Heart of Hope: Books 1-4

by Williams, Ajme

  “I’ll be there,” he said standing.

  “Come on Maisie,” I said holding out my hand. She trotted to me, taking my hand, and I led her out the door.

  I secured Maisie in the booster seat in the backseat of my car and then drove us to school.

  “Will you be my teacher next year?” she asked as I pulled into the parking lot of school.

  “No, honey, but I know you’ll love whatever teacher you have. I know all the first-grade teachers and they’re great.”

  “I wish you would be my teacher.”

  I smiled at her through the rear-view mirror. “I wish I could be, too. I still have my own school to finish.”

  “You’re too old for school.”

  I parked the car. “You’re never too old to learn, Miss Maisie.” I helped her out of the car and walked with her to the classroom. I set the brownies over by the goodies the other kids had brought in as Maisie put her lunch box in her cubby.

  That morning, Mrs. Anderson spent circle time reviewing the year with the kids and how much they learned. I led an art project that involved compiling some of the art and work they did throughout the year into a book with a construction paper cover.

  After lunch, I put out the goodies while Mrs. Anderson took the kids outside to play.

  “Am I early?”

  I looked up to see Dylan walking into the classroom. Like always, the sight of him made my breath stall in my chest.

  “The kids are at recess but will be back in a few minutes.” I set out paper plates and napkins.

  “Can I help?”

  “I’m going to run to the teacher’s room to get the drinks. Can I trust you not to eat the yum yums?”

  He flashed a sexy smile. “Probably not.”

  “I’ll chance it.” I hurried to the teachers lounge to get the juice boxes from the refrigerator and brought them back to the classroom. When I arrived back, the kids were in from their recess, and Dylan had been recruited to read them a story as Mrs. Anderson finished setting up for the party.

  “Here are the drinks,” I said as I handed one out to each child.

  “Have you ever noticed how out of place Mr. Hyatt looks here at school until Maisie’s with him?” Mrs. Anderson said under her breath when I finished passing out the juice and stood with her by her desk.

  I frowned, not sure what she was getting at.

  “Most of the time he looks like a badass, and then when Maisie’s there, he goes all soft.”

  I wouldn’t say badass, although there was often something under the surface of Dylan that hinted at darkness. She was spot-on about him going all soft around Maisie though, so I nodded. “He’s a doting father.”

  A few moms entered the classroom, and we got the party started. I watched from across the room as Dylan ate brownies and drank juice with Maisie while she showed him the book that she’d made that morning. It was such a shame that he wouldn’t be sharing the love that clearly filled his heart with others. He had so much to give, and it was sad that Veronica had ruined him on love and having a bigger family.

  When the party was over, Dylan left along with the other parents, and we finished the day with the children. It was sad to say goodbye to the kids and Mrs. Anderson when the day was over. I hoped that I’d be able to stay in town to finish school in the fall so I could at least see them around town.

  After school, I loaded Maisie up in my car and took her to the park. “It’s summer vacation,” I said. “Time to play!”

  “Yay!” At the park, Maisie spent most of the time on the swings. She clearly loved the feel of the wind on her face. Or maybe it was the feeling of flying.

  When we got home, I went through the kitchen looking for what to make for dinner. “How about spaghetti?” When I didn’t get a reply, I sought her out and found her curled up asleep on the couch.

  She was still there forty-five minutes later when Dylan walked in.

  “Is she sick?” Worry crossed his face as he saw that Maisie was asleep.

  “Just tired from the day. I’ve got spaghetti for you two.”

  He knelt by Maisie, brushing his hand over her forehead as if he was feeling for a temperature. Clearly he didn’t believe me, but I wasn’t offended. I found his love for Maisie endearing.

  “Hi Daddy,” Maisie’s sleepy voice said.

  “Hey lazy Maisie. Do you feel okay?”

  She nodded. “I’m hungry.”

  “Tessa says she has spaghetti.”

