by D T Dyllin
Kohl moved so fast I could barely track him, and I when my eyes found him again, he was kneeling beside me, hand outstretched. “You have no reason to fear me, my little Seer.” He touched the side of my face briefly, leaving heat where his fingers had skimmed my jaw line. “I will not force you to do anything you do not truly desire to do. I am well aware that your heart belongs to another. I am simply letting you know your options for when you realize he is not the one for you.”
“What about the kiss last night?” I whispered, hating how my body responded to his.
“I regret having taken what should only be given freely, and for that, I apologize. I simply needed to make a point, to show you that your life will go on without him.” He touched my face again before drawing back and standing once more. “I want you to be able to trust me.” His face became solemn and oh so sincere; it made me want to give my trust to him—this strange man that wasn’t even human.
Staring at him, my gut clenched, and I knew that I could trust him, even if he did still scare me a little. “I don’t know why . . . but I do . . . trust you, that is.” I gave him a tentative smile.
His answering smile was instant and bright, making him look so much more handsome and a lot less creepy. “Now go ready yourself for school, my little Seer. I will be watching.” And just like that, he disappeared again.
I heaved a huge sigh, relief that I knew would be shortlived washing over me. It looked like Khol wasn’t going to let me sink any farther into my depths of despair over Bryn. I glanced over at my open window, which Khol must have opened, and saw a little grey squirrel perched on a branch in the big oak tree that sat across from it. It eyed me curiously with its beady little eyes. And to think I used to like squirrels. “Get out of here!” I yelled as I stalked towards my window. “Go tell Jenna to mind her own business and to get the hell out of mine!” I pulled the shades shut again, muting the light from the bright morning. I shook my head in disbelief. What had my world come to that I was hiding from squirrels now?
Thirty minutes later I was standing outside my kitchen, listening to my mom scurrying around making breakfast, and the occasional rustle of the paper let me know my dad was also in there. I held so much resentment towards them, and I didn’t know if it would ever go away. I knew on some level they were exactly the same people I’d always known, the same people who had raised me so lovingly, but they were also the people who were responsible for ripping Bryn from my life. There are so many different kinds of love in this world, and I guess when push comes to shove, the romantic soul mate kind of love trumps everything else.
I steeled my nerves and swept into the kitchen with a solemn face. All movement stopped after both of my parents turned to stare at me. I could sense my mom’s relief at seeing me out of bed and somewhat normal, but I wasn’t going to make it that easy for them. I marched over to the pantry, grabbed a couple breakfast cookies and a bottle of water, stuffed them into my shoulder bag, and careful not to acknowledge their presence, marched out the back door without so much as a word. Things would never be the same between us, I knew that, and in some weird way, I suppose I was mourning the loss of my parents as well as Bryn. Because when all was said and done, I had made my choice, the only choice I could make, and when Bryn came for me in a year, I would leave with him no matter what.
As I rounded the corner, I saw Jenna, with rainbow-colored hair now, waiting expectantly for me. No doubt her squirrel spy had filled her in. She wore a scowl on her face that deepened when she met my eyes. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on or not?”
“What? Your little spies didn’t garner enough information for you?” I kept walking and didn’t wait for her. She scurried to catch up to me with her much shorter legs. “Which by the way,” I said without looking at her, “it’s beyond creepy to have sent a squirrel to spy on me. No wonder everybody thinks Speakers are so weird.” It was a low blow, and I knew it. Not many of our kind gave Jenna the time of day, unless they were a guy interested in getting into her pants, and even then, that was short lived. Speakers had a reputation on the whole as being weird, and most of our kind steered clear. I, on the other hand, had instantly liked Jenna, mostly because of her quirkiness. I had always admired her for being true to herself and not giving a damn what other people thought—unless those other people happened to be me, as was the case now.
“That was just mean,” she hissed. “I’m just going to pretend you didn’t say that, for the sake of our friendship.”
“Just butt out of my business,” I hissed back. “And you better keep your little spies away from me before I invest in a BB gun or something.”
“You wouldn’t.” She sounded completely appalled. “You aren’t that heartless to shoot a poor, defenseless little animal.”
I stopped abruptly and glared down at her horrified face. “Try me.” I would never shoot a cute little squirrel no matter how annoying it was, but I was hoping Jenna couldn’t see past my bluff.
She crossed her arms over her chest and glared back at me. I took that as a sign she wasn’t buying my bluff. Damn Speakers. “If you want me to butt out of your business, then I guess I can stop defending you to everyone at school, and the next time I hear another ugly rumor, I won’t try to set it straight.”
The blood completely drained from my face. “What are you talking about? What kind of rumors?”
Jenna’s face softened to something resembling pity. “About you and Bryn, and how he got you pregnant . . . stuff like that.”
“Oh God. How does anybody even know anything about me and Bryn?” Maybe school wouldn’t be on my agenda for the day. I didn’t know if I could face everyone if that was the kind of thing being said.
“Well,” Jenna said, “I’m not the only Speaker around here that has little spies. Let’s just say that a certain Miss Tina Sims is enjoying some newfound popularity over the info she’s been feeding to the masses, even if most of it is bullshit.”
