by Karen Deen
“Don’t you dare leave me hanging. What happened?”
I don’t even know how to answer her. “We spoke briefly, he offered me sex, I turned him down, and then I stormed off down the street like a two-year-old while he was laughing at me. Yep, that about sums it up.” Just as she’s about to ask for more details, we’re interrupted by Daisy who is getting impatient waiting to leave for our adventure.
“There is so much more to this story, I’m sure. Don’t worry, I have all day to torture you and drag it out of you. Hope you’ve taken painkillers, because a day with Daisy and a hangover can be enough to make your head explode, spoken from experience.” We both laugh, clean up our coffee mess, and head out the door to spend the day together.
A few hours at the zoo and I remember how hot, smelly, dusty, and noisy it is. Between the animals and the children who are like animals, you can hardly hear yourself think. Finally, Daisy is slowing down and the words are only coming out at half the speed. I’m still laughing on the inside watching Hannah trying to explain what the monkeys are doing. The horny male jumping on the female who’s just sitting there minding her own business. He then starts wildly humping her and making monkey noises at the same time. Of course, all the adults start laughing, which means Daisy is asking questions as to why we’re laughing and what they’re doing. Hannah makes up some wild story about him getting a piggyback ride and the noises are like when we laugh from fun. I have to walk away, otherwise I’m going to lose it and that would wreck it. I think it will be my best memory from today.
Finally, we’re sitting on the grass having our picnic lunch while Daisy is playing with the kids in the play area. I slowly lie back on the blanket and close my eyes, letting the sun warm my skin and sweat the alcohol out of my system. I could easily drift off to sleep, catching up on last night and the week of no sleep that I’ve had.
The world is at peace until Hannah pokes me in the ribs.
“Ow, what was that for?” I open my eyes to see her staring at me.
“You know exactly what it was. Don’t you dare go to sleep. Now we’re alone, you have stories to tell me, woman. That bullet-point explanation this morning won’t cut it, you know.” Ugh, I don’t know if I want to go over this again. It was humiliating enough the first time.
“You got the gist of it this morning. There’s not much more to tell,” I try brushing her off.
“Not a chance, Tilly. What is it about this guy that has you all tied up in knots? For someone you’ve only spent a few hours with and had two brief meetings since, he has you going crazy. This isn’t like you.” Hannah is so right.
“Well, to start with, it’s not like they were two normal meetings since then. Remember one was me flat on my back, legs in the air and open for the world to see. Not my ideal date, I’m sorry to say.” I sit up and lean back with my hands behind me.
“I don’t know, on your back, legs open, sounds like a great date to me. I can’t remember the last time Trent had me in that position, so stop complaining.” Hannah half laughs but I can tell she’s also sad about missing him.
“Oh Han, I’m sorry, you don’t want to hear about my drama.”
“Bullshit. If I’m not getting any, I need to live through you. Now get back on topic. What is it about Grayson that has you all flustered?”
I sit there staring out into the park. I don’t know if I can put my finger on the exact thing and why I can’t seem to wipe him off my mind.
“That first night, he was so wonderful. Not just the sex, which was unbelievable. The way he spoke to me. The intense electricity that was between us when we were near each other. The attraction to him was instant when I spotted him across the room looking at me. He treated me like a lady. Never once did I feel scared or in any danger. I had this undeniable trust in him. We shared something amazing in that room that was so much more than sex. It was such a connection that I panicked and ran. I told myself it was just one night, but what he made me feel, I knew if I stayed I would find it hard to walk away in the morning.” Finally, I’m getting out everything that has been in the back of my mind all week.
“Why is it a problem if you both wanted to take it further than one night?” Hannah asks, pushing me to keep going.
“I don’t have the time to commit to a relationship. Especially not now with the hospital contract. Fleur and I have worked too hard to get here. I can’t let her down and slack off now.” Daisy calls out to her mom to watch her climbing the play fort. It gives me a moment to breathe.
