by D T Dyllin
“What—what was that?” I sputtered, guilt crashing over me like a tidal wave, threatening to drown me. First Khol and now Jeremy . . . what would Bryn think?
“I’m not one hundred percent sure. I can manipulate all kinds of energies, but I’ve never been able to do that before. It was like I could feel our powers intertwining when we touched, and then . . .” His voice trailed off as he flushed, a small smile playing across his lips. “You did, didn’t you? You know?”
I blushed and averted my eyes. I supposed I might as well be honest with him because I got the sense that he already knew what he had done to me and he was just pretending that he couldn’t tell. After all, how could he not know when he had known before that I was still a virgin just by reading my energies? “Yeah,” I breathed, still not looking at him. “You?” I couldn’t help but to be curious. I wanted to know if he had been affected the same way I had been.
“Yeah . . . no. I have a little bit more control than that over myself.”
I narrowed my eyes at him angrily. “So what are you trying to say? That I have no control over myself? Do you think I’m easy or something because of what happened with Bryn?” I knew my anger was misplaced. Jeremy seemed like a genuinely nice guy, and I didn’t actually think he’d meant anything by his comment, and yet I needed to be angry with someone. I needed to yell at someone because I hated myself for betraying Bryn. “You did that on purpose, didn’t you?” I hissed.
“No, and you know I didn’t. Don’t be mad at me because you feel like you betrayed Bryn or something. Maybe it’s better you figure these things out now before it’s too late.” Was I that obvious that he knew right away why I was really angry?
“Too late for what?”
He stepped towards me, and I backed up, causing him to throw up his hands in a sign of defeat. “Before you two do something really stupid, and then you figure out down the line that he isn’t right for you.”
“And I suppose you think you’re right for me?”
His brown eyes flashed with emotion as his lips pressed into a thin line briefly before responding. “Yeah, I do.”
“And why is that? Because you just made me . . . well . . . you know?” I couldn’t bring myself to actually say it.
Jeremy grunted, his lips turning up slightly at the edges. “Partly; you can’t deny we have good chemistry, P.J.”
“I have better chemistry with Bryn. I love him. I don’t love you.” It was just like a guy to think everything was all about sex. There is more to chemistry than just sex. Okay, fine, sex plays a huge part in it, but other things go into the mix, like emotions—emotions like love.
“So, you’re not even willing to give me a chance after that? Won’t you at least go out on a second date with me? Didn’t that kiss at least warrant that much?” Jeremy’s face was pleading and not the least bit arrogant or cocky. I would have at least expected a touch of egotism after that little performance. Hell, I would be a little smug if the shoe were on the other foot, and yet his deep brown eyes only held a kind of desperation. “Please, P.J., give me a chance, a real chance. That’s all I’m asking for.”
I looked away from him, not wanting to see his sad eyes anymore. I wasn’t cruel after all. “I can’t. I’m sorry. I love Bryn.”
“If you love him so much, then you shouldn’t be worried about going out with me again. You could go out with me, give us a real shot, and if you really love him as much as you say you do, well then, I won’t be able to steal you away. You owe it to yourself to find out, don’t you think?” I didn’t say anything, not really liking where the conversation was going. “The only reason to not go out with me is because you know you don’t really love him, at least not the way you say you do. Don’t you think you owe it to him to find out if you truly love him?”
“Stop,” I said, my shoulders slumping. What if he was right? What if I was afraid to give anyone else a shot because I didn’t think I could be faithful? Would Bryn want to be with me if he doubted how much I really loved him? I knew Jeremy was trying to twist things to his advantage, trying to manipulate me into going out with him again, but even I couldn’t deny he made some very valid points. “All right,” I stated flatly. “I’ll go out with you again.” I raised my eyes to meet his merrily dancing brown gaze as a huge grin spread across his face. “But none of that again—don’t do that to me again.” I bit my lower lip and eyed him warily. This could all be a huge mistake.
Jeremy’s grin turned sly. “I can’t make that promise. I’m going to use every God given gift to try and make you mine.”
“Jeremy—” I groaned, my face turning into a scowl.
“Nope. You already agreed to go. I’ll mention it to your mom on the way out—you know, so you can’t back out of it later.” He turned and loped back towards my house.
“That’s playing dirty,” I called to him with annoyance.
He glanced over his shoulder at me. “Yep, but at least I’m in the game.”
I turned and braced myself on the tree, running my fingertips idly over the bark, freezing when the texture of the wood dipped down into small jagged indentations pressing up against my skin. When Bryn and I had been little kids, we had both carved our names into the trunk of the tree that I was currently touching. We hadn’t put our initials together inside a heart or anything like that. We hadn’t known about such things as love yet, but both our names did grace the trunk of this tree. And I had unerringly found the grooves in the trunk that spelled out Bryn’s name. I stared at it as big fat tears began to slowly slide down my cheeks. I’d just betrayed him—twice—and both times while his name hovered above me. My heart hadn’t been in the kiss with Jeremy, nor the almost kiss with Khol, but my body had been, and it had called for more, not to mention its reaction to the actual kiss I’d shared with Khol in my bedroom last night. Bryn had been gone just over a week, and I’d already been unfaithful to him three times all in all. What kind of girlfriend did that make me? Not a very good one, that much I knew.
