“What? Why? Did the hospital run you out?”
“No. The town did. It doesn’t matter. Look, I don’t want to blame the grandson, but I do want to be free of this. I did everything right.”
“I understand. There’s still a question about the tests too. The chest x-ray wasn’t received. That puts all this either on the hospital or the grandson. Or both. But not you. I’ll see about talking to the family’s attorney. Maybe this will make them drop it.”
“I don’t know. They might see me or the hospital as trying to blame them.” I didn’t the town thinking I’d retaliate by blaming the family.
“They can continue the lawsuit with the hospital. That doesn’t matter. As long as they drop your case, that’s all I’m hired to worry about.”
“Maybe I should call—”
“Don’t call your former employer about this, Nick. Let’s not get into a more complicated situation than this is already.”
I agreed, but I felt a little bit like I was betraying Mia by not giving her a heads up. Then again, hadn’t she stuck with the hospital when it was positioning me as the culprit? Just thinking that made me sound petty.
After my call, I sat out on the sun porch with the journal, trying to get my head straight. What I needed to do was decide what the fuck I wanted. That was easy. Mia. I wanted Mia. I needed Mia. I also needed a job. I couldn’t ask for my job back, because Mia was there. Maybe it was time I went into private practice like Eli and I had originally planned. Of course, I had to consider no one would want me as their doctor, even if I was cleared. Keddler had an urgent care center, maybe I could work there. It would be a commute, but it was doable.
“You look ready to go home,” my mother said as she came to sit with me.
“I’m getting there.”
“What’s the issue?” she asked.
“I’m unemployed and not sure I’ll have patients if I open a practice.”
She looked at my doodles and notes. “What about going back to the hospital?”
“I can’t. It’s against the rules for Mia to see me if I work there.”
Her attention snapped to me. “So, there is something again with you and Mia.”
“I hope so.”
My mother’s smile was wide. “I’m glad.”
“Maybe I can work in Keddler. Once my lawsuit is dropped—”
“Oh, is there a change? Goodness, so much is happening.”
“I don’t know actually, but I remembered something important that might help. If so, I should be able to get a job, although maybe not in Goldrush Lake. I’m not sure people’s opinion about me will change.”
“Maybe you and Mia could come down here. Los Angeles isn’t too far and I know she likes the city.”
“She needs to be with Jim now. In fact, I need to bring him down here. I promised him we could go see the bongo at the San Diego Zoo.”
“He could move too.”
I shook my head. “No. Eli is there. The store is there. Jane wanted them there.”
“She wants them together,” my mother said. “But I suppose it would be hard for Eli to leave. And the store is such a part of their family.” She patted my hand. “So, when are you leaving?”
“I still don’t have a job.”
“Nick, one thing I’ve learned is that it’s often easier to solve a problem when you’re able to actively get involved in it. You need to go home to get your life in order, not stay here.”
“You’re right,” I leaned over and kissed her cheek.
“Just one thing, Nick. For me.”
I had that uh-oh feeling. “What?”
“Find someone you can talk to up there. Maybe not in Goldrush Lake, but someone.”
“I will.” And I meant it. I wasn’t dumb enough to think one therapy session would cure me. I knew that some of my clarity and energy to move forward came from the one session I’d had. It would make sense to keep going.
“One more thing.”
“What?” I said, eager to research flights back up to Reno.
“You and Mia shouldn’t wait too long to give me a grandchild.”
I rolled my eyes. “Not there yet, Mom. She needs to love me too.”
“That’s a given, Nick. I mean, what’s not to love?”
34
Mia
I’d taken another two days off of work when I was released from the hospital. I said it was because I was still sore from the fall, but the truth was, I was heartbroken. I’d known I’d fallen for Nick again, but I hadn’t realized I was head over heels. His absence was made worse by the fact he hadn’t even bothered to say goodbye. I was told he called the hospital a few times to check on me, but why hadn’t he asked to speak to me? I couldn’t blame him for hitting his limit with the whole situation, but I was so hurt and angry at how he responded. Had he just cut us all out of his life?
With Nick away, it had been nice to be with my family. I’d been home for a while, but hadn’t really connected with them. Now, my life was back to normal. I was working during the day, and spending time with my dad, and Eli in the evenings, except when Eli worked late or was taking Dana out. I told myself, life was good, even though there was a glaring hole that I was pretty sure only Nick could fill in my heart and life.
I’d just come back to my office from having lunch when my phone rang.
“This is Victoria Manning. I represent Dr. Nick Foster.”
“Yes, Ms. Manning. How are you?” I couldn’t help but imagine her and Nick together even though I’d been told he was visiting his family, indefinitely.
“I’m fine, thank you. Nick asked that I give you some information that might help the hospital’s case regarding the death of Ms. Mason.”
“Oh.” My gut burned with anger and resentment that he couldn’t be bothered to tell me himself.