“I’m just having trouble trying to match the Grayson I met that night with the arrogant Dr. Gray that turned up the next morning. He let me be embarrassed, knowing who I was and not saying a word, instead being a jerk in the appointment. Then last night on the street, he wasn’t the same man I first met. It was like he was this super confident guy who just wanted a good fuck. I thought I was more than that the first night. Stupid me.”
Hannah leans over and hugs me. It feels good to let it out. “Maybe he was just meant to be that one-night stand and nothing more. I don’t know, but what I do know is the universe is trying to tell you something. Otherwise why does he keep showing up in your life? Maybe he was as embarrassed as you were that morning after, so he was trying to hide that. Last night, maybe he had been drinking like you had, or it was a really bad day at work.” She shrugs at me.
Part of me wants to listen, but the stubborn part says no, he’s just a dick. The smooth gentleman was an act to get me into his bed. “I don’t know what to think, Han. All I can say is that if I don’t see him again for another ten years, it will probably be too soon.”
Hannah shakes her head at me.
“I think the universe’s vision might be a little different to yours. Mark my words, I think this is far from over. Hold on for the ride, baby.”
I hope she’s wrong.
But do I really?
GRAYSON
The rhythm of feet pounding on the ground is what I need this morning. I woke up with a slight headache, not from the beers last night but from her. Instead of my mystery woman, I should call her the sleep thief. Every time I see her it just makes sleeping worse.
Why she affects me so easily I don’t understand. One minute she’s the most beautiful woman I have ever met, that night was sensational. Since then, she is so snarky and just wants to rip my head off. Strangely I find that just as sexy as the quiet shy beauty of the ball. Maybe it’s because I’m not used to women treating me like that. There are so many that just see me as a doctor, which to them means status or money. Then there are the society bunnies who know I come from money. They just want a place in the inner circle, not having to do a day’s work for the rest of their life. None of it is about me. Or there are the honest women I come across that are just looking for a casual good time.
Matilda is none of those. She might have thought she was just after a good time, but that night was more than that. I felt it and I know she did too. Then when she found out who I was, instead of her latching on, she ran the opposite direction. Twice. I mean, what the hell is that? Mind you, I was being a jerk both times.
Last night she caught me off guard. I had a few too many beers. Tate had just pissed me off telling me Bella’s interning with him, and then I hear her talk about me being the best sex she ever had. Then Tate offered himself to her, my brain went into overload, and I snapped. She is mine, I want her, and all I could think in that moment was how I would like to take her to my bed. Tate the shithead, being intoxicated, gave me shit the whole ride home in the Uber. I love him like a brother, but last night I wanted to kill him. I had fucked up trying to talk to her again, and he was just making it worse.
Getting closer to the end of the run, with Elvis singing A Little Less Conversation in my ear, I couldn’t agree more. I need to find a way to see Matilda and have a normal conversation. No distractions, no hostility, and apologize for what I said and did. I need to show her that’s not me. Wanting to do this and working out how to achieve it are two di
fferent things. Pulling my earbuds out of my ears, I slow, ready for a drink of water. Mason and I slow up as we get closer to the fountain. He messaged me this morning telling me, not asking, that we were running, and I better be there. The other two are probably too hungover.
“You were a bit slower than normal this morning, Gray, still sweating the beer out?” Mason is leaning forward to take the first drink.
“Probably. That and lack of sleep this week,” I mumble.
“I don’t believe either. You’ve been worse off before and still kept up. As for lack of sleep, man, you are a doctor. You don’t ever sleep properly. My bet is Matilda is rattling that cage of yours and you don’t know how to handle it.” Smartass. He is spot-on, but I don’t know if I want to admit that to him.
“That look on your face tells me I’m right on the money. Don’t try denying anything. Why aren’t you doing anything about it?” He starts stretching his legs on the park bench.
