by Ryan Michele
He let out a long breath. “You’re mine, Rylynn. Even if you’re not on the back of my bike or in my bed, you’re mine. Everyone is gonna know it. I can’t let you go. I won’t let you go. We’ll get past this.”
“How do I get past you loving another woman, Crow?”
“I don’t. Haven’t loved her that way in a long damn time. Fucked up, baby. Know it and own it.”
My heart continued to throb. “Do you realize how much I want to believe you? How much I want to just let it all go and forget it ever happened? I can’t. That trust that I was building with you was damaged in a way that I don’t think it can be rebuilt.”
“It can and it will.”
He sounded so sure of himself, and I didn’t know what to think. Everything was swirling around me jumbled up in my head. Love made people do stupid shit all the time. I just never thought it would be in my lap to find.
“Need time.” I made a move to get up from his lap, but he held me tight. “Please let me go, Crow. Need time, and you need to give it to me. Know it’s hard for you to do, but I’m asking you to give me time.”
His arms lessened just enough for me to get up.
“Need you to go so I can have that time, Crow.”
It was then I took a chance and saw it in his eyes, face, and demeanor. He was hurting. I hated that for him, I really did. But he needed to give me this. This situation was on him and if he didn’t give it to me, we’d be over in every way possible. “Please,” I said one more time as he got up from the couch to stand in front of me.
Grasping me and pulling me into him, he kissed me hard, wet, and deep as my knees went weak and tears flowed with purpose.
He pulled away then swiped the tears from my face. “I’ll be back,” he said, giving me one more kiss on the lips, then he was gone.
I fell to the couch, curled into a ball, and allowed everything inside of me to flow.
I was broken. Shattered. Devastated.
A mess.
He was both my pain and my peace.
15
Crow
Pissed didn’t even cut through what I felt right now as I pulled into the Sumner Ravage MC parking lot and parked my bike. There were quite a few in the lot, but I had one man in my mind to see.
“Crow!” Austyn yelled, coming up to me and wrapping her arms around my neck. She needed this and I gave it to her, trying to push what I was feeling out, but not being able too.
“Hey,” I said as she pulled away.
“I’m so excited you’re here! Dad didn’t say anything about it.”
That’s when the gravelly voice came from my left. “That’s because I didn’t know.” Cruz came up, shook my hand, and gave me a one-handed hug. “What’s goin’ on?” he asked me, eyeing me up and down.
That was when the air around us changed. We were outside, but that didn’t matter. It felt as if we were in a small room with the oxygen constricting.
I knew exactly who it came from.
I’d wanted it.
It was the reason I was here.
Not to see Cruz, my brothers, or sister.
No. I came because I needed to see him face to face.
From the fire breathing out of Rhys, he knew I fucked up with his daughter huge. He knew what I’d done and had every right to be pissed at me. Christ help whoever treated my girl like that.
I deserved it.
Craved it.
Needed it.
Needed the punishment.
Cruz stepped in front of me as Rhys marched directly for me. “Cruz. Move,” I ordered, but he didn’t. “Now,” I barked a bit louder.
Since Cruz didn’t move I did meeting Rhys just in time for him to swing and connect with my jaw. Blood spewed from my lip, spraying to the blacktop as I turned back to him and charged him, catching him in the ribs.
He grunted, swung again, and clocked me in the shoulder, then I got him in the throat. It took him a few minutes to recover from that one as it knocked the wind out of him.
“Fucker,” he grumbled, coming back at me full force. Cruz stepped in front of him, and I darted to the side where Rhys’ lurched at me.
Punch after punch was thrown.
Blood ran down my face, but neither of us backed down. Just kept going after one another over and over again.
“Fuckin’ love her, man.” I told Rhys something I hadn’t even told Rylynn yet, but it was true. She was it for me. She was my end game. Didn’t fucking deserve her one bit, but loved her all the same.
He swung connecting with my ribs and jabbing twice, and I jolted. “Great way of showin’ it. All over another piece at your clubhouse. Asshole. She deserves more.”
