I caught my breath and looked down on her, hoping to hell I hadn’t hurt or scared her. She didn’t look blissed out like she had the first time, but it wasn’t hurt or fear I saw on her face either. It was anticipation. Like she was waiting to see how I was going to respond. I couldn’t blame her, as the last time I’d withdrawn from her physically and emotionally before my dick had even finished pulsing inside her.
I settled beside her, pulling her to me and pushing a tendril of her soft hair out of her face. “Are you okay?”
She pursed her lips in annoyance. “Will you ever stop asking me that?”
I shook my head. “No. I need to know. But let me go first, I’m fucking fantastic.”
Her smile was so bright and beautiful it took my breath away. It was like I’d given her a gift.
“So, let me ask you again, are you okay?”
“I’m fucking fantastic.”
In the back of my brain, my conscience was telling me this wasn’t smart, but done was done. I’d fucked her, and my libido was finding it hard to resist doing it again. We were married, after all. And yet, my dumbass conscience warned me that it was a fake marriage. That all the reasons I’d resisted touching her were still there.
As if she knew what was going on in my brain, she said, “I know this isn’t forever, Dylan. I get that. But maybe we could just focus on the now. I like it when you touch me. I want you to teach me—”
“I like to touch you, Tessa, but there isn’t any teaching.”
She simply stared at me.
“Good sex is about paying attention to what turns your partner on. Yes, there are different positions and things you can do, but they’re only as good as your partner enjoys them.”
“So just laying like a lump … you like that when I do that?”
I laughed. “I think the proof is leaking from your pussy.” I had a moment to pause on that. “Fuck, I didn’t use a condom.”
“I went on the pill.”
I quirked a brow. “When?”
“When I hoped that sometime during this marriage, I might convince you to give in and sleep with me.”
I felt relief and yet, there was something else there too. Not disappointment, because that would be nuts. I didn’t want a real marriage or more children. But I couldn’t deny thinking about how pretty Tessa would be full and round with a child, or what a spectacular mother she’d be.
“Smart.” I kissed her because the urge was there and now I felt free to indulge it. “The point I was making before was that yes, sometimes it’s nice to be the sole purveyor of pleasure. To focus completely on you and what turns you on.”
“Do you like it when a woman does that to you?”
“Sure. To be honest, I’m open to just about anything.” I grinned.
“I want to do that to you, then. I want to make real what you said you thought about when you masturbate to me.”
I felt my dick stir, which seemed impossible since he’d come only minutes ago. “That isn’t necessary.”
She frowned. “Do you say no to everything?”
“I didn’t say no. I said it’s not necessary. Some women don’t like to suck dicks and I don’t want you to feel like you should.”
“I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want to do it. I know we have to wait—”
“Why?” Wait? Why did I have to wait?
Her head tilted up to look at me. “Because men need time … don’t they?”
“Does he look like he needs time?” I nodded toward my dick. He wasn’t full staff, but he wasn’t asleep either.
She looked at my dick. “He’s not as big as before.”
I laughed. “You’re killing me, here.”
Her head jerked up. “I’m sorry—”
“It’s okay,” I said kissing her head, finding her naïveté sweet. “He’s not at full tilt, but he’s also not his normal size. He started perking up when you mentioned wanting to suck him. He likes that idea.”
Her cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink. “Oh, right … I’ve never seen it small.”
I choked. “Please don’t call him small. It will make him self-conscious.”
She smiled. “Right, sorry.”
“You could make it up to him. Maybe pet him.”
She laughed. “I’d hate to have offended him.” She ran a finger up the length of my dick, making him jump. I felt the rush of blood indicating he was ready for another round. He thickened and lengthened.
“See, he likes you.”
She wrapped her hand around him. “What part is the most sensitive?” She stroked him, and I settled in to let her take control.
“It’s all good, but the rim around the tip is especially sensitive.”
She ran her finger along the ridge, and I sucked in a breath. My dick responded, nearing full erection.
She shifted her body until she was kneeling beside me, her face over my dick finishing his journey to full arousal.
I ran my hand over her backside. “If you don’t want to use your mouth, you don’t have to.”
“I want to.” She ran her tongue over the tip, sending electric sparks up my shaft. “How do I do it?”
“Like a lollipop.” I watched as she studied my dick in fascination. The idea that this was an exploration, an adventure for her, made the situation all the more erotic. Who knew what she’d discover?
She wrapped her lips around the head of my cock, gripping him right under the rim.
“Fuck … yes …” I closed my eyes as another wave of the sweetest sensations rushed through my body. Most women who gave me a blow job went in full throttle, sucking him deep and fast. Tessa took her time, getting to know every inch of my dick, and he loved it.
I let my hand leisurely stroke her back side down to between her legs where I’d tease her pussy. Her hips gyrated when I slid my finger through her opening.
“You’re distracting me,” she said, holding my dick.
“Sorry.” I moved my hand to her ass again. “But you know, you could straddle my face and we could both give and get pleasure.”
Her eyes shone with intrigue. “Maybe next time.”
“Next time?”
