I felt rooted to the ground. Roses? I had used the same soap and perfume that morning that I always used. It occurred to me then that he had discovered my identity by my scent. My scent. Had he known it was me all along? My face still burned from his touch, and my legs shook beneath me like the leaves in the trees. Had he touched me to affirm his suspicion? Or had he touched me because he wanted to? I placed my palm against my cheek, hoping the contact would serve to cool it.
I turned my attention to the rest of the game, eager for a distraction. Luke found Betsey next after she sneezed. She was shockingly close to where I had been standing, but farther into the trees. How had I not noticed her?
Since Martha was the last to be found, she was declared the winner. We all returned to the center of the lawn and Luke tore off his blindfold, his smiling eyes meeting mine quick enough to set my heart pounding all over again. Shush, I scolded it, my unease growing.
“I think Miss Elizabeth should be next,” Betsey said. Her quiet, rasped voice held no sign of entertainment at the game, and her eyes held nothing but spite as she looked at me.
“Yes, yes!” Maryann clasped her hands in front of her. She swished her skirts back and forth with a rocking motion.
My face split into a grin. “Very well. Do you all think I can find you faster than your brother did?”
“Yes!” The answer came in unison from all sisters but Betsey, who continued staring at me in silence.
Luke walked forward, blindfold in hand. “That will be quite a challenge,” he said.
“You must know by now that I enjoy a challenge as much as you do.” I snatched the blindfold from his hand, wrapping it around my eyes. I could see nothing aside from a sliver of light between my cheeks and the fabric. I began spinning and counting. When I reached ten, I ordered everyone to stop.
I now understood Luke’s apprehension to walk. Before putting on the blindfold, I had scanned the grass for any obstacles, but with my vision gone, I now imagined dozens of obstacles in my way. I outstretched my hands, turning to one side and walking in a straight line. A small giggle reached my ears, and it didn’t sound very distant. If my estimation was correct, one of the girls was less than ten feet away.
I walked toward the sound, making each step exaggerated and intimidating. I could only imagine how ridiculous I appeared, but I did not care, as long as it made the giggles louder. I recognized the laughter to be Maryann’s, the distinct high-pitch giving it away.
I caught her by the shoulder, poking her sides and tickling her just as Luke had done. She squirmed, her laughter turning hysterical.
“Maryann!”
“How did you know?” she whined through her giggles.
Straining my ears, I listened for any other noises. I turned in the opposite direction and began walking, following the rustling sound of the trees. Someone had to have been hiding near them. My steps grew more tentative as I moved closer, careful not to trip on any roots as Luke had.
My ears piqued. The rustling was not just the leaves, but the shifting of feet on the dirt. The crack of a twig. My outstretched hands touched a tree, and I held onto it for stability, circling behind it. The trees were planted closely together, enough that I could navigate using the trunks. My confidence grew having something to hold onto, so I continued a bit faster. The sliver of light in my blindfold faded, indicating that I had walked deep into the shade of the woods. Who could have hidden this far away? I paused. Was that breathing? Yes, I was sure of it. I reached out my arm.
In a flash, a hand gripped my wrist, pulling me forward. I tugged my arm back, but the grip was unrelenting, dragging me along deeper into the trees. I stumbled blindly behind, pulling against the hand holding my wrist. “What are you doing?” I didn’t know who I was speaking to. All I knew was that this was not how the game was meant to be played.
“Hush.” The sharp, raspy whisper made me stop struggling. Based on the voice and height, I could only guess one person.
“Betsey?”
“Yes.” She released my wrist. “I have lived my entire life praying, wishing for a life like you have.” Her words came quick, dripping in bitterness. “My brother is going to marry your elder sister. If he doesn’t, I will not have Brookhaven. I will not have elegant dresses and invitations and handsome suitors. I will never get to attend the Season.” She took my wrist in her grip again. “Stay away from him.”
My mind raced and I jerked my hand away. “I see that he has told you about my attempts to sabotage the match, but that is no longer my aim.”
“I’m afraid you do not catch my meaning,” she whispered. “Whether it is your aim or not, he appears to be forming an attachment to you. I have not seen him smile so much in years than he has this evening with you, nor have I heard him speak so often of a lady. You may very well be the thing that keeps him from carrying out the marriage to your sister—that keeps me from the life I have always wanted.”
Realization crept up my spine, causing my heart to thud sporadically.
“Brookhaven can belong to all of us. It pains me to see my brother’s decision made more difficult by your involvement in his affairs. I do not want his feelings for you to interfere with his courtship with your sister. I will not see this opportunity torn away from me.” She took both my wrists in her hands, but I didn’t struggle, didn’t pull away. My entire being felt suddenly hollow and weak. “If you stay away from Luke, perhaps you and I may be friends after all.” Her voice chilled me to my bones. Her fingers, still slightly wrinkled from washing the dishes, loosened on my wrists. I was glad I couldn’t see her face, for surely the desperation in her eyes was frightening.
I swallowed against my dry throat, stepping away. “I’m afraid you too did not catch my meaning,” I said, my voice firm. “I fully understand all that rests on your brother’s marriage to my sister. I intend to aid the success of the match in any way I can. He will marry Juliana, and you will have Brookhaven.” Even as I said the words, my heart stung.
