by Susan Hayes
“He really is fine. I checked his wounds myself. This is only a formality.”
Toro grunted and fell in at Jaeger’s side.
“So, what’s the plan?” Toro asked via their comm channel.
“Flirt shamelessly and hope she agrees to go out with us.” He hoped that didn’t sound as lame as it had in his head.
“Not much of a plan. We tried that already and didn’t get anywhere,” Toro replied, sounding dubious.
“Luke told me to keep trying. He thinks we’re getting to her. I’m taking his advice.”
“Did he also tell you to get stabbed? Or was that your own brilliant idea?”
“That wasn’t planned. It happened, and I reacted.”
“How did you get hurt, anyway?” Toro asked out loud.
“Some idiot accused him of cheating, and they got into it. Kit put a stop to the fight but then the asshole came at me with a knife,” Cyn explained as she guided them down the concourse, heading for the central hub of the station. It was approaching the dinner hour, which explained why the place was packed. Residents and visiting crew on leave were all out to find food, drinks, and whatever entertainment they craved.
“Let me guess, Jaeger interfered?” Toro asked Cynder.
“Yep. I’m still not sure if I’m flattered or insulted.”
She glanced over at him, and judging by the look in her eyes, she wasn’t as insulted as she pretended to be. He was definitely making progress.
“It’s the way he is, Cyn. Jaeger would never stand by and watch someone else get hurt if he could stop it.”
Cynder stopped and turned around to face them. “Why?”
“Because I’ve already seen too many good people get hurt or killed. Sometimes, I was the one who did the hurting. I don’t want to be that man anymore. I want to be better,” Jaeger confessed. He didn’t like talking about the past, but he wouldn’t lie about it, either. Not to Cynder. If she was interested in them, she deserved to know the truth from the start. They had both done things they weren’t proud of during the war.
Her expression softened, and for one brief moment, her guard dropped. Grief, pain, and darkness showed in her beautiful green eyes, only to vanish again a heartbeat later; locked away behind the walls she had built around her heart. “Don’t we all.”
He knew that look. He had seen it in the mirror too many times not to recognize it. Cynder might have survived the wars, but she had lost part of herself along the way. A strange new thought streaked through his mind, as quick and bright as a shooting star. They were all missing part of themselves. Maybe together, they could find a way to make each other whole again.
CHAPTER FOUR
Toro stayed quiet for the rest of the walk to the medical center. He was too busy watching the interaction between Cynder and Jaeger to talk. Something had changed tonight. It gave him hope that she wasn’t as immune to their attempts to know her better as she first appeared. Whatever was going on, he didn’t want to charge in and screw it up by saying the wrong thing. Beginnings were delicate things, and he wasn’t good at being delicate. He was more of a blunt instrument. Good for bashing and breaking, but when it came to subtlety, he left things to Jaeger. Working with delicate components in high-pressure situations was what his brother was designed for, and he was damned good at it.
The medical center turned out to be only a few minutes’ walk from the club. It was nice to know help wasn’t far away if something went sideways during a fight. The short walk wasn’t short enough to stop them from getting odd looks and outright stares. Jaeger’s once-white silk shirt was slashed and bloody, not to mention that Cynder was wearing more than a little of his batch brother’s blood on her hands and arms. They were enough of a mess to garner the interest of even the Drift’s jaded population.
Once they were through the doors of the medical center, the sights and scents triggered memories Toro preferred not to dwell on. He didn’t want to recall the long, dark hours spent in other medical bays and laboratories over the years. The times when he was at the mercy of hard-eyed technicians who treated him and his fellow cyborgs like machines instead of living beings.
“Why do all these places look the same? Just once it would be nice to walk into a medical center that wasn’t painted the same damned color of industrial beige,” Cynder muttered.
“Better yet, make it a nice, cheerful yellow and make it smell like fresh-baked cookies,” Jaeger said.
