by test
“I’ve always trusted you as a warrior, Brady. But I’ve never had a friend outside of Solonia. I’ve never trusted any man except Juston Steele.”
He waited, sensing the importance of what was to come.
“We might die here, if not by violence, then of old age still searching for a way home. I don’t want to die alone.”
He turned to face her. “You’re not alone.”
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The moon had finally reached its apex and shone silvery light onto her.
“I’ve been alone for a while now. Alone and dead.”
He wanted to touch her, but he feared she would shatter. This strange moment would be gone and never recaptured.
“I feel most alive when I get to kill Savages. My hate gives me life.”
She fell silent. He gave into his need to fill it. “Many of us hate them and find no regret in killing them.”
“I think Juston understands my hate more than anyone, even more than my mother or any other woman.”
She swallowed, the sound loud in the night. This time he waited.
“Perhaps if you were to really know me, you would realize that I do trust you. More than you can know.”
“I’ve wanted to know you better since I first met you.”
Her mouth twisted into a bitter smile. “There is no me. Cara died almost two years ago.
My body was rescued, but all the things that made me a person died on a mountainside. Died slowly and painfully over a period of endless days after the Savages captured me.”
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Chapter Six
Cara told it all to him, even some things she’d never confided to Juston or her mother.
Her virgin body raped, beaten, assaulted in unnatural ways over and over and again. Her wish for a death that would not come. Helpless beneath the stinking, muscular bodies of the Savages as they took her time and time again.
Then against all hope, Juston Steele led a rescue to save her. He’d carried her brutalized body back to Solonia where the Deomo and Katerina healed her physical being.
Juston taught her to fight and use her puny strength against the physically superior Savages. He trusted her with the protection of his family and allowed her opportunities to kill the beasts that had destroyed her life. And Steele understood the nightmares would never leave.
“I would give my life for Juston Steele.”
Brady said nothing for a long moment. Was he disgusted by the degradation she carried with her? The Savages’ filthy intimate taking of her body would never be cleansed. No one’s touch could ever give her pleasure. Even though her mind knew the difference between a human’s friendly contact, her mind still conjured up the thick, punishing hands of the Savages.
No matter her body’s wishes, her mind worked without regard to her wishes.
His blue eyes looked nearly clear in the silvery moonlight. He leaned up on one elbow but there was nothing relaxed in his posture. He lifted his hand slowly and touched her cheek so lightly she felt only the rough brush of his swordsman’s calluses.
“I’m sorry, Cara.”
She shrugged and pushed his hand away as much from habit as discomfort. “Since we’re stuck with only each other, I thought you should know. After what happened with Mia last year, I took an honest look at myself.”
“With Mia? What did that have to do with you? Those Parlanian bastards killed her.”
The image of Brady, blood-covered and furious with grief, standing beside Mia’s grave was another brick on the load of guilt she carried about her friend’s death. Mia, who’d been with Juston and helped rescue her from the Savages.
“It should have been me.” She met his gaze. “I was supposed to go on that scouting mission with you, Claudia and Roth. But Juston wouldn’t let me go because I was so prejudiced against Roth. He didn’t trust me to do my part.”
“Hell, Cara. The Parlanians killed Mia. It could have been any of us.”
“But it should have been me. Mia had so much to live for, so many things yet to do. She wanted a husband and children.”
“She wouldn’t have wanted you to die in her place.”
“I know. But I should have. She had more to give the world.”
“No more than you do.”
“I have nothing to give for the betterment of Solonia or for anything or anybody else.”
She wasn’t feeling sorry for herself. She was being totally honest.
“How can you say that? You jumped in that damned river and saved my life.”
“Saved your life? All I did was mess up again. I wasn’t even thinking. I can barely swim.”
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“How would I have fixed my shoulder if you hadn’t been there?”
“Your shoulder was dislocated because I was holding on to it. I was so afraid of drowning, I wouldn’t let go even though I almost pulled you under with me.”
He smiled. “I’m a very strong swimmer. You didn’t almost pull me under, and I think I was holding on to you.”
He touched her lightly again, his hand warm and gentle. “Maybe I held on so tight because I didn’t want to be alone.”
The seriousness in his tone sent her heart racing, but it didn’t feel like fear coursing so hotly beneath her skin. “You wouldn’t have had to catch so many fish and crabs if you were alone.”
He withdrew his hand and grinned again. “True. But I also wouldn’t have anyone to stand watch while I slept.”
