I watched as he went into the kitchen and got the bottle from the top cupboard. He poured a drink, downed it, and poured two fingers more.
He came and sat on the couch, but with space between us. “I got served custody papers today.”
My heart fell. “Oh Dylan, I’m sorry. I was thinking maybe she changed her mind.”
“You and me both.” He sipped his drink, looking at me over the rim of the glass.
“I wish there was something I could do to help.” I wanted to reach over and touch him to soothe his distress, but since that went so badly the last time, I clasped my hands in my lap.
“Do you mean that?”
I nodded, wondering if there was something he had in mind. “Yes. What can I do to help?”
He stared at me for a long moment. “You could marry me.”
My brain must have hiccupped, because I thought he’d just asked me to marry him. “What?”
He closed his eyes as if he regretted his words, but when they opened I saw determination. “I’m told that Veronica’s case is made stronger by the fact that she’s married and can offer two parents in the home. I know it’s nuts, but I can’t let her get full custody of Maisie. If two parents will sway the judge, then I’ll give her two parents. But as you know, I have no prospects for that.”
When I was in that phase in my teenage years of imagining a fairy tale life, I used to imagine being proposed to. I hadn’t thought it would be like this.
“What I need is someone I can trust, who cares for Maisie, and who I could believably convince people I’d marry.”
“Because we … you know …” I pointed to the couch.
“Because we’ve known each other for a year. It’s cliché, but I wouldn’t be the first single dad to marry the babysitter.”
It was a crazy request. One I should have already respectfully declined.
“I know it’s a lot to ask, Tessa. I feel like an asshole doing it, but I love that little girl more than anything.”
“I know.” I smiled, because as much as it hurt me that he didn’t love me, it warmed my heart to know he’d do anything for Maisie. Even marry a woman he didn’t love or want to have sex with.
“And listen, because I know it’s a lot, I’m willing to help you in return. I’ll pay for your last year of school.”
My mouth gaped. “What?”
He nodded. “I’ll pay for school. As my wife, it wouldn’t be right to pay you to babysit, but I can pay for that. Plus, you’ll save on rent.”
Oh yeah, if we were married, I’d need to live with him. “I’d live with you?”
He looked down for a moment. “We’d need to live together to make it seem real. Everyone needs to believe it, even Maisie, which means we’d need to share my room, but, I promise, Tessa.” He held up his hand like he was taking an oath. “I won’t touch you.”
Of all the things that had come out of his mouth over the last few minutes, that one hurt. It was a reminder that he wasn’t attracted to me.
He scrubbed his hands over his face. “Fuck. I’m sorry. I just—”
“Yes.”
His gaze shot to mine. “What?”
I didn’t know what I was doing. “Yes, I’ll marry you to help you keep Maisie.”
He let out a long-relieved breath that held solidify my decision. I loved him, and just like he’d do anything for Maisie, I’d do anything for him, including marry him to help him win a custody case.
14
Dylan
I was relieved that Tessa agreed to my crazy plan, and at the same time, I felt guilty asking her to get involved in something so questionable. I didn’t know if it was against the law to get married simply for a custody case, but it was deceptive, and I hated asking her to lie not just to court but to her friends and family as well.
When she’d said yes, I followed up with details that should have made her change her mind. Details such as, she needed to tell her parents and invite them to the wedding so it seemed real. Same with her friends. I emphasized how we needed to act like a real couple and spend time together in the community.
I meant what I said about not touching her, because I didn’t want to hurt her like I had before, and yet if we played married, we’d have to appear to be in love when others could see us. I wouldn’t fuck her, but out in public I’d have to touch her like a man in love would.
But as I explained further, she continued to agree to my crazy plan. For some reason it made me feel worse. I really shouldn’t have been asking this of her.
The next day, I invited her over to start the ruse, beginning with telling Maisie and arranging for us to spend the day together like a couple would. We’d also get a ring to help add to the legitimacy.