  Maisie wrapped her arms around Dylan’s neck and he stood holding her. “Can she stay and eat with us?”

  He looked over at me. “If she wants to.”

  I often felt like an intruder when he invited me to stay, and yet I couldn’t ever leave when invited. In most cases, I stayed to eat with them a few nights a month, but over the course of the following week, Maisie asked if I could stay every night. She and I spent all day together playing, going on outings, and even making dinner together. I declined to eat with them a few nights even though I wanted to stay. It was probably a bad sign, how attached I was to the both of them, and I’d need to deal with that especially if I was going to leave at the end of the summer.

  Even so, at night alone in my bed, sometimes I’d let my mind wander to the fantasy of being more than Maisie’s babysitter. I knew I’d never replace her mother, but I could be more than just the sitter to the both of them if they’d let me. But Dylan had been clear when he said marriage and more kids weren’t in his future. There were some days when I thought I might try to change his mind, but I quickly dismissed that idea. I knew Dylan appreciated and respected me. Maybe he even cared about me, but it was as his babysitter. He’d shown through his marriage to Veronica that he liked gorgeous sophisticated women. I wasn’t ugly, but I wasn’t supermodel material. I was smart and educated, but not worldly. No, he’d never be interested in me.

  4

  Dylan

  Fridays at the gym weren’t as busy as other days out here in the ‘burbs. I guess people started their weekend early. The gym closer to New York City was actually the opposite; it was packed on Fridays. It was one of the many trends I tracked at all five of my gym locations. Regardless of lower attendance on Fridays, all my gyms did well. While I made monthly trips to each location, I spent most of my time at the one here at home, partly because it was the first, but also to stay near Maisie in case something happened and she needed me. Not that I didn’t trust Tessa, because I did. Whether she left this fall or next year, I was going to miss her. I was certain I wouldn’t find anyone as caring toward Maisie. When I watched them together, it wasn’t just a babysitter and a child. The two of them were bonded. I knew it would be hard for me to see her go, but it would be even harder for Maisie.

  But as the saying went, all good things must come to an end. My marriage had. In fact, my marriage ended long before Veronica walked out to pursue her dream of becoming a model. She wasn’t suited to domestic life, something that hadn’t been apparent until Maisie was born. I couldn’t completely resent Veronica, because without her, I wouldn’t have Maisie. But for the life of me, I couldn’t understand how she could so easily flit in and out of Maisie’s life. The truth was, Tessa was more of a mother to Maisie than Veronica ever was. Someday, Tessa would meet a man and start a family. He’d be one lucky son of a bitch. I envied him already.

  I shook my head of that idea. Tessa was a hell of a woman, but not for me.

  “Counting your pennies?”

  Startled, I looked up from the papers on my desk to see Veronica standing in the office doorway.

  “Veronica.” I stood and went to her, giving her a hug as I always did. She still smelled like expensive French perfume. Her dark hair was down looking tousled but in a purposeful way. Like she’d paid hundreds of dollars for a slightly messy look that Tessa got naturally.

  “Surprise,” she said, kissing me on the cheek. It wasn’t unusual for her to sweep in unannounced. Normally she breezed in like she owned the world. Today, there was someth
ing off. Like she was nervous.

  “Do you want coffee or water or something?” I motioned for her to sit in one of the chairs near my desk.

  “No, thank you.”

  I pulled the other chair near her. “How long are you in town?”

  “For a while, actually. I got married,” she blurted with a sheepish smile as she held up her left hand to flash a sizable rock. My gut clenched, but not at the idea that the woman I once thought I’d spend forever with was married to another man. No, I was bothered by the idea of Maisie having a stepfather.

  “Congratulations,” I said without much effect. I estimated that the engagement ring alone was five carats, which told me her new husband had money.

  “He’s really great, Dyl. I want you to meet him.”

  “Of course.” If she thought I was going to let Maisie go with her without meeting him, she had another thing coming.