“Fuck, if I could get five normal minutes with her then I would. I can’t contact her without the risk of a lawsuit. Every time I’ve run into her randomly like last night, things have been a disaster. What am I supposed to do?” That there is the crux of the problem. I want to find her, but I can’t. For years I have had women that I’m not interested in throwing themselves at me. I finally find one who has me standing up and taking notice, and I can’t do a damn thing about it.
“Firstly, you stop sulking. Man up and work out a way around it. Talk to Ally. Matilda is her patient. Surely, she can contact her on your behalf. You know her last name. Stalk her on social media, for god’s sake. That’s what the rest of the world does these days. Surely you’ve had those crazy girls send you nudes before, even when you don’t even know them. Totally nuts if you ask me, but they do it anyway.” He wipes his face with the front of his tank top to mop up the sweat.
“I don’t know, Mas, I feel weird invading a woman’s privacy like that. I’m thirty-five years old, not eighteen. Surely, I can find another way. I’ll think about it and come up with something, somehow. She seems to keep popping up, so who knows. Enough about me. What’s going on in your world? This new job working out okay?” I need to think about something else for a while.
“This job would have to be a pilot’s dream job. A Dassault Falcon X8 jet plane that’s all mine to captain. A boss who is hot and feisty. I get paid to be at her beck and call. What more could a guy need?” He laughs to himself.
“Isn’t it frustrating, sitting around waiting?” I’ve finished stretching so we start walking again to head home.
“Sometimes. It doesn’t happen all the time. This week I have five days of flying her from New York, Seattle, Washington DC, Portland and then down to Florida with a round-trip home. Weeks like that are more common than the waiting around. Paige has the jet for convenience because she flies so much. She’s not one of these rich ones who has it as a status symbol. That’s why I took the job. I love to fly, not sit in a hangar and wash the jet every day.”
“You know that sounds ridiculous, don’t you? What did you do today, dear? Oh just wash the jet, not much.” Mason smacks me on the shoulder, laughing at me. “I mean, you probably wash the jet more than you wash your car. You know, the one you hardly ever take out of the garage.” When you think of Mason’s life, it’s not anywhere near a normal one.
Changing the topic of conversation, we switch to our plans for the weekend and plan for catching up to watch the ball game tomorrow. We split off as we get closer to our apartments. Both living in The Loop, it makes it easy to run together in Grant Park. It’s good for the body to get out in the fresh air and clear the mind. Now to plan the rest of my weekend before I head back into another busy week at work being on call.
“What do you say, Memphis, we take a drive out to see your granddad for the rest of the weekend? I could use a change of scenery. While he’s home, we should squeeze in a visit. Let’s see if Bella is up for a little road trip.”
Dad travels a lot for work as an HR arbitrator. He gets contracted to come in and sort out disputes in companies between management and the employees. It’s usually at a boiling point with the risk of strike action or they’ve already walked off the job. He never knows where he’ll be or when he will have to go. He doesn’t always get a lot of notice. After Mom died and we’d grown up, it suited him. He can come and go as he pleases, at any time, and not have to worry about anyone else. Probably why he has never met anyone else. In some ways he’s like a doctor the way he is on call.
Grabbing a few things and receiving a yes message back from Arabella that she will be ready in twenty minutes to be picked up, I take Memphis down to the car with me. He is so placid he travels really well. Dad still lives in our childhood home in Norwood Park. It’s too big for him but is close to the airport, so he won’t sell it or move from it. He bought the house for him and Mom when they got married. He says there are so many memories in the house he can never get rid of it. As much as life would be so much easier for him in the city, I’m glad he kept the house all this time. It’s where I feel closest to Mom. There are times I need that.
When Bella jumps in the car, I can’t wait very long before I blurt it out. She’s stuck with me and can’t get away, so it’s the perfect time.
“Why didn’t you tell me you’ve been put on Tate’s intern rotation list? You know you need to get it changed, right?” I know it came out too harsh, but I can’t help it. The protective big brother is in the house.