That was when I really knew how close Rylynn was with her father. She’d told him everything. It was my cross to bear. I blocked, then he hit me in the eye. “Fucked up.”
He went for the face again, but I ducked getting him in the abs. “Ya think, motherfucker?” he got out without missing a beat, landing a hard one to my ribs.
Rhys was a beast and going to take every hit I gave him. While I was in the wrong, I was also Ravage and not a pussy. Rhys would really have no respect for me if I gave him nothing back. As much as he needed to hurt me, I needed it in return.
A motorcycle roared in the distance, but I didn’t pay any mind to it. That sound was everywhere and became a knowing sound everywhere I went.
I landed a blow to his eye, and he returned the favor again. Arms wrapped around my middle pulling me back as I fought to keep upright. I needed Rhys to kick my ass. Needed to feel his anger for what I did. Needed him to take it out on me and put me through the wringer.
I relished the fucking pain.
It was better than feeling like a dickhead to Rylynn.
Arms wrapped around Rhys as he started back for me.
“Enough,” Cruz barked hard and rough, gaining everyone’s attention.
“What in the hell is goin’ on here!” Rylynn screamed, coming to stand next to Cruz, between her father and me, but her eyes were my way. “You came to beat up my dad?”
“Fuck if he beat me up,” Rhys grumbled, still pissed as hell and fighting the grip on him. There were two guys on him though. I still thought if he really wanted to, he could break away and come at me again. Same with me. If I really wanted to, I could get away as well, but seeing Rylynn stopped me from breaking free.
Two men loving the same woman in two totally different ways. Life threw some fucked up shit. As a father, I felt his anger. As a man, I felt it just the same. Fuck, I hated this shit.
Rylynn got up in my face, standing on her tiptoes to get at eye level. She was tall, but not as much as me. “I told you I needed space.” She flung out her hands as the ones holding me let go. “And this is how you do that? By coming here and hitting my father?”
I wouldn’t lie to her, so I said nothing. Rhys needed to beat the shit out of me. I deserved it. We both knew it. He knew the score. I knew the score. Never back down. Ever.
Rhys was coming up hard and fast behind Rylynn. I grabbed her quick and pressed her against my back. It was so fast she didn’t have time to complain or bitch. It also made Rhys come up short. I was prepared for him. Ready to take what he was going to give me and make for damn sure nothing touched Rylynn.
He scanned me from top to toe. It took him a few beats and as Rylynn tried to come out from behind my back, I grabbed her again holding her with one arm. The other at the ready for whatever was about to happen. Because it wasn’t going to be pretty.
“You fucked up,” Rhys said instead of swinging.
“Yep. Already said that.”
Rylynn yelled, “Stop boxing me in!” as she tried to swing back around to get away. Luckily, I kept her where she needed to be, even if she was punching my back. Not that I thought her father would hurt her. It was just instinct to protect her in any way that I could.
Rhys pointed behind me. “That one. You have to earn.”
“Damn right, and I’m fuckin’ doin’
it.”
“We’ll see.” He turned on his boot and stormed into the clubhouse. Only then did I let Rylynn go and when I did, she was breathing fury. Every bit of it I was ready to take.
“I can’t believe you just fought my dad!” she barked up at me, hands on her hips and attitude up to a thousand percent. Damn, she was beautiful.
Her eyes looked all over me, but she didn’t need to feel anything for the bloodshed. It may not have needed to happen like this, but it needed to be done. He was pissed and needed to let it out. Me, I was just pissed and needed a good fight. Win-win.
“Pixie.”
“Don’t you Pixie me! I can’t believe you right now. I tell you I need time and you come here and fight.” She looked at my face. Her eyes hit mine. Connected. She softened only slightly, but I would take whatever I could get. “Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up.” She grabbed my hand, but I pulled her to me instead and kissed her hard and fast.
She pulled back with my blood on her. “Seriously?” she said, letting go of my hand and marching into the clubhouse. I followed behind feeling the blood running down my face.
