by N. M. Silber
“I hate you,” Braden said quietly in an amused voice and Adam laughed.
The rest of the week wasn’t any less stressful. My mother called to harass me on a regular basis. Adam’s mom also called regularly to consult with me about various details … in minute detail. When she wasn’t consulting and my mother wasn’t harassing, Mr. J. called to consult and harass. I refused to back down, though. This was my wedding, and I was in charge.
Under other circumstances, this might have resulted in me sexing Adam into a state of exhaustion, but alas, as I mentioned, Mother Nature was making her monthly call. Adam also insisted that while I was abstaining, he too, would abstain from any other type of pleasure because he didn’t like not being able to reciprocate. So, we had a stressful, but completely sexless week.
Luckily, Mother Nature would be leaving again by Saturday. Unluckily, Saturday was the day we were spending watching Josh and having a sleepover at Hannah and Nate’s place. By that time, let’s just say that both Adam and I were jonesin’. We probably would have been able to scratch our itch Saturday morning, but we slept late and had to rush to get to Hannah and Nate’s place in the suburbs.
“Okay, now Joshie’s been on this Mac and Cheese kick,” Hannah explained before she and Nate left for their romantic getaway. “He’ll want mac and cheese three meals a day but please make sure he eats something else too. I left a list of foods he’s usually okay with.”
“Nutrition, gotcha,” Adam said nodding.
“He goes to bed at eight-thirty and he’ll want a bed time story. Please read to him until he falls asleep.”
“Adam likes that too,” I offered and he shot me a “too much information” glance.
“Josh is just like he was at that age,” Hannah confided with a smile.
“There are moments when Adam is just like Josh at this age,” I joked, earning a glare from him and a laugh from Hannah.
“I’m so happy the two of you are finally together. You’re exactly what he needs.”
“He’s exactly what I need too,” I answered glancing up at him. That one, he liked. “When does Josh get a bath?”
“Eight o’clock, just before bed. No dump truck in the tub.”
“No dump truck.” I smiled at Adam who had once told me that I made a good tub toy. He gave me a lusty look that made my tummy flutter.
“Okay, now, as for Sparky,” Hannah went on, glancing at their rather nervous-looking pointer, “he gets two cans of dog food at about five. It’s in the pantry. Then Adam should walk him for about twenty minutes at seven. There are a pooper scooper and bags hanging just inside the basement door.”
“Great,” Adam said, unenthusiastically.
“So, any other questions?” Hannah asked.
“I don’t think so,” I replied. “Entertain him, feed him, put him to bed, and take care of Josh and the dog too.”
“Right.” Hannah laughed again. “After Josh is asleep, feel free to entertain yourselves however you like. We have movies, books, the guest bedroom …Please just remember to lock the door and not make too much noise.”
“Don’t traumatize me,” Adam warned.
“Adam doesn’t think that my sisters and I know he has sex at age twenty-seven. Please. We knew what he did with Abby’s college roommate in our parents’ basement when he was seventeen.”
“I haven’t heard that one.” I smiled while Adam gave her a death look. “When do you find out the sex of baby number two?” I asked, changing the subject and glancing down at her belly, which was just starting to swell. I figured that I would ask him about the basement thing later.
“Not for another four weeks at least,” she answered. “I’ll be happy either way, though. This should be good practice for you two.” She winked. Hannah was no fool. She saw through our sudden interest in babysitting.
“Yeah,” I said nervously. “I don’t have any experience with kids myself and my mom was always working, so I don’t really have any good role models other than maybe some of the better babysitters.”
“I’m sure that’s exactly what she wants to hear before leaving her child in your care,” Adam said.
“I’m not worried,” Hannah said reassuringly. “If you can handle Adam you can handle Josh. And I have good instincts about people. I think you’ll be a natural, Lily. Just remember, though, we all figure it out when we need to.” Adam turned and lifted his eyebrows at me in a silent “I told you so.”
“Okay, well, you guys should get going on your romantic getaway,” I said.
