by N. M. Silber
“That’s not the same. He’s just going to have sex with those women. A date is like dinner and stuff with somebody you’re hoping to know for more than a few hours.”
“Wait, let me get this straight, having sex with someone is no big deal, but eating dinner with them is? What kind of fucked up logic is that?”
“Guy logic! Goddamnit!”
“Well, that explains it!”
“Why doesn’t she just tell him if she’s interested?”
“Because he’s her brother’s close friend and he’s a womanizer.”
“Well, that’s why he won’t say anything to her either until he’s ready to do something like date her.”
“Until he’s ready? So, he actually might be interested?” I asked perking up.
“Why do you want to know?” he asked smugly.
“Oh Jesus! This discussion is pissing me off!”
“Me too,” he growled. “Want to have make-up sex?” He looked very pleased with my response, which was to put my book down and crawl over to straddle him.
“Hi, hot naked guy,” I said seductively and squirmed around a little on his lap. He breathed in sharply, grabbed my waist, and obligingly started getting hard for me.
“You drive me so crazy, in so many ways.” His hands skimmed up my sides to cup and knead my breasts. He lifted them and pinched my nipples and I sighed with pleasure.
“That just means you won’t get bored,” I said in a silky voice.
“Bored? With you? Never. I haven’t been bored once in twenty-three years.”
“Did you really used to look at that photo of me that you kept in your drawer?”
“It helped to have a visual at certain private moments.” He paused. “Although, it was a little disturbing that Josh Lieberman and Rob Bergen were also in the picture.”
“Naughty boy. I was a naughty girl, too. I’ll tell you a secret,” I whispered. I leaned in and licked his jawline, savoring the taste of salt on his skin and the tingle of his rough stubble against my tongue. Then I moved my mouth down lower to gently suck on his neck. His breathing picked up noticeably as I enjoyed the feel of his pulse hammering against my lips.
“Yes, tell me,” he answered, voice vibrating with tension.
“You were the one I was thinking about when I had my first orgasm.”
He froze. I stopped nuzzling and kissing him and leaned back to look at him. I searched his face to try to figure out his reaction to my confession, but his expression was hard to read. Oh God, I couldn’t believe that I had just shared something that private. I felt pins and needles travel down my spine and my cheeks got hot.
“Really?”
“Does that make you feel weird?” I asked. Anxiety made my chest feel tight.
“Weird? Holy fuck, Lily. That’s the hottest thing anyone has ever said to me.” I relaxed again, releasing a shaky breath. One of his hands traveled down to my clit as he began drawing slow circles with his thumb, still gazing at me intently. “How old?”
“Thirteen,” I said with a moan and shifted my hips to push harder against his hand. “Oh yes. Yes, like that. That feels so good.” I let myself escape completely into the pleasure he was giving me.
“What were you thinking?” His voice sounded hoarse and his eyes looked hazy. He pushed two fingers up inside me and I moaned louder.
“I didn’t know enough to imagine it right.” I gasped and reached up to squeeze my breasts. “Just that you were kissing me and that you were the one touching me. Like you are now,” I added, my voice wavering.
I looked at him and saw how much he wanted me, and even though I had already had him inside me twice that day, at that moment, I wanted him even more. I wanted him desperately. I needed him like I needed air.
“Lily, you nearly finish me when you look at me like that,” he said, gazing at me almost helplessly. “Do you see what you do to me?”
I shifted my gaze to his lap, where his big beautiful cock was ready to play. I gripped him at the base and ran my fist up his length rubbing my thumb over his wet tip, making him groan. I loved the feel of him pulsing in my hand.
“Adam, I want you so much. I’m aching for you.”
“I need to be inside you,” he said thickly and bent his knees, urging me forward as I positioned him at my entrance. I was about to slide down on him when his hands went to my hips, holding me still. “Slowly.”
