by A L Crouch
“She couldn’t wait for me to finish one damned tour!” Sulley continued, the rage building in his voice as he began to pace once again.
“. . . and Gary. He was only supposed to stay with Gram while I was away. I should have known that he would take everything from me that I cared about, that I had worked for. He always had to have everything, while I had NOTHING!”
Sulley paced away from me and I sucked in a ragged breath. I couldn’t stop my body from shaking. It was Sulley, I told myself over and over in my mind. Sulley killed my mother. Sulley, the man I had loved like a father.
“Sshhh, it’s . . . okay Alexandra. We’ll find . . . another way out of this. Have to get you . . . to the front door . . .” Donovan strained beside me. I felt his warmth on my hand but it quickly vanished.
“When you came back I was almost glad that I couldn’t get to you that night,” Sulley chuckled. “I actually thought we could start over, that we could have a second chance. You look so much like her. I thought maybe . . .”
“This way!” Donovan called out to me and I crawled cautiously towards his voice.
I tried to drown out Sulley’s voice, to not hear his crazed words, but a part of me was eager to know the truth. I wanted to understand, to know why.
“Good, keep coming,” Donovan whispered and I crept closer.
“But you had eyes for Will from the get go. A whore just like your mother,” Sulley hissed.
I stammered as if he had punched me in the gut and almost lost my balance.
“Don’t listen to him, Alexandra. Just . . . listen . . . to my voice. You have to keep moving.”
I forced my body forward though I trembled, paralyzed with shock and fear and growing rage. As I felt along the wall, my fingers found the doorway into the living room, but something caught my attention before I could make it to the safety of the carpet. I smelled something; a foul, pungent odor filled the room and burned my eyes. Suddenly the hissing made sense. Sulley had turned on the gas burners on the stove. The room was filling with the flammable vapor.
I contemplated making a run for the door, but was unsure if I could make it without stumbling in the dark. As I readied myself to make the charge, the electricity flickered, filling the house with sputtering light and then came back on. Turning slowly, I s tared in horror at Sulley’s twisted face just feet away. A sinister smile curled his lips and for a few tormenting moments our eyes remained locked on one another.
“Chief. Chief, this is Conley. Come in chief,” Conley’s voice erupted from Sulley’s belt.
Sulley’s eyes remained locked on mine as he reached for his radio.
“Go ahead,” he answered.
“We got a call that there were gunshots heard coming from your house. Is everything alright sir? Over.”
Sulley smirked and cleared his throat. “No! It’s Galia! He attacked us. I tried to stop him, but I was too late. He killed Alex. Oh God . . . hurry! I smell gas!”
My heart sank in my chest and my stomach heaved. He was going to kill me. I would be dead and no one would ever know it was him, that he had killed my mother, Gary, Brightman, Will . . . and me. I glanced behind me to the front door and saw Will, lying in a pool of blood in the entryway. I wanted to run to him, but I knew I wouldn’t make it. I turned back to Sulley and met the hatred in his cold stare. He would catch me no matter where I tried to run, there was nothing I could do.
“Hang in there Chief, we’re on the way,” Conley assured and Sulley dropped the radio to the floor.
“Looks like your luck has finally run out,” Sulley hissed.
“Alexandra, the knife . . . do you see it?” Donovan whispered from beside me.
I looked to the floor. There, beside where the radio came to a clanking rest was the snake-handled knife. I gave a faint nod and shot a look back up to Sulley. He took a step towards me and I took an unsteady step back.
“The lights . . . I have to take them out. When I say so, grab the knife. Do not hesitate . . . use it!” Donovan instructed.
“What?” I called out just as Sulley charged at me.
The sound of a thousand shards of shattering glass form every light bulb in the living room erupted in succession and caused Sulley to hesitate as the house was again plunged into darkness.
“Now Alexandra!” Donovan screamed and I dove in the direction of the knife, my hands flailing.
