I felt numb as I shoved the card in my sweatpants’ pocket. “Thank you.”
I didn’t respond to Devin’s calls or texts that night or the next day. I didn’t show up at the airport when he left. Within a month, I began to feel like maybe I’d be able to put him in the past. And then I discovered I was pregnant.
1
Serena—Five Years Later
Life can change in an instant. One impulsive action can rewrite the trajectory of a life. For me, it had been getting caught up in Devin Roarke. One minute I was a college student studying business with the goal of a corporate job and the next I was planning to run off to Europe with a man I’d only just met. That short encounter changed everything that would happen in my life from then on.
I looked in on Andrew, the sweet child borne from that impulsive week. I wasn’t complaining about the impact he had on my life. While I’d been terrified to learn I was pregnant, I couldn’t regret that it had happened.
My parents were disappointed and even suggested I consider adoption for my unborn child. Of course, once he was here, he gave new joy to all of us. My mother retired from teaching to help me care for him as I set out with my degree to find work.
Lucky for me, I got a job at an events planning firm. It turned out I was good at it, and with Nikita Wilson as my mentor, in five years, I had my own office and my own team. My clients were mid-level status, but I was working my way to the big-time celebrities and hotshot businessmen.
With Andrew still sleeping soundly, I hurried through the morning routine I developed when he was one and I committed myself to achieving success and giving him the best life possible without his father’s family’s money.
I meditated for ten minutes, read something inspiring, journaled, and did thirty minutes on the treadmill. The exercise wasn’t about my weight, as I was still a big girl. The short morning workout helped me keep up with a four-year-old boy. I showered and then went back to his room.
“Drew, Drew…time to get up,” I said leaning over him.
His arm snaked out from under his sheet and wrapped around my neck. “I want pancakes.”
I laughed. “Maybe Grandma will make you some. I’ve got toast and peanut butter with a glass of milk for you.”
His eyes popped open. They were an unusual mixture of green and blue. Almost like my and Devin’s eye color were mixed together. He had my dark hair, but Devin’s features were strong in the shape of Andrew’s face. Like his father, Andrew would be handsome. I hoped he wouldn’t be as cocky or irresponsible with people’s hearts.
I left him to get dressed in the clothes I’d left out for him, going to the kitchen to fix his breakfast and get a second cup of coffee for myself. I’d been lucky to find the tiny one-bedroom apartment in my parents building in the East Village not far from Tompkins Square Park. It had a little nook that I was able to turn into a room for Andrew. My parents lived one floor down in a two-bedroom. All in all, things turned out well despite my impulsive behavior five years ago.
Even so, I wasn’t impulsive now. I learned how rash decisions could impact a life, and now that I was a mother, I couldn’t afford to have anything happen to hurt the safety and security I’d built for me and Andrew.
Andrew ran to the table with his toy airplane making jet noises. He grinned up at me, and in that sweet face, I saw the same smile as his father. In times like this, I wondered what Devin would do if he knew about Andrew. Would he deny being the father? Would he try to shirk his responsibility? Would he want to take Andrew away from me? Would he be happy?
Most people, including my parents, believed Andrew was the result of one night of a nameless hookup. It wasn’t so far from the truth and so it had been an easy secret to keep. If people knew the truth, they’d either hate me for keeping Andrew a secret from his father or wonder why I wasn’t going after him for money.
I knew keeping Andrew from Devin wasn’t a nice thing to do. The truth was, I’d tried to reach him, but he had a new phone number in Europe, which meant I had to seek out his mother to get his contact information. I hadn’t wanted to tell her about the baby, but she’d left me no choice as she refused to give any information. Even after knowing I was pregnant, she didn’t give it to me.
To say she reacted badly was an understatement. She tried to say he wasn’t the father, but I told her a DNA test would prove that he was. She must have believed me because she then offered me an obscene amount of money to go away and never speak of the issue again. She said that Devin was building his life in Europe and hadn’t mentioned me once since leaving, so clearly, I wasn’t important to him.
I realized then that I was on my own. I passed on the money, and instead decided to raise Andrew on my own. I didn’t want him to be around people who were so ruthless and uncaring about others.
“Mommy, how do airplanes stay in the sky?” Andrew set his plane on the table and took a bite of his peanut butter toast.
“It has to do with thrust and airflow,” I said trying to remember high school physics.
“From the engine?”
“Yes. And how the air goes around the wings. We can get a book at the library if you want.”
“Grandma is taking me to the library,” he said with a mouth of toast.
“Be sure to get a book. You can show me tonight when I get home from work.”
“’k.”
Twenty minutes later, I dropped him off at my parents’ apartment, and then took the subway up to midtown to my job.
I was just putting my purse in my desk when Nikita poked her head in my door. “I’ve got something for you.”
“Oh?” I waved her in.
“I’ve been planning that party for Tony Gallagher,” she said of the standards crooner of the 1960s who was having a resurgence in popularity after his music was featured in a blockbuster film. “Mari has the flu and Jacob is still out on family leave,” she said of two people on her team.
“So you need some people from my team?” I asked, sitting at my desk and taking a sip of the fancy coffee I bought. Expensive coffee was my one indulgence.
