American Dreamer

by Shawn Wesley Ballenger

  By the time they reached the movie theater parking lot, the rain had finally stopped. Logan lucked out and found an empty spot close to the front of the theatre.

  “At least we won’t get soaked,” Logan said as he bent over the steering wheel and looked towards the sky.

  “Thank goodness.” Channing unbuckled his seatbelt.

  “You ready?” Logan put his hand on the door handle.

  “Yep.” Channing smiled before opening the door.

  Walking towards the ticket counter, Channing glanced at Logan, wanting so badly to hold his hand, but he knew it was out of the question since Logan wasn’t out.

  “I’ll get our tickets if you just want to wait here.” Logan stopped about twenty feet from the ticket booth after observing the very long line.

  “I don’t mind paying for my own.” Channing offered.

  “I asked you out, remember?” Logan grinned. “I’m paying.”

  Channing realized this was another first. For the first time in his life, he wasn’t the one paying for everything on a date. Even when he and Marcia were dating, she always believed that it was the man’s responsibility to pay on a date.

  “Cool. I’m going to have a smoke if you don’t mind?” Channing reached into his left jeans pocket to retrieve his cigarettes.

  Logan had been around when Channing had smoked before, but they had only been friends then. Now things were different, and Channing wasn’t sure if smoking was okay.

  “Nah, it’s cool.” Logan strode off to the end of the long line.

  Channing pulled out his small tin of cigarettes, having learned that paper packs and tight jeans did not go together. Having nicked the tin and three cartons from his old house, he had hidden them in Tommy's storage shed behind the boxes of Christmas ornaments. Pulling the lighter from his right pocket, he lit up. After taking his first puff, he heard the sound of hard boots on concrete, and they were getting louder. He turned his attention to the balding, overweight security guard in a black uniform and boots strutting towards him. The man stopped a few feet in front of him and cleared his throat.

  “Son, how old are you?”

  Channing looked up at the red-faced pompous idiot, noting the words ‘Astoria Security Co.’ embroidered on the Rent-A-Cop’s upper right sleeve.

  “Fourteen.” Channing took a deep drag. “And I’m not your son, by the way.” His voice showing his contempt, smoke billowing from his lungs as he spoke.

  “Do your parents know you smoke?” The man nodded down towards Channing’s right hand.

  “Nope.” Channing flicked the ashes.

  “It’s illegal for a kid your age to smoke.” The Rent-A-Cop put his hands on his hips and stood up straight in an attempt to display authority

  “Nope.” Channing shook his head. “It’s illegal for me to buy cigarettes, but not to smoke them.”

  “Regardless, you need to put it out.” The guard ordered.

  “I am perfectly within my rights to smoke beyond twenty feet of this building,” Channing pointed to the sign near the door and took another puff.

  “Put it out.” The guard narrowed his eyes, causing Channing’s temperature to rise.

  “Look, asshole,” Channing had enough. “Go play cop somewhere else and leave me alone.” He blew smoke directly into the guard’s face.

  “You little shit.” The guard coughed and grabbed for him with his grubby fat hand.

  At the ticket booth, Logan watched as the young couple in front of him collected their tickets from the bowl beneath the Plexiglas and strolled away. He stepped forward and leaned against the ticket counter, making eye contact with the skinny college-age nerd wearing a red uniform and goofy hat.

  “Two for Demonhouse.” Logan glanced at the employee’s plastic nametag that read ‘Chad.’

  “I’ll need to see some I.D.” The dude’s voice echoed through the microphone.

  Logan pulled his wallet from his back pocket, opened it, and showed him his driver’s license.

  “Please take it out, sir,” Chad demanded.

  Logan rolled his eyes, getting more irritated by the moment. He pulled his license from his wallet and threw it in the bowl, and gave the clerk a dirty look. Chad grabbed it with his skeletal fingers, examined it, and nodded.

  “I’ll need to see the I.D. of the person the second ticket is for.” He pushed Logan’s license back through the opening again and gave him a snotty look.

  “Damn, dude. Give me a break here. We’re about to miss the previews.” Logan turned his head and glanced at Channing, who looked as if he was arguing with a security guard. He then turned his attention back to the window.

