“Cheeky.” Elaine gave her a sideways look, and Lisa wondered if she’d gone too far. Among the studio’s part-time teachers, she was known as the sweet one who didn’t snap or answer back. But then, she didn’t normally have to deal with the prospect of facing, for the first time, the guy who’d broken her heart when she was eighteen. No, make that the guy who had taken her heart and smashed it into tiny pieces and trampled them under the suede soles of his dance shoes.
It had taken her two years to get over him enough to get together with someone else, and even that hadn’t been a resounding success. She couldn’t have married Brandon, not even for her mother’s dying wish. What had she been thinking of? And for five years, no less!
For that matter, what was she thinking of now, drifting off into a daydream mid-conversation?
She tuned back in, just in time to catch the last of Elaine’s comment. “ … and ended up with a studio in Florida.”
Oh. So that was all she’d missed. A news flash on dancing’s golden boy. No longer roaming the world chasing rich widows and a perfect tan. Now that he was working in the States he had it all in one place, while she struggled to fit her real passions, dancing and teaching dance, in the gaps around a demanding day job in marketing. Well, good for him. It didn’t change anything as far as she was concerned.
“Oh,” Lisa said faintly, trying not to think of Redmond eight years older, wiser, and probably sexier. With a tan.
“So … ” Elaine quirked an eyebrow. Lisa had known her long enough not to have to ask what she meant. Would she or wouldn’t she? And how Lisa wished she could say no. No, I won’t have the bastard back under this roof with me at any price. No, I won’t dance with him at Blackpool. And no, I absolutely will not under any circumstances let anyone believe for a moment that there’s anything going on between us. I don’t care if the TV crew thinks that following half a dozen couples who are real-life partners as well as dancing partners would make great TV, or if they are putting up an eye-popping sum of money for the best couple at the end of the series. It’s not worth it, for the trophies or the money, or anything else.
But …
Even though Elaine tried to keep the pleading out of her voice, Lisa knew how much it would mean to her and Mark. They’d been almost like parents to her for years now. She owed them. Winning at Blackpool would be a big deal for her own career and for the studio. The money would help too. If they got the big prize, it would take care of all the repairs the cinema-turned-studio needed, and stop the directors getting in trouble with the listings committee over using cheapskate suppliers. Even if she and Red didn’t win, well … six weeks of prime time TV … Lisa knew money couldn’t buy that kind of advertising. Certainly not the kind of money that a beautiful but antiquated studio rapidly being overtaken by shinier, newer venues could afford. She loved the Empire. She didn’t want to see it close …
If only she could have danced with Jerry. OK, it would be a hard push to convince the TV producers, who wanted to film real-life couples who danced together, that her lanky gay friend was her partner in life as well as on the dance floor, but they’d escorted each other to weddings and family occasions once or twice in the year since she split with Brandon and at least she’d always had a laugh. It had been so easy.
As easy, whispered a treacherous voice in the back of her mind, as things had once been with Redmond, before he disappeared off to the ends of the earth, with not even a postcard to show for it after that first summer.
She didn’t want to remember, but how could she forget? She could imagine him here now, lacing his dance shoes and stretching out his long, lean legs as he waited to hear her verdict as to whether she’d take part in the show … not that it had ever been in any doubt.
Her mouth opened itself before she was conscious of having made a decision. With a final mental curse for Jerry going and injuring himself just two months before the big day, she told Elaine, with not a trace of the terror she felt, “OK, I’ll do it.”
Elaine whooped.
“If he really wants to,” Lisa added. “And if we still dance OK together.”
It was her last let-out.
“Well, you don’t need to worry about the first. He was the one who suggested it. He’s waiting downstairs, so he can join us for practice tonight. And you’ll be good together. You always were.”
“Hmm.”
That was what Lisa was afraid of.
She picked her sandals up more carefully under Elaine’s watchful gaze, and marched down the stairs, head held high. No way was she going to let anyone see that his return made any difference to her.
Maybe it wouldn’t. Maybe when she saw him again she’d realise that he was, after all, just a man like any other. Maybe then the spell would be broken and she’d be free to settle back to real life again, without the dream nagging at the back of her mind as it had been for the last eight years.
Maybe. She didn’t believe it for a moment. She still remembered the first time he’d appeared at the studio, and the almost physical reaction she’d felt. It wasn’t the first time she’d seen him. They’d been at the same school for ages but in different years. He was a macho football fanatic, while she concentrated on her books and her dancing, so they’d never had much to do with each other. Then she’d walked into the dance studio one wet spring evening, a little early for her class, and found herself pausing in the doorway, her eyes drawn to one young man who looked somehow familiar, though for the moment she couldn’t place him.
He was a little taller than the other boys in the class, dancing the same steps as everyone else but with twice the energy and a smile so bright that the dingy room felt a million times lighter. It was only when a grapevine brought him almost face to face with her that she placed him as the guy she’d admired from afar for so long. She hadn’t expected to find him dancing, but now that he was, it was no surprise to find him doing it stunningly.