Maisie and I were making pancakes when Tessa showed up the next morning.
“Daddy and I are making pancakes. Do you want some?” Maisie said, waving her spatula in the air.
“Sounds delicious,” Tessa said. She smiled, but I saw uncertainty in her eyes.
“We don’t have to do this,” I said quietly to her as I poured her a cup of coffee and she sat at the kitchen table.
“I want to. I want to help you and Maisie.”
I set my hand on her shoulder. She jerked slightly, and I pulled my hand away, wondering if we’d be able to pull this off if my touch bothered her.
“Are you sure?”
She looked up at me. “Yes. I’m sure.” She reached out and patted my arm, as if she knew her reaction to my touch concerned me.
With one long look at Tessa to give her a chance to change her mind, I then went back to Maisie, who was pulling the syrup from the fridge.
“Hey Maisie, Tessa and I have some news for you.”
“What?” she said, putting the syrup on the table and then climbing into her chair.
“Well …” Christ. Was I really going to do this? Was I going to lie to my kid? What happened if Maisie got even more attached to Tessa than she already was? This marriage was about helping keep Maisie with me, but at some point, this custody issue would be done. We’d be able to go our separate ways. Would it be hard on Maisie when that happened?
“Dylan, if you’re changing your mind …”
“No. I’m just … it’s a lot.”
She nodded. “We can wait.”
I shook my head. “No, I don’t think we can.”
“Can what?” Maisie said, grabbing a pancake off the serving platter and flopping it onto her plate.
I sucked in a breath. “Maisie, Tessa and I are going to get married.”
Her head looked up at me with her little brows furrowed. “Like a wedding?”
“Yes. We’ll have one of those and Tessa will live with us. What do you think about that?”
“Yay!” Maisie clapped her hands. “Will you be my mommy now?”
“No, honey,” Tessa said gently. “Your mommy will always be your mommy.”
“But you’ll be here with us?”
“Yes. Like a family, Maisie.” I put my hand on Tessa’s shoulder and this time she didn’t flinch.
“Can we still play together?”
“Yes. I suspect not much will change where that is concerned.” Tessa helped pour syrup on Maisie’s pancakes. Then she looked up at me. “It must be a special day to have pancakes with syrup. That’s a lot of sugar.”
I nodded, again appreciating that she understood how important I felt it was to feed Maisie healthy foods most of the time.
“We have to celebrate. What should we do today, Maisie?”
“Can we go to the park?”
I sat at the table, offering the pancakes to Tessa before taking a stack on my plate. “Sure. Maybe we can have a picnic.”
Once we stopped talking about marriage, and acted like we usually did, the morning felt more comfortable. It was a reminder at how easy this could be since Tessa fit so well with me and Maisie.
I packed us a picnic while Tessa helped Maisie get dressed and ready to go. We drove to the park. As we wa
lked to find a place to set up our picnic, I took Tessa’s hand. She looked down at our linked fingers like it was weird but didn’t pull away. It was weird, and at the same time, it felt nice.
We played with Maisie in the park, pushing her on the swings, kicking her soccer ball around, and later having lunch.
“When you have babies, will they be my brother or sister?” Maisie asked as she took a bite of her sandwich.
Tessa choked, and I reached over to lightly pat her back. “Yes.” I had an image of Tessa all round with my child in her belly. It wasn’t an unpleasant image. The fact that it wasn’t bothered me. This was a fake relationship. There wouldn’t be any children for Tessa and me. “But if that happened, it would be a long time from now.”
Later, we watched as Maisie entertained herself on the jungle gym.
“I should take you out for a date,” I whispered to Tessa. I stood behind her with my hand on her hip. Her scent was sweet and alluring, making it easy to kiss her temple like a man in love would. “I need to get you a ring too.”
“I don’t need all that. This is for Maisie.”
I shifted so I could look at her. “Is this hard for you?”
She shrugged. “I’m uncomfortable about lying, especially to my family. But spending time with Maisie, that isn’t hard.”
