by Karen Deen
Already miss you
GG: You have no idea how much I needed this message.
I miss you too, baby.
Don’t worry, by the time tonight is over, your head will love me again too
Tilly: Are you okay?
GG: Yeah baby, I am now. Some days are just tough.
You always make it better.
Tilly: Good. Now, can you make my head better?
GG: I’ll kiss it better tonight.
Maybe I’ll kiss it ALL better
Gorgeous Gyno GG xx
Tilly: Oh God, you will never forget that will you.
GG: No way. I’m getting a tattoo that says
G master
On my hands, for all to see.
Tilly: You are such an idiot.
Lucky I love you.
GG: Yes you do, and I have it in writing now
That’s a contract.
You’re mine now baby
Tilly: Where do I sign?
GG: On my heart
Tilly: *heart melting* If you sign mine too
GG: Already did
Tilly:I know
Just as I’m about to reply, my pager goes and the moment must end. I’m not sad, though, because I’ll take all these little stolen bits of happiness for a lifetime with her.
GG: Need to go- paged
Love you, talk later
xx
Tilly: Love you more
xx
Those three words have me smiling for the rest of the day. It’s one competition I’ll be happy to have with her for the rest of our lives.
Showing how much we love each other is the best game I can think of playing.
Chapter Twenty-Two
MATILDA
This last week since our two dates has flown by so quickly. There hasn’t been much sleep happening in between work and Grayson. Not that I will ever complain about that.
Sometimes it may be only for a few hours between Gray’s different shifts, but every night we’ve been in the same bed together. Sometimes it’s mine and sometimes it’s his, but every time we are together. When Gray works at night, I spend the night with Memphis, and he keeps me company. Curling up at the end of the bed, keeping watch until Gray comes home in the middle of the night. Without a fuss he then trots back out to his bed and lets Gray take over the shift.
I have never felt so treasured.
I just wish I wasn’t feeling so anxious right now as we drive home to see Mom and Dad for the weekend. Fleur is covering me, and Gray swapped some shifts so we could do this. I knew if I didn’t do it now then I’d lose the confidence to finish it once and for all.
My mom was beside herself when I called and told her we were coming. I can imagine she’s had Dad cleaning all week. He’ll be complaining she’s dragging him away from the garage and she’s fussing for nothing. Although I’m anxious, I can’t wait to see them. Nothing beats a hug from your mom and dad. Well, maybe not nothing. Grayson has some pretty special things, but that’s a whole other story.
“You okay, baby?” Gray squeezes my hand that he has had hold of the whole trip.
“Yeah, I will be. It’s just a little hard, but it’s time.”
“Remember you aren’t on your own. We’ve got this.” He lifts my hand to his lips and kisses it which still gives me tingles every time.
“We’re almost there. About five minutes away. Are you ready to be attacked by my mother? I’ll just apologize now for all the hugging, talking, feeding, fussing, and any other mothering she will be smothering you with. Both my sister and I haven’t been around much for the last few years, so my poor dad has been putting up with it all.” I know I need to warn him about the whirlwind that Mom will be when we arrive. I’m surprised she hasn’t got a sign in the main street welcoming me home.
“Baby, I doubt your dad is complaining about having his wife fuss over him and all that time alone in the house without his daughters listening.”
“Grayson!” I yell. “You did not just say that to make me think about my parents having sex, did you? Oh my god, I can’t unthink that now. I told you everything revolves around sex with you. Christ, you look at women’s vaginas all day. You are obsessed.”
We’re both laughing and Gray tries to defend himself. “Here is a little secret that if you tell anyone I’ll have to kiss you to death. I might look at vaginas all day, in a medical way which is not like you think. All I see is flesh of someone who I want to keep healthy and help in whatever way they need. But when I’m playing with your pussy, it is totally different. She calls me to do lots of naughty things to her. She’s the only one that talks to me.”
“Oh my god, why would you even say that? I mean, you sit there all straight-faced and tell me I have a talking pussy. You are a mess, you know that. I will never be able to concentrate when your head is down there again.” I groan as he keeps laughing at me.
“You have no idea, she says ‘come and eat me, G master’. How can I resist?”
“Ugh, stop already. You are just gross. Remind me again why I chose you?” Without realizing, we’ve already pulled up at my parents’ house and he’s looking proud of himself.
“You didn’t, you tried to run but I chased you down. Now I may be gross, but I managed to take your mind off the nerves and now we’re going to walk straight in there and get this over and done with. Because the way the curtain in the front window is moving, your mom is going nuts inside. I think we need to go and save your dad.” I look out the windshield to the place I always felt safe. Where there is always love for me no matter what.
“Thank you for everything. For loving all the parts of me.” He kisses me on the forehead so softly.
There are so many kisses in this world.
There are family kisses, on cheeks, on hands, the polite hello and goodbyes.
Then that first kiss with someone is all on its own, when you’re fumbling through that initial touch.
That hot and steamy, “I just want to eat you” kiss. The kiss that can be placed anywhere on your body and you feel the intensity of it.