“If you review the EMR notes, you’ll see that he documented her report that she’d woken that morning not feeling well, and a little bit later asked her son to bring her in. Her arrival time is several hours after that. There’s enough in the record to show that, but Nick did tell me that she’d said her son asked her grandson to bring her in, and that he’d had to finish playing a video game and then brought her with him to visit a girlfriend before taking her to the hospital.”
I pulled up the EMR notes on Ms. Mason and could see where Nick had made timeline notes and indeed it appeared that it was several hours from when she indicated she wanted to go to the hospital before she arrived.
“I just received a report from an expert pathologist I asked to review the case, and he indicates that even if the tests were done right away, chances were good that it was too late by the time she arrived. In that case, it puts the issue of negligence on Ms. Mason’s son and grandson.”
“Nick is going to blame them?” That didn’t sound like Nick. Then again, why should he take the blame for something he didn’t do?
She made a sighing sound. “He doesn’t want to. He just wants to clear his name, but as you know, my job is to defend my client, as is your job.”
It definitely was compelling information.
“Of course, it’s difficult to prove that the tests would have been too late since they weren’t done. Any news on the IT person looking at your system?”
“I’m reviewing the report.” I wasn’t going to tell her the request for the chest x-ray had gone to the wrong department. If the family didn’t drop Nick from the lawsuit, then she’d eventually get the information as the case continued.
“I’ll be talking with the Mason family lawyer today and expect them to drop the charges on my client,” she said.
She sounded sure of herself. I pushed my annoyance at her aside, because in fact, this was good news. It meant that Nick would be free to come home. Maybe he could get his job back, although that would mean we couldn’t be together.
“I’m not sure that will be enough for the hospital, but it could help, and Nick wanted you to know.”
“I appreciate that, t
hank you.”
I sat back in my chair, processing what I’d heard. Legally, this could help the hospital case, but all I could think about was what it meant for Nick. And me. Would he come home? We’d had sex on my desk before all hell broke loose. We’d admitted that what was between us was more than just sex, although no words of love were said. Had he just been caught up in the moment? Or had the incident made him give up on us, and decide to leave to start over somewhere else? And why the hell wouldn’t he talk to me? The pain and anger from that made me want to throw something.
Instead, I rose from my chair and went to Dick’s office to let him know about Victoria Manning’s call.
“So, he’s getting out of it, huh?”
“He’s not getting out of anything. He’s not to blame.” I studied Dick wondering if he had a personal vendetta against Nick or just wanted a scapegoat.
“Can we use the same defense?” he asked.
“We can, but I’d be careful. For one, we wouldn’t want to come off as blaming her grandson. I’m not a PR person, but it seems to me telling a young man he killed his grandmother is harsh—”
“And yet true.”
“It will make the hospital look like assholes, excuse my language. And there’s still the issue of the EMR not sending the chest x-ray order to the right place.”
He shook his head dismissing the error. “The pathology report suggests it wouldn’t have mattered.”
“But it isn’t conclusive.”
“What do you suggest then?” He tapped his pen on his blotter, a sure sign that he was agitated.
“I can talk to the family’s attorney. They’ll know about the delay in getting her to the hospital, and perhaps drop the case against the hospital on their own. If they don’t, we should hire an outside pathologist to review everything and see if they can come up with a more conclusive answer to whether or not the tests would have made a difference.”
“And if it’s still inconclusive.”
“Perhaps look at a settlement,” I said, knowing it would go over well.
“The idea is to come out not looking guilty or to pay.”
“A settlement will be cheaper if there’s any chance the blame can be put on the hospital due to an EMR glitch.”
“That should be the EMR company’s responsibility,” he grumbled.
“It would be, at least partially, if you hadn’t indemnified it.”
He stood and went to look out the window of his office. “It could still be a human error.”
I wanted to reach out and throttle him. “That wouldn’t change the hospital’s liability. Besides Dr. Foster quit, you can’t hang this on him anymore.”
“We could—”
“No, you can’t. Any attempt to try will again, make this hospital look like it’s trying to avoid its responsibility. I just spent two days as a patient here because people thought you were trying to hide the truth and not accept responsibility.”
“We hired you to avoid these types of things—”
“No, you hired me to represent you in legal matters. But when the hospital makes a mistake, like anyone else, it needs to be held to account. Lawyers aren’t miracle workers.”
His eyes narrowed at me. “You know, there’s a rumor that you and Dr. Foster were having an affair … speaking of accountability. Maybe you’ve been working to protect him and pin this whole thing on the EMR so the hospital would have to pay.”
I should have been worried by that statement. Instead, I was pissed. “You’re a piece of work, you know that? Just because your thought process is to blame others doesn’t mean others operate that way. Nick got his own lawyer because he knew I couldn’t help him.”
“Your legal responsibility is to me.”
“No, my fiduciary responsibility is to this hospital.”
“And yet you were having an affair—”
“Whether I was or not, it doesn’t change that your EMR system failed and possibly led to the death of Ms. Mason. I wonder if the hospital board will do better at trying to protect you than you did in protecting Dr. Foster and your staff.”