Even after the best part of a year as his dancing partner, she’d still been awed by his energy and excitement. A little of it had seemed to rub off on her, too, so that she smiled a little more widely, spun a little more swiftly, and stepped a little more gracefully than she would otherwise have done.
She wondered, as she stepped off the last stair and prepared herself to face Redmond again, whether the magic would still be there. Then she wondered whether she hoped it would, or feared it.
“You can do it,” Lisa told herself. As she reached for the door of the main practice room, she took a deep breath to steady herself, as she did before stepping out onto the floor for a competition. She was, after all, a performer. Dancing competitively was as much about acting as it was about footwork. She’d pulled off bigger acts than this before.
She straightened her back and flung the door open.
He was leaning against the wall, as tall and lean and languid as she remembered. His dark hair was cropped a little more closely, making him look younger than she’d imagined him, and his skin was nearer to coffee-coloured than it had been when he’d left London.
“Oh, hi,” she said, knowing that she sounded lame and kicking herself for not thinking of a witty opening remark. She forced herself to tear her gaze away and sat down on a bench to buckle on her Latin sandals.
“Hi, yourself. You sound surprised. Didn’t Elaine warn you?”
What kind of warning was ever going to prepare me for this? she wanted to ask.
“She said you were here.” Lisa didn’t add that, in her recollection, “he’s waiting for you downstairs” could mean anything from “he got here twenty minutes early and stormed off in a huff ten minutes ago” to “he rang ten minutes ago to say he was leaving.” Elaine had always had the good sense not to get in the middle of their quarrels. Smart woman.
Redmond straightened and held out a hand to her. “Shall we dance?”
No apology, no pleasantrie
s. Just straight to work. Well, what had she expected? Roses and a red carpet? The most romantic thing he’d ever bought her was a fish and chip supper. Though, come to think of it, eating fish and chips under the stars with him on the promenade outside the Winter Gardens at Bournemouth had been one of those perfectly peaceful moments that had sometimes come back to her with a stab of regret as she’d squabbled with Brandon across a restaurant table someplace in Kensington. Well, you couldn’t have everything, could you? She needed a dance partner, and she wasn’t going to get better than Redmond Carrington, Junior British Open and twice Ten-Dance Champion.
What was he doing here? Outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, traffic queued nose-to-tail up to the traffic lights at the end of the road. A driver honked repeatedly as the Shepherds Bush bus pulled out from the bus stop into his path. On the common, one hardy dogwalker watched his black Labrador chase a crisp packet across the thin, muddy grass. And Redmond had left a comfortable job in Florida for this and the promise of a medal and five minutes of fame? It didn’t stack up.
But she couldn’t think about it forever. He was standing over her, waiting with infinite confidence and patience for her to join him on the dance floor.
Lisa never turned down an opportunity to dance.
She stood up, dropped her fleece onto the bench, and took his hand, willing herself not to notice the way his strong fingers encircled hers, making her feel safe and protected. Whatever his body told her, it was a lie, she told herself. He’d never been anything but trouble, and he never would be. Their partnership was a convenience, nothing more. But his hand on her back, where her low-cut dress gave way to bare flesh, still felt warm and firm and right. And when he shifted his hold, her body still responded, sending soft shivers down her spine.
He pressed the play button on the CD player as he passed, and after a moment’s pause the music began. Even though they were dancing a rapid jive, skipping and spinning and dipping, she still had time to notice how his eyes were fixed on her with almost frightening intensity. That was something she’d forgotten about him. The way he did everything as if his life, or maybe more than that — the fate of the world — depended on it. It was as if time stretched when they were dancing. In between heartbeats he could move his feet in perfect unison with hers, adjust his routine to avoid other couples on the floor and fit around her occasional slips, and still favour her with a long, lazy smile whenever she followed a particularly tricky move.
Finally, just as Lisa was becoming breathless the track began to slow down. Redmond’s effervescent energy softened to an easy swing, and as the music drifted to a halt, he swung her into a slow, languorous drop.
Lisa had never liked drops. She never quite trusted the men who threw her from one hand to the other like a juggling ball or swung her like a limp rag. Spinning, she had always felt in control, but when she was caught and lowered rapidly until her hair brushed the floor, it made her nervous. She did it anyway, of course, because she was a professional, and she never complained. But every time she was lowered to the floor, her knees felt weak and her head whirled with images of the hard tiles flying up to meet her: the crack of bone, the metallic smell of blood, the pain.
Of course, she’d known Redmond would do it sooner or later. Men always did. They liked to show they were in control. Difficult moves are a boast — more to the other men on the dance floor than to the woman in their arms. I can make her do anything I want, they say.
And he could. He always had been able to. She stopped thinking as he drew her closer, spun her around, twisting his arms under and over hers. She didn’t need to think, because her body followed his effortlessly, as it always had. When he pulled her into his arms and leaned her gently towards the floor, she felt like a child being laid down to sleep. It was like coming home.