“Yeah, I don’t know when we’ll get another one. Enjoy your private time while you can. Once you have kids it gets much more complicated.”
Nate took their bags out to the car and then he and Hannah said goodbye to Josh. My heart ached watching it. They would just be gone for the night, but I could see that both Hannah and Josh were trying to be brave.
She promised him that he would have fun with Uncle Adam and Aunt Lily and that Mommy and Daddy would be back the next day. Josh nodded and hugged her hard. I almost had an emotional breakdown right there in the driveway. When they left, we held little hands and went back into the house. I had a feeling it was Elmo time.
Two hours later, with the theme to Elmo’s World permanently burned into my brain, it occurred to me that it was noon and Josh was probably getting hungry.
“Josh, it’s time for lunch,” I said brightly. “How about a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and some milk?”
“I want mac and cheese please,” he said gazing up at me with huge brown eyes that looked a whole lot like Adam’s. I melted. The kid owned me.
“Well, okay, but just for lunch, not for dinner too.”
“Hang on a minute,” Adam interrupted. “Okay, you want mac and cheese you’re going to have to have some carrot sticks too.”
“I don’t want carrot sticks. Celery with peanut butter is okay.”
“Alright but then you also drink some apple juice.”
“Okay.”
“So, mac and cheese, celery sticks with peanut butter and apple juice. You’ve got a deal.” Adam walked over and shook his hand. “Now go wash up and we’ll meet you in the kitchen.” Josh marched off toward the bathroom and I turned to Adam.
“That was very impressive.”
“It’s just a matter of negotiation, Lilith. Don’t ever accept the first offer.” He came over and put his arms around me, grabbing my bottom. “So, you think this kid naps?”
“Maybe we can drug him,” I suggested and Adam laughed.
Josh wasn’t a napper. In fact, he seemed to have boundless stores of energy. He was up for multiple rounds of hide and seek, tag, and chase Lily with a squirt bottle. Sparky liked that one too. To say Sparky was high-strung would be understatement.
“I think they should have named that dog Shaky,” Adam said, looking at Sparky and furrowing his brows.
“I think he’s actually vibrating,” I answered. “He seems pretty tense.”
“He’s a purebred pointer and he’s still got his balls. They probably only mate him on a certain schedule. I would be tense too.”
“Speaking of tense, you wouldn’t let me touch you when we were at your parents’ place but you had sex in their basement with Abby’s college roommate?”
“I was seventeen. I was more hard-up than Shaky over there.” At that moment, Sparky was busy humping a sofa pillow.
“So, because you’re not hard-up now, does that mean that you won’t want to have sex tonight because we’re in your sister’s house?”
“Who says I’m not hard-up? It’s been a whole week. If I don’t get some tonight I might wind up like him.” Sparky had ended his relationship with the pillow and moved on to a rubber tree plant. “He’s probably humped everything in this room. Maybe when I walk him later I’ll look the other way when we pass a cute girl dog.”
Chapter Fifteen
The rest of the day went pretty smoothly. Josh played. We entertained him. Adam made a decent dinner and I assisted.
Afterward, I cleaned up while he took Sparky for his walk. It was longer than twenty minutes and I suspected that Adam really had set out to get Sparky laid. When they got back Sparky seemed much calmer and suspiciously happy looking.
“You found that dog some tail didn’t you?” I asked as I put the last of the dishes in the dishwasher while Josh played in the living-room with his toy cars.
“Let’s just say that there might me some poodle pointer puppies in a few months.”
“A poodle? Oh please,” I said rolling my eyes.
“Hey, she was available and willing.”
“You guys all stick together.”
“So, am I going to get some tail later?” he asked coming up behind me and pushing his hips against me.
“I might be available and willing,” I answered rubbing my bottom against him.
“God, I’m horny,” he whispered in my ear.
“Mmm. Me too,” I replied, as he ran his hands all over me.
“Are you tickling Aunt Lily?” Josh asked from the doorway and we flew to opposite sides of the kitchen like a bomb had gone off between us.
