by Kimbra Swain
“Obviously not,” Tabitha said smacking him on the arm.
“I just assumed Dylan would have told you about a Thunderbird’s blessing,” he said.
“When? When I was pregnant? He wasn’t here. After he was born? He was not here!” I exclaimed in frustration.
“This is probably why you couldn't slow his growth,” Tabitha added. She was trying to calm me down.
I looked at my son who now stood almost eye to eye with me.
“Really, Mom, I'm fine,” he said.
“Well, I'm not!” I exclaimed.
Another presence moved into our conversation. Atohi cleared his throat before he spoke. “Grace, if Aydan had reached maturity before he was blessed, then the Thunderbird tradition would have been lost forever. It's not only important to our people but for the whole world that he exists. We meant no harm. I am surprised that Dylan never told you our ways,” he explained.
“Dylan did not associate with our people as much as other Thunderbirds in the past. We believed this to be because of his split heritage. We hope that your son will interact with us more than his father,” Chaytan said. “Forgive me for not explaining it completely.”
Aydan listened to them intently as he stood near me. He nodded his head silently as they spoke of his father as if he knew the things that Dylan had done.
“What else is there?” I asked.
“Just his name and I would like to give him a token of his heritage from our people,” Chaytan said.
“Anything I need to know about that?” I pressed.
“No. It is a name given to me by the Great Spirit. It was weaved in the clouds by the Spider Woman in a dream I had,” Chaytan said.
“What is it, Sir?” Aydan asked. At least he had manners.
“Our people shall call you Yas Shikoba. It is the Navajo word for snow with the Choctaw word for feather,” Chaytan explained.
“Snow feather?” I asked.
Chaytan smiled widely. “Yes, watch,” he said with a light in his eye. He retrieved a strand of beads from his pocket, offering it to Aydan.
“Thank you. What is it?” Aydan asked as he took the beads.
“These beads will teach you to shift,” he said.
Ayden tied the strand of beads around his neck. He ran his fingers over the beads and smiled his father's dazzling smile.
“Mom, stand back,” he warned.
Stepping away from him moved me closer to Levi who was a ball of knots. He pushed back his emotions as I neared. I'd let him stew a little longer. He needed to understand that our partnership was a priority but nothing was more important than my children.
Aydan bent his knees then leaped into the air. With his arms outstretched, they seemed to sprout feathers which quickly covered his whole body. Before gravity took over, he opened his beak and screeched in the darkness. When he took flight, the storm clouds dissipated as we watched an entirely white raptor soar across the sky.
“He has a little of his mother in him,” Atohi said with appreciation.
“He’s magnificent,” Remy exclaimed.
Aydan circled high above us before dipping down toward the ground. His shifting back wasn’t as smooth as his initial shift. He hit the ground half-bird and half-man, rolling to a stop.
“Gotta work on that landing,” he laughed.
Levi took the opportunity to approach him. He had taken off the shirt that he was wearing. He offered Aydan a hand to pull him off the ground, then the shirt which Aydan pulled over his head. Levi’s scars were open for everyone to see. As far as I knew, no one here had ever seen them. My eyes cut to Tabitha who looked at Levi then back to me. I just closed my eyes blocking out the reason why Levi had scars the in the first place. Aydan stood at least 6 inches shorter than Levi as they stood next to each other.
“Well done, Aydan,” Levi said.
Aydan slapped him on the shoulder in a bizarre display of foreknowledge of man to man gestures. “Thanks, Uncle Levi. Mom, did you see?” he asked.
“I did. It was wonderful,” I said as my mother's heart simultaneously ached with loss and pride. “Your father would be proud.”
“You think?” he asked.
“Yes, Aydan, he would,” I said with no doubt of it in my mind. Thankfully, I had taken pictures along the way to one day show Dylan how his son grew up. We continued to take them after Dylan’s death. Levi had pushed me to do it because he said that’s what parents do. I had those images to hold on to going forward. My baby was gone. Replaced by a nearly grown man.
“I wish I could have known him,” Aydan said.
“Don’t worry. He left some things for you,” Levi said.
“He did?” Aydan asked.
“Yes, I wrote the story of how he met your mother. It’s a good story, and when she thinks you are ready, you can read it,” Levi said. “She’s right. He would be very proud.”
“Were you and he friends?” Aydan asked.
Levi laughed. “Most of the time.”
“Cool. Then you can tell me what he was like,” Aydan insisted.
“Everyone in town knew him. We will all tell you what he was like,” Levi said.
“You okay, Mom?” he asked.
“Yes, Aydan, I’m okay. Just a little shocked,” I said.
He walked over to me, then hugged me tightly. “I’m so glad I have you since he is gone,” Aydan said.
“I’ll always be here for you,” I replied.
Atohi and Remy agreed to see that our visitors’ needs were met. Levi and I used his home spell to go back to the house. He was on the phone with Luther telling him what happened and asking them to keep Winnie for the night. We decided to introduce her to Aydan tomorrow.
As Levi talked, he gathered some clothes for Aydan to wear. They were too big for him, but at least he had something to wear for now.
“Wow! So, I have a sister too,” he said. “That’s great!”