For a long moment she basked in the feeling, and then the music picked up again — one of those terrible cheating false endings, making her think it was all over when it was just the beginning of a new phase of the medley. Redmond must have known it was coming, because as the pace picked up again, he was right with it, flipping her upright and into a spin and a rapid flick-step which she had to work hard to follow.
He must have seen this, because next time they came face to face, he used the opportunity to look searchingly into her eyes and ask, “Still OK?”
“Fine.” She grinned, wishing she had the breath left for a longer, more positive answer. But the important thing was not to have given in. She wouldn’t be beaten — by the dance, by Redmond’s irrepressible energy, by anything. Anyway, it was true in a sense, she excused herself. She was dancing, and she was following the steps. If they danced like this in the competition, they’d do well. That was all he was asking, all he cared about. He didn’t want to know about her wobbly legs or her pounding heart or the taut feeling in her throat. He didn’t care about her. It was just dancing.
Only it wasn’t just dancing. It never had been. Maybe with Jerry and some of the others it had been something close to “just” dancing. There wasn’t intimacy there, or the wordless communication so perfect that sometimes she thought she was dancing steps before they were led. Somehow she knew that this time, when the music slowed to a real ending, he’d draw her in close to a sway and a lean, and hold her for a long moment as she gazed up into the sky-blue of his eyes …
When he released her, she was unprepared for the briskness of his response.
“Good. The drop wants some work. You’re still fighting it a bit, but I think we’ll get there. How’s your waltz?”
Well, two could play at that game.
“Pretty good,” she said, knowing that he knew she wouldn’t have said as much if it had been anything short of perfect. “How’s yours?”
An unnecessary question. Nothing Redmond ever did was far short of perfect, but if she hadn’t asked, he’d have known she remembered. She didn’t want to do him that courtesy. He didn’t deserve it.
“Want to find out?” He held his hand out, confident of her response, as if no woman had ever refused him a dance. They probably hadn’t. Competent male dancers were rare enough; competent, good-looking, and considerate ones still rarer. And he was, she reluctantly conceded to herself, all of those things. Well, mostly considerate, she amended, remembering his abrupt disappearance all those years ago, and the dismissive way he’d summed up their first dance today. As if it was all her fault and she wouldn’t fight him if she trusted him. Well, she’d have trusted him if he’d been more trustworthy. So it wasn’t her fault.
Why did he always put her on the defensive? She shook her head and followed him to the corner of the room as the intro to the waltz ended. Right on time, he swept her into his arms and slipped into a smooth, graceful stride.
She’d almost forgotten dancing could be like this. Her feet kept time with the music all by themselves, and she felt as light as thistledown floating in the wind. Now that it was dark, the windows reflected, and overlaid on the London night she could watch the ghostly image of a stunning couple drifting in perfect synchronisation along one side of the floor. In her heeled dance shoes, she came just above his shoulder, and her long brown hair tumbled in waves down to where his strong hand rested on her back, guiding her. The couple hung in a hover for just long enough to allow her to admire the effect, and then took off again, weaving and spinning their way into the centre of the floor. It was a variant of a waltz routine they’d put together for a show shortly before Redmond left. You couldn’t have danced it in a competition — too much risk of collision as it took a sweeping path right through everyone else’s routines. Not that Redmond cared much what other people were doing. He’d dance around them when he could, and through them when he had to. But this was too much even for him. So it was nice to dance it again, on a wide-open floor with nobody else around to dodge.
Lisa was conscious that her eyes were getting that dreamy expression they did when every
thing came together perfectly. It didn’t happen often. She could count the number of times it had happened since Redmond left on the fingers of one hand. Hell, on one finger. It didn’t happen dancing any more. She’d been starting to wonder if it ever had, or if it had been a daydream cooked up by her adolescent mind. The only feeling to compare was when one of her friends had brought her new baby home from the hospital, and Lisa looked down at the tiny, peaceful sleeping face and thought that the world seemed like a wonderful place to be.
She didn’t know if Redmond could see the smile creeping across her lips, and she didn’t want to find out. She snapped her lips back to the expressionless line she’d chosen to adopt with him, and set about making conversation.
“You seem to remember all our routines pretty well.”
It had sounded innocuous enough when she’d thought of it, but now she regretted admitting she’d recognised the steps as the ones they used to dance together.
Redmond’s lips curled in a smile that was broader and cheekier than she remembered.
“You remember the routines? Maybe I’m making it too easy for you,” he suggested, in a mock-innocent voice she remembered only too well. “Let’s see what we can do about that.”
And then he spun off into a series of pivots that left her even more breathless, followed by some complicated footwork that she’d never danced before and suspected she’d never recognise if he were to dance it again. That, in turn, swept into a kind of sway. She leaned into it gracefully, but without the first idea what he was trying to achieve.
“Raise your left leg and lean in. That’s it. A bit further. Good, but don’t let your topline go.”
She strained to keep her head in the correct position, feeling awkward and off balance. She hated being told what to do, but couldn’t fight it because she suspected that, if she didn’t feel so awkward, the new step would be a great addition to their routine. Damn the man for always being so … well … right!
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