The fact that he asked instead of ordering her was proof that he was trying to change for her. Or maybe he was trying to change for himself. And that was something she could be even more proud of. If he could do that, then she could try to brave the world outside of her room.
“Okay.” It was all he needed to hear before he got up to leave.
The moment the door closed behind him, she rolled over and hugged the sheets close. She didn’t get lost in the movie again, though. She stared at the ceiling, lost in the chaos of her own thoughts. The only thing keeping her together was the reminder of people who cared about her. It brought her enough peace and comfort that she finally drifted off into a dreamless slumber.
***
Juliet woke up late because she never set an alarm. She didn’t think she’d be able to fall back asleep, so she wasn’t prepared for her dinner with Malachai. She wasn’t late enough that it had to be cancelled, but it was late enough that she didn’t have time to change out of her pajamas.
As she rushed out the door, all she had time to grab were her keys. The other students were making their way to the dining hall for dinner, so the halls were packed. Juliet made sure to stay close to the wall, where she wasn’t bumping into other kids. At least she tried not to.
She heard the snickers from some of the students and tried to ignore them, but it put her even more on edge. Slowing her pace, Juliet did her best to distract herself and imagine her headphones were on her head, with music blocking out the outside noise. Without much success, she knew she needed more.
Balanced and grounded, Juliet would know that they were probably just wondering why she was running through the halls in her pjs. But this mentally unstable Juliet was in a highly delicate mindset that convinced her they were all making fun of her. Knowing she shouldn’t care about what they thought, she did her best to try and stay sane.
Juliet began to hum a Beatles song called Help. Completely ignoring the fact that it would make her look even more crazy, she hummed louder and couldn’t stop. The familiarity of the song kept her adrenaline down. So regardless of the stares, she kept humming.
Finally getting around the corner that led to her father's office, she sped up. Suddenly another student rushed around the same corner and they both collided into each other. Juliet didn’t know what she hit her head on, but it instantly made her frustrated as it brought back memories of her more clumsy days.
She began to tremble and felt herself losing control. The student she crashed into stood up wobbly as he rubbed his shoulder. When he saw the fire in Juliet’s eyes, he put his hands in front of him and slowly backed away with wide and frightened eyes. But she couldn’t stop herself. It was too late.
It was as if a switch flipped in Juliet’s mind. Her heart tried to fight the blackout from happening. She stood on her own wobbly feet, still shaking from head to toe. The noise around her finally disappeared, replaced with a loud and shrieking ring.
As Juliet raised her hands to cover her head, two ice whips escaped her fingers. Just then, Malachai ran up to them with Nik and Dr. Ember by his side as the other students backed away. All the adrenaline racing through her made her vision blur and her heart speed up. She felt herself going down and tried to catch her fall. But when her fists touched the ground, the whips exploded.
She heard a few screams. Chaos erupted around her. But Juliet didn’t have time to run away. Her eyes closed and her brain shut down. Succumbing to the welcoming silence and darkness, she gave in and let it take her.
Chapter 8
Going Dark
Juliet woke up on the couch in her dad's pristine office. She sat up fast and instantly regretted it as nausea overwhelmed over. Dizziness rushed her, causing her to lay back down. As she groaned from the discomfort, she slid her knees up to her chest, hugging them tightly.
“No, no. Lay on your back and put your feet up. It’ll help, I promise.” Nik’s gentle voice soothed her to a calmness that she badly needed. Bringing pillows to rest underneath her feet, Nik gently placed them down, then bent over for a soft kiss.
Malachai coughed, causing Nik to pull away and Juliet to blush. She peeked over at him and noticed he had a bandage wrapped around his hand. Seeing her line of sight, Malachai proudly raised his wounded hand to rest above his chest.
“That’s quite a trick you got there, Hun. Very impressive.” His support was a sweet gesture, but it still made her feel uncomfortable. She couldn’t believe she hurt her father. And that realization made her sick to her stomach as she thought of her mom’s death, which was her own fault.
“I’m so sorry. Is anyone else hurt?” The thought of her causing harm to a student brought tears to her eyes. But Nik was there to catch them.
“No, Jay. Only Malachai got hurt. And that was to save you from your own whips. I didn’t know you could do that.” He looked slightly hurt as his eyes found his feet and it made Juliet feel guilty for not bringing him up to speed. There just wasn’t any time.
“It really was awesome. The way it changed from ice to lava, just cool. Maybe pick a different time and place next time,” Nik joked as he slid in closer to her.
“How are you feeling, Juliet?” Dr. Ember’s sweet voice was a nice refreshment. But still, Juliet thought they were all there to confront her, so all she could do was shrug her shoulders. Everything seemed to make her emotional, so Juliet tried with all her might to keep her tears at bay.
“That’s alright. I’m here when you’re ready.” The doctor gently brushed Juliet’s hair back and stood to leave. But Juliet stopped her as Dr. Ember put her bag over her shoulder.
“Why were you all here? Was it an intervention?” Juliet didn’t want to backpedal. She wanted to know right there and then if they would ambush her that way.
