“You’re a man in love. You couldn’t have prevented something like this from happening.”
His hands clenched into fists. “Oh, yes, I could. Gwen came to me about Kit because she suspected something wasn’t right. The thought of someone trying to infiltrate the shelter made me angry, so I decided to set a trap for her. If I’d been honest and told Kit up front I was Richard McFarland instead of letting her go on believing I was the head security guard—”
“The outcome wouldn’t have been any different,” Maggie interrupted. “She would have looked for physical similarities and assumed you couldn’t be her brother. The sparks would have burst into flame just the same.”
The thought of seeing Kit again, of knowing he didn’t dare touch her, was killing him.
“I’ve got to get out of here. Dwayne’s waiting.” He started for the door.
“Why don’t you bring her to the penthouse? I’m going there now.”
Maggie realized how impossible it was going to be for him to spend time alone in the same room with Kit until the DNA comparisons were done. Though he knew exactly why his sister had made the suggestion, he kept on walking, blinded by needs that would probably destroy him.
Throughout the drive to the motel, the temptation to put off telling Kit what was in store was so strong, he didn’t pay attention to the van in front of him. When it decided to go straight instead of turning, he missed crashing into it by mere centimeters.
Before long he reached the motel. After scanning the parking area, he discovered the black Toyota behind the back of the motel. Dwayne and Kit were seated inside.
She must have seen him. When he pulled up next to the car and got out, she met him halfway. The minute their glances met, fresh pain tore him apart all over again.
He walked over to Dwayne. “Thanks for your help. Go on home. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
The other man gave him a nod, then started up the car and drove out of the lot.
Kit stood a few feet away from him with a beseeching look in those troubled blue eyes. “I was hoping to see you, or at least talk to you before the day was out. I need to apologize to you before I leave for California. Do you want to come inside, or would you rather we went for a ride?”
Cord wasn’t immune to the tremor in her voice. He wasn’t immune to anything about her. Yet to go into that motel room with her now would not only be disastrous, there was a moral issue involved here. One he couldn’t ignore no matter how much he wanted to.
“Something’s come up that will require your staying in Salt Lake for another day or two, anyway.”
An anxious expression broke out on Kit’s face. “A police matter? What is it?”
“Before I answer that, why don’t you pack while I check you out of the motel? I’ll be back for you in a minute, then we’ll drive to the cottage.”
At least there they could talk in the living room or the kitchen rather than a motel room dominated by a large bed.
She lowered her head. “I’ve kept you out of your house long enough.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ve been staying with Maggie.”
Cord sensed her hesitation before she said, “All right. I’ll hurry.”
CHAPTER NINE
AFTER KIT HAD DISAPPEARED through the back entrance, Cord drove around to the lobby breezeway. With the motor still idling, he went inside and paid her bill. Within a few minutes he’d picked her up and they drove off.
“You have every right to be angry with me,” she began. “But before this conversation goes any further, I have to know something.”
“What is it?”
“Why didn’t you introduce yourself as Richard McFarland the moment we met? What was the reason for letting me think you were the security guard?”
His jaw clenched. “I’m afraid Gwen didn’t believe you when Dwayne told her you claimed to get lost on the way out to the van.”
“So you both suspected I was a liar from the very beginning?” She looked as if he’d just slapped her face.
“Let’s put it this way,” he said. “We wanted to believe you were an innocent homeless person down on your luck. But when Gwen reported to me what had happened, your behavior led us to wonder if you didn’t have an ulterior motive. Several came to mind. Either you were a tabloid reporter out to make big bucks on a story about the McFarlands, or you were into something criminal, like ingratiating yourself to the family before announcing you were Kathryn.” He couldn’t bring himself to mention Gwen’s other theory.
Kit let out another anguished cry. “Have those things happened to your family a lot?”
“Enough times to make me wary.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Why didn’t you come right out and tell me you wanted to meet Richard McFarland?”
“For the very reason you just mentioned. I didn’t want to be another Anastasia story and upset everyone by claiming to be one of the lost members of the Czar’s royal family. Not unless I was almost a hundred percent sure McFarland blood flowed in my veins.
“After the funeral, my friend, Janene, and I discussed what I thought were my mother’s mad ravings. We both concluded that if what she’d said could possibly be true, then I at least ought to get on the Internet and see if such a man as John McFarland ever existed.
“I…found a lot more than I’d bargained for. When I came to the Kathryn McFarland Foundation Web site and read she’d been kidnapped, I was so horrified to think my parents might have had anything to do with it, I became physically sick for a while.”
Cord had to admit a discovery like that, coming on the heels of her mother’s confession and death, would have been devastating.
“At that point I grew frantic and searched for pictures of your family members to see if I resembled any of you. I found photos of your father, brother and Margaret. There weren’t any obvious physical similarities that I could see, but I thought it was possible I looked like you or your mother. Without a photograph of either of you, I had no way of knowing for sure.”