  “I’m required to check the ID of all customers,” Chad stated in a tone that made Logan want to punch him.

  “You didn’t their I.D.s.” Logan pointed towards the college-age couple that had just gone through the doors of the theater.

  “Well, it’s obvious they were over 17.” He smirked.

  Logan motioned for the clerk to come closer to the window. The clerk reluctantly leaned forward and pursed his lips.

  “Look, dude.” He pointed at Channing. “I’m on a date with my boyfriend over there. There’s an extra twenty in it for you if you’ll give me the ticket.”

  Although he and Channing were far from the ‘boyfriend’ stage of their relationship, Logan thought the term might gain sympathy from the four-eyed douchebag. The clerk turned back to Logan and smirked.

  “Couldn’t find a guy your own age?”

  Logan’s face contorted in anger. “I'm gonna stomp your ass, you little pencil-dicked fuck!” He yelled and started searching for the entrance to the booth.

  The clerk pressed the button on his earpiece. “I have a situation at the ticket booth.”

  The voice echoed from the guard’s walkie-talkie as Logan tried to pull open the door on the right side of the glass enclosure. The guard let go of Channing and sprinted towards the theater as patrons stared at the disturbance taking place at the front of the line. Channing quickly stomped out his smoke and ran after him.

  After a call to the local police, a talk with the theater manager, and several witness stories later, Channing and Logan sat in Logan’s truck steaming.

  “At least we weren’t arrested.” Channing tried to find the positive in an otherwise stupid situation that ended up with them being permanently banned from the building.

  “I know.” Logan slammed his fist against the steering wheel. “I’m just pissed off at what that asshole said.”

  Channing reached over and put his hand on Logan’s leg. “Look, Logan. Who cares what people think about me and you? We’re teenagers, and we’re gay, people are already going to judge us no matter what.”

  Logan sighed and lowered his head. “I know. It’s just—"

  “Just forget about it.” Channing stopped him. “That four-eyed prick doesn’t know shit. You and I know it’s not like that.” He moved his hand to Logan’s arm. “Besides, if anything, this makes for a memorable first date.” Channing ran his hand up to Logan’s shoulder.

  Logan slowly turned his head to Channing as the corners of his mouth rose slightly. “I like when you do that.”

  “It’s my turn to put my hands on you for a change.” Channing gave him a gentle smile.

  Logan stared into Channing’s eyes, leaned over, and gave him a gentle kiss before quickly pulling back and reaching a finger towards the start button.

  “Let's go. I know where I’m taking you.”

  “Where?” Channing smiled.

  “It’s a surprise.” Logan wiggled his eyebrows playfully at him.

  A short drive later, Logan pulled into a parking lot filled with hundreds of vehicles. Channing’s face lit up when, in the distance, he saw a chain-link fence enclosing an area filled with Carnival rides.

  “A fair?” Channing looked at Logan, his voice full of excitement. “I haven’t been to a fair in years!”

  “Me, either.” Logan found a spot near the back o
f the lot.

  After parking, they both hopped out of the truck. Channing observed the colorful lights in the distance illuminating the night sky, and heard the familiar sounds of loud carnival music filling the air. Logan waited at the front of the truck for Channing to join him. He smiled as he took Channing’s hand into his, intertwined their fingers and walked them hand-in-hand towards the gate. Channing looked down at their joined hands as they walked atop the wet pavement towards the gate, feeling warm fuzzies all over.

  Logan bought their tickets while Channing waited patiently behind him, staring at the Tilt-A-Whirl just inside the gate. Soon they were walking along the main thoroughfare that led through the various game and food vendors. Channing, feeling a little hurt that Logan had stopped holding his hand, glanced to his right. He understood his reason; after all, there was a good probability they would run into someone they knew from school; but it still bothered him nonetheless.

  The smell of cotton candy and smoked turkey legs made Channing’s stomach rumble. Occasionally, he would turn his head towards Logan and watch as the cool breeze blew his hair into his eyes, forcing him to lower his head and sling the long curly mop back over his head.