I loved Bryn, with all of my heart. I loved him more deeply and completely than I ever could anyone else. And he made my blood boil every time he was near me . . . So why did my body respond so willingly to both Khol and Jeremy? And how could I put a stop to things when they obviously were both dead set on having me for themselves? Maybe in a year when Bryn comes for me, he won’t want me anymore. Maybe he’ll realize I’m the one that’s not good enough for him.
12
The rest of my evening after Jeremy left passed by in a fog. All I could think about was how I had betrayed Bryn with both Khol and Jeremy. And now, as I lay in my silent bedroom in the pitch black, shades drawn to protect against the prying eyes of nosey squirrels, I fought a sick feeling in my stomach that just wouldn’t go away. I didn’t deserve Bryn and his love. How could he ever forgive me? I had to tell him what had happened, of course, but what if I didn’t get the chance until a year was up? What if he came for me like planned, and I had to tell him what had transpired between me and two other guys? I could almost picture the betrayed expression on his face. Would he hate me? Would he walk away from me forever?
“I feel your tormented emotions, my little Seer. Why are you torturing yourself?” Khol’s low voice cut through the thick silence of my room.
I raised my head to see him kneeling beside my bed, his electric green eyes glowing in the dark as he studied my face. He was one of the reasons I was feeling this way, and yet I had to talk to someone. “I betrayed Bryn.” A sob erupted from my throat when I heard myself say the words aloud. “He won’t want me now, after what I’ve done. And I can’t really blame him; I’m not good enough for someone like him.”
Khol snorted. “You know nothing of men if you think what you’ve done will turn him from you. He will want you until his dying breath.”
I blinked in confusion at Khol. “Shouldn’t you tell me that he’s
not going to want me anymore, and that he’ll hate me, so you can swoop in and make your move?” Isn’t that what a typical guy would do anyways?
Khol snorted again. “I won’t resort to cheap tricks of manipulation to win your affections. You would only resent me in the end. When you finally come to me, it will be because you are truly mine, and there will be no doubts to hold you back.” He flashed me a smile in the dark. “And when you are mine, you’ll come to me alone for satisfaction, all other touches will leave you cold in comparison after I’ve branded you.”
I shuddered, goose bumps erupting all over my skin. There was something ancient and knowing in his words. His mention of branding me wasn’t just an innuendo. It meant something more, but I wasn’t exactly sure what. It was like that with Khol sometimes. He would say something that seemingly meant one thing, but I could pick up on an undercurrent of something else hidden between the lines. I’m not sure if he meant for me to feel those things, or if it was just a side effect of our link, but regardless, they were there. “I’ll always crave Bryn,” I said.
“When all others turn to dust, there will only be you and me.”
Fear raced up my spine. I wasn’t afraid of Khol, just his words for some reason. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He stared at me for another moment, his face devoid of all emotion before he replied, “We must discuss the vision you had earlier . . . when you were kissing the Gatekeeper.”
I eyed him warily, knowing he was purposely not answering me, changing the subject to something I couldn’t ignore. “Yeah, fine. What about it? I couldn’t quite make everything out. It was more of an impression than a vision.”
“To you maybe, although that could be because you were otherwise occupied.” He shot me a wry smile. “But I was able to look closer at your vision and discern what seemed to be just beyond your grasp.” I waved my hand at him to continue. “We’ve figured out what they want—these creatures.”
“And?” I squirmed impatiently.
“They want this world for themselves. They wish to rule it, and to enslave humans. They’ve done it before, to other worlds. They implant themselves amongst the residents of that world, slowly take over, and once they have complete control, they use up all the resources. Eventually there is nothing left, and they move on.”
“Holy shit!” I exclaimed. “It’s like this movie I saw where these aliens attacked, trying to kill everybody so they could use our world up. Actually, it’s kind of like a lot of movies I’ve seen.” I frowned, wondering if someone, somewhere, was trying to tell us something.
“But unlike in your fantasy movies, the mass public doesn’t know these aliens are among us. They look like regular humans to them. If you came forward, you’d probably be locked away and labeled insane,” Khol stated matter-of-factly.
And he was right. I couldn’t just point to people like Senator Bill Wexington and yell, “Alien!” People would lock me away and throw away the key. “So what do we do then?”
“We’re coming up with a plan. In the meantime, you must just stay aware.”
“Great. More of doing nothing. And who is this we you keep referring to? I’m hoping you’re not using the royal we or something, because it’s going to take more than just you and me to take care of this problem.” I noticed on several occasions Kohl had said, “We are working on it” and “We are coming up with a plan.” Just who was this we?
“More of my kind. Most of us still slumber, as I said, but you and your powers have awakened more than just me.”
My eyes widened. “Umm . . . so should I expect more pushy visitors like you to just drop by and harass me?” Oh, please, no.