“What about with me?” It was weird how much it was important to me that she enjoyed being around me too. I didn’t want this to be repulsive to her.
“That isn’t hard either.”
I moved so that I faced her, pressing my hand to her cheek like a man would if he were in love. “I know this is awkward, and I’m sorry for that. I don’t want to make you feel that way, but if this is to work, people need to believe it’s real.”
She nodded. “It’s okay.” She put her hand on my chest. I flashed back to when she’d done that the night I took her on the couch. For a moment, I wondered if maybe we could include sex in our little farce, but immediately I shook that off. It wouldn’t be fair to her to ask.
Still, we were in public. “If this was real, I’d kiss you.”
Her breath hitched. “If it was real, I’d let you.”
I leaned forward, and gently brushed my lips across hers. Like the first time, her sweet taste filled my senses, and a rush of happy endorphins flooded my blood stream. If only it was real, I thought.
That night after we put Maisie to bed, Tessa and I hashed out our plan in greater detail. Our story would be that we were seeing each other on the downlow, but that I’d asked her to marry me a few weeks back. We hadn’t announced it because we’d been distracted by Veronica’s return. We’d planned a large wedding, but decided to speed things up and have a small ceremony in the back yard. We’d honeymoon in New York City the weekend Maisie was to spend with her mother again. Although the petty angry part of me wanted to end visits, I knew that would look bad, and in this case, it would support my scheme to make the world think this marriage was real.
On the one hand, it felt deceptive and it bothered me to have Tessa lying. But on the other, spending time with her wasn’t a hardship. She was wonderful with Maisie, which was the most important to me. When it was just us, and we weren’t thinking about fake marriages, we were our old selves, talking and joking. One night I was so into our ruse that I kissed her as she headed out the door to head home.
“Is someone watching?” she asked as she looked over to her house and down the walk to the street.
There hadn’t been. Or at least I hadn’t seen anyone. The truth was I kissed her because I wanted to. If I was honest with myself, I’d wanted to ever since the night she gave me her virginity. Hell, even before that if my morning jerk offs in the shower were an indication.
“You never know,” I said, not wanting her to know I was acting on impulse. This was supposed to be fake, and I didn’t want to muck it up by muddying the waters.
On the day of the wedding, my backyard was filled with people who worked for me at the gym and a few friends. I had no family to speak of except Maisie, who looked adorable in her pretty pink dress.
Tessa’s parents were there. They were good people, which heightened my guilt at our deception. I promised myself that no matter what, I’d treat Tessa well. Her father was a cop and he’d have every right to shoot me if I hurt her. Her roommates, Maisie’s teacher, and a few of her classmates were there as well. For a fake wedding, it was fairly well attended, and everyone seemed genuinely happy, albeit surprised by our relationship.
I stood near a makeshift arbor and looked toward the back door as Tessa appeared and the real ruse began. Jesus, she was beautiful. She wore a simple ivory dress that made her skin look like peaches and cream. Her hair was pulled up in a loose twist with soft tendrils of her red locks blowing naturally. She looked so real compared to Veronica, and I hated that this had to be fake. She deserved so much more.
“I got the ring, daddy,” Maisie said to me holding up the little pillow as she reached me just before Tessa did.
“You do, baby. Thank you.” I didn’t deserve her either, I realized. What sort of father would engage in this behavior?
Tessa smiled, but I could see in her eyes she was wondering what the hell she was doing as well. I took her hand and squeezed it, hoping it reassured her.
As the minister went through the ceremony, I felt even worse. I was making vows I didn’t intend to keep. Why God hadn’t struck me dead I didn’t know.
“You may kiss your bride.”
Already? I looked at Tessa, hoping to hell I wasn’t ruining her life. She was so young and sweet. I was an asshole for putting her through this. I couldn’t promise to love her forever, but I did make a vow right then to be good to her. To make sure this didn’t hurt her.
