by Maria Dean
"Or you could've decided to run a pet shelter that may or may not be going south," Irene grumbled. She had brought Astrid lunch as a thank you for bringing Chewie to them. Chewie was what she'd named the Rottweiler Hope left behind. It was appropriate on several levels. When he barked, he made a sound akin to Chewbacca's Wookie call. The other reason was once he got to the shelter, he nervously chewed through two pairs of Irene's shoes. "I'm barely getting by on these mystery checks as it is."
"You'll be fine," Astrid reassured them. "You just need business to pick up again. What about hosting some sort of public event? Like, take some dogs out to the park to meet people. Or, I don't know, your cousins all run weird and wealthy businesses. They should be able to help you out."
Irene chuckled. "I suppose I could get them to participate. Christian would love it."
Astrid nodded in agreement, pointing her fork at them. "That's a great idea," she said, jabbing the fork to punctuate her point. "His business specializes in working with kids in poverty, right? That could be a great bonding program. Getting teens pets and helping them learn how to take care of them. Instill responsibility and make sure the dogs have good homes."
"Speaking of Christian," Irene said, poking around their Mu-Shu pork, "have you put any thought into which one of my cousins you're going to date?"
Astrid suddenly became very interested in her fried rice. "Can we go one day without discussing the Russo brothers situation?"
"No! I need to know now if you still have love left for Lorenzo. Giovanni can't just sweep you off your feet with an Armani dress shirt while he's gone." She lowered her voice so Daniella from HR couldn't hear the conversation. "And what's this I hear about you and Christian, you know," they wiggled their eyebrows, "were involved."
Astrid exhaled so hard that if she were a Dragon shifter, she would've burnt the table in between them. "I know you guys are family, but do you really have to share everything?"
Irene's shrill giggle echoed through the kitchen. "Oh, we don't share all of it! That's just Christian being excited about, uh, as he said it, 'making sweet love to a beautiful woman'." Irene shoveled another forkful of pork into their mouth. "Lorenzo thought it was out of proportion, and I think he's a little pissed his big brother beat him to it."
Astrid sunk back in her chair. "At this rate, I'm just going to get back on dating apps." She looked through a curtain of hair at Irene's wide smirk. "I guess I can't just choose all of them, can I? I believe in polyamory."
Irene paused, looking down at their takeout. "I don't think the boys would approve, but I will definitely catalog that one for later." Astrid rolled her eyes but leaned forward again. At least Irene was helping break the tension. "At the end of the day, it's about how you feel and who you feel the most comfortable with. Chemistry is great, but it's comfort. I know sometimes Lorenzo can be abrasive. Christian is too naïve. And Giovanni is a little demanding."
"At least they're not their sister," Astrid pointed out. "Matilde's hot and also threatened to kill me several times."
"She does that sometimes," Irene agreed.
When they finished their meal, Astrid promised she'd visit the shelter again to see Irene and the dogs. Irene admitted Moon Moon missed Astrid and was very excited when she was there the day before. "Look into your apartment's pet regulations," they begged. "I've never seen that dog so happy in my life."
It wasn't a bad idea. Astrid was tired of being alone. She didn't have a concrete relationship yet, either. Getting a pet to snuggle with at night could ease some of the loneliness that came with living by herself.
Dogs, however, would have to wait. As Astrid hopped off the bus in front of her building that night, a sleek black car rolled up beside her. She should've recognized it as the car that drove her to work yesterday but she was too wrapped up in the idea of getting a dog to notice.
"Astrid," Giovanni called through the passenger side window. "Sorry to startle you, dear, but I had some good news that couldn't wait." For once, his grin was genuine, not the shark like smirk he often wore that both intimidated her and turned her on. "We have the financial backing to do this on our own. It thrills Marlin to pieces. All we need is to get the evidence from you. Come in, please." He waved her inside.
Astrid collapsed when she hit the leather car seat. "Sorry, long day," Astrid explained when he stopped the car to look her over with worry. "I've had so little to do at work recently I forgot how insane paperwork could be."