Cruz came up to me and slapped me on the shoulder. “Well that was a good way to welcome you into the family.” He chuckled, and my lip tipped.
“Yeah. It’s somethin’ alright.”
The party was in full swing. Even telling the Sumner Ravage that I didn’t need it, they still put it together on the fly. One thing these people knew how to do was throw a bash.
After getting cleaned up and having Rylynn ream my ass a few more times, people started showing up. People who included some of my family it seemed.
I’d met Pops before, several times, but had to say this time was different.
“Son,” he said, coming up to me, holding his hand out, and giving me a one-handed hug. Fuck, I had a grandpa. Strange.
“Hey.” I returned the gesture as he released me and stood back.
“Sorry about not makin’ it to your father’s service. The doc’s been keepin’ an eye on me and had to go in for tests. He was a great man, Crow.”
“Yes, he was. Thanks for that.”
“Know this is all kinds of fucked up, but we’ll manage.” His ol’ lady, Ma, came up to us. “You remember Ma?”
She didn’t hesitate to wrap me in her arms tight and hold me for a while. Her body shook. Fuck, another woman crying on me today. “It’s alright,” I tried to comfort as she pulled back.
“You’re so big. I just.” She shook her head. “Sorry.”
“It’s a weird situation. We’re all gaining our legs.”
“So sorry about your dad, Crow. He was a good man.” Damn. My grandma, who just found out she was, still gave the respect to my father that was deserved. These people. They were… Great.
“I am too.”
She smiled wide. “Now I hear that I have some great-grandbabies who need to be spoiled. We need to set up a time for us to come out there and get to know your kids.”
“Ma, the man just found out he has us, don’t throw us in his face,” Pops said, and it made me smile. “Let the man get to know us then we can meet the kids.” He looked at me. “She’s a little excited about the prospect of having great-grandkids.”
“Understandable.”
I felt someone staring at me, looked and saw Rylynn. Giving her a soft smile, she returned it but turned away quickly. Fuck, that was going to be an uphill battle.
The second introduction came from a ten-year-old little girl who I knew immediately was Rylynn’s baby sister because they looked just like each other.
“Hi, I’m Mazie,” she said, holding out her hand.
I knelt down and took it, giving it a shake. “I’m Crow.”
Two seconds I was kneeling, the next I was flat on my ass as Mazie pushed me down then stood over top of me. “That’s for hitting my daddy!” she said, storming away.
Bursting out laughing, the sun was blocked and looking up it was my girl. She held out her hand to me. I clasped it and went with her as she pulled me up. “She’s a little protective.”
“Ya think?”
Rylynn was smiling, something I’d much rather see her do than cry. I wrapped her in my arms as she looked up at me. When she closed her eyes and tried to take a step back, I kissed her. In front of all her family, the club, her father—everyone. I didn’t give a fuck. She was mine and would always be mine. She needed to know it. They needed to know it.
Only after I was done, did I let her go. She moved away from me, her hand to her lips going into the clubhouse.
“You know…” Austyn started as I turned to her, her face alight. “Rylynn’s a tough woman.”
A chuckle escaped me. “Know that one.”
“No, you really don’t.”
She took me over to a picnic table to the opposite side where few people were conversing. We sat on the top of it, our feet resting on the actual seat. Me and my sister. Fuck, that was strange. Growing up an only child, never thought this was something I’d have and wasn't quite sure how I felt about it.
“Then tell me.”
“And what fun would that be? I want to see her kick your ass.”
I chuckled. “That would be funny you say?”
“My mom and Riley taught her a lot. You’d be surprised.”
“She’s already put a woman on her ass at my house. Not that the bitch didn’t deserve it, but I know she’s tough.”
She leaned her elbows to her knees. “Not just that though. It’s her.” She shrugged. “You jacked shit up, but you know it. People talk around here. You show her you’re not that man. And let me tell you, you do that, you’ll be the richest man in Alabama. Because she’s everything, Crow. Total package.”