  “The thing is, I plan to be around more, which means I’ll be able to spend more time with Maisie.”

  I supposed it was better late than never. My brain told me it was good for Maisie to be able to see her mother more often, but I didn’t like the idea of sharing Maisie more. “She’ll be glad to hear that. She just finished kindergarten last week.”

  “What? How can she possibly be that old?” She said it the way most parents did, lamenting on how quickly their kids grew up.

  There was an awkward silence for a moment. “Leo is out in the gym now. I wanted to talk to you first. I was hoping we could have lunch together and then we could take Maisie back to New York City for the weekend.”

  I inhaled a quick breath. It seemed like I’d need more than a lunch to vet Maisie’s new stepdad. At the same time, I had to give Veronica props for knowing that I needed meet her new man. As vain and shallow as she could be, she did seem to understand and respect me where Maisie was concerned.

  “Let’s start with lunch and see where it goes.”

  She nodded, “I know you’ll like him, Dylan. He’s good to me.”

  I was good to you, I thought but didn’t say. Of course, “good” was relative. I treated her well, but didn’t spend all my money on her. Chances were, this guy was rich and good to her financially.

  As it turned out, we were both right. Leo Dalton was at least fifteen years older than Veronica, and while I was financially well-off, he was clearly a one-percenter. With that said, he presented well. Friendly. Attentive. Interested. My only concern was that Veronica was his third wife, and he had no children. I wondered if I could send Tessa with them to watch over Maisie.

  After lunch, we drank coffee and talked.

  “We’d really like to bring Maisie back to the city. I’d like to take her to a show and have her get to know Leo,” Veronica said, putting her hand over Leo’s. When we first gotten together in college, she was all over me, but by the time we married, the only time she displayed affection was when we were fucking. The fact that she was openly connecting with Leo suggested their marriage was genuine. I had no doubt she married him for his money, but that apparently wasn’t the only reason.

  I couldn’t think of a good reason to tell her no to the visit. I had full physical custody of Maisie, but Veronica had legal and visitation rights.

  Reluctantly, I nodded.

  “I can see this is difficult for you,” Leo said.

  “It’s not you … I just …”

  “Maisie is Dylan’s whole life,” Veronica said. It was true, but her tone made it sound pathetic.

  “Well, now you can have some time to yourself. Get out and live a little.”

  I frowned at Leo. “My life is just fine.”

  Veronica patted Leo’s hand again, probably to tell him to shut up. “It’s been nearly a year since I’ve seen—”

  “That’s not my fault.” I was getting agitated, which I hated. I needed to stay in control here.

  “I know. I was working hard over the last year. And I loved it, but now I want to slow down some. And I want to see Maisie now that she’s becoming her own person.”

  What the fuck did that mean? She didn’t want to be with her own daughter until she could hold a conversation?

  “I’ll call home and have Tessa pack her a bag.” My gut burned at the idea of letting Maisie go. Not that I worried they hurt her, but I didn’t like being away from Maisie. I was her father, dammit. It was my job to keep her safe and happy.

  “Tessa? Is she—?”

  “She’s Maisie’s … nanny.” Babysitter didn’t sound as professional or rich. I scoffed at myself for getting sucked up in a money contest with Leo. I had more money than I needed, but I’d lose if I went up against Leo financially.

  “Does she live in?” Veronica asked. Why the hell did she care?

  “Next door. She and a few of her friends rent the property next door.”

  Veronica shook her head. “I can’t believe you still live in that little house.”

  “It has everything Maisie and I need.” I finished my coffee, hoping I could keep myself from sounding defensive.

  “You never needed much, did you?” Veronica smiled as if she was being friendly.

  “Just a family.”

  She flinched.

  “Let me call Tessa.” I stood and excused myself as I pulled out my phone. I walked outside the restaurant and pushed the speed dial for Tessa’s number.

  “Hello?” She picked up the phone on the second ring.

  “Tessa, it’s Dylan.”