“This time I want to focus on you and getting to know your dick.”
Who was I to argue with that? “Next time then.”
With that settled, she wrapped her lips around my cock again, and this time, she seemed to have a sense of what to do. She spent time on the tip, driving me mad until I thought I might start thrusting, and then she’d suck him deep into her mouth.
“That’s good, baby,” I said, using my other hand to thread my fingers in her hair.
One of her hands cupped my balls as she returned her attention to my tip. I jerked, thrusting up. “Yes … fuck …”
The tentative way she’d moved before was gone, and now she seemed to know exactly what she was doing––and holy fuck was she good at it. I pushed her hair back, wanting to watch her lips as they gripped my dick, watching my dick as it disappeared into her mouth. Pressure built. My balls pulled in, readying for me to shoot my load.
“Tessa … I’m going to come …” I started to push her away, not wanting to repel her with a mouth full of cum.
She tightened her grip, and began to move faster.
“Oh Jesus …” I growled. “You need to stop if you don’t want it in your mouth.” I was panting like I’d run a marathon as I worked to keep from blowing in her mouth.
Her head turned slightly, her gaze catching mine. In them I saw she wanted me to come in her mouth.
I wanted her to be sure, but the time to ask had passed. As her tongue slid along my shaft inside her mouth, and then pulled up to slide along the rim, I was gone.
“Fuuuuck …” My hips shot up, thrusting in her mouth as my orgasm blasted through me. “Don’t stop baby … God … keep sucking …”
She gripped me with her hand, using her mouth to focus on the rim and I was in heaven as she worked my cock, wringing the last drop of cum
from him.
“Oh Jesus … Christ …” My breath was heaving as I came down.
She sucked him until he was soft, and then she kissed the tip and moved to lay next to me.
“Are you sure you’ve never done that before?” I asked, still feeling the effects of the orgasm shimmer through my body.
“Never.”
“You’re a natural.”
She smiled. “I like making you come, Dylan. It makes me feel powerful and feminine.”
“You’re both, baby. Jesus … is the top of my head still there?”
She blushed a little, but I could see the praise meant a lot to her. It was praise well earned.
“Can people really give oral at the same time?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“I’d be too distracted.”
“That does happen. But I won’t be distracted when it’s your turn.” I tugged at her until she was laying on me. “So why don’t you straddle my face and let me make you come again?”
She bit her lip. “Won’t I suffocate you?”
“Nope, but if you did, it would be well worth it. Death by Tessa’s sweet pussy. Would you put that on my tombstone?” I helped her move until she was over my face. I inhaled the sweet sexy scent of her pussy. “Hold on to the head board baby, and let me take you to heaven.”
She gripped the head board as I held her hips and brought my mouth to her pussy. She groaned as I ran my tongue through her folds. Then I fucked her with my tongue, her hips rocking and writhing as I devoured her pussy until she cried out and filled my mouth with her sweet juice.
She collapsed beside me and I pulled her to me.
“Thank you,” she murmured sleepily next to me.
“For what?” I asked, gently caressing her as she settled in next to me.
But she didn’t answer. She was asleep. I kissed her head. I held her, wondering what it was about her that hit me so hard in the chest. I’d never been with a virgin before. Was it her sweet innocence and curiosity about sex that got to me? Or was it something else?
17
Tessa
I was disappointed that our honeymoon was only for one night, as I felt certain that once we left the fancy room and returned home to real life, Dylan would refocus on Maisie, and reiterate his claim that he couldn’t give me what I deserved. In some ways he was right. He was so adamant to never love that even as good as things were with us, he couldn’t give me himself. At the same time, it was unfair to want our time together to change his attitude, because right now the most important thing we needed to focus on was keeping custody of Maisie.
We arrived home after picking up Maisie from Veronica’s late Sunday night. The exchange was tense. I could tell both of them had things they wanted to say, but didn’t in front of Maisie. I had to give them both credit for that. Exhausted, we all went to bed. At first, I felt a little odd climbing into Dylan’s bed with Maisie in the other room, but sleep quickly came.
I was vaguely aware of Dylan leaving the bed. It was dark out, but checking the clock it was five in the morning. Cripes, did he normally get up that early? I rolled over and went back to sleep until later I heard him enter the bathroom.
I got out of bed and checked on Maisie, who was sleeping in her bed. I returned to Dylan’s bedroom and entered the bathroom, all steamed up from his shower.
“Dylan?”
He slid open the door. “Yeah? Everything all right?”
Water sluiced over his hard muscles, making my mouth water.
“Yes.” I took my nightgown off, watching his eyes darken as his gaze settled on my breasts. “I was thinking about your morning routine.”
“I wasn’t doing that this morning.”
“Why would you when I’m here to do it for you?” I stepped into the shower and sank to my knees to worship his dick, already hard and long.
“You’re a fucking fantasy,” he growled as his fingers thread through my hair and his hips gently pumped as I sucked him. I loved the scent that emanated from him when he was aroused. The feel of his dick, soft skin over hard steel, as it slid along my tongue.
