She tucked her feet up underneath her on the couch. “Sorry,” she apologised.
“What for?”
“Not leaving you anywhere to sit.”
“I’m fine here.”
Lisa laughed. He’d obviously taken her reaction to heart and was now keeping his distance.
“It’s OK. I don’t bite and now I’m awake I don’t expect you to either. Come and sit here.”
He did so.
“Thanks.”
“For?”
“Looking after me. The tea. Turning up.”
“No problem. I’m glad I’m here.”
“So am I.”
Redmond looked stunned.
“What’s so surprising about that?” she demanded.
“You’ve been acting so stroppy since I came back, I thought you hated me.”
“So why did you think I was dancing with you?”
“Because Elaine and Mark twisted your arm, of course. They knew I wanted to dance with you, and the publicity would do the studio good.”
Redmond looked as if he was about to add something, but thought better of it. Lisa almost asked what, but her mind had snagged on one part of his remark and stuck there.
“Whoa, hang on. You really wanted to dance with me?”
“Of course.”
“Not of course,” Lisa echoed back. “Obviously I wanted to dance with you — you’re miles better than any of the guys here — but I didn’t think you’d be bothered after all the good partners you must have had in America.”
“Yes, America’s so full of unique, lovely girls, that’s why I came back to find you.”
“You came back … ” Lisa’s mouth refused to even shape the words. It was all too bizarre. “Elaine said you came back on business.”
“Personal business, I think was the phrase she used.”
Lisa thought back to her conversation with Elaine and nodded slowly. Perhaps it had been. “Something equally vague, anyway,” Lisa conceded. “What on earth did she mean by it?”
“She didn’t know. I wasn’t going to say anything until I saw how the land lay. I’d been hearing rumours about you and Jerry, and I knew I wasn’t exactly in your good books after scarpering so suddenly. So this competition looked like the ideal way to test the water.”
“Me and Jerry?” The whole conversation was so odd, Lisa didn’t know what to latch onto first, but out of it all that was perhaps the thing that surprised her most. Sure, she and Jerry didn’t exactly fight the rumours — it kept guys off her back and his parents off his — but how in the world had that got back to Redmond?
Redmond nodded, grinning. “Of course, as soon as I saw him it was obvious he’s ragingly gay. That was when I started to think I might be in with a chance.”
“And what do you think now?” Lisa was still struggling to keep up with the workings of his mind.
“I don’t know. What should I think?”
Lisa shook her head, bemused. She didn’t know what to say. In fact, she wasn’t even sure what he was asking.
“I don’t know,” she mirrored. “I’m confused.”
“You and me both, babe,” Redmond drawled in an exaggerated American accent. “Are you going to tell me what was up with you tonight? You looked happy enough to come out with me after filming, and then we got to the restaurant and suddenly you started on me as if I’d committed some mortal sin. And for what? Keeping you out of trouble in the studio and ordering some drinks. So I don’t want to get caught up in fighting with that overgrown toddler, and I wanted to impress you at the restaurant. Is that so bad?”
Lisa frowned. She couldn’t explain that what made it so difficult was the ease with which he took control.
“Jesus, girl,” Redmond went on impassionedly, losing the last trace of Americanism, “you don’t half make it difficult for me. I’ve put a good job in America on hold to come back and partner you, and I’ve turned up to every practice and danced my heart out. I’ve done my damndest not to pressure you into anything even though you’re even more stunning now than when I left, and that’s saying something. And I turned up here tonight to make sure you were OK even after your performance in the restaurant. So, please, if I’ve done something wrong, could you at least tell me what it is? Because the way I see it, I’ve done everything possible to convince you I care about you. Am I wrong?”
Lisa stared. He sounded as if he meant it.
“You care? That’s not how it looked from this end when you walked off into the sunset and vanished for years on end. Do you have any idea how much that hurt? And then when I suggested that we could give it a go, being together, you came back with some feeble put-down about not rushing into anything. So excuse me if I find it a little hard to take you seriously when you waltz back into my life with a cute smile and some flattering words and expect me to fall at your feet just so you can trample on me again.”
“So I made a mistake. I’m here now, saying I’m sorry and I won’t do it again. What can I do to persuade you? Or are you determined to keep punishing me for one mistake for the rest of our lives?”
Suddenly Lisa didn’t know what to say or where to look. In a few breaths they’d gone from arguing over his reaction to Tiffany’s antics to talking about the rest of their lives. She seemed to have been longing for this moment forever, and yet it was so utterly unlike how she’d imagined it … if she’d ever dared to imagine it at all. Come to think of it, she wasn’t sure she had. What would she have put her money on? Romantic declarations? Redmond wasn’t the wordy type. She’d imagined he’d do something to show his feelings, but then, hadn’t he already done that, day after day, going out of his way to make sure she was taken care of, even following her home after she’d stormed out on him?
She shook her head wonderingly.
It had been there all along, and she’d just never seen it.
Chapter 8
“Lisa?” Redmond leaned towards her with an enquiring look.