“And we better get some sleep now.” She rolled to her back and folded her hands across her middle. The air would cool by morning but there was no need to roll up in her blanket yet.
She didn’t look as Brady moved and grunted until he made himself comfortable. Men were so much noisier than women. Quiet settled on their camp and she felt him looking at her.
“Thanks for telling me your story, Cara.”
“I owed it to you after the way I acted. Juston made allowances for me and that got Mia killed. I don’t want the same thing to happen to you.”
“I guess I’ll never be able to convince you Mia’s death wasn’t your fault.” He was quiet for a little while before speaking again. “You won’t get me killed. If we can go over those falls without dying, nothing can touch us.”
She snorted. “Are you really such a good swimmer?”
“Best I know.”
She surprised herself by laughing, but then another thought occurred to her. “Could you swim across the river and reach the southern bank?”
“Maybe when the spring floods are done. It wouldn’t be easy. I was thinking if we can’t find another way, we might try building a raft, put in near the falls and try to paddle diagonally.
We might reach the other bank before we hit the sea.”
“You could probably swim it without me.” She looked at his profile in the dark. He stared up at the stars.
“I wouldn’t leave you behind any more than you would leave me. We’re in this together.”
The silence stretched for a while but it wasn’t uncomfortable. “I’m not afraid of the Savages. You can count on me.”
“I know I can count on you. There’s no one I’d rather have with me.”
“You’d be better served if you had Juston or Sky Turan here with you.”
He turned to her again with his grin that made her own lips curl in response. “Hell no.
Either one of them would have kicked my ass in that little wrestling match we just had. What would that have done to my male pride?”
“Realm men have so much of that you wouldn’t even have noticed losing a bit of it.”
His expression turned serious. “Oh, we don’t mind losing it for something important enough.”
She turned away. “We need to sleep.”
He sighed but before long his breathing settled into the steady, rhythms of sleep. She curled on her side facing him and stared at his broad shoulders and the dark curls riding against ONE
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his collar. A few wild curls stuck up across the top of his head as usual. He was such a good man. Her heart knew it but the rest of her refused to believe it of any man. He would have made a great husband for Mia. For any woman. Any whole woman. Not a broken one like her.
* * * *
Brady woke to full alertness. A sound, something not of the night, had startled him from sleep. His gun sat within comfortable reach as he waited to hear it again.
The out of place sound came again, from behind him. A soft, nearly inaudible whimper filled with pain and fear. His stomach tightened. A wave of fury, no less heated than the one he’d felt when she first told him, swept up from his gut and actually made his neck hot.
He turned, careful to make no sound, and found her still asleep and in the grip of her nightmare. She curled on her side with her tiny hands fisted and pulled against her chest.
Recounting her horrid experience had likely brought this upon her.
What should he do? Wake her? Would his presence frighten her even more? He stretched his hand out toward her shoulder but noticed the trembling in his hand. He pulled back and silently cursed his helplessness. He hunted and killed Savages for many years and for many reasons, but a new soul gripping hatred was now his.
That such animals had abused and degraded such a lovely, spirited woman was beyond his ability to imagine. They’d trampled her physically, crushed her pride and destroyed her sense of worth. Yet, she’d survived. Survived and now fought back. How could such a petite body hold so much will and determination? What might she had been like before?
With a few, deep breaths, he regained control of his temper. What did his feelings matter? How much had it cost her to share her story with him? He warily put his hand on top of her fists. His hand was large enough to cover both of hers. Her skin was cold and another small moan escaped her tightly pressed lips.
He scooted closer and slid onto her blanket. Even curled up, she took up only a portion of the blanket and left plenty of room for him. He pulled his blanket over both of them and settled himself so that his thighs touched her drawn up knees. Still she twitched and grimaced, caught in her memories. He stretched out ever so slowly until he lay on his side facing her.
A shiver shook her entire body. He willed his warmth and strength into her hands from his, but she didn’t need his strength. She was the strongest person he’d ever met. So much about her now made sense to him. The way she appreciated his friendship and then pulled back when he tried to take it further. The rudeness she pushed him away with that was probably really fear.
Now that he understood, she wouldn’t be able to push him away. He would earn her trust in him as a man and as a warrior. Even if it took him years.
Sleep eluded him though she slowly relaxed back into a deeper sleep. A rock beneath the blanket poked into his hip, but it was a small discomfort compared to the agony she faced everyday, awake and sleep.
