by Cari Hislop
The door was opened by a chambermaid holding a wet cloth in her hand. Eve could see by her wet knees she’d been cleaning the carpet. “Beg pardon ma Lady…”
Eve tried to pretend she wasn’t deeply embarrassed. “His Lordship…?”
“I believe he’s in the dining room my Lady…shall I fetch His Lordship?”
“No…thank you…” Eve clutched the shawl tighter around her shoulders and turned back towards her room, but her feet carried her past her door and down the stairs. Lost in thoughts of Adam she didn’t see the quiet servants at their morning chores stop and stare in shock as she walked by. Pausing outside the dining room, she slowly peeked around the open door. He was reading a broadsheet; the large newspaper shielding him from curious eyes. He appeared to be little more than two well shaped legs sprawled under the table. She pulled back as her heart started dancing and singing for joy at his nearness. She tried to catch her breath, but the singing only got louder, ‘He’s so lovely and his mine…mine…mine… He’ll smile and kiss me and be kind…kind…kind…’ Eve scowled at her chest and tried to fortify her quaking nerves. The fact he was eating in the dining room had to mean he was waiting for her to wake up so he could demand his conjugal rights. Her knees trembled as her heart was momentarily silenced with awestruck longing; he’d hold her in his arms and kiss away her fears.
She peeked around the door again and stared at the shock of black hair now sprouting from the top of the newspaper. As she watched his relaxed legs were brought sharply to a square and then the right leg hooked over the left. It brought to mind a snail recoiling into its shell for protection. Compressing nervous giggles she took a deep breath and stepped into the dining room blind to the footman standing at attention a few steps behind her husband. Shivering, she clutched his shawl as a security and bravely marched through cold sunlight. Stopping next to the broadsheet she stared transfixed by elegant fingers clutching the paper; those magical fingers could make her feel…
“Is there something you require my Lady?” The cold husky whisper floated over the paper barricade slighting her eager heart. Eve grimaced as the previously exhilarated creature in her chest slumped into stunned silence. He didn’t even try to look at her. It wasn’t the greeting she’d expected.
“I didn’t…” She sniffed back unexpected tears. “I didn’t find a love letter on my bed this morning.”
“Good! If my footmen wrote you love letters I’d have to sack them. It’s so hard to find a well trained footman these days isn’t it Davis?”
“As you say my Lord.”
Tears gushed from her eyes spattering her shawl with prisms of light. “I meant a letter from you!”
“Perhaps tomorrow I’ll wake up feeling suitably gormless. In which case I shall spew my heart onto paper and leave it stabbed to your pillow.” Eve flinched as her heart slumped to the floor of its cage causing shock waves that erupted into sobs. Covering her face with the shawl, her desire to run from the room was impeded by an inability to move. “I’d give you my handkerchief, but I’d have to put down my paper. I think it best I remain an invisible husband, don’t you?”
A protective layer of anger swept through Eve’s body as she raised her arm and smashed the paper screen in two. “No I don’t!”
Both the bleary green eye and dead white eye were blood shot and framed by red rims. “Another hock and soda Davis.”
“Yes my Lord.” Eve stared into the green eye until it looked away to accept the requested glass.
“Kindly whisper Madam, my head is being hammered from the inside.”
His unforgiving tone was almost as hurtful as his dismissive glance. “Good!” The word thundered off the ornate ceiling. “Perhaps next time I upset you, you won’t try to drown yourself with wine. Perhaps you’ll storm about the garden cursing women or throw things at me like a sensible man.”
“I would have thought you’d welcome my demise; you’d certainly never have to look at me again.” Her demon was visibly trembling as the single pain filled eye looked away. “You’d be free to win boring Herbert’s heart. Wouldn’t that be a relief?”
“I have no desire to marry Herbert or any other bore…”
The bright green eye swivelled back to her face in disbelief. “You’re deluding yourself Madam. You find me repulsive; do you expect me to believe you wish to remain shackled to a monster? I was distressed…you couldn’t bear to touch me.”
“Davis; did I or did I not help put my drunk husband to bed yesterday?”
“Yes in deed my Lady.”
“Did I shrink from touching him?”
“No my Lady.”
“Did I at any time try to smother him, abuse him or hasten his death?”
“I don’t believe so my Lady.”
The green eye narrowed in disbelief, “I don’t remember you assisting me to bed.”
“I even buttoned the trouser flap you left hanging open. You looked like one of those wretched creatures in the gutter lolling about too drunk to notice they’re indecent.” A red tide rushed up his neck and over his pale cheeks as green eye fixed on the table in humiliation. “Don’t you remember anything from yesterday?”
