Butterflies

  The old vehicle screeched to a halt and I leapt from it before I was even sure I’d stopped.

  Somehow, I knew what I’d see when I looked behind the little truck and three steps is all it took to confirm my first thoughts.

  The second deer was on its side by the edge of the road, legs sprawled at impossible angles, eyes locked on mine as I stepped forward slowly. I thought – maybe hoped – for a moment that it was already dead, but as I got closer those eyes widened and the poor animal tried to struggle to its feet.

  It was a lost cause, though, just its neck rising a little before it slumped back to the verge. As I moved slowly closer, I could see that it was smaller than the first animal – little more than a foal – but worse, I could see that it was terribly injured. At least two of its legs were shattered, the visible shoulder of the animal was crushed, and its ribcage was now concave on the upper side rather the normal convex shape. Its snout was flecked with the pink hue of its saliva as it snorted soft breaths into the late afternoon sunlight.

  Grabbing the Gaia amulet from its chain I sank to my knees beside the young animal’s head and, clutching the silver figure tightly in my left hand, I reached out with my right to rest it on the deer’s forehead. I gasped as a wave, a shadow, of its failing vibrancy coursed through me. I understood immediately that it was clinging to life, something that an older creature would have surrendered, and worse, I felt a wave of the multitude of pains that were only now beginning to register in its confused, sad, mind.

  The frightening creature approached me, its awkward upright gait hesitant, and now it crouched beside me. I couldn’t flee, couldn’t move. Panic and pain threatened to overwhelm me... Where was my mother? Where had she gone? How could she leave me here?

  But then… The creature’s alien hoof, soft not hard, touched my head, rested there. Her grief confused me and yet… Why was I feeling love? What was happening? Where had the saplings gone? Why… why was peace and yet such pain washing through me?

  I jerked back into my own head and uttered a soft cry. I felt, rather than saw, blood seeping from my left hand, fisted around Gaia, but the only pain I truly felt was emanating from the young deer in front of me. I knew then that it was clinging to life only because it knew no different way to be, and in clinging to life with its youthful forces it was also clinging to pain. And it would not survive the injuries I’d so inadvertently inflicted.

  With a final caress of its brow I rose to my feet, tears already forming. For all that I knew, understood, that I had no choice left to make it took so much concentration to make my brain comprehend what was needed.

  I looked down at my overpriced Aeyde heels, the short boots suddenly very sturdy-looking. All I could do was make this is quick as I could, to release the young creature from its confusion and pain as soon as possible. I looked along at its neck and didn’t let myself think anything more. Stamping down with every fraction of my insignificant might my boot connected with the soft, yielding flesh.

  The young deer gave a choked bleat of a noise and its eyes rolled wildly. More snorted, choked breaths had me bringing my foot down once more… then again… and again… and I will never be sure how many more times.

  My own breaths were ragged and pained by the time I stopped, my tears flowing freely. I knelt again and reached for the poor creature’s forehead once more and felt… nothing.

  And in truth I felt very little between my own ears. I had mortally wounded this young beast with my oh-so human vehicle and now I had done what was only right and proper – less typically human and far more part of the natural way. And it left the shadows of its pain and loss cast long on my soul.

  I rose slowly, shakily, then awkwardly dragged the dead deer’s body fully off the road covering it as best I could with shrubbery and long grass. The natural order would see it circle back into the fauna world as fodder for carnivorous animals, birds and insects – and I could do no more.

  No other vehicles had passed to witness my actions and I felt a slightly confused relief. I turned back towards the Land Rover and gasped.

  A young woman whose pale face, dark eyes and anciently elegant clothing marked her is a Goth, was standing by the still-open driver’s door of my vehicle. I shouldn’t have been able to know such things with any certainty, but I immediately knew that she was no car-thief and that she was sympathetic to my situation. I had no idea where those certainties came from and given that we were on a lonely road, miles from anywhere, I had no idea where the young lady herself had come from. Words failed me but oddly, that didn’t seem to matter.

  Life had become surreal, and I walked slowly back to the Land Rover.

  Closer up, the young woman was somehow smaller and more elegant than I had first perceived and maybe more surprisingly she wore a gentle smile on her pale features. She spoke first, and not any words I might have expected.

  “Be proud,” she said, “You did the right thing.”

  I found myself nodding, understanding the fundamental truth that was carried in her words, “Thank you, but it saddened me so much.”

  “There was beauty in your actions.”

  I stared at the young woman and felt the misery that had threatened to overwhelm me sliding away. In its place a calm serenity washed through me, engulfed me. I found myself smiling.

  “We’re miles from anywhere,” I said, simply, “May I give you a lift to the next town…?” My mind swirled some more, “No, actually… may I ask you to accompany me back to my home? I have some very nice wine there… plenty of space…”

  The young woman returned my smile, “That would be lovely. My name, by the way, is Becki, and it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

  “Stephanie… Stephie…” I began to climb back into the Land Rover, “And the pleasure is, I believe, still to come.”

  I settled into the driver’s seat and started the engine, surprised to find that I had not somehow left it stuck in gear or that my clutch bag wasn’t now clutching the clutch or one of the other pedals.

  Chapter 2 – In the Beginning

  The strangeness – probably the wrong word – was there from the start. I pointed out that she bore no travel bag or accessories of any kind: ‘You have nothing’ I had said in conclusion of a longer observation. ‘That’s so true,’ she had responded, ‘And yet, in you, perhaps I have everything…’

  It should perhaps have unsettled me, scared me – and yet it did not. Quite the opposite, in truth. I had stared into her eyes then, maybe seeking the truth within her words, and for the first time I truly and properly observed them.

  They were dark, oh so dark; a brown of the deepest of hues shading almost to black in many regards. And yet they were blue, also, a crystal-clear blue… That this was patently impossible should maybe have alarmed me as well, but again it did not. I wasn’t hypnotised by those beautiful, impossible eyes but there was an enchantment there that I knew was captivating me… capturing me, perhaps. In the back of my mind a key turned softly in an ornate lock and a tiny part of the essential human in me was caged and suddenly quiescent. I felt no alarm or fear or disquiet.

  Oh no, nothing like that. Perhaps, even, something that was very much the opposite.

  The End…

  for a little while

  The final words…

  I live for reviews and comments both positive and negative. Without feedback from readers it’s much harder to improve things and cater for tastes and demand. One great thing that my publisher has done for me – other than publishing my books, of course – is to provide me with a website where readers are invited to leave comments, and where I’m more than happy to publish them!

  There’s also news and links to all of my books, both printed and eBook versions, and lots of other little bits and pieces. Please feel free to check it out at www.georginahawes.com or Regency Rainbow’s own site where you can leave comments as well (plus read about all of my rivals… I mean, fellow Rainbow authors). That can be found at www.regencyrainbow.com.

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nbsp; For the record, She’s No Angel is well under way as I write this, and I seem to be developing an even greater taste in the slightly mystical and much steamier side of things. That’s likely to be on the shelves early next year.

  In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed the stories here in Butterflies – and all of your comments and reviews will be very gratefully received!

  Georgie Hawes, September 2019

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