  “Breezy, isn’t it?” Channing commented as he watched Logan finally dig into his pocket and pull out a rubber band to tie his hair into a man-bun.

  “Yeah. I need a haircut.” Logan laughed and tied his hair up.

  “No, you don’t. I love long hair on guys.” Channing smiled. “In fact, I may grow mine out. What do you think?” He flung his head back like a supermodel in a shampoo commercial.

  “Go for it! I think you would look good with long hair. Hell, I think you would look good even if you were bald.” Logan winked.

  Channing laughed.

  A few moments later, Logan reached down and wrapped Channing’s hand in his once again. Channing relaxed his hand and let Logan take it as he scanned the crowd of people before looking back up at Logan worriedly. Logan smiled and nodded, reassuring Channing that he didn’t care anymore who knew they were together. Channing felt claimed.

  “Come win your boyfriend a stuffed animal.” They heard a voice calling from one of the booths.

  They immediately turned their heads towards the big hairy man standing in front of three sets of stacked milk bottles, who was holding a softball. The carny was focused on Logan, obviously assuming he was the one in charge.

  Logan looked at Channing. “Want a stuffed animal?”

  “Sure. Why not?” Channing laughed.

  He let go of Channing’s hand and walked to the booth, and Channing fell in behind him.

  “Three balls for ten dollars. Knock all of them over, and you win any of the ones hanging there.” The carny pointed to the various gigantic stuffed animals hanging on the rope directly above the counter.

  Logan worked his wallet from his back pocket and handed the man a ten-dollar bill. Taking the money, the carny stuffed the money in his apron pocket and laid three softballs on the counter in front of Logan. Logan picked up one of the balls and smiled at Channing as he began estimating the strength and distance it would take to knock over the set of bottles seven feet in front of him.

  “Here goes,” Logan said as he pulled his arm back and aimed directly at the bottles on the bottom of the pyramid.

  He wound up and let go of the ball. The ball zoomed through the air, hitting the bottle on the bottom left of the stack. The bottle wobbled slightly as the ball bounced off and landed on the ground.

  “Too bad.” The carnival worker’s eyes never strayed from the fair patrons walking past as he searched for his next sucker.

  Logan picked up the second ball. He weighed the ball in his hand, re-evaluating how much force it would take to win the game. He looked at Channing.

  “These balls are too light.”

  “It’s how they get you.” Channing leaned over and whispered.

  Logan wound up his throw again and let loose of the ball. The ball flew through the air and hit the bottle directly in the center of the pyramid causing the two bottles from the second row and the one from the top to fall. The three bottles on the bottom remained firmly anchored to the wooden platform.

  “Aw. Too bad.” The carny said almost robotically as he quickly restacked the heavy glass bottles.

  On the third try, Logan squinted his eyes pensively at the bottles, deciding it was going to take all his strength to throw the ball hard enough to knock them down. He focused, wound up tightly, and pounded the ball towards his target. The ball flew through the air and smashed against the bottle in the middle of the third row. The entire structure crumbled as the corners of Logan’s mouth rose in a self-satisfied grin.

  “We have a winner!” The carny shouted loudly enough that anyone passing by could hear, letting patrons know the game was indeed winnable.

  Channing grinned from ear to ear as the carny looked to him.

  “Your choice. Any of the big ones up there.” The man pointed up.

  Channing felt somewhat like a teenage girl, picking out a stuffed animal, but after turning to Logan and seeing the look of pride on his face, any feelings of potential embarrassment quickly dissipated. He pointed towards the big red dog. The carny took the long stick with the hook on the end, reached up, and lifted the toy from the rope on which it was hanging.

  “It’s huge!” Channing laughed as the bearded man handed him the toy.

  He looked to Logan and tried to figure out how he was going to carry the huge toy, before finally settling on holding the toy around the neck and stuffing it under his left arm as he and Logan walked away. Logan laughed as he put his arm around Channing’s shoulders and pulled him close. A few seconds later, he leaned down and gave Channing a quick peck on the lips.