Both Malachai and the doctor went to Juliet's side as Nik took her hand in his. With sad eyes, they each stared at her and it struck her right in the heart. Tears welled up. It would take one blink for the waterfall to flow.
“No, sweetie. Your father invited us to join you both for dinner because he thought you might like the company. That’s all. If it’s alright for me to ask, why was your first assumption that we were all against you?”
The obvious answer would have been the simple, one word name: Malina. Or maybe it, in fact, was her father’s fault for leaving in the first place. She didn’t know and couldn’t answer. Especially not in front of her father and her boyfriend.
Panic began to fill her veins, which was unsettling, because she just felt relieved after discovering they were there just for her and not to lecture her. Although, the way they each looked at her with worry thick in their eyes, it might end up that way, anyway. Her first instinct was to center herself and act normal, but she thought they might be too smart for that.
Rethinking her plan to act like she was fine, Juliet took a deep breath.. She let go of Nik’s hand and buried her face in her hands as she put her walls down completely--a first since she spoke about her mom with Myreen.
“When I was on my way home yesterday, I bumped into an older woman and she reminded me of my mom. It completely sent me off my scale and I’ve just been trying to recover from it. That’s all.”
It felt final because she thought the explanation was enough. But with a stubborn father, a perceptive boyfriend, and a highly intelligent therapist, she should've known it was far from over. Each of them were smart enough not to attack her with their questions or concerns, so they took it slow for her.
“Why would seeing someone familiar to your mother bring so much gloom to you?” The doctor asked first. Both Malachai and Nik looked at their feet.
Juliet was sure they thought they knew the answer--she was the cause of her mother's death. But Juliet knew it wasn’t that. It was far more than that. Her whole life after Malachai left and before he found her again was the cause for her reaction and she knew that. But how long until the doctor did, as well?
Dr. Ember looked around at their sullen faces and sat in the cha
ir across from them, putting her bag down and taking off her shoes, seeming to get comfortable.
“What do you say we eat the dinner that’s here and we can catch me up to speed on what you feel comfortable enough catching me up on? Can we eat here in this area, Malachai? In my professional opinion it would be more convenient for your daughter to stay in the position she is currently in.”
This doctor was as smart as Juliet thought. She asked the questions in a one-sided way that you couldn’t say no to. It was inviting, rather than disenchanting. Malachai and Nik grabbed the food and drinks and brought everything over to the sitting area.
“So Juliet, why didn’t either of these valiant men dare to make eye contact with you after the mention of your mother?” Dr. Ember jumped right in without sounding like she was scolding or forcing an answer.
“Um, well, the day my dad found me again was the day my mom passed away.” Juliet took a sip of her drink as her mouth got dry with regret for opening up about it. She hadn’t really spoken to her dad about it since the day it happened, either.
“I’m so very sorry for your loss,” the doctor said as she sipped her own drink. Nik and Malachai were both silently letting the conversation play out while they ate without making a sound. “That day must have been such a hard and intense day for you.”
Juliet could see the sorrow in Dr. Ember’s eyes and looked down at her food to pick at. Nik gently rubbed circles on her arm, causing goosebumps to rise. Juliet nodded in agreement with what the doctor had said.
“Did something happen that day that had to do with a bar? I’m just trying to help with why you reacted that way after seeing that woman last night.”
Man, that doctor was good. “Um, not necessarily. It wasn’t the fact that she was in the bar. It was how she stumbled out and spoke to me.” There it was. The scratch in her throat tempted to make the tears come out, but Juliet refused and held her breath until the feeling went away.
“Do you mind clarifying?”
It suddenly felt like they were in a session and it made Juliet squirm. She took her feet off the stack of pillows and she hugged them close to her body. She took a few deep breaths and Nik leaned in to whisper to her. “You can stop if you want to, I’m sure she’ll understand.”
Juliet thought it was sweet of Nik to be so in tune with her emotions, but she felt she had already gotten in too deep. It was a plus that she favored the doctor so much. She slightly shook her head and gave him a small, tight smile.
“Well, it was the smell on the old woman, how thick the stench of liquor radiated off her body. That reminded me of what my mom smelled like… every day. The old woman was rude when I tried to help her to her feet. That reminded me of how my mom would hate my help when she was that out of control.”
Her sadness slowly turned to anger, though not toward anyone in the room. There were tons of other reasons why the night before was traumatic for her. Then Juliet saw Malachi squirming in his own seat and it made her feel bad for him. The guilt that she was sure ran through him showed in his body language. She could tell that the doctor noticed, as well.
“I see. So what you saw last night doesn’t really have to do with the day of your mom's passing, but more like the time you were with her before that?” Again she asked the question like she didn’t know the answer to it, even though they all knew she did. Juliet nodded.
“Huh. Ok. Well, what do you say that’s enough talking for the night? We could continue this conversation when you come back into my office. Does that sound okay?”
She was sweet to ask Juliet. And again, all she could do was nod. She was glad she stopped because that wasn’t the conversation she wanted to have with her in front of her dad. They both just reached a common ground and she liked it there. She didn’t want to mess that up.