I smiled, and was pleased when she smiled back. I leaned forward, pressing my lips to hers, and then trailing them along her cheek until I reached her ear. “I won’t hurt you, Tessa. I promise.”
We had a small reception, and then we were packed into the car and heading to New York City to drop Maisie off with Veronica, while Tessa and I were to go on our honeymoon. I wasn’t going to touch her. This marriage would never be consummated. But it had to look real, so I booked us a suite in a luxury hotel, and ordered champagne to be waiting.
I enjoyed Tessa’s company, so having a day touring New York sights wasn’t going to be weird. But the night-time arrangements could be. I got us a room that had a hideaway bed in case she was uncomfortable, although she’d have to get used to sharing a room with me once we got home. This wouldn’t work if Maisie told people we slept in different rooms. Even so, I was going to do whatever Tessa needed to feel safe and comfortable.
I opened the door to the lavish suite and watched her as she took in the setting.
“Wow, Dylan … this is …” Her eyes scanned everything from the large windows overlooking New York City to the flowers filling the room with a sweet scent, although not as sweet as hers. “So much. Too much. I get why we need to pretend to have a honeymoon, but no one is going to see us, right? We don’t need all this.”
“Have you ever stayed in a place like this? Been pampered? Had food from a world-renowned chef? Drank expensive champagne?” I took off my coat and tossed it on a chair as I made my way to the champagne.
“No.”
“Is it something you’d like to try?”
She bit her lip as her eyes gleamed. “Well, sure, but—”
“I owe you this. I know this is awkward and difficult. I don’t like the deception much either. This is something I can do to make it fun. We may not have a real honeymoon, but we’re friends, right?”
I hoped I hadn’t fucked that up with this nutty scheme.
“Yes, of course.”
“Then let’s be two friends who live it up in New York for a night.” I popped the cork on the champagne. “If the hotel did what I asked, there are a couple more bottles in the fridge.”
“It must be costing you a fortune.” She approached me, and I felt reliev
ed that she was accepting this.
“I have money. A lot of it, actually. Maybe not like Papa Leo—”
“Oh God, don’t even say that name.” She made a distasteful face.
I smiled because it felt so fucking good to have someone who understood how hard it was to hear Maisie call another man papa. “The point is, I have the money.”
“Even for my school? Because I was thinking that maybe it would be better if I took the year off and was an at-home stepmom. It would help your case—”
Emotion washed through me at her words. That she’d be willing to put her dream aside for me. “You’re amazing, Tessa.”
She shrugged. “It was going to be hard to afford anyway. I’d already accepted that I wouldn’t be able to finish.”
“But you will finish. I have the money. More than enough. Please, let me do that for you. Maisie will be in school when you are, so it won’t be any different than this year.”
“It feels like too much to ask.”
I laughed as I handed her a flute of champagne. “You’re kidding right? I asked you to give up your home to marry me just so I’d improve my case for custody. You’ve given way more than me.”
She looked down into the glass of champagne. “It doesn’t feel like more.”
I watched her for a moment, wondering what she meant. How could it not feel like she’d given so much when she’d basically signed up to a fake marriage with a man who’d taken her virginity so carelessly?
“Trust me, Tessa. If this works, you’ll have saved my life. Maisie is everything.”
She smiled and held her glass up. “To Maisie.”
“To Maisie,” I clicked my glass with hers, and watched her drink the golden bubbly.
Her nose wriggled and her eyes glittered. “Wow, that’s really good.” She reached up and pulled a hair clip from her head and her hair fell around her shoulders. In an instant, I was filled with need and desire to run my fingers through it. A part of me wished we could include the more intimate bits of marriage in this situation, but that was asking too much. I couldn’t touch her when I knew I couldn’t give her what she needed emotionally. Instead, I downed my champagne and poured more. Hopefully it would cool my jets and we’d get through the honeymoon still as friends.
Heart of Hope: Books 1-4 Page 56