I heard Sulley stumble behind me with an enraged howl and then heard him charge at me again. My frantic fingers connected to the radio. I knew the knife was to the left of it. My fingers gripped desperately as a hand clamped down on my sore ankle and dug into my skin. I screamed and kicked as hard as I could with my other leg. I connected with bone and flesh, but Sulley’s grip only tightened. He started to drag me towards him.
“I don’t know how you keep doing it, but you’re not going to get away from me this time,” he growled. “I tried to warn you, to get you to leave. I even tried to make Will look guilty, to get you to see that I was the one who could protect you. I killed Brightman for you! But it wasn’t enough, was it? I showed you mercy and you still ran off with him. No more . . . it’s over.”
I continued to kick as hard as I could, digging my fingers into the wood of the floor. Overpowering hands gripped my shoulders and flung me onto my back. I pushed and struggled, beating against the iron hands that pinned me and wrapped around my throat.
“Donovan . . .gh . . .” I gargled as Sulley’s hands crushed my larynx.
I couldn’t breathe, every ounce of air was being wrung from my lungs. I felt my body go numb. Though my heart raced in my ears I suddenly felt very tired, like I could slip away and bring this nightmare to a close. Sulley had won and I was dead. A part of me longed for it, welcomed it even.
In an instant Sulley’s body was flung back and the crushing grip on my throat slipped away as his fingers groped for me. I flipped back over and gasped for air and choked on the little I was able to suck in. I heard the muffled gasps from above me as my body began to tingle and come back to life.
“The knife!” Donovan strained.
Shaking the fog from my head and still coughing, I gripped along the floor but my fingers were numb. I moved my hands back and forth until I finally connected with the cold metal handle. With a heaving breath I wrapped my fingers around the knife. I could still hear the struggling from above me and could feel Sulley’s menacing fingers groping for me, reaching again for my throat.
“I . . . can’t hold him. Now Alexandra!” Donovan shrieked and his grip on Sulley was lost.
Sulley lunged at me again and with a wild cry I thrust the knife forward and felt it tear into flesh and come to rest against solid bone before I let my hands drop to the floor. I heard Sulley’s anguished howl and it reminded me of the night of the accident, and of Gary’s final dying shriek. Sulley stumbled backwards and I shot to my feet.
Lights flashed through the windows in the distance and I heard the wailing of sirens coming toward the house. I looked up and saw Sulley, hunched over, the knife embedded in his gut. He looked down in shock, and then wrapping his hands around the wound, he spun around and staggered out of the kitchen. I watched, my body trembling, as he stumbled into the living room.
The sirens got closer and the house flickered red and blue. I followed behind Sulley, not daring to take my eyes off of him until I saw with a start that Will was looking at me from where he lay on the floor, struggling to move. I took the opportunity to go to him, to help him, but stopped cold. Sulley began to laugh; a deep, menacing laugh that turned my blood to ice in my veins.
When he reached the entryway he turned and smiled, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth. He held up a chrome lighter and slowly flipped the cap back with his thumb.
“Oh God no,” I whispered and remembered the gas that was filling the house.
Sulley flicked the ignition and smiled as the flame grew in his hand. I watched as he tossed the lighter towards me and turned to run. The world became slow and fuzzy all
around me as I watched the flame dance and flicker in the air as it came towards me.
I bolted for the front door, but it was as if my legs were sinking into deeper sand with every step. As I neared the front of the living room I saw Sulley reach the front door only to be pulled back by groping hands. Will clutched onto his calf from where he lay bloodied on the floor, pulling Sulley back and keeping him from escaping.
“Looks like we both have an appointment in HELL!” Will gurgled and Sulley shrieked above the sirens that roared down the street.
Behind me I could hear the clank of the lighter as it hit the kitchen floor. I stopped running. I knew I wouldn’t make it. I felt a calm wash over me as I accepted my fate. I turned to face the erupting flames.