Looking over at her smiling face, I said, “You’re right.” Wrapping my arm around her, I pulled her into my body giving her a side hug. She melted into me.
“I want to get to know you, Crow. And your kids. Please don’t shut us out.”
A large huff of breath escaped. “Gonna do my best. Everything’ll work out in the end.”
“Let’s hope.”
Nothing like a heart to heart with the sister you never knew you had.
It was after the food was consumed and everyone was settling in when Cooper approached. I was sitting by the fire outside when he sat next to me.
Rylynn had been giving me a wide berth that I was tired of and planned on making it very narrow very soon. There was no hiding. She needed time. She had until the party was over. That was as much as she was going to get.
“Isn’t this the end all be all,” Cooper said next to me, taking a drink of his beer. As I looked out among the Sumner Ravage MC, everyone welcomed me with open arms. Everyone but Rhys and Mazie, that was.
Even knowing them through the brotherhood, knowing them as true family was something to get used to. Especially now that my dad was in the ground. It made it all even more strange.
“You’re tellin’ me.”
“So we gonna see you around here more?” he asked straight out.
“Visits, but bein’ straight with ya. Here for Rylynn. This was just a bonus.” Grabbing my beer off the table, I took a swallow.
“Get that one.” He chuckled. “Funny, once you get a taste, you just fuckin’ know.”
“Is this brother to brother advice here?”
He grinned wider. “Somethin’ like that.” The grin faded. “There’s nothin’ we can do about the past. Can’t change it or rearrange it. Know your dad was a good man. Never want to shit on his memory either. The thing is our dad is a good man too. Know it’ll be jacked up. Know it won’t be easy, but get to know him not just as the president of the club, but as father and son.”
“Does this mean that we have thirty plus years of fightin’ to make up for?”
He laughed full out again. “Nah. That’s where we got lucky. Don’t have to go through that bullshit to see the other side.” His hand came to my shoulder. “Family can never be too big. Know you have on
e in Alabama, but you have blood here in Sumner. Don’t forget that.”
With another squeeze, he was gone. The weight of the past few hours hit me hard. Every step of it was momentous in some way or the other. It was all heavy even though each of them tried to make it light.
During the ride here, all I could think about was getting to Rylynn. All of this—
the party, getting to know people who share the same blood—was a bounty I didn’t feel like I deserved. The entire thing was strange, and trying to process it all was hard.
It didn’t make my need for Rylynn one bit less. I went in search of Rylynn. Almost to the door, I was stopped with a tight grip on my arm. Turning, Princess stood there. My stepmother. Lord, the bitch was hard as hell, and now she was …
“Come talk to me,” she said, turning around and walking through two doors. Inside was a large ring, but other than that the place was empty. Quiet.
“Need to get your pulse with the family,” she said, straight out not beating around the bush. That was what I liked about her. No bullshit. Straight out. Reminded me of Rylynn.
Legs wide, hands in the back pocket of my jeans I answered, “Still alive.”
She chuckled. “You are that.” She moved around to a set of chairs, nodding her head to one while she sat in the other. Pulling it back a touch I sat. “Cruz, Cooper, Nox, Austyn all of them want to know more about you. My girl is takin’ this shit really hard because of the lost time. Need to know that they put their hands out there, you’re not gonna chop them off.”
I shook my head. “You haven’t changed a bit.”
“Nope.”
“Not choppin’ anything off. I want to get to know them too, but straight out, this trip was for Rylynn. She will be on the back of my bike and in Alabama with me. Gettin’ all of this was the icing on the cake. ‘Preciate it.”
“You’re not just a brother, you’re blood. Now that you have us though, we’re like an STD—we never go away.”
I burst out laughing. “Did Pixie get her smart mouth from you?”
“Pixie? You call Rylynn Pixie?”
On a shrug, I replied, “Suits her don’t ya think? I mean she’s sweet as sugar, short with Tinkerbelle hair. It fits.”