With a nod, he pulled back onto the road. "I don't want to be wearing you thin, Astrid. You're the driving force of passion behind this case. If you're not feeling your best, it will not be worth it." Giovanni smoothed his hair over as he hung a left turn. "I'd like to take you out tonight, on your terms. Anywhere you want to go to eat."
Astrid thought about it as she kicked off her discount heels. "There's a taco place in South Minneapolis that serves tacos for like, three dollars each. Sol Taqueria."
"Tacos it is," he chuckled.
I could listen to that laugh forever, Astrid thought. The Russos all had a warm, brassy chuckle. It was music to her ears, reminding her how weak she could be when it came to hot men. Laughter was her favorite trait in a partner. Astrid had preferences to sounds she preferred from different people, and the damn, smooth-as-hell chuckle from masculine presenting person made knees shake.
"You're not drifting from me, are you?" Giovanni cut her from her daydreams. "I need directions to this place you're talking about." He tapped a white cord connected to his car's dashboard. "Hook up your GPS to the car if you'd like."
"Oh," she said, sitting up in her seat, "right." Punching in the location, she plugged her phone into the system. Astrid examined him for a moment, before turning on the car's audio. The small sports car began to reverberate with salsa music.
"Is this Celia Cruz?" Astrid tried not to sputter. Her boarding school was many things. Cultured being one of them. She'd recognize La Vida es Carnival anywhere.
"Indeed, it is," Giovanni said, averting his eye contact. There was no praising of Astrid's knowledge. Instead, his cheeks were tinted pink. For a few minutes he tried to not tap his fingers against the steering wheel, feigning his cool composure.
Is he... embarrassed? It made sense, the more Astrid thought about it. Giovanni was supposed to be the tough one, the malicious lawyer with a dark streak. The ice cold to Christian's eternal heat, and the extreme version of what Lorenzo's cynicism could've been. And now he was in his expensive car, trying not to tap to the rhythm of salsa music.
"You don't need to be shy about liking this," Astrid pointed out. "It's good music."
"Lorenzo thinks I listen to nothing but Chopin on repeat," Giovanni said. "Christian swears I listen to radio static."
Astrid beat down the smile that was tugging at the corners of her lips. "I just thought you wouldn't sing along."
The car rolled to a stop at a red light. Giovanni looked down at her, the tint in his cheeks spreading into a deep red. "You thought about whether or not I sang along in the car?" He clarified.
"Well, yeah. I like to pick out the differences between you and your brothers. Not the big ones, like if you're the good twin or the bad one. The little things, like how Lorenzo's too lazy to get his haircut but wants to seem presentable like you and Christian. He pulls his hair up into a bun to fake it."
Giovanni hit the gas, pulling forward down the street. "Interesting assessment," he noted. "You're more perceptive than we give you credit for."
Astrid didn't tell him she only noticed because she fantasized about running her fingers through his hair. It was like the reason she knew Christian wore a little concealer to cover up the family birthmark he and Giovanni shared. She'd become very familiar with the finer details of his face when they'd been together.
"What about me?" It felt like a trick question. Giovanni never lied to her, but he was selective about what she learned. He enjoyed having a full hand while everyone else was still building theirs.
Lu
ckily, Astrid had a little more than just sexual fantasies to build off with him. "I happen to know that for all the clients that pay you extra to get them off clean, you require them to put in a payment toward the nearest youth shelter." A fact she'd pulled from an email sent to her by Marlin. It was coded and vague, but she pulled out enough information to be able to search the shelter's financial records for the donations. "You also are the person putting money into Irene's animal shelter."
"And I'm supporting Matilde's fashion line," he noted. "Good work otherwise. You'll never cease to impress me, Astrid."
They arrived across the street from the restaurant, in time for Astrid's stomach to grumble. When Giovanni raised his eyebrows at her, amused, she flushed and turned away. "I'm hungry, dickwad," Astrid muttered. "Give me a break."
"Dickwad?" He repeated as they crossed the street. "You're still filled with surprises. I don't think you could disappoint me if you tried."
Astrid kept her gaze locked on the taqueria. "I wouldn't say that," she said. A comment intended for herself that slipped out before she could catch it. They hit the sidewalk, and he stopped her, gently placing his arm on the small of her back so she was facing him again. "What?"