“Ah, fuck … Tessa.” He gripped my arms and pulled me up.
“You’re not done,” I protested. Had Maisie come in? Did I lock the door?
He pressed me against the tile, his fingers sliding to my pussy as he sucked on my nipple, making me cry out as pleasure shot through me.
“I’m going to come inside you,” he said when he released my breast. “Hold on.”
I gripped his shoulders as he lifted my legs around his thighs and thrust his hard length inside me.
“Oh God, Dylan.” He felt so good filling me.
“You like that? You like it when I fuck you?”
“Yes … so much.”
Unlike most of the times he’d had sex with me during our short honeymoon, this time he moved hard, fast, furious. His hips bucked, his dick slamming inside me, sending me racing to the edge of oblivion.
“Come on me, Tessa,” he grunted. “Fuck … I’m coming …”
He thrust hard and held, hitting a spot inside me I’d thought was a myth until he sent me soaring into an intense, hard orgasm that stole my breath.
“Oh Christ …that’s it …” he said, grinding against me, and then withdrawing and thrusting again. “Your pussy is so tight … you make me come so hard … I’m filling you with my cum …” He was rambling sexy dirty words that heightened my pleasure.
I was a boneless mess when we finished. Luckily, he held me up until I could get my bearings straight.
“You all right?” he asked.
“I think that’s the best way to start a day.”
He laughed. “It’s better than beating off with my hand, for sure.”
From that moment on, we settled into life. It was easy to love Maisie and Dylan. Our days weren’t so different from before, except that I woke in his bed and could now touch him. It felt perfect. It felt like a real marriage.
But I was smart enough not to believe that it was destined to last. We were married to help him keep Maisie. We were two people who were attracted to each other, and while I knew I loved him, I also knew he didn’t love me. He cared for me, but he’d never let himself love me. In fact, he’d probably be angry if he knew just how much I felt for him. So I went through life acting as his wife, while living as friends with benefits. For now, it would be enough, or so I kept telling myself.
I cared for Maisie during the day as usual. We went on outings, did activities, and played. When Dylan came home from work, we ate dinner and spent time as a family. The only thing I didn’t participate in was Dylan’s nightly routine of putting Maisie to bed. That was their time, and I respected their need to connect.
Maisie had regular weekend visits with Veronica. Each time, Dylan was agitated. He wanted to stop all visits all together because he couldn’t help the feeling that Veronica might take her.
“But it will look spiteful and bad at court if I stop visits, even though it’s within my rights to do so,” he’d said one night as we sat on the couch after Maisie had left with Veronica. “And Maisie seems to be enjoying her time. I can’t take that away from her.”
“You’re a good dad, Dylan.”
“It’s not easy. You’re more of a mother than Veronica … is that bad for me to say?”
His words filled my heart. “I love her,” I said, wishing I could tell him I loved him too. “I’m sure Veronica loves her too. She’s just a different sort of mom.”
He sighed. “She was always a different sort. I can’t say I wished I hadn’t been with her as I wouldn’t have Maisie, but I can see now that she wasn’t the right person for me.”
“She’s beautiful and sexy. I can’t imagine any man, especially one in college, not being taken in by that.”
He turned to me and pulled me to him. “You’re not wrong. But now I see the difference. She is a beautiful woman, but the way she is now, that takes work. Not all of it is real. You on the other hand …�
�� He cupped my face with his hand and looked into my eyes. “All of you is real. And more beautiful, inside and out.”
My heart ached, wishing he meant he loved me. Wishing I could tell him all that was in my heart. Instead, I smiled. “If you’re wanting to get lucky, all you have to do is ask.”
He laughed. “Will you fuck me right here?”
“See? That wasn’t so hard,” I said as I pulled him back on top of me.
The following week, Maisie and I did some shopping, picking up a few household items as well as some outdoor summer toys. We entered a discount superstore, passing an area that took photos. For a moment, I stopped, wishing Dylan and Maisie and I could take a family photo.
“I had my picture taken,” Maisie said.
“Oh?” I took her hand, continuing our journey into the store.
“My mommy took me.”
“I bet it’s a pretty picture,” I said, trying to keep from being jealous that Veronica got the family portrait instead of me.
“I guess.”
We finished our shopping and later we made bubbles in the backyard with the huge wands we’d bought. Some days, like this day, it was easy to forget that my life was fake and that a serious custody battle was being waged.
Friday was our first court appearance. Because Dylan needed to appear to be a family man, I went along, as did Leo for Veronica.
The tension between Dylan and Veronica was so thick, it felt like it had sucked all the air from the room.
“Is it right that since the divorce, Mr. Hyatt has granted Ms. Tisdale visits whenever she wanted?” the judge asked. She looked to be about my mother’s age, and I hoped she was just as wise. Would a female judge be more likely than a male judge to overcome bias about mothers being the best parent and rule in favor of a father?
“That’s correct, your honor,” Dylan’s attorney said. “When Ms. Tisdale showed up again after nearly a year of being gone, he granted a visit and has continued to do so even during this custody case.”
Heart of Hope: Books 1-4 Page 58