Her body went limp as her exhaustion pulled her deeper to where mindless forgetfulness existed. He carefully maneuvered to his back and tucked her close to his side. He listened to her steady breathing and accepted he would like to hear the sweet sound every night. Every night forever? Maybe.
The moons both set before his eyes grew too heavy for him to deny. Though he wanted to savor every moment of her body pressed to his, he knew he needed to sleep. Tomorrow he would start his campaign to win and heal her heart.
* * * *
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Cara stole another glance at Brady as he crouched behind the thick trunk of a walnut tree.
She’d waken to a chilly, gray dawn and found herself all snug and warm against his side. After lifting her head from his shoulder, she’d managed to carefully move away from him. Her heart still pounded in remembrance but she wasn’t sure it was fear.
“What do you think?” He gestured up the cliff side. They’d smelled the hot springs for nearly half an hour before they found it. Steam rose against the backdrop of the dark stone. This wasn’t a simple ledge like they’d slept on the previous night. It sat nearly halfway up the cliff-side and was fronted by a tumble of boulders and red dirt. It was large enough to even have a few small trees growing on it. “Should we go up and take a look? If nothing else, we might be able to see what’s ahead of us.”
“Good idea. Did you notice this is a walnut tree?” She walked around it a bit. “There should be lots of last fall’s nuts lying on the ground.”
“You’re right. They’ve been gathered.” He walked around the tree also.
They looked at each other for a moment and then both looked up at the cliff. There were at least three hours of daylight left.
“I think we can climb up there,” Brady said.
They helped each other over some of the more difficult parts of the ascent. The avalanche seemed to have happened years ago as there were many plants and saplings finding root holds between the boulders. But many of the rocks were unstable and dangerous beneath the unwary foot.
The air warmed as they climbed and the noxious odor of the hot springs added to the discomfort. The large shelf wasn’t nearly as level as the small ledges they investigated before.
The hot pool sat nearly in the middle with little plant life about it. Stinking bubbles popped to the surface in varying sizes and at irregular intervals.
Brady walked to the cliff way, searching as they always did for a way to the top. He had to make his way through some thick underbrush and a few young trees before finding purchase beyond the spring.
She looked at the plant growth nearer the spring. Solonia had a few hot springs so she knew the ground and air around such odd natural wonders were warmer than the lands around them. That meant it had been spring in this small climate for longer than at the bottom of the cliff.
It didn’t take long to find something. Wild yams. She knelt and used her knife to dig out the thick, orange roots. The plants grew in a small patch. A feast.
“My stomach is growling already.”
Cara jumped. The gurgling of the pool had hidden Brady’s approach.
“We can eat them raw or cook them.” She started digging up more yams. “Why don’t you gather some wood?”
He squatted beside her, his scent washing over her and overpowering the stench of the springs. “I don’t know if we should.”
She paused. “You mean the walnuts?”
“Do Savages eat walnuts?”
“Yeah, they’re gatherers of nuts, berries and wild grains.” She gestured at the pile of yams. “They eat roots too.”
“They might be close by.”
“The Savages around Solonia migrate with the weather in search of food. They don’t have permanent homes.”
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They didn’t build a fire. Brady climbed down to refill the water bag after they used all their fresh water to wash off the yams. She dug up more of them while he was gone. They’d passed a stream about an hour south so it took him a while.
He returned in less than two hours and rejoined her breathless and with his shirt wet with sweat.
“What is it?” She rose to her feet and touched her sword for reassurance.
He took a few deep breaths. “The wind shifted when I was coming back. Blew down from the north. I think there’s a storm coming.”
“So?” They’d been lucky with the weather and only been rained on twice since the accident.
“I smelled smoke on the breeze.”
She looked over her shoulder and saw only trees and rocks to their north. “They would have to be close for you to smell smoke.”
“Yeah. Let’s hunker down here through the storm. It should wash away any sign we left.
Tomorrow could be an interesting day.”
Interesting wasn’t how she might have termed it. There were only two of them and they might face an entire pack of killers.
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Chapter Seven
The raw crunchiness of the fibrous roots was even a pleasure. He pushed Cara to eat but nothing he said could distract the worry crinkling her brow. There was no way to spare her the trepidation of what the morrow might bring. He could only give her the comfort of his presence.
“I wouldn’t have known to look for these,” he said after cleaning his knife and returning it to the sheath on his belt. “Never ate them raw before.”