He looked into my eyes and eased me down. I felt him fill and stretch me inch by inch until he was completely buried in me. We sat there, chest to chest, my arms wrapped around his neck as he slowly stroked my back, making me clench around him. I sucked in a breath and shivered, my skin tingling.
Then he urged me to move and guided me while I rolled my hips and rode him. He started pulling me forward against his pelvic bone every time I came down on him, and the friction was driving me wild, making my tummy clench and setting every nerve ending in my body on fire.
“Oh, Adam, Oh, God.” I felt the tension in my lower belly traveling down between my legs. I relaxed into it and let the pressure build.
“Come on, baby.”
“Yes, yes, please,” I begged. “Oh God, Adam.”
“You’re right there. Just let go.”
“Oh, Adam!” I cried out, not looking away from him. I knew that he wanted to see me come undone. A jolt hit me hard as I lost control and my inner muscles clamped down around him, pulsing and grabbing his cock in rhythmic waves. He held me still as my orgasm ripped through me. Finally, when he was sure that I was done, he rolled me onto my back, settled between my legs, and started seeking his own release, thrusting into me hard and fast.
“Lily, Oh, God,” he said, barely coherent himself at that point. He was so far gone that his voice sounded different. After another minute or so, he ground out something completely incoherent and held himself against me tightly, stilled and tensed. Then he groaned and let out a ragged breath. His muscles relaxed, and I happily took his weight as he collapsed on me. Fighting with Adam was a whole different ballgame now that we had make-up sex.
Afterward we shared some sweet, deep kisses and gently massaged each other’s tired muscles while we held one another. “She didn’t say anything that exciting,” I offered. “Just that she had always thought he was hot but that she figured that she was probably off-limits because she was Braden’s sister.”
“Thank you for trusting me,” he replied, pulling me closer and leaning down to gently kiss me on the head. “She would be off-limits to just hook up with, but maybe not if he eventually wanted to date her. He says he’s not looking for that. Still, though, he seemed kind of interested for a guy who’s not looking.”
“Is that what he was talking to you about?”
“That’s confidential,” Adam teased and I poked him.
“Hey watch it. You poke me more than I poke you. And that’s a lot.” He laughed. “He asked me if I wanted to go out tomorrow night. The two of us haven’t hung out since that night I ran into to you at that club.”
“Well, you should go then.”
“You don’t mind?”
“No, not as long as you don’t hit on other women.”
“Well, let’s see, I’m living with my fiancée, who wants sex about twenty times a day lately. What do you think?”
“I think I’m tired.”
“Me too. You’re wearing me out, Lilith.”
Chapter Ten
Even though I hadn’t made a big deal of it, it did feel strange that Adam was going out without me. We had been together constantly since our first date and something just felt … missing. Still, I wasn’t going to be a clingy partner who had no friends or life of her own. I called Beth, who was free and happy to hang out with me, and I resolved to look good and go out and have fun, damn it.
I was not going to dwell on what Adam might be doing. I trusted him, even if I didn’t trust other women not to flirt with him. After all, I had been watching other women throw themselves at him since puberty. Of course, I
had also watched Adam enjoy that attention, revel in it in fact. He was exceptionally good looking. More than the physical looks, though, was the natural confidence and swagger. You just had to look at him to know he was good in bed. Women noticed, and he enjoyed them noticing, or at least he had.
He got ready first and when he came out of the bathroom I could smell his cologne. Why did have to smell so good? And why did he have to look so hot? True, he was just wearing a pair of jeans and a black sweater, but I knew that he would be getting plenty of female attention looking like that. Those jeans fit him perfectly and the sweater stretched over his pecs and biceps without looking like he was trying too hard. I wanted to peel those clothes off of him and lick him from top to bottom.
I pushed down my qualms, steeled myself, and marched off to the bedroom to get ready. I made an effort. If he was going to look lickable, so was I. I took real care with my hair and makeup and I chose an outfit that hugged my curves. He almost did a double-take when I came out of the bedroom wearing a black jersey knit wrap-dress and black boots. His eyes traveled up and down my body several times.