“It’s almost time for a bath,” Adam announced a little too cheerfully.
“Can I bring my dump truck?”
“No dump truck, but we can play with other stuff,” Adam told him. “Aunt Lily will get your pajamas while I get you in the tub.”
I went off to Josh’s room to find his jammies and a book to read while Adam took him off to bathroom. By the time I had laid out everything for him he was happily splashing around in his bath. Adam was kneeling beside the tub with his sleeves rolled up, wiping Josh down with a wash cloth. It was so sweet that I got a lump in my throat.
“I have a penis,” Josh announced out of the blue, pointing down into the water.
“That’s because you’re a boy,” I explained sagely.
“Does Uncle Adam have a penis?”
“Oh yeah,” I said with a smile. Adam looked up at me and tried not to laugh.
“Does Elmo have a penis?”
“Uh, well …” He had stumped me.
“So what book do you want us to read you?” Adam interrupted.
“I found one called “Elmo Flies a Kite.” How about that one?” I asked.
“That’s a good one,” Josh confirmed. Fifteen minutes later, his teeth were brushed, he was dressed in his jammies and we were tucking him into bed. I sat down on the bed next to him and read him his Elmo book while Adam looked on smiling. Josh’s eyes gradually closed and we tiptoed out and shut off the light.
“That wasn’t so hard,” I said quietly.
“Not nearly as hard as Uncle Adam’s penis. Seeing you all maternal turned me on. Let’s go, baby,” he said taking my hand and heading for the guest bedroom.
“I’m glad it wasn’t the poodle encounter that did it.” Before we had even made to the door, a little voice called out.
“It’s dark! I want my nightlight.” Adam and I froze, looked at each other and went back in. I knew it couldn’t be that easy.
“I thought you were asleep, dude,” Adam said, sitting down beside Josh.
“I don’t like it too dark. My nightlight is over there.” He pointed and I went over and plugged in his Elmo nightlight. “Will you read me another book?”
Adam took a turn and after he read the Poky Little Puppy, Josh looked very sleepy but he was not, in fact, actually asleep. This wasn’t going well.
“Josh is something wrong?” I asked. “Are you sad because your Mommy and Daddy are somewhere else tonight?” I sat down on the other side of his bed and took his little hand in mine.
“Yes,” he said quietly. “Can I have some water?” Adam got up and went to go get Josh a drink. While he was gone I reassured Josh that his Mommy and Daddy would be back the next day and that there was nothing to worry about. Adam was back a minute later with the water.
“Here you go, buddy,” he said and Josh sat up and took a sip.
“I have to go potty,” he informed us.
“Okay,” Adam said with a sigh. “Let’s go.”
He led Josh off to the potty as I fidgeted and tried not to think about how much I wanted this kid to go to sleep. Josh was back a minute later and I read him a third book as Adam started to look more and more desperate. Finally, he drifted off. Thank God.
Adam and I tiptoed out again and headed for the guest room. We went in and quietly closed the door, pausing to listen for a moment. Silence. We smiled at each other and started kissing like starving dogs attacking a steak dinner. We hit the bed and he pushed up my shirt and began trailing kisses from my tummy up toward my breasts while I moaned quietly. Just as he was about to shove my bra out of the way, you guessed it, a little voice spoke from the doorway.
“Does Aunt Lily have a booboo?”
“What?!” Adam rolled off of me and looked at Josh like he wanted to cry.
“She’s making noises. Does she have a booboo? Are you kissing it to make it better?”
Luckily, we packed pajamas. Otherwise, it would have been either much less comfortable, or much more awkward, sleeping with Josh between us that night. We didn’t try to sneak out to another room, as neither one of us wanted to wake the adorable little boy who was anxious about his Mommy and Daddy being gone. Besides, there was always the next day. I laid there in bed that night with my Elmo Band-Aid on my stomach, feeling tired and horny. There was a little foot stuck in my ribs and a dog snoring and farting on the floor beside me. But I had a smile on my face because I knew that Adam and I could do this, and as long as we did it together, it would be wonderful.
