“You’re my hero, Logan Greenwood!” He said in a high-pitched voice, mimicking the character Cameron from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, before continuing his silly walk towards Corbin.
Logan watched the goofy, drunken performance of the freshman with fascination, equally aghast at the spectacle and jealous of the nonconformist attitude of his new friend
A half-hour later, Brandon and Corbin stood at the end of the make-shift beer pong table, losing to a pair of football players. Corbin teetered on the brink of passing out, while Brandon threw his arms up in victory as he landed the ping-pong ball into one of the cups at the end of the table.
“Take that, pussy!” Brandon yelled at the three-hundred-pound football player at the opposite end of the table.
The big guy’s face turned red. “What did you call me, you fucking little twerp?”
“I called you a pussy!” Brandon bowed up, put his hands on his hips, and repeated the insult. “Pussy!”
“I’ll kick your fucking ass!” The guy pointed at Brandon, his face contorted in anger.
“Bring it on jackass! I’m not afraid of you.” Brandon taunted.
“Right!” The big guy threw his ping-pong ball down in a rage. It bounced off the table and hit the ceiling as the beast stomped towards Brandon.
The music stopped, and the crowd quieted down. The sound of muffled voices filled the room. Outside, Logan watched as people began running towards the house yelling ‘fight.’ Joining them, he barreled towards the patio door. Cam came running from a bedroom upstairs, struggling to fasten his jeans.
“Come on, motherfucker!” Brandon motioned with his hands. “I’m not afraid of you!”
“Oh, shit!” Cam panicked as he spotted Brandon about to get stomped.
He ran down the stairs, joining Logan, who had just entered.
Standing a few feet from the beer pong table, Brandon moved back, causing Corbin, who was leaning on him for support, to fall to the floor. Brandon looked down at his friend before looking up to the six-foot-two football player lumbering his way. He put his hands up in a defensive position, ready to fight, when he felt hands on his shoulders pulling on him. Cam jumped in front of him, acting as a shield.
“Wait, Stack.” Cam put his hands up mere inches from him. “Let’s talk about this.”
“Get out of the way.” The muscle-bound freak yelled.
‘Stack. Buddy.” Cam patted him on the chest. “Look at him. He’s a kid.” He turned towards Brandon. Stack glanced at Brandon, who stood defiant.
“A kid with a big fucking mouth.” Stack glared at Brandon. “One that’s about to not have any teeth.”
“Wait, Stack. What would coach say if he found out you hurt his favorite freshman player?” Cam tried to reason with him.
The overgrown oaf stared Cam in the eyes for a moment before looking towards Brandon.
“He’s harmless, man.” Cam tried to reassure him. “Is he worth getting kicked off the team?”
The burly eighteen-year-old stood silent for several seconds before finally backing away.
Cam let out a sigh of relief. “Thanks, man.”
“Yeah!" Brandon yelled and pointed towards Stack. “Yeah! You better—"
Logan clamped his hand over Brandon’s mouth and smiled at the big guy. The crowd began to disperse as the music began playing again.
A very pissed Cam walked up to Brandon. “Are you fucking insane? Do you have a death wish?”
“I wasrreeerg gonnnnaaa…” Brandon tried to speak, but his eyes rolled towards the back of his head as he started to fall. Logan grabbed him under the arms just before he passed out.
“Uncle Tommy’s going to kill him.” Cam looked at Brandon. “Then he’s going to kill me for letting him get wasted. Where’s that Corbin kid?”
Logan pointed to Corbin lying next to the couch passed out.
“Freshman idiots!” Cam cursed.
“It was their first party, man.” Logan shrugged.
“Still. Uncle Tommy is going to be pissed!”
“Where were you, dude?” Logan asked.
Cam hesitated for a moment and looked towards the top of the stairs where a petite girl with long red hair stood. Logan glanced up at the girl who was known as ‘Pussy Wagon Penny’ because everyone got a ride.
“Penelope Crosley? Seriously, dude?”
“I was horny.” Cam shrugged and looked back at Corbin. “You take Chan, and I’ll get Corbin.”
Logan nodded.