“Until then, Juliet, why don’t you try something for me. Whenever something from your past comes up and it’s eating away at your heart, do me a favor and list three things in the present that make you happy, things that make you who you are today.”
It seemed simple enough, so she nodded.
“Alright, I’m going to head out. Juliet, I hope to see you at our next session. The same goes for the two of you, as well. Thank you for dinner! Juliet, my phone is always on. Please feel free to call or send me a message.” Dr. Ember closed the door behind her, leaving them all speechless.
Juliet was grateful that they didn’t have to speak about it anymore. It felt completely unfinished, but the doctor did say they would continue the conversation the next time she saw her, which would be in two days. She could keep it together for another day. Malachai sat awkwardly.
“Why don’t I help you back to your room, then let you rest.” Nik was so incredibly gentle with her as he helped her get to her feet.
Malachai stood and patted Juliet’s back as they walked out. She couldn’t help but hope he didn’t take her confession to heart. But by the way his lips turned into a frown, she knew it would eat him up just as much as it did her.
The walk to her bedroom was quiet and just as weird--exactly what she was trying to avoid in the first place, though it seemed to have found her regardless. Her mind was numb from the fact that she actually opened up to some professional about her mother.
Who knew what answer she would finally get now that she didn’t have to worry about being placed into foster care? Her eyes closed the moment her head touched her pillow and she hoped and wished with all her might that not one dream would find her.
Chapter 9
Dad’s Day Off
When the alarm on Juliet's phone went off, she subconsciously groaned because she knew it was early. Then the realization hit her that she had slept all night with no trace of nightmares. She sprang up and smiled as she turned her alarm off.
She opened her phone and noticed all the text messages she‘d received from Malachai. They were sweet and short, but not something he usually did, so it stood out to her. Still, it brought an even bigger smile to her face.
She felt well-rested and it was an instant booster for her to have a good day. Even with everything else that was bothering her, she wanted to appreciate the good night’s sleep she got. Before starting her morning routine, Juliet responded to her dad's messages and sent a few to Nik, as well. Who replied just as quickly.
It was hard for her to accept that there were people she could count on. Things were different with her friends because they all had their own lives, and it was understandable. But even so, she knew they were there for her if she ever needed them.
The moment she finished getting ready for the day, she assured herself that she would get back to the balance that she had before, no matter how difficult it would be. The first thing she wanted to do was have a good and full breakfast, so her first stop was the dining hall. Only when she opened the door, her plans suddenly changed.
“Well, hello! Good morning!” Malachai’s deep voice rumbled loudly as it echoed off the walls.
Juliet jumped back. “Whoa! Morning? Didn’t we do this already in our texts?” She giggled, getting herself back together.
“Yes, we did. I thought you and I could grab breakfast together. It’ll give us a chance to talk. Nik tells me you have lots of questions. I can’t promise I know all the answers, but I’ll give you the best I’ve got.” Again he caught her off guard. She didn’t think the day could get much better.
Until they began walking through the hallways. Malachai’s back got as straight as it could get as he towered over the students. It confused her, but she passed it off as him being overprotective. Then the whispers came from every direction. It was hard for her to make out what they said because there were so many people talking. Juliet looked around at the frightened faces of the students and scrunched her eyebrows together. She couldn’t understand what they were so afraid of.
“I heard she threw an icicle at her boyfriend's head.”
It was the only rumor she had to hear to understand everyone’s flustered faces. She in
stantly remembered her ice whip disaster and her face turned as red as it ever had before. Her feet froze and she couldn’t move. But Malachai had her back.
With one hand, he cupped her elbow and gave her a slight push. It was all it took for her to move her feet. With her dad's tight hold, she used it as her crutch to stay sane and not have another episode. She had already hurt her dad's other hand and she didn’t need any more rumors floating around.
Regulating her breathing was the most important thing to focus on. The whispers all merged together and nothing was coherent enough for her to understand, so that helped. Otherwise, she would only focus on what they were saying.
Malachai steered them away from the dining hall, which threw Juliet off. He stuck his head through a few doors until he found an empty room and pulled her inside. She found a seat and closed her eyes, trying not to let her emotions get the best of her.
“Sorry,Hun. I heard them when I was on my way to your room and I thought with me there they would stop, but they didn’t. I would still like to have breakfast with you, though. How about I go get the food and you wait for the halls to clear and sneak back to my office?” He was flustered and it surprisingly calmed Juliet.
“Can we just leave? Let’s go get breakfast at this diner. You’ll love it.” She stood shakily, but her words came out brave. She strongly wanted to get out of the Dome.
Malachai looked stumped. He very much liked to follow his schedule to a T. She was sure that he scrambled a few things around anyway to have breakfast with her. But for him to leave entirely when it wasn’t written in stone was a whole lot to ask.
“You know what? Let’s do it.”
Excitedly, Juliet grabbed his hand and raced out of the empty room. Without a look back, she ran through the halls to get to the exit. And to her happy surprise, with her dad by her side, she didn’t have to sign a thing. They got onto the platform faster than she’d ever have gotten if she were alone.
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