“You look amazing. Where are you two going?”
“We thought we would check out Orient Express, that new martini bar on 15th.”
“I heard that was a nice place.” He smiled. Was it my imagination or did it look a little forced?
“Where are you and Mark going?”
“Kilimanjaro,” he answered, naming a hip, funky South Street bar.
“Should be fun,” I said trying to sound upbeat. The two of us nodded and stared silently at each other for a long moment.
“Okay, well um, it’s good that we’re hanging out with our friends. That’s healthy. I mean we’re individuals, not one unit, right?” I said with a laugh that came out like a bark.
“Right!” he agreed, nodding some more.
He verified that I had my key and my phone and my pepper spray and then he left. When he was gone the apartment immediately felt empty and as much I criticized myself for being a pathetic excuse for an empowered woman, a dull ache settled between my ribs.
Half an hour later, Beth and I were seated in a booth lit only with a small purple lamp in the middle of our table. It really was a nice place, with an upscale and sophisticated atmosphere. It might be very sexy to come here with Adam. Oh shit. Stop it, Lily! I focused on what Beth was saying.
We chatted about what she was doing for Gabrielle and Braden’s new legal non-profit. While it wasn’t officially open yet, she was already hard at work raising money and making connections in the non-profit world.
“So, I’m going to go to some events that other organizations are sponsoring on weekends,” she said, sipping her dirty martini. She looked amazing tonight. She was wearing a simple short purple paisley dress and brown boots, but with her long blonde hair and her legs that went on for miles, the effect was stylish boho chic.
“Isn’t having to go to fundraisers on weekends going to interfere with your social life?”
“This is it.” She snorted and held out her arms. “Welcome to my social life.”
“What happened to that photographer you were dating? He seemed pretty sexy and he was creative and artistic.”
“He was. And very dedicated to his art too. In fact, he was willing to invest a lot of money traveling the globe to capture the perfect picture.”
“What’s wrong with that?” I asked and sipped my very yummy apple martini.
“He wanted it to come from my trust fund.” She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Just like all the guys I’ve been dating lately, in the end he was more interested in my money and my family connections than anything else.”
“That really sucks. I wish you would meet someone interested in you for yourself. You’re so talented and witty.”
“You’re sweet. At this point, though, I would even be happy just for a hot guy who just wanted me for my body. It’s been so long since I’ve had sex I think my vagina is going to break up with me.”
“Well, I’m sure there are plenty of hot guys who would be happy to give you a fun night with no strings attached. Getting laid should be easy for you.”
“When your father’s a senator, you have to be extra careful. You never know what kind of wack-jobs may be out there. And even though Braden and Drew could do anything they wanted, I also have to be more discreet. Gotta love the double standard.”
“Ah, I hadn’t thought of that. That must be tough. Too bad you’re off limits to Mark.”
“Yeah, no kidding, but Braden would probably freak if he ever found out.”
“He might not care if you were dating.”
“I don’t think Mark’s a dater.” She laughed. “I would love to have even one hot night with him, though. Oh well,” she said wistfully and took another sip of her drink.
I made a decision, even though she might get mad at me, I felt like I should tell her about the conversation the other night. I took a deep breath and launched into the whole story. She covered her mouth when I told her about Bruno and my vibrator and her eyes widened when I got to the part about Mark, but I stressed what Adam said, that for a guy who wasn’t looking for that he seemed kind of interested.
“Do you hate me?” I asked nervously.
“Hate you? No, silly. All you said was that you thought he and I would make a good couple. That’s no big deal. It’s not like you said ‘Beth likes you’,” she joked.
“She wants to make out with you.” I laughed.
“She wants to do a lot more than make out with him.” Now she was laughing too.