"You're doubting yourself," he replied in confusion. "Why? You have no reason to." Astrid tried to look away, but Giovanni grabbed her chin and tilted it back up, forcing her to look at him. "Really, Astrid. Everyone has their flaws, but that shouldn't mean you have to doubt yourself."
"This isn't a great place for this," she mumbled, stepping to the side as a couple passed them. "Can we get food first?" She didn't wait for his reply.
"Astrid, wait."
She beat him to the restaurant and refused to answer his question. Not that he'd upset her. It was Astrid didn't think she had a good response. She didn't know why she doubted herself, it just felt natural. That nagging doubt in who she was bubbled up whenever something turned sour. It was there when Nova left, or when she tried to keep Lorenzo in the cities and he ran off, anyway. In the small moments, when she knew Christian's head belonged in the clouds while she was weighted to the ground.
When Giovanni told her she was a wonder, and all she could feel like was a natural disaster waiting to happen.
I don't know why I'm crying in the taqueria right now. She grabbed a napkin before Giovanni could notice.
"I just don't think I'm great as y'all think I am," Astrid finally said after ordering. She bit her tongue, but Giovanni gestured for her to continue. "It's just... ever since you and your brothers met me, it's been 'Alice this' and 'Amazing that'. You're learning, sure, but every now and then y'all still treat me like a shiny new thing."
The floodgates of Astrid's tears had been opened. The glass roof was about to shatter.
"I'm touted around as an Alice, the one who will help you against the alchemists. I show you how I live and it's a cultural experience. I have a goddamn panic attack and it's like I'm this wounded heroine, suffering for years but still pulling myself out of the mud! I don't get a second to be wrong, because in your eyes everything I do is right! Everything I do is for you!" Her heart screamed at her to stop. Her brain begged her to stay quiet. But her tongue kept going. "How is it none of you have ever considered I could fuck everything up and ruin you?"
People are staring, Astrid. They're staring and now everyone has heard you.
"Astrid," Giovanni tried to get her attention. After her confession, her name sounded strange on his tongue. Not bitter, but foreign.
"I need to go," she whimpered. "I need to go home." Astrid stumbled out of her chair and hurtled backward. And then, as if the world folded up around her, she began to fall.
CHAPTER 4
That... is one ugly carpet.
Astrid willed both of her eyes to open, staring at the nasty puce carpet in her face. It smelled like coffee and wine, with a hint of herbs for flavor. There was a perfume in the air, too, which Astrid recognized as a homemade mixture of lavender and rose petals.
There was only one person who wore that perfume.
A door, perhaps the pantry door she used to hide behind when she was young, creaked open. A metal tray hit a familiar speckled tile as a wise old voice asked, "Astrid? Baby? Is that you?"
Astrid turned and found the words tangled up in her throat.
She'd pulled herself home.
Astrid choked out a sob, meeting Nova halfway across the living room and pulling her up into a tight hug. If she never let go, if they froze there for the rest of their lives with nothing but each other, Astrid would die happy.
"I'm so sorry, Nova." Astrid pulled the words up out of her throat. All she could do after was cry and inhale Nova's perfume. Look at the hideous, flowery wallpaper Nova had put up when Astrid was in fourth grade. Memorize every detail of the house since she couldn't speak anymore.
"Oh, baby, I'm sorry too. It's all my fault. I shouldn't have kept this from you, any of it." Nova pulled back, holding Astrid's face in her hands. "Calypso shouldn't have either. We were trying to look out for you, baby, but now I know we did it wrong. Can you ever forgive me?"
"I will," Astrid replied. "Can you forgive me too?"
Her aunt pulled her back into a hug, nodding. "I never should've left you," Nova confessed. "I knew better. And now I hear your father is back in town, it's not safe for you there. I should've taken you with me."
Astrid sniffled, rubbing her nose with her dirtied dress shirt. "He called me and asked to see me. He made it seem like he was back in Memphis, but now I'm not so sure. Is he really in Minneapolis?"