“I want you and your team. Can you meet me at Roarke’s this afternoon?”
I tried to keep my face impassive, but I was sure I flinched. It happened every time I heard the name Roarke.
The NYC restaurant owned by Devin’s family was so fancy-schmancy that I’d yet to be involved in any events there because my clientele wasn’t quite that rich. The few that were that wealthy were younger, and while Roarke’s was for the elite, it was for the older elite. The rumor was Devin was changing that in their European establishments and that he’d opened a few clubs in an attempt to cater to the younger crowd. But here in New York, Roarke’s was still something for older, richer people.
My instinct was to say, “No,” but if my career was to continue its upward momentum, I needed this experience and the connections I could make. Devin was still in Europe, and I was certain that Mrs. Roarke wouldn’t remember me if she happened to be at the restaurant.
“Yes, of course. Wow. Roarke’s.”
“We’ve got most everything set up, but I need to walk through with Roarke’s staff, and this is a big deal, so I’d love it if you could attend. I want our top, top people there making sure the event goes over. Gallagher has lots of friends who have lots of friends. It comes from over fifty years in the biz.”
I nodded. “Absolutely.”
She handed me a binder. “Everything we’ve done so far is in there. I’ll see you around three? Bring your team too.”
“I will. Thank you, Nikita. I appreciate your including me.”
She smiled. “You’ll have my job before long. Just wait until I retire before taking it though.”
I laughed. “No one would take your job.”
I busied myself through the day to distract myself, but it was no use. I couldn’t stop worrying about walking into Roarke’s. Chances were no one would know or remember me, so it was crazy to be worried and yet I was.
&nbs
p; At three o’clock, I stepped out of the elevator on to the thirtieth floor where Roarke’s overlooked the Manhattan skyline and a perfect view of the Empire State Building. The restaurant was elegant, making me think of a private men’s club with dark leather chairs, dark walls accented with gold. It had an outdoor terrace and several event rooms.
I made my way to the larger of the rooms that had its own terrace where Mr. Gallagher’s party would be.
“Ah, there you are Rena. I’m just finalizing the menu with Alison here,” Nikita said waving me over. “Here’s a list of things that you and your team to check out.”
She handed me a folder. The first item had to do with seating set up for the outdoor area. “Let’s look this over on the terrace,” I said to my little team of three.
We stepped outside into the chilly air.
“What if it rains or snows? Isn’t it a little cold for an outdoor event?” Debbie asked as we all pulled our coats around us in the chilly February air.
“They’ve got outdoor heaters, but I’ll check on rain or snow,” I said. We spent the next twenty minutes going through the list of items. Nikita was the best at the job, so there weren’t any issues that needed us to troubleshoot or fix.
When we were done, I sent my team back to the office while I hunted down Nikita again to let her know all was well.
I stepped into the large room and immediately, the hairs on my arms stood up as I walked into Devin Roarke.
“Excuse me,” he said, his voice as deep and velvety as I remembered.
“I’m sorry,” I said looking down and stepping away from him. I made a b-line to Nikita, hoping he didn’t recognize me. When I reached her, I glanced at where he’d been. He stood in the doorway; his eyes narrowed toward me as if he was trying to place me.
Asshole, I thought as I turned my attention to Nikita. I remembered every moment of our time together, and he clearly didn’t remember me. Then again, I didn’t want him to remember me. I turned my attention to Nikita because I didn’t need him figuring out who I was. I worked to ignore him as he talked to his staff, but it was hard because I was dying to get a better look.
Finally, Nikita thanked me and sent me back to the office. I headed out of the event room, trying not to look like I was running away. I’d just made it to the elevator when Devin stepped in front of me.
He gave me that affable smile he’d used to seduce me five years ago. “You don’t remember me, do you?”
2
Devin
When I was first told by my father to go to Europe, I didn’t want to go. The only thing that had made the prospect better was when Serena said she’d come with me. Then she didn’t show up at the airport and she didn’t return my calls.
Five years later, when I was told to come back to New York City, I didn’t want to come. I’d made a life for myself in Europe. I’d not only had the freedom to bring the Roarke establishments into the modern age, but also, I’d built clubs next door to the London and Dublin restaurants that were designed to attract a younger crowd who wanted a high-quality experience but weren’t in the top one percent socioeconomic status. I was currently scouting a location for a Paris club. My father hated the idea of the clubs, but stopped balking when the profits started rolling in.
Even so, I had no illusions that he’d allow me to build a club in New York. Coming home would be returning to life under my parents’ thumb. I’d often thought I’d never have children, but on the flight back to take my father’s place at the helm of the Roarke empire, I’d vowed it wouldn’t happen. I didn’t want to have to put my kid in the same position of living a life established by Paddy Roarke nearly a century before. My grandfather, my father, and now I had lives predestined to run the Roarke business. From now on, my sister would have to bear the kids that would take over the company.
What I hadn’t counted on was seeing Serena. Did I ever think of her? Sure. A lot at first. Less often as the years went by, except perhaps when I was jerking off. At first, I’d been hurt and then pissed when she ghosted me. Then I was just baffled. What the hell had happened? Had her parents stopped her? Had mine? No, it couldn’t have been mine. I hadn’t told them about Serena or our plans. I hadn’t told anyone but my sister and Danny. Neither of them would have snitched on me.
