an urge to run, top speed, to the elevator and cut out as fast
as she could. Shaking her head, she pushed the thought aside. She straightened her back, and forced herself to walk tall.
Lucy’s office door was already open. “Good morning, Rachel. Come on in, have a seat.”
Rachel stepped cautiously, sitting with her back straight in the chair.
“Rachel, it’s okay.”
She blushed. “Sorry, Lucy … I just haven’t been able to relax since you sent me home yesterday.”
“Well, you can hardly blame me,” Lucy replied, stapling a small packet of papers together. “But I’m glad that you stuck up for yourself. One of the junior editors saw Michelle provoke you.”
“Look, I get why she’s upset. But she didn’t have to — ”
“I know, Rachel. I agree with you. She shouldn’t have been disrespectful. To that end, I heard everything you said to her before I entered the room. If you had told me sooner that things were this difficult, I would have remedied it. I’m a little disappointed that you didn’t trust me to help you.”
“That’s not it at all, Lucy,” Rachel tried to explain. “Everyone has to pay their dues. Getting her coffee, doing her administrative work is really not a big deal. My only problem with her before yesterday was that I couldn’t get behind her judgment when it came to the manuscripts that landed on her desk. And maybe the rookie hazing got to me a little.”
“Again, why didn’t you tell me?”
“She got a reputation for being the best somehow, right? I just thought … no, I take that back. I didn’t think. I’m sorry Lucy, I should have told you sooner. And I shouldn’t have stopped at the Pavon book.”
Lucy smiled. “I appreciate that.”
“When will we be discussing my progress again?”
“I’m not sure that it’s necessary anymore.”
“I see.” Rachel’s face fell.
Lucy grinned, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “Once again, you misread me. Can I be blunt? You’re safe here. You won’t be losing your job today, or in the near future for that matter. But do us both a favor and come to me before a problem morphs into what I saw yesterday?”
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