“Oh boy.” It was all he said as he kneeled down to get to her level. The dark abyss of her room did not give him much room to see where he was standing, which was on top of her bag.
Juliet rolled her eyes and twisted to the other side of the bed, not saying a word. She hoped he would get in the bed with her but, as she warmed her blanket again, she got lost in the comfort and temporarily didn’t care whether he jumped in the bed with her or not. She thought it was his loss because it was so warm and cozy.
Feeling the bed sink, she slightly smirked, knowing he couldn’t resist. Still, she didn’t move. He came closer and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her into his chest. Moving her curly hair out of the way, Nik found a clear spot by her head.
“No class today?” He whispered it, trying to tread lightly, but Juliet took offense.
Surely, frightening Nik, Juliet slowly rose to a sitting position, shifting her head slightly to face him.
“For your information, I went to my morning classes. The alicorn in me keeps trying to come out and I don’t know what to do about it. Then I went to try and figure some info out myself but, of course, I came up blank. Then you and my dad didn’t answer the phone and I was exhausted, so I skipped the rest.” Crossing her arms, she laid back down and flipped back over so she couldn’t see his face.
“I forgot my phone in my locker and your dad's team found a hive of vampires so he had to shut his off. I’m here now, though. Is there anything I can do to help?”
He could always keep his calm so well when it came to her and her problems. It was when something was out of his control that he would get the look of paranoia on his face. Nik wrapped his arms around her again and, just like that, she felt a little less heavy in the heart.
“I just need answers, that’s all. I want to know who I am.” Juliet felt her eyes burn with fresh tears as she said the problem that seemed so simple. Nik brought his hand to her shoulder to comfort her and, with just his touch, she felt at ease.
“I know. But how is holing up in your room helping you find the answers you seek?” At times he could sound just like her father.
Again she rolled her eyes and burrowed deeper into her sheets. She knew he was right, but holing up in her room did make her feel better. She was less mentally exhausted having to put on a brave and kind face for the other students and professors. Being alone helped her stay grounded much more than being out in public.
“Well, now I have to finish the movie…and watch the next one.” She tried to skirt over the obvious, which was that Nik was right. So she went with sarcasm because that always helped her in these situations.
Nik chuckled as he held her tighter. Deep down, Juliet hoped that he would clear out the rest of his day to slum it with her, but she knew it was too good to be true. Especially if they were just sitting in there watching movies.
“Why don’t I stay for one movie, then we can have dinner together. But I’ll have to split after that to check in with my unit.” Nik, knowing it wasn’t what she wanted to hear, left sweet peck kisses all over the back of her neck, squeezing her in tight to his chest. Juliet giggled her compromising answer.
As he took out his phone to order their dinner ahead of time, she got the remote and picked her next movie. Lucky for him a Quentin Tarantino movie was up to play next and those were his favorite kinds. She shared his love for those types of movies and even more so because they were long films.
The movie she put on brought her spirits up, with the help of Nik, and he must have noticed because she felt his stomach rumbling from his hidden laughter. Juliet focused on her icy side and brought her gift to her fingertips, just enough to make them feel like they were snow covered. She stealthily flipped over and snuck her hands around him and up the back of his shirt.
Nik stumbled out of the bed with chattering teeth and, as he tried to dance off the coldness from her touch, he shuffled his feet, causing Juliet to shout out with laughter. Nik threw himself back under the blanket with her and squeezed her until he was warm enough to let go. Thanks to him, she felt as if she was almost back to normal.
Chapter 3
Routine Work
With all the new changes, Juliet tried to take them as they were and follow along without much fuss. As if it couldn’t get worse, Oberon hired a new school shrink for the students and the staff. It wasn’t mandatory, but it was definitely pushed. It was mostly for anyone who felt traumatized from the vampire attack, but there for anyone who needed to talk.
For someone who’d never been to a shrink, she thought it would be a welcoming gesture full of hope and comfort. For Juliet, someone who had been to many, it was more of a hassle and a waste of time. Memories of her previous sessions rushed back to her mind and put her in a slight panic. She was always required to go because of the shape her mother was in.
Images of her mother, Malina, flashed through her mind. The smell of liquor smacking her in the face, as if it were right under her nose. She shook her head, trying to erase the memory. As a distraction, she looked around the office she sat in.
It looked like a normal shrink's office, with a bunch of board games and abstract art that resembled the inkblot cards from the Rorschach test. Although, here there were lots of moon art scattered throughout the space. Juliet wondered if the doctor was a were because of the interest in the moon.
An all-black desk sat in the center of the back of the room, but there weren’t any chairs in front of it like usual. Instead, on the wall next to it was a couch and two fluffy lounge chairs that looked extremely comfortable. A bookshelf was filled with different genres of books and another bookshelf was filled with dvd cases, which was odd in itself when there were so many streaming options.
The decor distracted Juliet from the thoughts of her mom, but it didn’t stray her from the anxiety of meeting a new therapist. It seemed to be a trigger and she didn’t want to go down that dangerous spiral.