The green eye swivelled back to her face. “I remember drinking to forget the look on your face after you rudely burst into my room and discovered that I’m hideous.” The words were sharp and bitter, like rhubarb crumble without the sugar.
“Of course I was horrified. One minute I thought you were a thieving footman and the next I find the footman is my demon-Lord in the flesh. What did you expect me to feel, overjoyed? I was frightened; my husband was a living shadow, a cloaked demon.”
He leaned towards her in disbelief. “Well I’m the shadow who rescued you from that snake. I’m the man who held you the other night. I’m the man you’ve been kissing.”
Eve could hear he was upset so she softened her words as she tried to explain, “I know, but you’re a stranger; I’ve been kissing a demon…”
“So now you can see I’m repulsive, I’m a stranger? It must make you feel sick, knowing I touched you.”
Eve took a deep breath and reminded herself that the sneering man was reacting like a heartless cad because he felt rejected. She kept her voice soft as she tried again to explain. “My Lord, you’re flesh and blood…”
“Yes…hideous flesh and blood!”
“Please don’t sneer at me. I’m trying to explain; I’ve been kissing a faceless demon.”
“It must disturb you to discover your dream lover was really a nightmare.”
Eve lost her temper and snapped back, “He was a dream; he was good and kind.
If anything disturbs me it’s that you’re acting like a sneering swine possessed by a devil.”
He jerked to his feet and glowered down at her, causing Eve’s heart to faint and her knees to tremble. “I am not sneering at you!”
“Yes you are.”
“No I’m not!”
“You are.”
“I’m not; I’m upset at being rejected.”
“I didn’t reject you. I merely discovered you were hideous. You’re the one who rejected my apology. You’ve rejecting me!”
His angry expression was overtaken with confusion. “What apology?”
“I told you I was disappointed that I didn’t receive a love letter this morning.”
Her husband’s brow crinkled in pain. “That wasn’t an apology. It was a statement I assumed meant you were hoping for another bejewelled broach to add to your growing collection.”
“It was an admission that I was sorry I hurt your feelings.”
Adam rubbed his eyes with one hand. “You merely stated that you thought you’d receive another love letter. That has nothing to do with an apology.”
“Of course it does, why would I expect you to write me a love letter if you were still upset with me? And how would you not be upset with me if I hadn’t apologised? Clearly my stated desire was an apology.”
“Your female logic is making my
head worse.”
Eve’s limp heart demanded she offer another olive branch. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. Can’t we forget yesterday and start over? I don’t want you to be upset with me.”
“What good is an apology? You’ll still think me hideous.”
Feeling slapped, Eve blinked in pain. “So you’re hideous, you told me that yourself.”
“But I don’t want my wife to think I’m hideous!”
Eve rolled her eyes in irritation and ignored her wailing heart. “Your male logic is as sensible as a six legged horse.”
“It makes perfect sense. I wanted you to fall in love with me before you saw my ugly face so you wouldn’t care…so you’d love all of me, so you’d think I was beautiful.”
“Well then you should have put on a stupid eye patch and courted me in person. All you had to do was be yourself and Cupid’s arrow would have knocked me off my feet. Did you court me? No, you acted like a lunatic and bought me by post like an ordered hat. I’m sorry my reaction hurt your feelings, but it’s your own fault. If I’d first seen you in an eye patch I’d probably never have noticed how hideous you are without one. I’d probably think you the most beautiful pirate-Lord ever born, but no you don’t like musical pirates so now I think you’re hideous and it’s your own fault.”
Lord Latham’s embarrassed flush had receded leaving his face deathly pale. “Do you wish to add any more insults to your list Madam or don’t you think the stupid creature in my chest has been wounded enough?”
Eve’s anger evaporated as she remembered he loved her. “I’m sorry the truth hurts your feelings, but it’s still the truth.” Eve stared over the edge of her shawl into the hypnotic green eye until it left her face and travelled slowly down her person and then slowly back up to her face.
“Are you aware Madam that your white nightdress is transparent in sunlight?” It was Eve’s turn to blush with horror as she covered her face with the shawl unintentionally exposing more flesh. “You’re practically naked. I suggest you dress, preferably in something more substantial than an apron of fig leaves or that rag you wore yesterday. As you’ve chosen to remain my wife, I must warn you that I won’t share your charms with my servants or my neighbours.”
Eve blinked in shock as insolent whisper snapped her heart like a whip. “All my dresses are cut that low, I protested, but Mother insisted. She thought you’d like it.”
“Your mother’s a fool.”