There, in the flesh before me, was Donovan – as clear to me than any tangible thing I had ever laid eyes on. His blue eyes burned into mine and his face was a mask of pure love and serenity. He held out his arms to me as the house trembled and filled with a gruesome orange light. Tears fell from my eyes as I ran to him. He caught me in his arms and wrapped them around me, and his warm body pressed up against mine, solid flesh on flesh. I looked into his face at last as he wiped my tears and drew me closer.
An explosive wave of heat and destruction erupted around us and we fell to the floor. I felt nothing but the warmth of his skin against mine. Amid the roar of detonation and the wail of sirens around us, I could hear only the strumming against me, slow and steady. I could feel only Donovan’s body engulfing me while the world around us blew apart.
As I began to lose consciousness, I blinked and looked up again. My gaze locked with Donovan’s and he looked down on me with concern and unwavering concentration. The house around us fractured and was consumed by bright hot flame and roaring destruction, but I couldn’t see it. The last things I saw before I closed my eyes for a final time were Donovan’s strong arms embracing me and the two great, luminously feathered wings that shielded me from harm.
Chapter 14
When I opened my eyes, I had to blink several times. I squinted against the radiant light that surrounded me. It enveloped me like a soft, downy blanket. There was no sky, no earth, only this warm brightness. No worry, fear, or sadness existed in my mind. For the first time since my family’s accident, I felt completely at peace.
Time was suspended, or it simply failed to exist at all. The horror of the past hour melted away. Nothing else mattered except for this place, this contentment. I wanted to lose myself in this state of tranquility, to sink back into it and let it engulf me, embrace me, forever.
“Alexandra,” a voice called to me. There was no mistaking the rich velvet of it.
I looked up to the hand that offered itself to me and I reached for it. When our hands met, flesh against flesh, I felt a jolt of warmth rush through me. He lifted me to my feet from where I lay cradled by the serene, radiant glow. I stared into his blue eyes and lifted a hand to touch his face. When I did, he cradled my palm there.
“Is this real?” I whispered to him, amazed at the smoothness of my own voice.
Donovan smiled. “It’s more real than anything you’ve ever known.”
I took in the atmosphere surrounding us. Luminous white light danced from all around. There was neither a beginning nor an end to it. We were alone yet I knew that we were surrounded by the energy of endless, bounding love.
The presence I felt with us was overwhelming. It felt something like a rite of passage, where hundreds of friends and family waited to congratulate me on the other side of forever. I couldn’t see them, but I could sense them in the distance amidst the constant light.
“Am I dead?” I asked.
Donovan smiled and kissed my palm. “No, you’re not dead.”
“Then where are we? Is this where you come from? It’s beautiful . . . beyond words.”
“It has never been as been as beautiful as it is right now,” he said holding my eyes with his.
I was confused. This had to be heaven. I had to be dead. I was at total peace with that if it meant I could stay here with Donovan forever.
“If I’m not dead, then why am I here?”
Donovan shook his head. “You’re not dead, Alexandra. You still have so much life to live. You’ve not yet fulfilled your life’s purpose.”
“Did you save me?”
I remembered the explosion, though it felt so very long ago. I remembered the fire that engulfed the small cabin. I remembered seeing Donovan, as clearly as I saw the orange flames and splintered ashes.
“You saved yourself. You believed, wholeheartedly in your purpose, in me . . . in Him.” Donovan motioned to the space surrounding us. “You believed, as the world was crumbling around you, that He was with you . . . and that I was with you. And more than ever, I was.”
I tried to remember the terrifying details of those moments before, but it was hard to conjure the horrific images in this place which emanated only tranquility. My heart sank when I remembered the grotesque way in which Sulley’s face had contorted with hatred as he attacked me. I remembered how it felt to pierce through his flesh with his own knife. And I remembered being frozen with fear and dread as the lighter flew into the air, dooming us all.