  “Yes, hi. Is everything okay?”

  I could hear the din of voices and splashing that indicated they were at the pool.

  “Yes. Maisie’s mother is in town and wants Maisie to spend the weekend with her. Can you pack her a bag and have her ready in an hour or so?”

  There was a pause on the line that made me wonder what she was thinking. “Yes, of course. I didn’t realize she was coming or I’d have—”

  “She just showed up. That’s what she does.”

  “Oh … okay. We’re at the pool, but I’ll pack us up and head home. How many days will she be gone?”

  “Just the weekend. In the city … New York,” I clarified.

  “Nice things then?”

  For reasons I didn't understand, I found that humorous. “Yes.” She didn’t know Veronica and yet somehow understood Maisie would need to be well-dressed and groomed so that she fit in with Veronica and her rich husband. “I’ll see you in an hour.”

  I hung up the phone and took a moment to get my irritation under control. The truth was, Veronica and Leo hadn’t done anything wrong. My annoyance was all about having to share Maisie. That, and the idea that Veronica wanted to settle down. That would mean more visits with Maisie … more sharing. I knew that was good for Maisie, but I couldn’t stop the feelings of resentment and anger. Maisie was mine, dammit.

  With a final deep breath, I headed back into the restaurant. Veronica and Leo were sitting, their heads close together in discussion. Leo’s eyes shone with affection, as did Veronica’s. At least they truly cared about each other, I thought. For a moment, I was jealous. Not of Leo, but of the both of them. They had what I thought I’d have when I married Veronica. She found it in someone else. I suppose someone would say I could find it with another woman too, but no. I’d had my life squashed by the hope of love all through my childhood and then by Veronica. Today I was smarter. I wouldn’t let my heart be trampled again.

  “Tessa and Maisie are at the pool, but heading home. Why don’t you stop by in an hour to pick her up? She’ll be ready then.”

  “What will we do for an hour?” Leo asked.

  I wanted to make a snarky remark about how small communities had things to offer, but I bit my lip.

  “We can take a walk on the river. It’s a beautiful day for it,” Veronica said. I wondered if she’d take him to the spot where I’d fucked her for the first time in college. I shook my head at that thought. Stop being a dick, I told myself.

  “There are new benches along the path,” I said.
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  “Sounds lovely.” Leo rose and helped Veronica up from her chair. We said our goodbyes and I headed home to talk to Maisie before sending her off with her mother. I made a quick stop first at the phone store and picked up a small easy cell phone. She was too young for it, but I couldn’t help feeling that I wanted her to have access to me if she needed me. I’d never felt so off-kilter around a visit before, but in the past, Veronica stayed in town. Hell, many of the times she stayed with us in the guest room, except for the few times she snuck into my bed. But now she had a new husband and was taking Maisie to her new home in New York City. I didn’t like it, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it.

  When I reached home, I worked to put on a smile so I could sell this as something fun for Maisie, even though inside my heart was sick.

  5

  Tessa

  When Dylan walked in, I had Maisie coloring at the coffee table as I met him at the door.

  “I didn’t say anything about her mom in case that was something you should tell her.”

  He looked at me like he couldn’t believe I was real. “Thank you for that. You always think of her first.”

  His comment made me wonder if Veronica didn’t think of Maisie first. Well, of course she didn’t. If she did, she’d be more active in Maisie’s life. I knew Maisie remembered her because she sometimes talked about her and the times she visited. But in the ten months I’d been working for Dylan, I hadn’t seen nor heard about a visit from Veronica. What sort of mother could go that long without seeing her child? Sure, if she was in jail that would make sense, but she was gone because she chose to be gone. She made the decision to be away from her daughter. That made absolutely no sense to me.

  “I did lay out some of her clothes on her bed if you’d like to check. I also packed her toothbrush and other toiletries.”

  “Daddy!” Maisie jumped up and rushed to him.

  He scooped her up and gave her a tight hug. “Hi, baby.”