Juliet feared that the new shifter shrink would give her the same pathetic look of pity she'd come to expect from their kind. The doctors would always search for the "root" of her "issues". For a long time she noticed they leaned toward blaming her father for leaving, but they would never outright say it.
Though it was easier to go along with pointing the finger at Malachai, she often found herself defending him. Her go-to rebuttal was that her mother could have handled the entire situation differently. Instead, she sulked in the loss of a man and chose to let it ruin her life and Juliet’s. She lost sympathy for her mom the first time she realized how neglected she felt.
That’s when they would give her "the look", after hearing how against her mother she was. Not so much so that they would call social services, but enough for it to sound like it was more about attention than a cry for help. She hated every minute and had never found a doctor she actually felt comfortable with.
For a long while, Juliet thought that she was doomed because she had been diagnosed with so many different mental disorders. The more weird names of new illnesses that came, the more she grew reluctant toward participating in the sessions.
Finally, when she discovered her phoenix side it explained so much. And yet, her mental side still screamed for extra attention. Malachai noticed. Now that she had a parent that was present, she didn’t know how to respond when he suggested she speak to the therapist--although, it wasn’t exactly a suggestion as much as it was an order.
Juliet didn’t know how to handle having a parent that cared enough to make her go for the right reasons, so she didn’t fight him on it. She only tried to evade it nonchalantly. She made excuses for several weeks and had successfully gotten away with it. After her most recent slump, she couldn’t deny it any longer.
Nik knew to tread lightly in regards to her mental health, but even he tried to get her to go. It only took him one week to realize he shouldn’t push her. She secretly loved that he knew how to handle her mental relapses, but it also broke her heart at the same time. Especially when he was the one that died
and came back to life.
As the anxiety in Juliet rose, she stood and then she sat. Then she stood again, just to sit back down a second later. She switched to pacing the room as she counted every second that passed. Her hands grew numb as she wrung them over and over.
Juliet couldn’t find a place in the room that she felt secure enough to sit and stay in. She was sure that she had made a dent in the floor with her pacing pattern. When she thought she heard a noise outside the door, she sat back down and tapped her feet on the ground.
She always thought that meeting a doctor for the first time was more nerve-wracking than any of the other scheduled meetings after. Some of them had a great poker face and kept their look of pity until the end of the session. That was her least favorite part.
Her favorite part, which she couldn’t believe she had, was the feeling she got after she let everything out and spoke about her problems. It was a nice weight that was temporarily lifted off her shoulders. At least, until something else happened that she had to bottle up until her next session. Something always happened.
Ironically, Malachai finding her cooled things down for her mentally. She was much more damaged when she was with her mother. At least now she had shifter issues that were more important, that distracted her from thinking about her past with her mother.
That was a subject she was hoping wouldn’t come up during her first session. It was doubtful, since every therapist just wanted to get to the root of the problem every single time. Juliet’s pessimism was winning, as she was sure this session would be the same as the others.
Juliet looked at the clock on the wall, then at the watch on her hand to make sure that they matched. The shrink was five minutes late. That was unusual. Therapists liked to use every second to their advantage. So for this one to not be here on time already had Juliet on edge. It was usually the patient that was scrambling in at the last moment.
Impatient, Juliet gave the doctor five more minutes. Then she would leave and say she tried. Four excruciatingly long minutes went by when she grabbed her bag and stood to leave. With her hand on the door, she opened it, only to jump back and shout.
A short woman stood on the other side of the door with a smirk on her face and two iced-coffee drinks in her hands.
“Ten minutes is your cut-off? Wow! I actually thought it was going to be much shorter. I’ve been standing here this whole time. If you lost your patience a little sooner, your drink wouldn’t be as melted.” The doctor's eyes squinted as she giggled and walked past Juliet, handing her one of the drinks.
“Sorry about that. I just like to know when enough is enough for my clients. And given your reputation, I assumed it would have been much quicker for us to meet. But I do love to be surprised.”
Stunned by how unprofessional the doctor seemed, Juliet stood there watching her. Until one thing the doctor said finally got her attention. She sipped her drink and continued her awkward staring.
“My reputation?”
“Don’t tell me that comes to you as a shock. For one, you’re Malachai’s kid. He’s the head of the military now and part of the new council. That alone gives you a rep. Two, you’re a semi-new phoenix.” She ticked them off of her black manicured fingertips.
“And three, in the ‘normal’ world, your psych file is…large. But everyone has a past. I’m just here to try and help you so you’re not a danger to yourself or the people around you. With your gifts, I mean.”
The doctor took a sip of her own drink and graciously fell back on the couch. Another bizarre behavior. Juliet wasn’t sure how to respond or how to take what the shrink had said. Slowly, she sat down next to the doctor on the couch.
No other therapist ever shared a seat with her the way this doctor was. Juliet was enamored with her and her odd nature and she couldn’t help but analyze her every move. The doctor giggled as she studied Juliet back. Of course, that made her squirm.
“This is going to be fun,” the shrink said as she squinted her eyes and drank some more of her coffee.