She stared back, refusing to give anything away too easily. For all these years, she’d been convinced she meant nothing to him, and now he turned around and told her that the exact opposite was true. OK, so it was true he was treating her differently. He was kinder, gentler and more caring, but at the end of the day he had to be the same old Redmond. He might be asking her to reinterpret the past, but he still wasn’t making any promises. Not that she’d ask him to. Not yet, anyway. Better to take things a step at a time.
“OK, say I’m persuaded.” She let herself smile at him, showing a hint of the excitement that was bubbling up at the thought that he might really mean it. “What happens now?”
“Well, I would say we go out and shout it from the rooftops, but we’ve already told everyone anyway. Trust us to do everything backwards.”
Redmond laughed his joyous, infectious laugh and threw an affectionate arm around her shoulders. Lisa leaned into his embrace, sharing in the laughter. She’d expected the world suddenly to feel different, but if anything things seemed to feel more normal than they had for some time. The easy camaraderie she’d shared with Redmond before he left was back, and it felt perfectly natural to snuggle closer into his chest and rest her hand on his warm, firm thigh.
The only problem was, it felt so good she couldn’t quite believe it was happening.
“Is this for real?” The words had slipped out before she’d realised she’d spoken.
“Real?” Redmond pulled back until he could look her in the eye again. “Does this feel real to you?”
Once again, his lips were on hers, but this time he held nothing back. His warm tongue teased her mouth into opening for him, tasting his warmth and the slight tang of alcohol on his breath. It felt real, and wonderful. Lisa let herself feel that, yes, it was real. His warm hands on her shoulders. His lips on hers. It was all so
real, so perfect, that she hardly dared to let herself breathe, in case she spoiled the moment. Finally he pulled back, just far enough to let her see the desire in his blue eyes. And she believed in that. But, after all this time, how could she be certain it was enough?
“Redmond?” When her breath returned, she forced herself to ask, one final time. “Are you sure this isn’t just because of the show?”
“Lisa, look at me.” The stern schoolteacher voice was at odds with the way he sprawled casually on the sofa, keeping his arm around her. His face was serious, but there was just the tiniest hint of amusement in his voice as he continued. “I’ve loved you more or less from the moment I saw you. I know I haven’t always picked the best way of showing it, but believe me, everything I’ve done, no matter how stupid, was always done with the best intention of making you happy. I only took the job in America because I knew there was no way I’d have made that kind of money over here, with the experience I had at the time. I always meant to come back, it just took me a bit longer than I intended, and that was a mistake, but I’m doing my best to make up for it. If there’s anything more I can do to make you happy, you have only to say.”
“Anything?” Lisa said in a small voice, wondering if she dared ask the one thing that would make a difference. She didn’t want him to go back to America. Not now. Not next week. Not next year. Not ever. At that moment, if she could have kept him beside her forever, with his strong arm around her shoulders, she would have done it.
But could she do that to him? He had a life there. She’d followed the gossip long enough to know how successful he was — and let’s face it, he had to be successful to be enough of a talking point for news of his life to travel halfway round the world to her.
No, she couldn’t ask him to leave it all for her. If he did so, it had to be his own choice. Perhaps she could make him want to stay, but that was something that would come in time. For now, it was enough to have him here, making her feel wanted and cared for in a way that no one else had.
Which gave her an idea. His comment seemed to demand an answer, but she wasn’t quite ready to give a serious one. She didn’t want to know how far his new devotion extended. But she did want something: one perfect evening being protected and loved. Starting with erasing all memory of the horrible start to the evening, that had turned out to be such a blessing in disguise.
“There’s one thing you can do. Run me a bath. With lots of bubbles.”
He looked at her quizzically. “Are you sure? You wouldn’t rather ask for a diamond ring or a limousine?”
“I don’t wear jewellery and there’s not enough parking space around here for limos. I just want to relax, give my ankle a soak, and get the feel of those horrible grubby hands off me.”
“Of course.”
Redmond sprang to attention and was gone.
Her shoulders felt cold and bare where his arm had been. For a moment she regretted saying anything that made him move, even for a minute or two. She didn’t want to end the perfect moment in case something spoiled it. What if she, or he, had a chance to think and realised they’d made a mistake? What if they spoiled their friendship? Although she had to admit that at the moment it didn’t feel as if that would be a consequence of their move from friends to … what?
Lisa was still pondering the thorny question when he returned. Could she class Redmond as her boyfriend? Despite her insistence to Tim and everyone else on the show that Red was her boyfriend, she found the term slightly absurd. There was nothing at all of “boy” about Redmond’s rugged physique, much less his formidable intellect and personality? Should it be her lover? Considering they’d had more physical contact in some of their dances than they had that evening, the term didn’t seem any more appropriate.
“Madam’s bath awaits,” Redmond interrupted her thoughts, striking a casual but effective pose in the doorway as he performed his impression of an obsequious servant.
“Stop it,” Lisa instructed him, only half seriously. “You’ll make me feel guilty. You did ask.”