Normally, I wouldn’t be the one meeting with the event planner for an event at the Roarke, but I’d only been back a week, and this event was for a well-known celebrity, at least by the older crowd. I wanted to see firsthand how the Roarke organized events and worked with event planning firms. Imagine my surprise to look up and see Serena as part of the event organizer team.
I had the same reaction I had the first time I saw her; like a zap of electricity. And like that first time, I worked to pinpoint what it was about her that affected me. Last time, I’d settled on her eyes and her no-bullshit personality. She was real and she wasn’t intimidated by my family’s status or wealth. There was no sucking up to try and finagle a marriage or business proposition from me, as most women I met did. What I’d seen was exactly who she was. Or maybe not because I hadn’t counted on her disappearing on me.
She stared at me for a second and then turned away, so I wasn’t sure she recognized me. On the one hand, my ego didn’t like that I was forgettable. On the other hand, I had to laugh at my own arrogance. Clearly, what had happened between five years ago affected me more than her.
Even so, I wasn’t going to let her get away without finding out why she ghosted on me. So, when her boss excused her, I followed her to the elevators.
I smiled so she wouldn’t think I was pissed about her disappearance, and asked, “You don’t remember me, do you?”
She looked at me with those amazing blue eyes. I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen eyes quite that color of blue.
“Yes, of course, Mr. Roarke, I remember you.”
I quirked a brow. “Mr. Roarke? You didn’t call me that before. Are you sure you remember?” The old me would have added a comment about taking her to a hotel to remind her who I was, but I’d grown up a little since then. Now I might still think it, but I kept it to myself.
She glanced behind me to where her boss was talking to my staff. She turned her attention back to me. “I’m working right now.”
I nodded. “Okay. How about a drink? We can catch up.”
“Thank you but I can’t. Still working.” She looked up at the lighted numbers over the elevator. I got the feeling she was willing the car to show up faster. Didn’t she know I’d just get in it with her?
“After work. It doesn’t have to be here. And it can be coffee if you don’t want a drink drink.”
She kept looking at the numbers over the elevator. “I appreciate the offer, but I have plans.”
“Tomorrow?”
“Then too.”
I put my hands on my hips and studied her. Yes, it was arrogant of me to feel like this shouldn’t be this hard. Most women said yes to me for anything and everything I asked. But I decided it was character building to have to work for it, so I kept on.
“If you’re not going to meet with me, then you’ll have to tell me right here, right now, why you ghosted me.”
Her eyes closed as if I’d asked the one thing that she didn’t want to tell me. When she opened them again, I could see I was going to get the same brush off.
“I’m sorry about that. We were both so young and impulsive,” she said.
“That doesn’t take the sting of rejection away.”
She looked down, and I hoped she felt bad. “I’m sorry. I handled it wrong. But now, we’re older and surely, looking back, you can see it for what it was.”
“What was it?” I pushed her even though I was pretty sure I didn’t want to hear her dismiss what we had. Yes, it was impulsive. Yes, we were young. But I’d cared for her. At the time, I was sure I loved her.
“A hook-up.”
Fuck. I was right. I didn’t want to hear that. “You don’t feel it was a little more than that?”
&
nbsp; “At the time, sure, it felt like more, but we were in the middle of it.” She cocked her head to the side. “You can’t tell me you pined too long. Or didn’t have someone in the wings ready to take my place.”
Her words felt like they had weight. Like she thought I was cheating or had moved on quickly. Had I fucked other women since her? Yes. But it hadn’t happened quickly, and I hadn’t had the same feeling with them as I’d had with her.
“It sounds like you want me to be the bad guy here. Once you lost your virginity, how long was it before you went out with another man? Were you curious to experience the size of other dicks?” The minute I said it, I regretted it. It was petty. But dammit, there was only so much my ego could take.
Her eyes flashed with heat reminding me of the times I was thrusting inside her, watching her as she rode the edge of an orgasm. Of course, this time she wasn’t hot from pleasure, but from anger.
“You’re one to talk, Devin.”
Huh? “What is it you’re accusing me of, Serena?”
All of a sudden, she straightened to attention.
“Everything okay here?” her boss asked as she approached us.
“Yes, of course,” Serena said. When the door to the elevator opened, she hurried in. “It was good to see you again, Mr. Roarke.”
I nodded. “You too, Ms…” Fuck what was her last name?
She smirked at me as the doors closed.
Moore. Fuck it was Moore. I wanted to poke the button and chase her down to let her know I hadn’t forgotten. She wasn’t just some random short-term hook-up in a long line of hook-ups.
“Mr. Roarke?”
I sighed and turned toward the chef. “Yes, chef.”
After dealing with the chef, I finished my business at the Roarke, and then I scouted a location a few doors down from the Roarke building for the potential of a club. My dad would balk, but if I was going to be taking over the business, then I was going in all the way. He’d had his run, now it was my turn.
Heart of Hope: Books 1-4 Page 27