“I should fire you—”
“You don’t have to. I quit.” I turned and left. I was feeling strong and confident in my rash decision until I reached my office, and then my legs felt like jelly. I closed my door, sagging against it wondering what the hell I’d just done? There weren't any other legal jobs in Goldrush Lake for a lawyer with an expertise in medical law. Without a job, I’d have to move back home with my father, which I suppose wouldn’t be too bad. Nick did say my dad was going to need more help. It would save on hiring someone. I wondered if Eli would be able to support us all.
I wrote up a letter of resignation that included some additional information about Dick that the board might want to consider. It was probably petty, but a man like him could hurt the hospital in a way that a lawyer couldn’t protect. His adamancy about the EMR not being to blame made me wonder if he’d been the one to push that particular system on the hospital. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that the hospital board know the situation.
I packed my bag, and on my way out, dropped my letter with the HR people to give to the board. I left the hospital without saying goodbye because I didn’t want to deal with the questions. Now I could understand why Nick had left without a word.
I also understood why he went to see his parents, as the first stop I made was to my dad’s house.
“How’s my girl?” my father said, as I came in.
“Unemployed.”
His brows shot up. “What happened?”
I sat on a chair near his recliner. “I got mad and quit.”
“I see.” He stared at me like he wasn’t sure how to respond.
“I can’t represent a hospital that will toss its hard-working staff under the bus.”
“Is that what it was doing?”
“It looks like Nick has a good a good chance that the Mason family will drop charges, but the hospital was still looking for ways to blame him.”
My father’s face lit up. “Nick will be cleared?”
I smiled, because my father’s smile reminded me of what was important. “He has a good case. It remains to see if the family accepts it. That doesn’t take the hospital off the hook though. Unless a pathologist can … well, I can’t go into details. It’s possible the hospital could still be liable, but it won’t accept it. It was unprofessional of me to quit. It’s not like I haven’t represented assholes before, but I just … snapped.”
“You love Nick and you don’t like to see someone out to get him.”
I sagged back in my chair. “Yeah well, now I have no job and no prospects for a job.”
My dad patted my hand. “I have faith it will all work out. You could work with Eli. He’s setting up some sort of Internet thing.”
“Maybe I could just hang out with you and watch about boingos.”
“It’s bongos.”
“See, I have lots to learn.”
My father laughed. “You’ll be all right Mia. The answers aren’t in front of you at the moment, but you have to trust they’ll come.”
“You don’t think it was stupid to quit like that?”
“Not stupid. Not smart, but sometimes drastic measures are required. I quit my counseling practice before I had the store. Your mother wanted to box my ears I’m sure, but she knew that somehow it would work out, and it did.”
I admired my father’s ability to see the positive. Things didn’t work out for him in the end, since my mother died, but he didn’t seem to see it like that. I wondered how’d he’d been able to go on without her. I was pining away for Nick, and he wasn’t gone. I could go to San Diego and see him if I wanted to. I could tell him how I was feeling, starting with how pissed I was for his leaving.
“Things will work out for you too, Mia. And Nick as well.”
35
Nick
For the first time in a while, I felt energized. Like I had the confidence I needed t
o take my life back, even though I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. The flight back to Reno took forever. I got my car out of long-term parking and made my way to Victoria’s office. We reviewed my case and she seemed to agree that it could be enough to encourage the Mason family to drop me from the lawsuit. I asked her to call Mia and let her know. Yes, I was still avoiding Mia, but I’d see her soon. I didn’t want to talk to her until I had a better sense of where my life was and what I’d be able to offer her.
I left Victoria’s office and went directly to the psychiatrist’s office that I’d called and made an appointment with before I left San Diego. The idea that talking about problems would make them go away still baffled me, but I couldn’t deny that one visit with a counselor had reframed some of my thoughts and re-energized me. I wasn’t cured, but if I was to have any peace, this felt like the answer.
That meeting didn’t have me leaving with any great epiphanies, but I didn’t feel worse. I set up a standing weekly visit, and walked out with a few new tools, beyond the journal, to help me if I felt an episode coming on. The psychiatrist did encourage me to get back into medicine if that was my end goal.
“It is easier to deal with difficulties if you don’t have to experience them, but if you want to practice medicine, you need to learn how to handle them while in the thick of it. It’s like the proverbial horse. You have to get back on. With a few coping skills, you’ll be able to desensitize the experiences, and have fewer episodes.”
I had to trust that was true. I wanted it to be true and would work to make it so.
I drove back to Goldrush Lake, enjoying the beauty of the mountains and fresh air. As I entered the outskirts, I had a tingle of anxiety in my lower spine. The last time I was here, a group of people wanted to string me up and ended up hurting Mia. Did they still feel that way? Would they always feel that way, even if it was proven that I wasn’t negligent or the cause of Ms. Mason’s death? If so, could I continue to live there, even if Mia gave me a chance?
I shook my head. One thing at a time, Foster. I spent the next few days holed up at home, looking at my options, and making plans. I realized the job prospect was going to take longer than I wanted to wait. I needed to see Mia. So, I upped the plan to put that in action.
Heart of Hope: Books 1-4 Page 22