“You might not think so when she starts begging you to color with her,” I said. It made me smile as he explored his world for the first time. A unique perspective on growing up. He and I sat in the living room for a long time talking about family and friends. I told him about Finley and Nestor. He was eager to meet them all. His tone of voice and enthusiasm for life reminded me so much of his father. I knew from the moment that Aydan was born that he was going to be more like Dylan than me, but I had no idea how much.
Levi joined our conversation but remained mostly quiet. I knew that our disagreement in the field still bothered him. I wouldn’t get to rest until we talked about it.
Aydan yawned after a while, and Levi and I caught it too.
“I have a room here?” he asked.
“Of course, but I’m afraid the bed is too small,” I said.
“He can have my room. Just let me grab a couple of things, and you can sleep in there,” Levi said.
“Where will you go?” I asked.
“I’ll sleep down here in Astor’s old room,” Levi said.
It made me suddenly sad to know that I would go to bed, and Levi wouldn’t be in the next room. There was a comfort in knowing he was so close. But my son was now a teenager and needed the bigger bed. I watched Levi rush upstairs to get some things out of his room. He came back not long after with his old backpack. The sleeves of a couple of different shirts hung outside of it, along with one leg of a pair of shorts.
The clothes in his hands he offered to Aydan who grabbed the “Don’t Mess with Texas” t-shirt and a pair of drawstring shorts. He replaced the bigger shirt Levi had given him earlier with the tee which looked like the one that Levi had when he moved here. I had to admit looking at them brought back memories and the realization that Levi had developed not only in power but in stature as well.
“Thanks, Uncle Levi,” he said. Even his voice sounded like Dylan. Maybe an octave or two lower but it was uncanny. I wondered how much Dylan sounded and looked like his parents.
“No problem. You are welcome to anything that is up there until
we can get you a few more things,” Levi said. “I’m going to get settled in the other room. Get a shower.”
“Okay,” I replied. “Come on, Aydan. I’ll show you the room.”
“Okay,” he said looking back to Levi, then to me.
Levi nodded then trotted off to the back bedroom on the lower floor.
As Aydan and I went up the stairs, he watched down the hallway where Levi disappeared.
“Hey, Mom,” he asked.
“Hm?”
“Why doesn’t he sleep with you?” he asked.
“What?” I said turning around at the top of the steps.
“You and he seem close,” he said.
“We are, but not like that,” I said.
“Why not?” he asked.
“It’s complicated,” I replied.
“Because of Dad?” he asked.
“Partially. Your father hasn’t been gone very long,” I said, as I continued to walk to Levi’s old room. When we went inside, Aydan asked so many questions. It made me uncomfortable, but I had to keep telling myself that this was my son. Anything he asked, he deserved to know. I wasn’t sure what all he did know since he had the rapid growth. I’m not sure who was more confused, him or me.
“But you love Uncle Levi,” he said.
“I do,” I admitted.
“So, you just aren’t together like that,” he said.
I sat down on the bed with a sigh. “I miss your father. It pains me to think of replacing him. I haven’t had time to process it all. It wouldn’t be fair to Levi to make a move on my feelings when I still have so much emotion wrapped up with your father.”
“I see. I think,” he said. “But what if something happens to Levi?”
“If something happens to him, I will be devastated. It is all very complicated,” I replied.
He sat down next to me. “This is weird, isn’t it?”
“Yes, very,” I replied.
“My instincts tell me that it’s normal, but I see your face. You are sad,” he said.
Apparently, he had his father’s ability to read my every emotion.
“I loved being your mother. I loved watching you learn new things and grow. You were already growing faster than humans grow. We were trying to make the best of it. Now all of that is gone,” I said.
“But you still love me?” he asked.
I nudged his knee with mine. “Of course. I will love you until the day I stop breathing,” I said. “You and Winnie are my purpose for continuing on after I lost Dylan. Everything that I do, I do it to make a safer place for you and her.”
“There are bad things out there,” he said.
“Yes,” I replied. “Levi and I do our best to protect you.”
“I want to learn to fight as my father did,” he said.
“How do you know he was a good fighter?” I asked.
“There are just some things I know,” he replied. “It’s like they put things in my head. I want to protect you. I want to protect my sister. I even want to learn to help Levi.”
“Your father protected this whole town. He was the sheriff. He took very good care of us all,” I said. “And in the end, he gave up his life to save Winnie.”
“I would do the same thing,” he said.
I looked into his cobalt eyes and said, “I want you to live. Grow up. See the world. I want you to stay out of this fight. I’m fine with you protecting your sister. I get that, but Aydan, this world needs you to live. You are the last Thunderbird. Until you have a child of your own, you will be the only one. I think we have to protect that.”
He hung his head, but I lifted his chin. Kissing him on the cheek, I smiled at how wonderful it was to have him like this. A constant reminder of his father’s undying love for his family. I forgot the regrets of not watching him grow up, and decided to be thankful for what I had. That was the thing that kept me going after Dylan died. It would continue to drive me forward to make the hard decisions. To push us to war. To take back what was ours.