All three of them laughed, and the dark memories receded again, leaving behind a sense of camaraderie he hadn’t felt since the last two surviving members of his batch had left them to seek their fortunes. After that, it had only been he and Jaeger. The two of them against an indifferent and sometimes hostile galaxy.
“What about you, Toro? What would you add to these places to make them more welcoming?” Cynder asked.
“A popcorn machine in the waiting room. You know, one of those old-fashioned ones you only see in vids now. Red and white, with a glass case full of fresh popcorn all drenched in melted butter.”
Both of them stopped and turned to stare at him. “I love it,” Cynder exclaimed.
“And now I want popcorn smothered in butter. Damn, can you imagine how good this place would smell?”
“You know, I bet we could make something like that work for fight nights,” Cynder mused. “I wonder where the fraxx we could find a popcorn machine. I’m going to have to ask Zura to put the word out we’re looking for one. Her contacts are amazing. If there’s one in existence, she’ll find it.”
The three of them walked up to the reception desk and were greeted by a matronly looking human woman who was all smiles. “You’re not on the books for today, Cyn. What brings you by?”
Cynder moved aside and pointed to Jaeger’s bloody clothing. “Hi, Anna. We had a situation at the club. Is Dr. Jefferies on duty?”
“As it happens, she is.” Anna quirked a brow. “She’s with a patient right now. Dr. Basque is free, though.”
Cynder shook her head. “Alyson is going to want to meet Jaeger, eventually; it might as well be now.”
“Ah, like that, is it?” Anne bobbed her head in understanding and handed Jaeger a data tablet. “Fill in your information, please. Once you’re done, I’ll take you to an examination room.”
“Where he goes, I go,” Toro informed the receptionist.
“Oh, well then, I better put you in the bigger room. The two of you are going to take up a lot of real estate.”
“Seriously? I’m already healing. This is just a formality, remember? You do not need to babysit me, T. I’m fine.”
Toro crossed his arms over his chest, his jaw set in a stubborn line, and he knew there was no point in arguing. “I want to meet this doctor. She’s interested in cyborgs, right? Last time I checked, I was one, too. Odds are one of us is going to wind up back here again, eventually. We might as well get introductions done now.”
Cynder snorted. “Fair point. Alyson’s going to want to meet you both. In fact, she’s probably going to be ticked I didn’t introduce you to her already. She’s trying to become an expert on what we are and how to treat us.”
“Why is that?” Jaeger asked as he tapped away at the tablet in his hand. “Most doctors think we need mechanics, not medical expertise.”
Cyn hesitated for a second before answering. “She got involved with us by accident. The story isn’t common knowledge, but enough people know about it that you’re going to hear a version of it, eventually. You might as well hear the truth from me. A few months ago, Zura was being hassled by an ex-boyfriend. Long story short, this asshole wasn’t getting anywhere with Zura, so he kidnapped her brother Royan to get her attention. She, Kit, and Luke went after Royan, and Zura got shot during the rescue. She was close to death with no way to get her to help in time. Kit and Luke took a chance and transferred their medi-bots to her, hoping it would save her life.”
Toro blinked in shock. “That should never have worked on a non-cyborg.”
&nbs
p; “It shouldn’t have, but it did. No one knows why. Dr. Jefferies is the one who treated Zura afterward, and she’s still keeping a close eye on her in case something changes. Since then, she’s become very interested in everything to do with cyborg technology.”
“And the corporations are okay with that?” Toro asked, surprised.
“Not really, no. They don’t like it, but they can’t stop us from going to her. After all, we’re not their property anymore.”
“Now, I really want to meet this doctor,” Jaeger said as he tapped the tablet one last time and then rose to his feet.
“Me, too,” Toro agreed.
They were taken into an exam room. It had minimal furnishings: a bed and only a single chair, so Toro claimed an empty corner for himself. He leaned up against the wall, trying to take up as little space as he could. Cynder took the chair, while Jaeger sat on the bed, though he refused to lie down, despite Cynder and Toro’s suggesting he do so.
“You’re the one who wanted me to come with you to medical as your nurse, remember? So you should be listening to me,” Cynder said.