She cleared her throat. “I did find an article on you that said you ran a women’s shelter under the umbrella of the Kathryn McFarland Foundation. That’s when the idea came to me to pretend to be homeless and come to Salt Lake on the bus. It seemed like a good plan at the time. I could get a close look at you without you knowing what I was doing.
“You have to understand I only intended to stay there a day or two, if I could get in at all. I just wanted to be there long enough to meet one of the McFarland family members without creating a scene. As I told you earlier, I planned to reimburse the shelter at a later date.
“When you took me job hunting, I jumped at the chance to look for a camp counselor position because I knew they would already be filled and I wouldn’t get hired right off. That made me happy because I didn’t want to put anyone out while I was waiting to meet Richard McFarland. But, of course, I never met you. I mean—”
“I know what you’re trying to say,” Cord interrupted, mesmerized by her story. Maggie had been right. It was amazing.
“I never picked up on the fact that you were Richard. I never heard anyone call you that name. No one. Not even Brock or Ryan.”
“I’ve always gone by Cord. It’s better if I don’t use my last name around the shelter.”
“You certainly fooled me.” Her voice trembled.
“I try to avoid notoriety. The less publicity about me the better since I prefer to blend in with the rest of the staff when I’m at the shelter. As soon as the tenants know who I am, they’re no longer at ease. I prefer to remain behind the scenes as much as possible at Renaissance House.”
“Well, I certainly didn’t figure it out.” A tortured sigh escaped her lips. “When I met you, I was afraid to ask you about Mr. McFarland in case you thought I was coming on to you as a way to get to him. I wanted you to believe I liked you for yourself and no other reason.”
While they were stopped at a light, he looked into her eyes. “After the day we sp
ent in Brighton yesterday, slithering off into the night without a word to me or a forwarding address to Gwen seemed a strange way of showing your interest.”
“You don’t understand.”
“Then help me.”
“I could feel myself getting more and more involved with you. The baseball game, the movie… I assumed we were breaking the rules of Renaissance House and I was afraid for you. Knowing you’d been a valued employee of Mr. McFarland’s for eight years, I wanted things to stay that way for you.
“It worried me that since my business was with him, and the FBI would undoubtedly be called in, you could get enmeshed in my personal problems and he might blame you for something you knew nothing about.”
Her explanation made a strange kind of sense. Cord was still incredulous that any of this had happened.
“Whether you believe me or not, I planned to contact you after I’d met with one of the McFarland family members, and had gotten answers about my parentage one way or the other.”
“So you picked on my sister next.”
“Not exactly. The second night I ate dinner at the shelter, I got brave and asked Mac if I could see Mr. McFarland so I could thank him personally for letting me stay there.
“He smiled and said Mr. McFarland would like that. I was told to make an appointment through Gwen on a weekday. Since I couldn’t afford to wait that long, I decided to talk to Mr. Cosgriff.”
“Arza?” Cord couldn’t keep up with her thought processes.
“Yes. We happened to meet at the bus stop on my first day at the shelter.”
Of course. Cord remembered the moment as if it was yesterday. She’d climbed on the bus before he could offer her a ride.
“When we started talking, one thing led to another. I found out he’d lived across the street from the mansion all his life, and that he and your grandfather Wilford were best friends. So I asked him about the kidnapping.”
Good grief.
“He told me your grandfather believed it was a woman employee at the hospital who’d doted on the baby and planned her abduction with an accomplice. Naturally, his comments made me think my mother could have been the employee, and that Frankie, the man I thought was my father, could have helped her.
“Mr. Cosgriff was friendly and open with me. Under the circumstances I thought maybe he would be the best person to confide in. If anyone would know a good way to approach your family, he would. But I was thwarted when I called the newspaper and found out he’d gone on vacation.”
“He always goes to Wyoming in June to be with his daughter.”
Kit nodded. “Since I didn’t know the unlisted phone numbers of your brother and parents, I called MicroVision, because there was an article about your brother’s business on the Internet. The receptionist told me he wouldn’t be back in his office until Thursday.”
“He’s flying home from Switzerland.”
“I guess I could have waited another day to set up an appointment with him, but after being with you, I just wanted to get everything over with so I could come clean. The only avenue left was to call your sister’s law firm. She’s an exceptional person, and very lovely, too.”
“I agree.”
Cord drove through the rear entrance to the mansion and came to a stop in front of the cottage. When he’d been here this morning, he’d had no idea of how his life was about to change. He would give anything to turn back the clock—or bury the knowledge that he now possessed. He took a deep breath.
“Come on. Let’s go inside.”
KIT WATCHED CORD CARRY her suitcase into the foyer, but he didn’t come around to help her out of the car.
He was angry. That scared her.
It didn’t seem as if he wanted to lash out or throw something at someone. This anger had deep roots. She knew he couldn’t bring himself to touch her because he felt betrayed, even violated by her deliberate deception.
Who could blame him for that? her heart cried. Certainly she couldn’t.
It took all the willpower Kit possessed not to run to him and throw her arms around him, beg his forgiveness.