Eve opened her throat and screamed back, “Yes, only a fool would sell her daughter for ten thousand pounds to have a Lord in the family. I didn’t even know the name of my new owner until I reached the altar; do you think I was pleased to be sold off like a mindless cow to a faceless man? I was terrified! I thought only a lunatic would buy a wife unseen…but then you spoke and I knew I’d be safe. Do you blame me for not wanting to go back? Do you blame me for being relieved that you’re not the Earl of Mulgrave?”
Her husband flushed as he glanced towards the servants. “The dining room is no place for hysterics. If I’ve upset you I recommend you retire to the library and write your grievances on a piece of paper. I shall give your concerns my full attention when my head stops aching. In the mean time abusing me will not make me happy.”
“It’s not my place to make you happy. I’m your Countess, not your court jester.”
“Then pray take note Madam; a lady doesn’t scream at her Lord in the dining room, nor does she wander about the house clad in woven spider silk. A lady may become upset, but she doesn’t show it before the servants.”
“Thank you for that lesson in courtly manners my Lord. I shall certainly remember to conduct myself with due consideration to my new found station. Heaven knows I wouldn’t want to embarrass my new master. He might forget that he said he wouldn’t ever hurt me.” The words were screamed in fury, leaving no doubt to her true feelings. Taking a deep breath she sniffed back her tears and carried on in a more normal tone. “Yes, I’m angry. It’s a normal state of being for a woman whose heartfelt apology is snubbed by a haughty vain intemperate husband who thought he’d bought a submissive simpering Miss. Well, I’m not submissive which is why my parents refused to tell me who my new husband would be. They knew I’d hunt you down and scratch out your remaining eye for trying to buy me…”
“Eve…”
“Adam, if you don’t care about my feelings then I don’t see why I should care about yours. I thought you were good and kind. I must be stupid!” Eve turned and ran back to her room where she crawled back into bed and sobbed into her pillow until there was nothing left to cry. Exhausted, she slumped back into a world of nightmares, but there was no silencing her injured heart. It was determined to love the unlovable. Even in her dreamless sleep it called for its master in a faint hopeless whisper, ‘Adam…Adam…Adam…’
Chapter 23
“Another hock and soda.” Collapsing into his chair, Adam rubbed his aching temples and wondered how love could make him feel so euphoric one day and so damnably awful the next. He accepted the full glass from his footman and then eyed the man with irritation as Davis remained at his side. “Is there something you’d like to add to my wife’s diatribe? Shall you join her in reviling my face and questioning my vanity or shall you second my opinion that I’m a heartless bastard? She hates me…I want to die…”
“Forgive my impertinence my Lord, but I believe Lady Latham is in love with you.”
Adam’s head snapped back as the words thundered through his brain and rattled the cage around his heart. “How the devil do you know what my wife feels?”
“Your good Lady appears to feel comfortable in expressing her feelings for you in front of other people. Attending you yesterday afternoon, we all saw the way she held you. It was most peculiar.”
“Peculiar? When did she hold me?” Adam’s heart pressed against its cage in rapture. “What are you talking about?”
“On being informed of your drunken state, Lady Latham insisted on helping you. After we removed your coat she ordered us to settle you properly on the bed. You stank strongly of wine and bodily fluids my Lord. You had sick on your waste coat; only a woman who loved you would have touched you, let alone held you for hours in an intimate embrace.”
“What? Are you saying she held me while I slept?”
“Indeed my Lord.”
“Hours?”
“Yes my Lord.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?”
“I thought you knew.”
“I’m hung over, how the hell would I know?”
“You remembered why you became upset; I assumed you knew what followed.”
“Is there anything else of import I should know?”
“You looked supremely content lying on her bosoms as she stroked your hair. I believe you thought you’d died and gone to heaven my Lord.”
“Hell’s teeth…what have I done?”
“You refused her apology and tried to make her feel guilty for thinking you hideous.”
“Thank you Davis, I didn’t need a synopsis.”
“No my Lord.”
Adam stared down the long table. His Eve might have been sitting at the other end smiling at him if he’d swallowed his pride. His longing to be thought beautiful by his wife was foolish and unrealistic. He couldn’t stand to look at himself in the mirror, why did he expect his wife to adore his mutilated face? In his mind he could see her tearing through his paper barricade; his eye flitting between her gossamer nightdress and her angry expression. His heart had screamed for him to pick her up and carry her back to bed, but he’d ignored it because he was hurt and angry. Her apology hadn’t made any difference because what he wanted was to hear her say she thought him the most beautiful man in the world. The self knowledge made him cringe; when had he become a vain pompous fool? For nothing more than a silly wish to be admired he’d ruined his life. She’d looked like one of those intaglio figures in German porcelain that appeared when lit up from behind. Adam sank forward and covered
his face with his hands as he groaned in horror. “She hates me. I hate myself!”