A romantic “I love you” kiss can be the one that reminds you that your heart belongs to them and there is no other way to express how they feel.
Then there is THAT kiss!
The one on your forehead. Your face held in both his hands.
It’s so soft and longing. Telling you how absolutely treasured you are. It’s not sexual, it’s loving, it’s everything.
Grayson is telling me I’m everything.
That strength is enough to take on anything.
The moment is broken with the tapping on the window.
“I told you.” Sighing, we break apart and I don’t even have time to say another word before my mom has the door open, pulling me out and into her arms.
“Welcome home, Matilda. It’s time for you to finally come home.” I can feel Mom’s tears on my cheek where we’re touching. The guilt of what I have put my mother through is there, but as Gray told me, we can’t go back to the past, we have to live for today and into the future. That’s what I’m doing, I’m living.
“Let me breathe, Mom.” I laugh a little as she steps back and then pulls me in again. “I’m home, Mom, I’m not leaving you alone anymore.” Now we’re both crying.
I can hear my father’s voice next to me.
“You must be Grayson, Todd Henderson, nice to meet you.” Shit, I should be doing that.
“Mom, I need you to let me go for a minute.” Dad helps me out and pulls her towards him.
“Grayson, this is my mom, Shelley.” Before he even has time to say anything, she wraps him in a hug, which looks kind of funny. She’s only a small woman and seeing her trying to hug Gray is quite a sight.
“Thank you for bringing our girl home. Thank you.” My mom keeps babbling.
“Shelley, for god’s sake, woman. Let the poor boy go. You’ll send him packing.” She giggles and comes back to my dad who has just let go of me.
“It’s okay
, I understand. I’m very happy to meet you both. I have heard a lot about you from Tilly and Paul.”
“Don’t you listen to that cheeky little Paul. That bratty little boy was always up to mischief. I’m sure he didn’t tell you the stories of him getting into trouble all the time.” Mom is already linking arms with me and we’re walking inside. She knows Dad will help with any bags and the boys will follow.
“Now I’ve made scones, cake, and my homemade lemonade. Go and wash up and meet me out back on the deck.” Mom is already off in the direction of the kitchen which means we’re about to be fed within an inch of our lives.
“Lemonade, who is she kidding? Up for a home brew, Grayson? My last batch is a good one.” Dad is already slapping him on the back as he heads for the garage.
We’re both left standing in the front hall just looking at each other. I put my hand over my mouth and try to keep the noise of my laughter hidden from Mom. Gray is smiling and trying to hold it in too.
Grabbing his arm, I drag him up the stairs to my bedroom with our bags. Shutting the door, we both collapse on the bed in a rapture of laughter.
“They are adorable. They love you, little one, and have missed you,” Gray gets out after he calms down.
“I know, and they’re trying so hard to impress you. Mom only makes her lemonade for special occasions, and Dad, he doesn’t share his beer with anyone, unless you’re part of his inner circle. You’ve passed the test in the first five minutes.”
“Of course I have. I brought their little girl home to them. Plus, I’m a pretty spectacular guy.” He waves his hands down in front of him as if he’s showing off a prize.
“Do not encourage my mother with your ego. She’ll just feed it and we don’t need it any bigger. Be careful of Dad’s beer. It’s like rocket fuel. It’s only early afternoon and we don’t want a drunk Gray as the first impression.”
“Could make for a great story at the wedding, the night I met my future in-laws I was so drunk I was running around the backyard dancing, thrusting my hips while singing Elvis songs.”
“I’m warning you. It’s not even funny. I will cut your beer off and lock you in the bedroom if you get the slightest bit tipsy.”
“Now that sounds like a great idea. Bring my beer, woman.”
I just get up and walk to the door, shaking my head at him.
“I give up, I’m done. You’re just crazy.”
Gray jumps off the bed and is across my tiny room before I can get the door open.
“I might be crazy but it’s just crazy in love with you, little one. Never forget that.” He kisses me hard on the lips to make sure I’m paying attention.
“So this is your childhood room, Princess.” We stand together looking around.
“Yeah, this room has a lot of good and bad memories. I would normally struggle to be in here. It was here I lost the baby. I associated the last time I stayed in here with pain. I don’t feel that pain in here anymore.”
“That’s because the pain wasn’t in this room, Tilly. The pain was in you and now that you’ve let it go it can’t hurt you anymore. It’s time to remember the fun times in this room and make new memories.”
I look up into his eyes, with their twinkle. He still hypnotizes me with that look.
“There is no way we are having sex in my parents’ house.” I shake my finger in front of his face.
“Oh yes we are, and you will be having sex in your teenage bed and you will be very quiet while I make you come harder than you have before.” He has that look of cockiness all over his face.
“Not happening,” I tell him as I duck under his arm and out the door.
“Keep dreaming, Tilly, because we both know I’m very persuasive. I will win. Now where is this rocket fuel you talk of?”