Great. Now when I had a squirrel chilling outside my window, I had to wonder who it was spying for. At least Jenna was just spying for herself; other Speakers obviously had other agendas beyond curiosity. “Why? Why are people believing her?” I squeaked.
“Oh, P.J., you know why. People love to hear about scandal, especially when it’s about someone like you, who everyone thought was a goody-goody virgin. And you can’t even deny that something happened, since Bryn has been shipped off, and you went M.I.A. at the same time.”
“Oh.” Jenna was right. The Bryn and P.J. rumors were probably the biggest scandal that had hit in a long time. I’d probably never live it down. It was official; my social life was ruined.
We walked the rest of the way to school in silence. Only when the front doors to my new own personal hell loomed in front of us did Jenna speak. “So are you going to tell me who that guy was last night?” I knew she wouldn’t be able to keep a lid on it for very long.
“Fine.” I let out an exasperated breath. “His name is—” And Khol’s name seemed to stick in my throat. I opened and closed my mouth like a fish trying to say his name, but nothing came out. I tried to start over again. “His name is—” And again I couldn’t utter even a syllable of his name. That’s when I remembered something Khol had said to me the first time I’d seen him. He said he’d bound me from speaking of him to anyone. Was that what was going on? So I tried another approach. “He first came to me in the woods. He’s—” Aaaah! I couldn’t even describe to her what he looked like. “Look, Jenna, I wish I could, if only to get you off my back, but I literally can’t. I’m bound so that I’m not able to. In fact, I’m surprised I can even say that much. I can’t even say his name or describe him to you—the words seem to just stick in my throat.”
She eyed me with curiosity. “I can tell that you’re not lying, but I’ve never heard of such a thing. Who bound you?”
“He did.”
“No, of course not,” I snapped. “I love Bryn. End of story.”
“Then why were you kissing this other guy?” Jenna raised her eyebrows at me.
“I can’t tell you, but let me just say I didn’t want to be kissing him. The only guy I wanna kiss is Bryn.”
“Hmm,” Jenna grunted.
It was then, as we walked up the front stairs to the school, that people began to take notice of me, and whispers seemed to follow in my wake. I kept my eyes straight ahead and pretended I didn’t notice. I so wished Bryn was with me to hold my hand and make everything better. We pushed through the huge front doors and headed towards the senior hallway. My locker was in my sights when someone grabbed me by my wrist and pulled me to a halt. I found myself looking up into the dark eyes of Eddie Covington, a large Guardian-to-be who also attended our school. He was tall, like almost all Guardians, with a rather plain face and dark brown hair. I guess he could be considered cute, but next to Bryn, he would be lucky if anyone noticed him at all.
“Hey there, P.J.,” he said with a smirk. “I heard you have a thing for us lowly Guardians. Now that Bryn’s gone, I was hoping you might be looking to fill his spot.”
“Get your hands off me.” I shook free of his hand and rubbed my wrist while frowning at him. I didn’t know what else to say, so I simply turned to leave.
Eddie crowded the space in front of me. “Oh come on, P. J., there’s no use in pretending anymore. I have to admit you had us all fooled with your little virginal act.” His dark eyes roamed over me from head to toe, and he smiled. “Most Seers wouldn’t touch one of us with a ten foot pole, and here you’ve been, right under our noses, screwing Bryn the whole time. Us Guardians never get to really experience a Seer’s powers. No wonder he was so protective of you. Guess he didn’t want anyone getting their hands on his little prize. Although everyone should have known, with you being friends with a slut like her.” He pointedly looked in Jenna’s direction. “And who was the guy in your room this morning? Tina’s already let all of us know about him. Another Guardian maybe—older—teaching you some things, things that maybe I’d be interested in learning.” His hand snaked out and grabbed my wrist again with force. “Come on, P.J., how about showing me what you’re really all about?” His grip tightened almost painfully.
“Get your hands off me, you asshole.” I took a step back from him, but he followed. I knew we were in school, and I knew he couldn’t do anything to me here, at least not out in the open, but my mind flashed back to the night at Ryan’s party and the still un-named guy trying to force himself on me. Panic began to bubble up in me just like it had that night, especially because I knew there wouldn’t be any Bryn to come to my rescue this time.
“You heard her—get your hands off her, asshole.” Eddie was abruptly shoved away from me, and I stumbled back into the row of lockers behind me. Jenna rushed to my side. Eddie retreated fairly quickly, and my savior approached me. I took in his sandy brown hair, deep brown eyes set over a long straight nose, high cheekbones, full, firm lips, and a square, masculine jaw. “Jeremy?” I murmured as his brow furrowed with concern. What the hell is he doing here?
“You okay?”
My face heated with sudden embarrassment. Who else had seen and heard what had just gone down between Eddie and me? And the bigger question was: would it happen again? “What are you doing here? At my school?”
He flashed me a smile. “It’s my school now, too. My family and I moved here a week before our date. I started that following week. Didn’t I mention that?”
I frowned. “No, you didn’t.” That I would have most definitely remembered.
“Well, here I am. And just in time, I see.” Yeah, just in time to witness my complete and utter humiliation.