“No.” Khol’s jaw hardened into stone. “They are not to make direct contact with you. If any of them approach you, and trust me, you will know, call for me immediately, do you hear me?” He reached up and grabbed my shoulders. “Others of my kind are not as in control as I am. They won’t be able to hold themselves back from you.” Anger flared in his iridescent eyes, so great that I shrank back from him. “They will try to take from you what doesn’t belong to them. They are too young and do not understand. I would kill them for it, but some of them would see it as a risk worth pursuing.”
“And what makes you different from others of your kind?” I croaked while staring at Khol’s tense face.
“I have lived many lifetimes longer than most of them, and I understand things they do not. There is no need to fear them. They listen to me. I am their leader. But there is always a chance that one of them won’t be strong enough to resist your call, and he will try to come for you.” I shivered at the thought. Kohl reached one hand up and pushed my hair out of my face. “I will protect you. Please, I did not mean to frighten you.” When I didn’t say anything, Kohl leaned in closer to me. “Do you trust me?”
I did. For some reason I did trust him—truly. “Yes. I told you before that I did, and I still do, despite everything.”
“Good.” He let go of me, his face growing pensive. “And don’t worry, we won’t sit by and observe for much longer. The time for action is growing near. Your very existence speaks of things to come. These creatures may think this world is ripe for the picking, and in many ways it is, but there are those of this world who will fight hard enough and champion the weak. The creatures will not win.”
Purpose swelled within me. I remembered thinking before that life had no meaning without love, and that was true, but what good was love if we weren’t free to express it? Things needed to change, old ways needed to die in order to make room for the new, and these aliens needed to leave my world the hell alone so we could live in peace. Getting rid of the aliens was the first step, and then it would be time to change the thinking of my people so Bryn and I could be together and not be shunned by our own kind. That’s when a thought hit me. “They’re behind all the chaos, aren’t they? All the chaos and tension that’s been worsening in our world?”
“Yes. Not only do they want to use this world and suck it dry, but they enjoy the chaos. It makes them stronger and us weaker, in a manner of speaking.”
“Oh. You mean like united we stand, divided we fall?” I asked excitedly. Who knew history class would actually serve a purpose in my real life?
Khol smiled. “Yes. Precisely.”
Khol looked like he was going to say more, but I interrupted. “And I wasn’t going to say anything, but what’s up with how you talk? It’s so do not this and will not that and all old fashioned in some ways.”
Khol chuckled. “It’s because I am old fashioned. As I’ve said, I was asleep for a very long time. I’ve been trying to update my manner of speaking. Haven’t I been improving, my little Seer?”
I scowled at him for calling me his little Seer again, but I supposed there was no point in arguing with him at that moment about it. “Yeah, I guess. I mean, before you probably would have said something like, ‘Have I not been improving?’ . . . or something like that.”
“Yes, indeed.”
“And you just backslid.” I laughed at his perplexed expression. “Nevermind, forget it.” I smiled up at Khol for a second before I sobered. “I wanna do something. I need to help stop these assholes.”
“Even when it’s time to move, you will not actively participate.” Khol knelt back down and ran his knuckles along the side of my face, causing me to turn into his touch, much to my dismay. He was so hot, and I wasn’t just talking about how he looked, I was talking about his body temperature. I knew I must feel like ice to him, and I wanted to luxuriate in the warmth his caresses could bring my body. “You’re too precious to endanger in that way. And not just to me, I mean your visions. We would all still be in the dark about this if it weren’t for you. Without you, we wouldn’t stand a chance.”
“But I can’t just sit by and do nothing. I need to help, too.” I locked eyes with Khol and wat
ched as his gaze dipped to fixate on my lips. I knew he was thinking about kissing me, and it made me tremble with longing. I inwardly cursed myself for being so weak. I’d chastised myself all afternoon and evening for what I’d done with both Khol and Jeremy, and now faced with it again, it looked like I hadn’t learned my lesson.
Just for a brief moment I swore I saw fire dance behind the black irises of Kohl’s eyes. Instead of being afraid, I felt myself being drawn closer to him, like I was a moth and his flames compelled me to touch him. I reached out and pressed my thumbs on the outside corners of his eyes. “What are you?” I murmured as he slid his eyelids closed, a small tremor running through him.
“Someone who can’t seem to get control of himself when I’m around you.” His voice was almost hoarse. “Your power sings to mine, like calls to like, and I desire nothing more than to forget my honor and claim you for my own when I am with you.”
“But you won’t.” I swallowed nervously as his eyes snapped back open to resume staring at my lips. “Because I trust you.”
Khol pulled away from me and stood on visibly shaky legs, a small smile tipping the corners of his lips up. “Ah, and that’s the truth of the matter. I will not betray your trust. It means too much to me. So remember, my little Seer, if you lose your trust in me, you lose all that stops me from taking what I truly desire.”
I licked my lips nervously, Khol’s eyes following the movement. “And we’re not just talking about sex, are we?” I don’t know where I found the courage to ask, but I had to know.
A dark laugh filled my dark room, making me want to pull the covers over my head and hide like a little girl. “No, my little Seer, we are not talking about just sex. I want more—ever so much more from you than just that.”
“What? What is it you want from me?” I said with shaky breath. How could I trust someone who scared the crap out of me on so many levels?