  Channing melted into Logan’s side as they continued walking along the thoroughfare. After walking arm-in-arm for quite a distance, Channing spotted the one ride he always wanted to experience with someone he cared about.

  “I want to ride that.” He pointed up.

  Logan lifted his head, and he eyed the enormous Ferris wheel several yards in front of them.

  “I know what you’re thinking.” Logan winked down at Channing, realizing he wanted his rom-com moment.

  A few minutes later, they both took a seat in the cart that would bring Channing his heartfelt desire. Channing stuffed his big red dog in the spot on the other side of him and leaned in close to Logan, who pulled the restraint down before putting his arm around him. The intoxicating smell of Logan’s cologne mixed with his sweaty musk made Channing want him even more.

  Logan looked over at the dog. “What’re you naming him?”

  “Oh, man.” Channing looked beside him “I don’t know. I feel kinda like—"

  “A teenage girl?” Logan raised his eyebrows.

  “Yeah.” Channing laughed.

  “Hey. I’m not judging. It’s just you, me,” Logan laughed, “and Maynard.”

  He pointed at the dog.

  “Maynard?” Channing gave him a quizzical look. “Where did that come from?”

  “I don’t know. He just looks like a Maynard.” Logan shrugged.

  “Maynard it is.” Channing gave a firm nod.

  “Good choice.” Logan smiled as the cart began to move.

  Channing grabbed onto Logan as they slowly rose to the top of the wheel. The cart jerked forward as they came to a halt. Channing grasped Logan’s leg.

  “You okay?” Logan furrowed his brow.

  “Yeah. Just a little scary up here.” Channing leaned forward and peered down at the asphalt below, quickly pulling his head back.

  Logan wrapped his arm around Channing’s shoulders, pulling him closer, wanting him to feel protected. Logan gave him a quick peck on the cheek, leading Channing to have a sudden realization that he had given himself over to this boy who smelled so good. It made him wonder if Logan had treated his former girlfriends just as well. He knew he never felt comfortable playing the role of the traditional dominant ma
le in his past relationships with women. Submitting to Logan felt very natural. The thought of what that meant if they got to the point of intimacy filled him with excitement. The lights from the bulbs that lined the metal support beam cast a slight shadow on Logan’s face, intensifying Channing’s romantic thoughts as he began rubbing Logan’s chest.

  He looked up at him dreamily. “You’re so handsome.”

  “So are you.” Logan leaned down and brushed his lips against Channing’s, fulfilling Channing’s fantasy of a romantic kiss at the top of a Ferris wheel.

  At that moment, Channing felt like the whole universe was smiling down upon them.

  Later, after an evening of sharing cotton candy, funnel cakes, and more rides and games, Logan pulled along the street in front of Channing’s home. He glanced at the huge stuffed rabbit sitting on the console next to him.

  “I can’t believe you won this for me.” Logan laughed.

  “I used to play Little League…well…for one day anyway.” Channing shrugged. “Besides, you won me a dog, I had to win you something.”

  “God.” Logan shook his head. “It’s so different dating a dude.”

  “Is that good or bad?” Channing gave him a concerned look.

  “It’s good. Oh, it’s definitely good. But with girls…I mean I’m like ‘The Man.’”

  “You still are ‘The Man’.” Channing made air quotes.

  “You know what I mean.” Logan smiled.

  “I get it. It’s because I can be ‘The Man’ too. Like when I win my date a big stuffed rabbit.” Channing patted the pink plush rabbit with the big silly grin, and long floppy ears on the head, causing it to bobble up and down.

  “Yep. That’s it exactly,” Logan laughed.

  “How does that make you feel?” Channing wondered if sharing both dominant and submissive roles, as many gay couples do, would be difficult for Logan.

  Logan shrugged as smiled crept to his face. “I think it’s kind of hot.”

  “So, what would you think if I did this?” Channing grabbed the rabbit and hurled it into the seat behind him. He climbed on the console and reached for the back of Logan’s head. Putting one hand behind it and the other on the inside of Logan's thigh, he forced Logan’s head down, pressing their lips together and forcefully kissed him, letting his tongue roll into his mouth.