After Aydan went to sleep, I went downstairs to grab a drink out of the fridge. Levi was waiting for me. I tried to ignore him, but he had not seen fit to put a shirt on. It was hard to ignore that. He stood in the darkness of the kitchen watching me cross the room. The moonlight from outside hit his hair showing droplets of water where he had taken a shower. When I opened the fridge to grab an orange soda, the light illuminated the room and his body. The glint of tears rolled down his cheeks.
“Levi?” I said, letting the door close. He wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand.
“Yeah?”
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“I stepped out of line. I shouldn’t have held you back from Aydan. It was wrong of me, but all I could think about was keeping you safe,” he said.
“If you hadn’t, I might have been harmed,” I said, trying to console him. My anger had waned after talking so long with Aydan. What happened to my son was completely natural for his being and power. I needed to get over myself in order to be the mother that he needed during this transition. Which meant, I needed to forgive Levi for following his instincts to protect me. His natural reaction to the situation.
“You aren’t mad?” he asked.
“I want you to know that if it ever happens again, I don’t know if I can hold back from hurting you to get to my children. I don’t want to ever have to make that choice,” I said. “You lose in that decision every time.”
“I know that. You are absolutely right,” he said. “You are upset though.”
“My child is almost a man,” I choked out.
“I know. Just a few hours ago I was chasing him around the room,” he said. “I had plans for us. I wanted to take him fishing, teach him to ride a horse, and teach him to play guitar.”
“I'm pretty sure you can still do that,” I said.
“Yeah, but I like chasing him around the room,” he sighed. “Like a father figure. Hell. Now I'm like his slightly older brother.”
“Not nearly as cool,” I said.
“Not nearly.” He paused thinking over his next words. “But that's nothing compared to what's going on inside of you.”
My lip trembled. “Just like Dylan, I have to be thankful for what I have. He will be able to protect himself better now. He said he wants to learn to fight.”
“I can teach him,” he said.
“I don’t want him to fight! He’s my baby!” I protested.
Levi reached for me. I started to resist, but I needed comfort. I needed him. I laid my head on his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist. He stroked my back lightly.
“I'm sorry,” he whispered.
“It’s not your fault,” I replied.
“No, I'm really sorry about holding you back. You are my number one priority and protecting him is just as important as protecting you. I lost sight of that for a moment. Not to mention, the thoughts that went through your head on wanting to kill me scared me just a little. When I realized what Remy was saying. I just reacted,” he said.
“Remy is a bad influence,” I muttered.
“That was an excuse. Not a very good one either,” he said.
“Thanks for not letting me get melted by a lightning bolt,” I replied, stepping away from his embrace.
He didn’t say anything for a few minutes while I sipped on my orange drink. When I sat it on the counter to go to bed, I felt his desire for me to stay with him for a little while longer. So, I lingered.
“You stayed up there with him for a while,” he said.
“He had lots of questions about our family,” I said. “It’s like he knows life, but not his life.”
“Like what?” Levi pressed.
I leaned back to look at him in the darkness. “Were you listening in?” I asked.
A shit-eating grin crossed his face and he laughed nervously. “Honestly, no. But I know when you are beating around the bush,” he said. “Spill.”
“He asked why we weren't sleeping together,” I
said, too emotionally drained to put up a good fight.
His face lit up. “Oh, really? I like the new older Aydan. He’s my new wingman.”
“Shut your pie hole. He’s not anyone's wingman,” I said.
“Yep. I'm gonna start calling him Goose,” he teased. “Wait. What did you tell him?”
“I said that it was complicated,” I replied.
“It’s really not. Here. Repeat after me. Levi, come to bed with me,” he laughed. I glared at him and he laughed louder. “Getting you riled up is too much fun.”
“Well, I hope that keeps you warm at night,” I smirked.
“Being in bed with you wouldn't, Little Miss Ice Queen,” he said as he continued to laugh.
I turned on him to stomp off. “I'm gonna…” I started to say as he jerked me back to him leaning into my ear from behind.
“Tell me what you are going to do to me,” he growled.
I shivered, then realized I was completely turned on by that. He let go quickly as I jerked away.
“Whoa!” he said. His shocked look morphed into pure predatory mode. I put my hands up to keep him away as I walked backward.
“Levi,” I said.
His grin lifted on one side of his mouth more than the other. Every move he made toward me was slow and deliberate.
“You can run, but there was no mistaking that,” he said as his voice dropped an octave.
“I've never denied being attracted to you,” I said in my defense.
He moved closer as I continued to move toward the steps.
“That was more than just attraction,” he said lowering his chin. “That turned you on.”
“Levi, stop. I mean it,” I said trying to sound convincing. This wasn't the right time. This wasn't it. My emotions weren't ready no matter how much my body betrayed me.
“Shame on you, Grace, for wanting a man barely older than your son,” he continued his stalk.
“I swear! Levi!” When he was overt like this, I could barely contain the flip-flopping fairy inside of me. She was itching to get some action. Any kind of action. I told her to sit down and shut up.
Just before I bounded up the stairs away from him, he grabbed me again. This time he pressed his hand into the small of my back pulling me back to his bare chest which I was hyper-aware of now.