“Seriously, what’s the big deal? You’re both adults. Neither one of you is really looking for a serious relationship. He would be safe and it could be discreet.”
“And he’s probably got some mad skills in bed,” she added wiggling her eyebrows.
“Why can’t you just spend one great night together and not tell Braden?”
“Well, I’m fairly sure that he would never suggest it; so it would be up to me to make the first move, and even if I did, I’m not sure he would agree. I don’t know. I’ve never really been much of a siren or a femme fatale, or even all that daring. I would have to give it some thought.”
After that we started talking about other things like my writing and her painting, a new exhibit coming to the art museum where she used to work, my job as a prosecutor, and the wedding. Talking to Beth about it didn’t stress me out, though. She was wonderfully supportive. I confessed what effect the anxiety was having on my libido and she thought it was hilarious.
“Poor Adam! He’ll be exhausted before you know it,” she teased.
When I polished off my second martini, I told her about the dining room table and the cranberry sauce. We giggled like crazy and she told me she was horribly jealous because her Thanksgiving dinner hadn’t been nearly as interesting. But then, of course, I was thinking about him again. I had done such a good job up until that point.
Beth picked up on the shift in my mood quickly. We had already been there for almost two hours and had each downed two martinis. There was no shame in leaving at that point. I decided that I really enjoyed hanging out with Beth, though, and if she would just get together with Mark eventually, life would be perfect.
Chapter Eleven
I let myself back into the apartment, tossed the keys on the entry table and hung up my coat. Then I wandered to the living-room and over to a bookshelf. I was planning to just read until Adam got home. What I didn’t realize was that he was already home. There was just one table lamp turned on low and I didn’t see him lying on the sofa; so when he spoke, I jumped about three feet in the air.
“Did you have fun?”
“Jesus, Adam. You startled me.” I let out a deep breath and put my hand over my racing heart. “That’s the second time I’ve encountered you sitting in a dark room when I’ve gone looking for a book.”
I walked over to the sofa and sat down on the edge next to him. He took my hand and started rubbing it with
his thumb. Then he sat up and gave me a hot, passionate kiss, his lips moving over mine and his tongue exploring my mouth boldly. When he pulled back, I nearly swooned. “What was that for?” I asked breathlessly.
“I didn’t get to do it the first time,” he said with a smile, reminding me of our almost kiss that night in the cabin in the woods. I sighed. Not only did I love Adam, I think I still had a crush on him too.
“Why are you here?”
“I live here.”
“Why aren’t you still out with Mark, smartass?”
“We had a good time for a while and then I just kept thinking about how much you would like this or how much you would enjoy that. Mark said I was getting mopey.” He laughed.
“That’s why I’m home early too,” I admitted, reaching up and brushing a piece of hair off his forehead. “I think you would like Orient Express. We should go there together.”
“Yeah, that would be good. I was thinking, maybe Mark should date Beth. Then we could all hang out together. Because, you know, it’s all about us.”
“I was thinking the same thing.” I laughed. “Great self-absorbed minds …”
“So, Lily,” he said looking deeply into my eyes. “When do you want to get married?” My heart started pounding harder again. It was the first time Adam had actually brought it up.
“How about right after New Year’s?” I asked impulsively, realizing for the first-time that that’s what I wanted. I fidgeted and bit my bottom lip waiting for his reaction.
“That soon?” he asked, sounding surprised but not displeased. “I can understand how you would be eager to become Mrs. Adam Roth, but are you sure?”
“Is that too soon do you think?”
“Nah, not for me. I’ve been waiting twenty-three years for you, Fruit Roll-Up girl.”
“Me too, green glitter boy.” I paused and looked down at my hands, debating whether or not to confess something. I decided after a moment of reflection that I felt safe. “You know, when we graduated from high school, and you went to BU and I went to Tufts, there would be times when I would be in Boston and I would think I saw you and my pulse would shoot up and I would feel excited. It was never you, though. Stupid, huh?”