“I know. I told you — anything for you. Are you sure that’s all I can do? You wouldn’t like me to come and undress you too?”
Lisa found her heart beating faster at the thought. She wasn’t used to the new, openly flirtatious Redmond, and she didn’t know how to respond.
Redmond sensed her discomfort and immediately backtracked. “Joke, sweetheart. I know the last thing you want at the moment is any man’s grubby mitts on you. I’ll stay out of your way, but shout if you need anything.”
“Thank you,” Lisa said, and fled for the bathroom before she could change her mind. She knew he was doing the right thing. They’d waited this long. They could wait a little longer, until her mind was free of unpleasant thoughts about the evening’s experiences.
Still, it was strange, undressing in the privacy of her own home, yet knowing that just a thin wall separated her from Redmond. She heard the distinctive creak of the sofa’s old springs as he settled down, then a muted mumbling of voices indicated that he had turned on the television. She was grateful for that — she’d felt self-conscious about him sitting there listening to her moving about. Now she was free to lie back and swoosh the water gently around her, watching miniature tides moving the bubbles up and down.
She assessed her body critically. With all the dancing, and the haste causing her to skip meals, she was slimmer than she’d ever been. Mostly, she liked that, although she was also perhaps a shade flatter-chested than she had been, and that she didn’t like. Looking down at her small, neat breasts, she found herself assailed again by the memory of the taxi driver’s dark, hungry hands. She shuddered and ran her own hands across her skin, willing herself to remember how a touch could be pleasant instead of intrusive.
She tried to imagine Redmond’s hands on her bare skin. How would she feel if he touched her now? Her mind was still uncertain, but her body responded, enjoying the imagined caresses, the desire she read in his eyes. She’d seen it before, she realised now, in odd moments on the dance floor, when she appeared in front of him in a particularly enticing outfit, or in their conspiratorial moments when she leaned in to whisper some cheeky remark not intended for the rest of the world. She’d just never seen it for what it was, and now that she did, the world suddenly seemed like an entirely different place.
She’d never really wanted anyone else, but somehow she’d assumed that her lack of interest in all the men who passed through the studio meant that she was somehow above that kind of thing. Now she realised how wrong she’d been. Her body was capable of a level of desire she’d never even imagined, and the strange new feeling shook her, leaving her feeling weak and uncertain. She wanted Redmond’s hands on her skin, his lips on hers, his body against her, and yet the thought frightened her. She knew a word from her would bring him running, yet her lips remained firmly closed.
It was just too much, too soon for her to adjust to. This new turn of events had forced her to reassess everything she’d thought she’d known. Facts and interpretations shuffled themselves into new arrangements, memories changed their hue viewed through a different understanding of the world. She suspected that what she really wanted to wash off was not the taxi driver’s grubbiness, but the confusion and uncertainty that surrounded her thinking about Redmond, their past, and their future.
It had seemed so much simpler with his arms around her.
With that thought, she lost interest in languishing in the now-tepid water. She pulled the plug out, stood up, and wrapped herself in the towel that Redmond had left warming on the radiator for her.
As she walked to her bedroom, she had a sudden vision of running into him in the hall. Towels weren’t the most reliable covering in the world, and she could imagine it slipping into a damp heap on the floor and leaving her exposed to his gaze. And his touch.
She could imagine how he’d crush her in his arms
, how his hands would roam freely over her body in the way that their suggestive dance routines had implied for so long. Her body responded to the sensations as if they were real, and suddenly she was tired of being shy and restrained. She pulled her most seductive negligee from the dresser drawer, slipped it on, and returned to the lounge before her nerve could desert her.
The television was on, but Redmond was stretched out on the sofa with his eyes closed.
She flicked the television off.
“I was watching that.”
“Really? I thought you were asleep.”
“I woke up.”
“Oh, really? I thought maybe you were talking in your sleep. It’s not all that easy to tell.”
Just two steps brought him to her side, where he caught her hands and pinned them neatly in front of her.
“I think you meant to say something different. Am I right?” His threatening tone was defused by the suppressed laughter shaking his body.
“I don’t think so. I thought I made myself quite clear.”
“Really? How unfortunate.” She wasn’t sure quite how he managed it, but suddenly she was sprawling back on the sofa, with Redmond kneeling over her, urging, “Submit!”
“Never!” she insisted, twisting one wrist free from his grip. That proved to be a mistake, as far as winning the fight went, because it enabled him to pin the free hand above her head so that she was stretched out helplessly beneath him. Not that she minded. She quite enjoyed lying back and looking up at his broad shoulders and smiling face. Her wrist, encircled in his strong grasp, felt slim and fragile.
“Ha ha,” Redmond gave a mock maniacal cackle. “Now you are in my power.”
Lisa laughed. “I think you need to practise the evil laugh a bit more,” she remarked casually.
Redmond’s response was to stretch her arm a little further above her head, while pinning her legs down with one of his own.
“Ve haff vays of mekking you talk,” he intoned.
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