As Logan pulled his truck into Tommy’s driveway, Brandon began to stir.
“Where are we?” Brandon said as his head spun, his eyes trying to focus.
“Home,” Cam answered.
“Oh, God.” Brandon’s eyes opened wide as he put his hand over his mouth. “I’m gonna be sick!”
“Not in my truck!” Logan yelled as he shoved open his door, allowing Brandon to kick his open. Brandon leaned his head out and spewed all over the concrete.
“Aww. Fuck!” Logan jumped out as the smell began to waft through the cab. Cam did the same while Corbin peacefully slept.
Brandon wiped his mouth with his hand and looked at Logan pitifully.
“Let’s get ‘em in the house.” Cam opened the rear passenger door to wake Corbin. He began shaking him to no avail. “Wake up, you stupid kid.”
“Hey!” Brandon turned his head and shouted at his son. “Don’t call him stupid!”
“You’re both stupid.” Cam looked Brandon in the eye as Corbin began to moan.
Brandon turned and slid out of the truck, trying to avoid stepping in his vomit.
“Oh, God.” He put his hand over his mouth as the smell hit his nostrils again, causing him to bend over and heave again.
Logan waited until Brandon finished before offering him help to the house while Cam pulled Corbin from the vehicle, threw him over his shoulder in a fireman’s hold, and hauled him up the driveway. Logan rang the doorbell and waited. It took a few moments for the knob to turn and the door to open. On the other side stood a very surprised Tommy. It took a moment for Tommy to take in the sight of Logan propping up a very drunk Brandon and a sleeping Corbin draped over Cam’s shoulder like a large sack of flour.
“What the hell?” He grumbled.
Corbin began to stir, and Cam dropped him from his shoulder and propped him up. Immediately, Corbin bent over and started blowing chunks. Everyone tried to jump out of the way, but were too late as the splatter covered their shoes.
“Fuck!” Cam yelled as he looked down.
A red-faced Tommy looked at Brandon then up at Logan and Cam. “Get them in here.”
Once inside, Tommy glared at a very green Brandon.
Brandon looked back with an apologetic face. “Oh, God! I’m gonna throw—”
He put his hand over his mouth and shot down the hall.
Tommy’s mouth dropped as he looked at Cam. “What the hell happened?”
Corbin, who was leaning against Cam, had fallen asleep once again. Cam glanced down at him
Tommy saw Corbin’s current state and looked to Logan. “Would you take Corbin to Channing’s room and get him in bed? It’s down the hall, last on the left.”
“Yes, sir,” Logan answered as he maneuvered his arms under Corbin’s and led him down the hall.
Tommy once again turned to Cam for answers. “Obviously, those two idiots got wasted, you want to tell me what happened?”
Cam stuttered for a moment. “I don’t know, Uncle Tommy. Logan and I went off on our own, and when I next saw Channing, he was trying to pick a fight with Zach ‘The Stack’ Parkin, our three-hundred-pound linebacker.”
“Fucking hell.” Tommy was reminded of Brandon’s habit of picking fights when intoxicated.
Apparently, he was still just as dumb.
“I’m sorry, Uncle Tommy.” Cam hung his head. “I should have been watching them. I thought I could trust Channing when he told me he would look out for Corbin.”
“I thought I could too.”
Tommy shook his head. “Obviously, we were both wrong.”
“I knew they were too young for this party. It was supposed to be just upperclassmen. I told Logan he shouldn’t have invited them.”
Tommy thought for a moment then sighed. “It’s not your fault, Cam. I just thought Channing was more responsible than this.”
About that time, Logan came back into the room.
“They okay?” Tommy asked.
“Yeah, I got them both in the bed. They’re asleep.” He looked to Cam to see if Tommy had raked him over the coals.
“Thanks,” Tommy said. “Logan, right?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Thanks for getting them home, guys. I’ll take care of it.”
“Sure, Mr. Burkhart,” Logan said. “And I’m sorry for inviting them, but they kinda invited themselves.”
“I’m sure they did.” Tommy shook his head.
There was a brief pause before Cam gave Logan a small nod, indicating they needed to go.