"He's up there somewhere," Nova said. She guided Astrid over to a couch Astrid didn't recognize. "I got it on sale," Nova said when Astrid appraised the couch curiously. "I thought it was fun." She patted the spot next to her, waiting for her niece to sit down. "I heard through the monster hunter grapevine your father was nearby. I don't personally fight, dear, but I have my resources." Nova glanced over at the bookshelf where a fat, weathered photo album sat at the top.
Astrid rose to get it. Returning, she blew away the dust on the cover and opened to the first page. The photos stuck together, forcing Astrid to pull them apart slowly as to not ruin the images. "Are these your friends?" She asked, holding a group photo close to her face.
"Mhmm. That fellow next to me is my source in the Cities. Handsome man, but a vicious dragon slayer," Nova explained. "I met him ages ago through your mother, but we reconnected the last time I visited you." They both winced, trying to forget the vicious memory.
Astrid looked closer. "Hold on. Is his name Zion?" Nova nodded. "I met him at the library. There's a monster hunter I've been working with. Don't get mom's hopes up there, I'm working with him to fight the alchemists. Zion came in looking for one of his slayers." Freezing, Astrid recalled Zion's picture. "One of them disappeared after going to my apartment, along with a monster hunter," she repeated. "Nova, I think my dad was there."
"You think he killed those boys?"
"He must've done something," she replied. "I'm sorry, I know I just got here, but I need to get back. I need to get there and warn my friends he could be coming." Astrid got up, nearly knocking the photo album to the floor.
Nova shook her head. "Honey, you're forgetting you just portalled to North Carolina. How did that even happen?"
She's got you there. "I'm not sure, to be honest. It happened before, when an alchemist tried to catch me snooping around another one's house. I was so scared he would find me and kill me I just crumpled up into a ball. Then I was falling."
"And now?"
"Now, I..." Astrid thought of Giovanni, who she had stood up in the restaurant. "I think I just messed up."
Her aunt stood up, meeting her with a kind shoulder squeeze. "We all mess up, baby. Doesn't mean we can't get back on our feet. Now tell me, how does it feel when you're travelling?"
"It's like falling through space," she decided, "cold and filled with pressure. I feel so small."
"I've never heard of an Alice being able to
do that." Nova pondered it, entering her kitchen while she tapped her thighs. "It's fascinating. Your body is accustomed to traveling through the gaps between universes, but not in tearing holes through our own space. Once we get you home, you should try to put a hold on this form of travel until we understand it more. I don't want to strain your body." She returned with a cup of tea. "You know, I had an inkling I would need this."
"This isn't going to mess with my head, is it?" Astrid took it all the same, the warmth of the cup overriding her wariness.
"Not your head. Your soul," Nova corrected. "It will realign you to your true self, giving you the ability to tap into your powers at the fullest. But this is incredibly dangerous, Astrid. We can't do this often. If you're not careful, you could get stuck in the void. No one else could get you out, not even your mom."
She nodded in understanding, staring into the honey brown liquid. "I need to get back there. I'll do what it takes."
As Astrid tipped the tea back, Nova sighed. "I love you, Astrid. I'll come up as soon as I can."
"I love you too." The tea curled around her tongue, warming her body from the inside out. Astrid felt her heart glow, if glowing was the right word. Her head cleared, leaving the lingering image of Giovanni in her mind. Then, he faded, leaving nothing behind but the smile of a woman Astrid hadn't seen in years.
Pull home, Calypso said.
Astrid let her knees give out. She controlled the fall, closing her eyes and thinking of her apartment back in Minneapolis. Astrid felt the blackness surround her, tendrils of space licking her thighs as she hurtled back into the void. The cold was unwelcome. Astrid pushed past it, exuding heat as she fell.
When her eyes snapped open, she'd hit the quilt Sally and Winston made her for her twenty-sixth birthday.
"God," Astrid breathed, hands feeling for her pillows. Her head was pounding, and she felt cramps in both of her legs. But damn, it was worth it.
Her phone began to ring with Sally's personalized ringtone. "Astrid?" Sally squeaked into the receiver. "I have some news. I don't know if it's good or bad, though."