Hannah and Nate were back by eleven the next morning, looking very happy and relaxed. They were thrilled with how well Adam and I had done with Josh and Sparky. I just hoped that Josh didn’t mention my booboo and that the poodle didn’t get knocked up.
Our anticipation got more intense as we got closer to our place – there I said it – our place. When we got in the door, Adam helped me off with my coat and I helped him off with his pants. We spent the next few hours in bed.
“That was worth waiting for,” he said, stretching. I was snuggled up with my cheek on his chest. “Have I mentioned that you’re great in bed?” He gently pushed my hair back away from my face and tucked it behind my ear.
“You’re great in bed too. Must be all the practice. Was Abby’s roommate your first sexual experience?”
“No. I lost my virginity when I was fifteen to one of the counselors at summer camp.”
“You’re kidding. While I was busy fighting off mosquitoes and learning Kumbaya in Hebrew you were getting laid? You bastard.”
“You didn’t miss much. I think I lasted about a minute. What about you? When did you lose your virginity?”
“Freshman year of college. The Earth didn’t move but at least it didn’t really hurt very much. I guess that’s something.”
“What would you have done if I had tried to kiss you when we were in high school?”
“I probably would have kissed you back.”
“Oh yeah? And what would you have done if I had tried to feel you up?”
“I think I would have let you. Even though you acted like a jerk to me, I still thought you were hot and I was a horny teenager.”
“Really?” he asked with a laugh. “And what would you have done if we were fooling around and I asked you to have sex with me?”
“I probably would have had the best minute of my life up until that point.”
“Oh my God. I could have had you in high school? I’m such an asshole.”
“It’s okay. I love you anyway and you can have me now whenever you want.”
Chapter Sixteen
The next few weeks were much the same. Work stress was manageable, but between my mom, Adam’s mom, and Mr. Jonathan calling, I started getting more and more tense. That meant, of course, that Adam started getting more and more exhausted. The poor man was sometimes servicing me two or three times a night, and that’s apparently not easy
for a twenty-seven year-old guy working a full-time job.
Both Braden and Mark noted that Adam was looking pretty worn out, and I suspected that they knew exactly why, as there seemed to be a lot of quiet joking going on. I will note for the record, however, that he was also looking very happy. He also did get a break the last week. We decided that we wanted the Las Vegas sex to be incredible, so we agreed to abstain from the Friday before we left, until the following Friday, which would be our first night there.
I found a gorgeous wedding dress, exactly the one I wanted, one that made me feel absolutely beautiful. It was strapless, with a mermaid cut that hugged my curves, a dipped neckline, and a V-cut back. It was sewn with beautiful Chantilly lace that was soft to the touch, and I matched it with a lovely veil that attached to the crown of my head and fell to the middle of my back. I remember the Saturday I tried it on at the wedding boutique. All of my girls were there, including Abby, and everyone was ‘oohing’ and ‘ahing’ as I spun around in the mirror.
“Oh, Lily,” Abby gushed. “I can’t wait to see Adam’s face when he sees you dressed in that. You look so beautiful.”
“Thank you,” I said grinning like a fool.
“I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you out of it too,” Gab said, wiggling her eyebrows. “Don’t forget to get pretty lingerie.”
“Too much information,” Abby said making a face.
“Finally, someone who knows how I feel!” Beth said laughing.
I also found the perfect flower arrangement for my bouquet, with pale pink dahlias, dark pink roses and white lilies. I found gorgeous engraved invitations, the perfect little Lenox picture frames for wedding favors, delicious menu items, and mimosas to drink. The band came highly recommended, and Mr. Jonathan promised me that they would be able to play Hava Nagila at the reception, so that everyone could dance the hora around Adam and me. I made sure that I approved every detail that one could possibly need to approve of for their dream wedding. It wasn’t easy, but I faced down two Jewish mothers and a gay wedding planner to get exactly what Adam and I wanted.