“Well, yeah. But that’s because I was hoping you’d hold my hand and whisper sweet, nurturing things to me to keep my spirits up. Not tell me to lie down like I was on death’s door,” Jaeger joked.
“If you want sweet, then I am not the woman for you.”
“Sweet or not, I think you might be,” Jaeger said.
“You’re flirting, now?” she asked.
“This is the first time we’ve gotten you all to ourselves since our first meeting. So yeah, I’m flirting.”
Cynder glanced over at Toro. “Is he always like this when he gets hurt?”
“Never. In fact, he’s never like this, period.” That wasn’t exactly true, but it wasn’t the moment to mention that Jaeger was acting like the man he used to be before the years of killing took their toll. These days, he was the only one who saw the old Jaeger; at least, he had been until now. He didn’t quite know what else to say, but he felt he had to say something. “We like you and want to get to know you better. You haven’t made it easy. So we’re here, flirting with you, because now is all we’ve got.”
She stared at him and his gut twisted as he waited for her to say something. Anything.
She rubbed a finger across the scar on her jaw then sighed very softly. “You’re serious?”
“Completely,” Toro said, not trusting himself to say anything more.
“Then I guess I could give this a shot. I mean, Jaeger did get himself stabbed for me. That’s got to be worth something, right?”
“When’s your next night off?” Jaeger asked, taking charge.
“Two nights from now.”
“Okay. Then two nights from now, we’re taking you to dinner. Somewhere outside the club where we can relax and talk and get to know each other.”
Cynder nodded. It was tentative, but it was enough. She’d said yes. Toro wanted to cheer. “Thank you,”
“For what?” she asked.
“For giving us a chance.” If there was one thing he had learned in his life, it’s that chances like this didn’t come very often. When they did, the only thing to do was to dig in and hold on.
* * * *
Cynder’s head was spinning. How had her evening changed directions so suddenly? One minute she was in her office, mocking herself for watching Toro and Jaeger on the monitors like some pathetic voyeur, and now she had a date with them both. A date. What the hell did she even know about dating? She had never done it. Not once. While she was in service, her encounters with men had been purely physical. A request was made, and she was programmed to comply. There was no romance to it. No flirting or laughter. This was going to be something else, something she had no experience with.
“Save your thanks until after our dinner. By then, you might have regrets.” They deserved at least that much warning.
“I doubt that’s going to happen,” Jaeger said.
“Then you’re more of an optimist than I am,” she replied. She still wasn’t sure why she had opened herself up to them at all. They were attractive, but she never had trouble turning down attractive men before. Maybe it was because they had shown their interest without trying to force things. Maybe it was because Jaeger had gotten hurt in some misguided attempt to protect her. Or maybe she had been alone too damned long. It was probably all of the above, but not necessarily in that order.
Any further conversation was halted by the arrival of the doctor. Alyson Jefferies was a willowy blonde with kind gray eyes and a soft voice that could put even the most agitated patient at ease. Beneath the gentle demeanor, though, was a smart, determined woman who was dedicated to her profession, and her patients.
“Hello. I’m Dr. Jefferies. I understand you were the victim of a knife attack.” She offered her hand to Jaeger in greeting.
“Hey, Doc. I’m Jaeger.” He took her hand and shook it before continuing. “My shirt’s in worse shape than I am. I’m only here because the Nova Club’s owners wanted my injuries documented for Corp-Sec.”
“Mhmm,” she hummed, noncommittally. “Take your shirt off, please. Let’s see what the damage is, and then I’ll let you know how bad your injuries are. Unless you’ve gotten a medical degree since you were released from military service, in which case I’ll happily take your opinion under advisement.”
Toro chuckled. “I like you already, doc. I’m Toro.”
The blonde doctor glanced over at Toro, her gray eyes twinkling. “That will likely change once I’m done with your friend and move on to you, Toro. You’re both cyborgs, right? I’d like permission to take a few samples, ask you a host of embarrassing questions, and then repeat the whole process from time to time as I come up with new tests.”