Chasing me down the stairs trying to tickle me, we both head to my parents standing out on the back deck with both their offerings to the Grayson god. This afternoon is going to be one in a million, I can just tell.
“I can’t believe I just had sex in my parents’ house with them in the room next door. Damn you and your super sex powers, GG.” I lay with my head on his chest whispering in case they can hear me.
“Never doubt my attraction to you, little one. The challenge of being the first boy to fuck you in this bedroom just needed to be on my list of firsts. Surely you agree.” His hand is stroking up and down my back softly.
“What if I don’t agree with you?”
“Then I get to fuck you again until you do,” he whispers in my ear.
“I’ve created a monster.”
“Ah, but such a loveable monster.”
“Now that I can agree on. Time for sleep. I’m just warning you my mom will be up and making breakfast nice and early to make sure you get a good meal before you leave.”
“Well, we better work up an appetite then.”
“Grayson,” I squeal as he rolls me underneath him and kisses me to shut me up.
Sliding his hand down my body, he is shushing me to remind me I need to be quiet.
We both stop dead and look at each other. Checking that the noise we’re hearing is what we think it is. My mouth drops open and I try to put my hands over my ears as the squeak of my mom and dad’s bed and the headboard hitting the wall signals that we aren’t the only ones having sex in this house tonight.
If there is anything that will kill the moment, it’s having your parents next door beating you to it. Grayson rolls back on to his back trying so hard to hold in his laughter. Me on the other hand picks up my pillow, places my head on his chest, then pull the pillow over my ears.
That is how I fall asleep. Listening to Grayson’s heartbeat and nothing else.
Nothing else at all.
“Mom, please don’t cry. You will see me in two weeks when you come and stay with us for the foundation function. I told you I’ll visit more, I promise.” Leaving is hard because Mom is fearing that I won’t come back like last time.
“I know, it’s just hard. You’re so grown up, but still my little girl.”
I hug her tight as Dad starts to pull her out of my arms and wrap her in his. “I’ll call you during the week and we can organize your visit and meeting Gray’s family. You’ll love them too, including Memphis who thinks he’s a human in this family.”
“Hey, what are you talking about? You’re the one that he goes to now. He joined Team Tilly from day one. You stole my little buddy,” Gray complains as he puts his arm around my shoulders.
“Can’t help it if your dog has good taste. He just traded up in the deal, that’s all.”
“You know you’re not too big to put over my knee even in front of your mom and dad, don’t you?”
“Shut up, you crazy thing, and say goodbye.” We all hug again and say our farewells, which takes another five minutes.
Finally, in the car and driving through town, I’m smiling at all the memories of Fleur and me flooding in. Life was good here. I’m so glad I’ll get to show Gray my home now as we visit more often.
Laying my head back on the headrest, I look across at the man sitting beside me. It’s then that I realize that home is not a location for me anymore.
Wherever Grayson is, then that’s where I feel the love and happiness you need to believe you are safe and the freedom to be yourself.
I ran away from home once before.
But I’m done running now.
Grayson is my home.
GRAYSON
2 Weeks later
“Thank god your mom and dad are staying in your apartment and not here with us. I’m not sure I can eat another mouthful after tonight’s dinner.” I rub my belly while Tilly’s head is laying in my lap as we relax on the couch.
“I warned you on day one about her need to feed us constantly. I swear, I lost ten pounds the first month I left home.”
“I’m not complaining. She cooks the best food. But I can’t believe how much she turned up with. I’m sure she’s been cooking since the day we left to pr
epare for this weekend.” I run her hair through my fingers and listen to her breathing starting to slow. I know she’s exhausted with how hard she’s been working. Her normal workload has been doubled since they took on the hospital contract, and with the foundation function tomorrow night, she is pushing herself hard.
“She was nervous about coming to the city, meeting your family, and tomorrow night. She bakes when she’s nervous. So be prepared for whatever else she has stashed over there in my fridge and freezer already.”
“I love your mom and dad, they’re so real. No crap, just real people.”
“That’s the way they raised me. Look for the good in people but also look for the realness which is just as important.” She yawns as she finishes her sentence.
“Come on, we need to get you to bed. You’re tired.” Agreeing with me, she sits up and we both stand. Memphis knows what the routine is now. He comes to Tilly for his pat, then me, then heads over to his bed and settles down for the night. While Tilly then walks to the bedroom and starts to get ready for bed, I turn the lights off and make sure everything is locked up and turned off for the night. Usually I beat Tilly into bed by the time she’s done all that crazy girl’s stuff they do before bed with night creams and all the rest of it.
Tonight, though, I walk in to her already in bed and a light snore can be heard. I stand leaning against the doorframe just watching her sleep. I don’t know how long for, but I just can’t take my eyes off her. This beautiful angel sent from the heavens to make me whole. She will never realize how much it means to me, the extent she’s going to for the function tomorrow night. Every detail has had its I dotted, and its T crossed multiple times. When Fleur told her she isn’t working the function, I thought she was going to explode on the spot.