“Well, we better go, sir.” Logan took the hint.
“Okay, guys,” Tommy said as he walked them to the door. “Thanks again.”
After Tommy closed the door, Cam turned to his best friend.
“I’d hate to be in Chan’s shoes in the morning. I’ve never seen Uncle Tommy so mad. He’s usually an easy-going guy.” Cam thought about all the years he’d known his dad’s goofball best friend, and how he never let things get him riled.
“Poor Chan.” Logan sighed.
Cam gave him an odd look before they got in the truck and left.
The next morning, Brandon slowly opened one eye, his head pounding as if an entire marching band had taken up residence between his ears. He lifted his hand to his temple and moaned. Memories of the previous night came flooding back in brief glimpses as he recalled dancing, multiple cups of beer, smoking weed with Corbin and a girl named Maddie in a bedroom, and finally picking a fight with a linebacker.
“Oh, God.” He looked down at himself and noticed someone had stripped him down to his underwear and placed him in bed.
He glanced to his right to find Corbin sleeping soundly beside him. Nausea swept over him, as he quickly jumped up and ran to the restroom, making it just in time. After what felt like an eternity of heaving up his guts, Brandon wandered into the kitchen to find Tommy and Kathy sitting down to breakfast. Tommy looked up from his toast and coffee to level Brandon with a death glare that would have made Darth Vadar jump. Noticing her husband’s attention had been drawn away from the meal, Kathy’s eyes landed on Brandon.
“Good morning.” She said in a not so friendly manner. “Do you want coffee?”
“Yes. Please.” Brandon whispered as he walked to the table, pulled out a chair, and sat down.
Tommy ignored him. A few moments later, Kathy sat a cup of black coffee in front of Brandon. He picked it up and took a cautious sip.
“Thank You.” He said softly.
Finally, Tommy broke the silence.
“Had fun last night, I see,” Tommy asked in a tone he rarely used when interacting with his best friend.
“Yeah,” Brandon whispered as he placed his palm on his forehead and his elbow on the table.
“Well. Good for you.” Tommy snapped and went silent again.
Brandon recognized the tone and stared at him with a questioning look as Tommy took a bite of toast.
“What’s wrong?” Brandon asked stupidly.
Tommy shook his head and glared at him. “Do you really need to ask that?”
He threw his toast down on his plate.
“Yeah. I know. I let things get a little out of hand last night.” Brandon sat his coffee down.
“A little out of hand?” Tommy raised his voice, causing Brandon to squint his eyes.
“Please, Tom.” He whispered. “Not so loud.”
Brandon’s response only angered Tommy further.
“You were supposed to be keeping an eye on Corbin and be the adult, but what do you go and do? You not only let him get fucking wasted, but you also got wasted with him.” He yelled.
“Please don’t yell, Tom.” Brandon closed his eyes and lowered his head. “We were just having a little fun.”
“A little fun?” Tommy yelled. “He’s fourteen-years-old, Brandon! What if he had gotten hurt? Do you realize the kind of trouble I could be in if his parents found out I knowingly let him go to a party where alcohol was being served? That goes for you as well! Picking fights with guys three times your size? Fuck, Brand. I like to have fun as much as anyone else, but you have to show some restraint, especially in situations like this. I trusted you, buddy, and you let me down big time! What the hell were you thinking?”
Brandon hesitated, but then finally answered with the only thing that came into his mind. “I don’t know.” He shrugged.
“I don’t know. Now, that’s classic!” Tommy scoffed.
Kathy finally spoke. “Brandon. What you did was reckless and irresponsible. Do you know how many teens die a year from alcohol poisoning? In case you didn’t know, passing out means you overdosed on alcohol. Your young body can’t handle it like your adult body could. You showed very poor lack of judgment, and I’m very disappointed in you.”
Brandon looked up at Kathy. Her words cut deep since she was the woman who had treated him almost as a son since the regression.
“I’m sorry, Kathy. I promise it will never happen again.” He shook his head.
“A promise is not enough.” Tommy struggled to say the next words but still managed to do it with confidence. “You’re grounded.”