“Seriously, Gray, is that why you invited me to come home with you? So you can lecture me all the way there, and then get Dad on your side too? Turn the car around and take me home. I’m not in the mood for this shit.” She turns and stares out the window.
Now that’s not quite the reaction I expected. I don’t know whether to push it or leave it alone. I can’t help myself and need to have my say now that I’ve opened my mouth. If she is going to be annoyed, I may as well get it over with now than try again later.
“No, Bella, I didn’t invite you just to talk to you about this. What would have been nice, though, is if I had heard it from you instead of Tate. I just think it’s a really bad idea.” I can’t say everything I’m thinking because that’s just not the conversation you want to have with your sister, or even be thinking about.
“This.” She waves her hands between us. “This is why I didn’t say anything. I knew you would go all psycho and stick your nose in where it isn’t wanted. He is the best neurosurgeon on staff at Mercy. He’s like a brother to you, the only person you would trust to operate on that pea-sized brain of yours, yet you don’t trust him with you sister. That’s just fucked up, Gray!” I hate to admit she has a point. “If you’re worried about him hitting on me like he does all his other interns, you’re crazy. Best friend’s little sister.” She points to herself. “Never going to be interested or game to go near me. Won’t happen. So, tell me what the problem is?” This is the most fired up I’ve seen my sister in a long time. I knew last week something wasn’t right with her. I hate that I’ve stressed her out by her worrying about my reaction.
Looks like I’m not winning any brownie points with any women around me at the moment. The only award I’m in contention for is the giant douchebag award. I need to get my life together.
“Listen carefully, because you will probably never hear this again. You’re right. I should trust both you and Tate. I didn’t look at it the right way. I’m sorry for being so overprotective. I can’t turn it off. You do know it comes from a place of love, though, don’t you?”
She slowly turns to look at me from her window. The silence in the car tells me it’s taking a while to sink in. Eventually she starts to softly smile. “Do you think you could repeat that so I can record it? You said it yourself, I’ll never hear it again.” She starts to get her phone up, pointing in my direction. “Ready and action.”
“My sister, Bella, is the most annoying sister ever.” She groans and smacks me on the arm. “I’m glad that is now o
n record. Just be careful, Bel, I don’t want you hurt. Just pretend Tate is any other doctor and keep working hard like you have been, okay? Don’t give anyone a reason to say you got an advantage because you know him.”
“You do know I’m a big girl now. I’ve got this. Trust me.” She puts her head on my shoulder and kisses the top of it. We then continue to drive home while Memphis sleeps soundly in the back seat, snoring like a champion.
Bella leans over and turns up the music. We both start singing to Elvis songs, totally off-key but neither of us care.
Turning into the driveway at home, a sense of calm comes over me. Home is always good for the soul. In a way, cleansing.
Maybe tonight I’ll get some sleep.
Although if Memphis keeps letting out dog farts like he has in the car, he’ll be out on the back porch. That’s enough to stop even the heaviest sleeper being able to breathe.
Opening the car door, he runs towards Dad standing on the front porch.
I have a feeling this could be the only grandchild he gets, at least for a while.
Not that Memphis is complaining at the extra love he gets being the only fur baby.
“Hey, Dad.” I embrace him.
“Hi, son, you look tired. Is everything okay?” He pulls back looking at me carefully.
“Yeah, Dad, it will be. Good to be home.” I give him another hug and head inside.
Within an hour, I’m fast asleep on the couch in front of the television with Memphis curled up on the floor in front of me.
Yeah, sometimes you just need to go home to find your center.
Chapter Ten
MATILDA
Arriving at work early on a Monday is worth it. We have just hit eleven o’clock and the whole week is scheduled. We’ve started the process of hiring some more staff to cover the new functions. Deven is off getting the coffee, I’m publishing all the new rosters to the staff, and Fleur is replying to all the weekend emails and sending out all the orders we need quotes on for the new functions.