Juliet took the moment to memorize every detail of the doctor. Her silky black hair hung past her shoulders in effortless waves, framing a delicate and youthful face. Her dark eyes were shaped like a cat’s and her smile came out like a pout. A friendly one, if that was even a possibility.
She was petite and looked like she could be a student there herself. And her spirit, it wasn’t like the other shrinks she’d ever met before, uptight and reserved. This doctor was the complete opposite. Kindness flowed out of her and it was calming.
“So, now that we’ve checked each other out, what do you say we get this baby started. My name is Dr. Ember Dillian. You don’t have to call me doctor if you don’t want to. Call me whatever makes you feel comfortable.”
Juliet couldn’t believe what she heard. This doctor was more and more untraditional the more time she spent with her. She almost had to pinch herself to make sure she wasn’t in a dream.
“Before I do the whole intro thing, are there any questions you have for me?” Dr. Ember put her drink down and tucked her feet underneath her legs. Juliet could only shake her head. Of course she had questions. She had hundreds. None she was brave enough to voice.
“Alrighty then. I am thirty-two years old, not a shifter, and an expert of all things brainy. I’m a big movie buff and I write poems as a hobby. I’m old friends with Oberon, which is how and why I’m here. I have a strict no distraction policy, so we’ve got each other fully for the next thirty minutes. From your records, I know you already know this process. So, Miss Juliet, give it to me. Where would you like to start? What’s your story?”
What a fully loaded question for Juliet to uncover in only thirty minutes.
Chapter 4
Dr. Ember
As easy as it was for Juliet to confide in the new doctor, she wasn’t ready to dive so deep into her past yet. Especially about her mother. So she kept it simple and gushed about the craziest year of her life. There was only so much she could say in the thirty minutes she had about Nik, Malachai, and Myreen. So she tried to be vague, knowing they would revisit some of those things in the future.
“Dang, girl. And that’s only a year. Good thing we can start on time next session. I’ll be bringing popcorn.” Dr. Ember stood to stretch and laugh at her own joke. Throwing herself back on the couch, she reached her hand over to pat Juliet softly on the back. Juliet had never felt so relieved after a session. And she only spoke for thirty minutes!
As Juliet relished in the weight that had been lifted off her shoulders, she imagined how she’d feel after a full session. One that went deeper into her past. Maybe this doctor could actually help her.
“I feel like I need a nap after that.”
The doctor smiled and slapped her knees. “Alright. So since we only have a few minutes left, I like to use this time to give a little homework. Does that sound okay to you?”
Dr. Ember looked at Juliet with soft and patient eyes. She had always been given homework after her sessions, but they were always mandatory. To be asked felt as untraditional as the entire session went, and it brought her comfort. She was curious what a doctor like that would assign her. With a nod, Juliet responded, causing the doctor to shine a bright smile.
“Great! I love that you keep surprising me. So I noticed how much you rely on music and your playlists to get zen. While I love that and personally think it’s wonderful, I’m sure it’s not something you’ll want to start resenting in the future.”
Juliet chuckled. “That would never happen.” She was adamant, as Dr. Ember shared a smile with her, giving Juliet a sympathetic look at the same time.
“You’d be surprised, you sweet old soul, you.” The doctor patted Juliet on the back again as she raised an eyebrow. Dr. Ember’s pouty smile came back and it was contagious. Juliet was entirely and completely smitten with the doctor who already felt more like a friend.
“So what I’d like you to work on is trying something new within the same platform.”
“I’ve tried that already. Lots of times, in fact.”
The doctor shook her head, not taking that as a valid response. “Not the way you’re thinking. I mean trying a new genre or finding a podcast. Something to keep it fresh and open for new possibilities. Do you know how exciting it is when you find a new song or a new voice to get lost in? It’s like finding a new author and discovering they have lists of books you can binge read.” Dr. Ember looked at Juliet encouragingly. “Is that okay for you?” The doctor asked with a slight hesitation.
Then Juliet nodded.
“Awesome! I so look forward to what you’ve discovered next time we meet. I’d like to see you twice a week. Our first session of the week, like this one today, will be here in my office. But for our second session it will only be a quick thirty minute catch up and I’d love to meet outside of the Dome. We can meet for coffee or milkshakes, whatever you decide. I’ll be following up sometime before we meet again so we can discuss where and when. How does that sound?”
The fact that Dr. Ember kept asking how Juliet felt about her requests still felt rare and she knew how special this shrink was. It was like finding an alicorn in the shifter world. And Juliet’s mind was at such ease that she couldn’t stop herself from flinging into the doctor's arms for an awkward hug. The doctor rubbed her back and giggled as she pulled away.
“Seriously love that you keep surprising me. And I think I’ll be saying that a lot. You just might be my new favorite, but that’s kept just between us two.” Dr. Ember winked and stood to lead them to the door.
Slightly embarrassed, Juliet kept her head down as she walked out of the room without another look back. She rushed to her room, feeling light on her feet and in her mind. She always felt that after she spoke about whatever she bottled up. But this time it felt different. She was much more mentally relieved than she’d ever been before.
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