“Excuse me?” Brandon raised his eyebrows.
“You heard me. You’re grounded. Two weeks straight home after football practice. We will allow you to mow your lawns, but you will go nowhere else.” Tommy stated firmly.
Brandon gave him an angry look before he realized they had to be joking. He started chuckling. “Good one, guys.”
Tommy’s and Kathy’s expressions did not change.
“We’re not joking, Brandon,” Kathy said.
“What?” Brandon’s face twisted up in anger. “You can’t ground me! I’m an adult!”
“The hell you are!” Tommy screamed, causing Brandon to cover his ears.
“You’re not my parents!” Brandon stood up. “You can’t tell me what to do.”
Tommy refused to back down. “Kathy and I are your guardians. If you think you can make it on your own with no identity and no money—leave! Kathy or I can’t stop you. But if you’re going to live under our roof, you’re going to obey our rules.”
Brandon looked at the angry expressions on both Kathy’s and Tommy’s face, seeing they were a united front.
“You guys can’t be serious?” He gasped.
“We’re serious, Brandon. What you did was both reckless and dangerous, and there have to be consequences for your actions.” Kathy said.
Brandon stewed for a few moments. Tommy was right, he legally did not exist as an adult.
“This is fucking ridiculous!” He screamed. “I’m not a…”
“Kid? Is that what you were going to say?” Tommy lifted his eyebrows. “Because the way I see it, you wanted to be a kid again, and if you’re going to act like a stupid one, we’re going to treat you like a stupid one.”
Brandon eyed them both before popping out of his chair and angrily shoving it into the table. He turned and stomped out of the room. A few seconds later, Tommy and Kathy heard the bedroom door slam.
Tommy turned to Kathy. “That was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. He’s my best friend. I felt like his father, and I detest that man.”
Kathy reached over and patted her husband’s hand. “It’s all we could have done. Whether he realizes it or not, he’s not thinking like an adult anymore. He’s got to learn to control his impulses, and it’s our responsibility to help him.”
“I know, but I feel like it’s going to change our entire relationship.” Tommy frowned.
�
�Babe, I hate to tell you this, but it’s already changing.”
“What do you mean?” He looked at his wife.
“He’s got a whole new life, and he’s going to make new friends. Haven’t you noticed how he and Corbin act around one other?”
Tommy thought for a moment, and then it hit him. “I’m being replaced, aren’t I?”
“No, babe. You’re not being replaced. You just need to embrace your new role and be the father figure he’s needed in his life.”
“Me a father? To Brandon? That’s crazy.” He dismissed her.
“Whether you realize it or not, you are. Just like I’m his mother.” She smiled.
“That’s just weird, Kath.” The thought of being his life-long best friend’s father figure blew his mind. But then again, Brandon’s birth father ruined his previous life, and he could certainly do a damn sight better. “I’ve noticed how you spoil him.”
“I do.” She paused and looked at him, thoughtfully. “Brandon got his dream, and in a way, I got mine too.”
She glanced at her husband warmly as she thought how giving up those extra twenty years was worth it to be a mother, even if it was to a reckless teenager.
“There is one thing Brandon said that I agree with, whether I like it or not.” Tommy leaned forward so that his forehead touched his wife’s. “I’m so thankful that an amazing woman took a chance in marrying a huge goofball.”
“It paid off,” Kathy responded. “I love you, goofball.”
Their lips met.
“I love you, too, amazing woman,” Tommy replied when they parted once more.
Brandon stormed through the door of his bedroom and slammed it behind him, rousing Corbin from his peaceful slumber.
“Dude! The noise!” Corbin grumbled and grabbed his head before turning over to face Brandon.
“I don’t believe those two.” Brandon pointed towards the kitchen and started pacing.
“What?” Corbin sat up, his queasiness increasing as he watched Brandon move to and fro.
“They grounded me!” His voice cracked.
“They what?” Corbin’s did the same.
“Grounded me! They told me I acted like a stupid kid, and if I’m going to act like a stupid kid, they’re going to treat me like one! Can you believe that shit?” Brandon shouted.
American Dreamer Page 15