More so, I remembered the calm that washed over me in the split seconds before the house exploded into flames. I remembered thinking that no matter what happened I was overwhelmingly thankful. I had been more blessed in life than most people. I was able to see and feel tangible evidence of the most incredible love of all. I was able to see, hear and feel my guardian angel, who had been sent to protect me and the life that God had created for me.
In those last violent moments I had looked at death unafraid, because if it was time, if I had served my purpose, then I could accept it because I knew the kind of love that awaited me on the other side. I had been lucky enough to experience it in my mortal life on earth. When I turned to see Donovan waiting for me, arms open, I let go of everything else: all the doubt and fear that had plagued my life. I just believed.
“I saw you, like I can see you now,” I smiled.
“I told you that you would when you were ready.”
My smile faded. “It was Sulley . . . the whole time. I don’t understand why.”
“Some things you will never understand.” Donovan squeezed my hand. “Sulley was sick. He was torn between the truth and his love for you, and the jealousy and hate that skewed his perception. I should have seen it. I am so sorry. I failed you. I let your love for him blind me.
“You’ve never failed me,” I whispered. “I just can’t believe that he killed them.”
The tranquility in my heart began to fade.
“My mom . . . she always said that she loved him as a brother. And Gary. How could he murder his own flesh and blood?”
“Some people are blinded to the good, the beauty of the world. They overlook the gifts that are meant for them because they become consumed with want of another’s. That’s what happened to Sulley, and with so many others who cause such death and destruction. They let evil consume them because that is all they choose to see in the world.”
Donovan sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “Sometimes it’s easier to see the darkness around you than it is to look up to the light.”
I nodded, trying to understand. “And some people try to hide from the darkness. They run from it . . .”
Donovan nodded knowingly. “You’re talking about Will.”
“Is he dead?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper.
“Yes, Alexandra,” he said and wiped the tear the fell into my cheek. “He’s dead. I’m so sorry.”
“You knew he was going to die, didn’t you? That’s why you didn’t want me to get too close . . .”
“I sensed it, that his time was coming. I didn’t know how or why, but I knew. That’s why I wanted you far away from him,” Donovan sighed. “But he gave his life to protect you, and for that I will be eternally grateful.”
“Is he . . . here? Is he okay?” I cou
ld not hold back the sobs.
Donovan held me close. “He is here. I can feel his presence just beyond us. You can feel it too Alexandra, if you search with your heart and not with your eyes.”
I closed my eyes releasing a row of crystalline tears. I ignored the grief that I felt and reached out with all of my heart to the space beyond us. I was immediately consumed with feelings of overwhelming love and joy.
“He sends his love to you,” Donovan whispered into my ear.
In my mind, in my heart, I could see Will. He stood off in the illuminated distance and turned to me and smiled. I had never seen such happiness in his eyes. They were alive with elation as if lit from within.
“I see him!” I gasped, my sobs turning into those of joy.
As I watched, Will bent down and grabbed hold of a small child who walked beside him through the warm light. He lifted him high and then hugged the boy to him. The boy laughed and smiled and hugged his father around the neck. Will tuned to me once more and winked, and then with one last reassuring nod, he disappeared into the expanse of incandescent ivory.
“He’s not the only one who wants you to know that they’re okay,” Donovan whispered again in my ear.
My heart stopped as another figure came into view. She walked towards me smiling, her golden hair shimmered in the dancing light.
“Mom?” I cried out.
My mother waved to me from where she stood in the distance. Her warm smile filled my heart and she held a hand to hers.
“Mom! I love you so much . . .” I cried out and laughed with unrestrained joy and tears.
While I watched with my mind, my mother waved to me again and then grasped the hand of a second figure who joined her. Gary tuned to me and smiled and offered me a grateful bow. Together he and my mom walked off into the warmth.
“Mom! Don’t go! I miss you so much!” I cried.
I felt Donovan’s arms tighten around me.
“She will be right here waiting for you. It will be as if you were never apart. She’ll be waiting for you Alexandra, we all will be.” His voice broke with those last words and I opened my eyes and stared into his face. Something was wrong.