Without saying a word, he disappeared into the kitchen and emerged in the living room seconds later with a can of beer. He found a chair and sat down with his legs apart, his arms resting on them while he bowed his head.
There was no more pretense between them now that they’d both been unmasked.
“You said I couldn’t leave Salt Lake yet, but Agent Simpson told me I was free to go. Did she decide there were more questions she wanted to ask me?”
He slowly lifted his eyes and stared at her as if he were trying to see into her. As his gaze wandered over her, Kit got a nervous, fluttery sensation in her stomach.
She bit her lip. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Maggie thinks you resemble our grandmother Cordell when she was about your age.”
No.
“Do you see a resemblance, too?” Kit cried.
His answer was a long time in coming. “Watching you stand there, imagining you in one of her outfits, imagining your brunette hair long enough to cascade to your waist as hers does in some family photographs, I admit there’s a superficial likeness.”
“No, Cord—” This was agony. Kit refused to believe it was happening.
He set his beer down and shot out of the chair, but his movements were too forceful. The can toppled, sending the liquid running over the edge of the table.
She heard him curse before he raced to the kitchen for a cloth.
Kit was utterly shattered by what he’d just told her. She felt as if she was having one of those dreams where she was underwater, trying to walk. Every step took a colossal effort.
Dazed, she sank down on the end of the sofa, watching him clean up the mess he’d made. She wanted to help, but she couldn’t. Her limbs refused to function.
When he came back in the room again she said, “You couldn’t be my brother. You…can’t be!”
His eyes glinted with pain. “You think I want to believe it? I’ve been falling deeper in love with you every minute since you showed up on the estate.”
All of her life Kit had waited to hear those words from the right man. She’d thought Cord was that man….
Her body quaked. “I should never have tried to deceive anyone. What have I done?” she moaned in torment.
“Don’t go there, Kit. I wasn’t honest with you, either. None of it matters now.”
“Yes, it does!” she retorted. “If I’d been straightforward, none of this would have happened. My DNA is going to be compared to your parents’. If it turns out to be a match, how am I ever going to look at you again? I could never think of you as a brother. Not in a trillion years!
“I’m in love with you,” she confessed. She couldn’t hold back any longer. “As I told you yesterday, it’s too soon to feel this way, too soon to say it, but there it is. You’re the most wonderful man I’ve ever known.
“Last night I told Janene I didn’t want to go back to California. You have to understand that from the first day we met, I wanted to move to Salt Lake and get a job in order to be near you, to get to know you.
“When Brock asked me if I was your latest girlfriend, I was overjoyed. That meant you were free to love me. I wanted to tell him that I planned to become your one and only girlfriend forever!”
She tried to wipe the tears from her cheeks, but they kept coming. “At first I was afraid you were being nice to me because it was your job to treat every tenant like she was a princess. I thought that was part of the Renaissance House technique, to charm women into making them believe the best about themselves.
“It worked on me. Everyone treated me with dignity. You made me feel protected and cherished. No man has ever made me feel like that in my life. You’re so amazing and fun, intelligent, so everything….
“You can’t be my brother! I refuse to believe—” But she never got the rest of the words out because he’d reached for her and crushed her in his arms.<
br />
Kit clung to him in the semidarkness, wishing she could preserve the moment indefinitely.
“Don’t compare our DNA tests,” she begged when her tears started to subside. “Except for Maggie, your family doesn’t know about me yet. They don’t ever need to know you and I met. Let me go back to California with my memories of you. If they’re all I ever have, I’ll find a way to live with it.”
“But I won’t!” He buried his face in her hair, murmuring endearments that brought her unbelievable joy.
“Then what’s the solution?” The words came out strangled. “Stay here and learn positively that I’m your sister? I’d be torn apart loving you, trying to avoid you, while at the same time embracing the family I’ve been denied all these years.”
She shook her head in abject despair before moving away from him on unsteady legs. “I couldn’t do it,” she whispered, looking into his eyes.
His face was a study in pain. “You think I could?”
The separation from his arms filled her with fresh anguish. She didn’t know where to go with all her feelings. There had to be a way out of this nightmare.
“What is it they say about everyone on the planet having a double somewhere?” she cried, desperate to find an answer that would make the heartache stop. “Maybe I do resemble your grandmother. Lots of people who aren’t related look like each other. The point is, it’s equally possible we’re not the same flesh and blood. I’m not ready to go through with the DNA comparison on a half chance. The wrong result would change our whole lives. I need time alone to consider all the ramifications first.”
“How much time?” he demanded.
“I don’t know. I don’t know….” Her turmoil was too great. “My problem is, I can’t think when I’m near you. The only thing for me to do is go to the airport in a taxi right now and wait on standby for the next flight to L.A.”
After a tension-filled silence he stated, “I’ll drive you.”
“No. That’s the one thing we can’t do. Otherwise I’ll beg you to take me away someplace where we can be together. I won’t want to get on the plane. It will only make things more impossible.”
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