Toro blinked. “Uh. Really?”
Cynder burst out laughing. “She’s not kidding. She’s far nicer about it than any of the lab-techs we had to deal with back when we served, though. I promise.”
Toro’s handsome face folded into a decidedly stubborn frown. “Take a look at Jaeger first, then we’ll talk about these tests of yours.”
“I think that’s the same face you made the first time I broached the topic with you, Cyn. I wasn’t serious about doing the tests today. What if we book some time on another day so that we can talk about it? I’ll explain what I’d like to test for, and you can decide if that’s acceptable to you both. There’s a lot I don’t know about your kind, and I’d like to remedy that, but I’m not going to push anyone into doing something they don’t want done.”
“Most cyborgs I’ve met all had similar experiences when it comes to labs and doctors, but if you’re really interested in treating us like patients and not lab experiments, I’m game to come back,” Jaeger said. He unbuttoned his bloodstained shirt and eased it off with care, making sure not to reopen either of his injuries.
He looked around for a place to put it, and Cynder held out her hand to take it from him. That was when she finally saw the blood on her hands. Jaeger’s blood. Her hands were sticky with it, her forearms smeared and streaked with red. Instantly, she was hurtled into a memory of another time and place. She was lying in the cold gray mud of an unnamed world, her twin cradled in her arms. Dana’s blood had covered her then, too. So much blood. Too much. She died as Cynder held her and begged her to hang on. The damage to her body was more than even her medi-bots could fix.
Grief slammed into her, a comet-strike of pain and loss that made her forget everything else. Iron bands locked around her chest, squeezing until her lungs ached, and she had to fight to breathe. The part of her brain still working recognized that she was having a panic attack, but knowing what was happening wasn’t the same thing as being able to make it stop. Her heart pounded against her ribs and senses went into overdrive, amplifying everything until she was overwhelmed by it all. The lights flared too bright, the scent of antiseptic and metallic blood made her gag. She scrubbed her hands against her shirt, frantically trying to get the blood off.<
br />
Then, someone was behind her. Strong arms wrapped around her, holding her without making her feel confined.
“I’ve got you, Cynder. Take a breath. Do you need to wash your hands?” Toro’s voice was a soft murmur in her ear. He was right behind her, a solid wall of warmth and comfort.
She leaned into him and managed to suck in a lungful of air. “Sink. Please.”
He walked her over to the small sink in the examination room, never breaking contact. When she was in front of it, he reached around to turn on the water, filled the palm of one hand with cleanser, and began to gently wash her hands for her.
It was the most intimate thing anyone had ever done for her. Her gratitude at his kindness was mixed with her humiliation at knowing the others had seen her like this. Broken. Useless. Weak. She hated feeling this way. Fraxx, she thought was past these stupid attacks. It had been months since the last one. Longer since experiencing one anywhere near this bad.
“Thanks,” she murmured, pulling her hands out of his to finish the job herself. She ignored the way her fingers shook as she scrubbed away every trace of blood.
“We’ve all been there,” Toro told her.
He stayed where he was until she turned off the tap, then he gathered up a handful of paper towels and gave them to her before moving away and giving her the space she needed. She dried her hands and inspected them again, making sure there was nothing left to trigger another attack. She didn’t want to turn around and face the others. She had no desire to see the looks of pity on their faces, or to see the judgment in their eyes. She knew she was broken, and now, so did everyone else in the room.
She turned around eventually, and her tension eased as soon as she saw that no one was watching her. Jaeger’s focus was on the doctor as she ran some kind of scanner over the wound in his side, while Toro was back in his corner, arms across his chest and eyes closed. If it weren’t for the lingering nausea and unease she felt, it would be easy to believe her meltdown had never happened. Once again, she owed Jaeger and Toro a debt of gratitude. They were good guys. If they still wanted to go out with her after what they’d witnessed, then she would count herself lucky. Not that she would blame them if they backed out now.