“Ahem.” Jenna cleared her throat, reminding me she was still there. “You never answered if you’re okay. Eddie is such an asshole. Just ignore him. I always do.”
I turned and met Jenna’s dark eyes, which despite her outward calm, were narrowed with tension. “Yeah, just fine.” Mostly, anyways.
“So what was that all about? A Guardian shouldn’t be treating you like that.” Jeremy clenched his fists with anger.
“Oh—you haven’t heard. There’re some rumors going around about P.J. and—” Jenna started, but I certainly wasn’t going to let her finish.
“Shut up, Jenna,” I hissed, turning to look at Jeremy, who now wore a slightly bemused expression. “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”
“I’ve already heard the rumors, P.J. As the new guy around town, everyone was more than happy to fill me in on all the latest gossip.” He took my bag from my shoulder and started walking, and since he had my stuff hostage, I had no choice but to follow. I assumed Jenna wasn’t far behind us. “So what’s the real deal? Because I’m not the type to buy into that kind of stuff.”
I met his eyes briefly before studying my shoes as we walked. “I don’t know. What’ve you heard? Although, I’m almost afraid to ask.”
“Just that you’re an easy lay, you prefer to do Guardians, you were sleeping with your no longer future Guardian amongst a host of other guys, that he was shipped away after he got you pregnant, and your parents forced you to have an abortion.” He paused briefly to inhale. “Also it’s not just our kind that’s talking. You seem to be the talk of both worlds. The Regs apparently have labeled you a slut as well, not that there are that many Regs at this school.”
I turned and glared at Jenna who was walking a few steps behind us. “You never said anything about me sleeping with a host of other guys, or the abortion, or the Regs.”
Jenna at least had the decency to look a tiny bit sheepish for once. “I didn’t wanna upset you anymore,” she mumbled.
“Because finding out this way was so much better,” I snapped.
Jeremy touched my arm, and I met his deep brown eyes that burned with curiosity. “So what started these rumors?”
I mulled over what I should say to him. He seemed like a nice enough guy on our date, and he had come to my rescue with Eddie, but how would he react once he knew the truth? Our school was very clique-ish. None of the Regs realized most of the cliques were primarily divided between my kind and their kind, because we didn’t look any different or dress any differently. We just had a tendency to gravitate towards people we could be more ourselves around without worry of exposure. I usually just hung with Bryn and Jenna, preferring to stay out of the clique game, that way I could be friends with whoever I wanted.
Unfortunately, my little group had just been majorly downsized without Bryn as a member, and it was sounding more and more like I was the hot topic of conversation within all the major cliques in my school. I could use as many allies as I could get. “Bryn was shipped away, and you know people talk. All of a sudden I’m the biggest slut this school has ever seen, apparently.” I scuffed my shoe along the ground angrily. “I’ve only been with one guy, for fuck’s sake, and I’ve only had sex once. I was a virgin until recently.” I inhaled and exhaled deeply, trying to calm myself. “It’s so not fair.”
“But it was Bryn, wasn’t it? Who took your virginity?” Jeremy asked softly.
I whipped my head up and met his gaze sharply. I’m not sure what I saw there, but suddenly I wanted to tell him the truth. “Yeah, it was.” I began studying my shoes again.
Jeremy’s hand reached out and tipped my chin back so he could look me in the eyes. He held his power in check for the moment, which I really appreciated. “It’s okay. I won’t judge. I already knew you had feelings for someone else when we had our date. I was just hoping I could compete. And you
were a virgin then, I could tell.”
“What? How?” I asked incredulously.
He smiled. “I’m a very strong Gatekeeper. Not only can I sense and manipulate energy around the gates, but I can sense and manipulate other energies.”
Oh, that was just fabulous. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Yeah, because that wouldn’t have freaked you out or anything. By the way—P.J., I—”
I interrupted him with a laugh, already knowing where he was going with his line of thought. “Yeah, you may have a point there.” I couldn’t help the smile that cracked across my face. “I’ve never heard of a Gatekeeper being able to do that before.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Most can’t. I can. No biggie.”
Obviously no longer feeling very sheepish, Jenna took that opportunity to push in between Jeremy and me. She looked up at him and batted her eyelashes. “Hi, I’m Jenna.” Her voice had gone lower and huskier, and there was no doubt what she wanted from him.
Jeremy’s lips twitched up into a wry smile. “You have all the subtlety of a bull in a china shop, don’t you?”
Jenna blushed, and I laughed, causing Jenna to shoot me a glare. “That’s our Jenna, blunt as can be.”
“Well, I can be pretty blunt myself. Sorry, Jenna, don’t waste your time on me, I’ve already got my eye on someone else.” He looked at me and smiled, and it was my turn to blush.
“Jeremy, I—well, I—”
He slid my bag back onto my shoulder and winked at me. “Don’t sweat it. I know you have feelings for Bryn, otherwise you wouldn’t have slept with him. I can tell that’s the kind of girl you are. But he’s gone, and I’m here. I have every intention of wooing you to the best of my abilities.” He crowded my space by stepping up to me, and for a second I thought he was going to try to kiss me.