A voice called my name from the Pembroke property, quiet and distant, making me realize just how far Betsey had pulled me into the woods.
“That was Rose,” Betsey said. You ought to go find her.”
Betsey took my arm and guided me closer to the edge of the woods before letting me go.
“Miss Elizabeth found me!” she said, her voice deceptively light.
I did not want to play anymore. I wanted to tear the blindfold off and go home. My stomach lurched and twisted with dread. Betsey’s words had struck me deeply enough to leave a permanent mark. It had been a mistake promising Luke assistance in his courtship with Juliana. I was setting myself up for a broken heart. Could it be true—could he be feeling the same things for me that I felt toward him? I had not fully realized until that night the impact he had made on my heart, but I was aware, too aware of it now. With that awareness came pain, crashing down on my chest like a physical blow. Betsey was right. I needed to stay away from him.
There was nothing I could do to stop it, nor could I change it. Luke was impressed on my heart, and I could not hide that truth from myself any longer.
I loved him.
I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed a hand to my chest, fighting the tears that gathered under my eyelids. How had I not seen this coming? How had I been so foolish, growing so close to him when he could never be mine? If I had fully understood my feelings, I might have acted differently.
But love, much like death, did not always give the courtesy of a warning.
My breaths came quickly, even as tears burned on the corners of my eyes, still hidden behind the blindfold.
I would weather the repercussions of heartbreak as well as I could. I would let him go, no matter how much it hurt. I would smile for him and Juliana, for all his sisters, and for Martha.
I would pretend I didn’t wish Aunt Augusta had intended Luke for me instead.
Only now did I fully understand the measure of Juliana’s sacrifice. Did she love Gilbert this much? Never had I ad
mired her strength and selflessness more than I did now. It would take all I had to follow her example. The future success and lives of Martha, Betsey, Charlotte, Rose, and Maryann far outweighed my own desires. It was no question. Luke understood that too, so there was no sense in dwelling on things I could not change.
I tore the blindfold off, my gaze jumping to Martha before I could see Luke. She was hiding near the house. Rose and Charlotte stared at me from their places on the grass. “Are you cheating?” Maryann asked.
I shook my head, placing my hand against it. “I do not feel well.” It was only half false. I needed to go home, and feigning illness was the quickest route.
To my chagrin, I seemed to have forgotten that Luke was both chivalrous and a physician. He strode to my side without a moment of hesitation, offering his arm. “You are quite pale. Do you need to lay down inside before taking your journey home? Betsey, please fetch Miss Elizabeth a cup of water.”
I avoided his eyes, keeping my touch light on his arm. “No, thank you, I am well enough to ride. Brookhaven is not far.”
I could feel his concerned gaze on my face, but I didn’t dare look up.
Martha crossed the grass to my side, walking beside us until we reached the carriage around the side of the house. All four of Luke’s sister’s followed.
Luke handed me into the carriage, and I thanked him in a curt voice. His features were creased with worry as he looked down at me.
“It was a pleasure to meet all of you,” I said, forcing a smile for the sakes of Maryann, Rose, and Charlotte. Betsey stood far behind, arms crossed, eyes hard.
I closed the carriage door before Luke could say goodbye.
Chapter 19
My grip on my teacup was dangerously tight—I could have shattered it if Charity had not brought it to my attention. I set it down on the tray, letting the tenseness in my shoulders relax, urging my heart to be still. To be calm. To stop hurting.
“Did you sleep well?” I asked.
Charity had been staring at me with suspicion the entire time I had been in the drawing room of Oakley Manor. I was beginning to understand how she must have felt every time she stepped out in public.
“Yes,” she said. “But I am quite troubled that you will not tell me what is the matter.” She arched a dark eyebrow, her hazel eyes boring straight through me. It was a tactic she had surely learned from her physician.
I sighed. There was no sense hiding anything from her. She would pry it out of me one way or another. Ever since I had been made aware of my feelings toward Luke three days before, I had made sure to visit Charity each time he was expected to pay a visit to Juliana. I could no longer interfere.
“I have gotten myself into a terrible plight.”
“Another one?”
I pressed my lips together, nodding slowly.
“What is this plight?”
I opened my mouth to speak before fear struck me. I could not say it aloud. I could not tell her that I had fallen in love with my sister’s suitor. I did not want it to be true, and it was a secret better kept than shared, even from a close friend. The more I acknowledged my feelings, the more real they became.
I searched for a response that would spare me from lying. I did get myself into many plights, so there were several to choose from. I did not have to share the greatest one of all. “I have agreed to help Dr. Pembroke romance my sister.”
Charity covered her mouth as a giggle escaped her. “What an interesting endeavor.”
“It has been quite difficult if you could imagine. He rarely smiles around her, and his compliments are rather ridiculous.”
Charity’s giggling continued and she sat forward, appearing to have more energy than she had had in days. She had assured me that her stomach pains had been minor that day, so I could credit that for her intense excitement. “I cannot imagine him being romantic in any way. That is very brave of you to take on that task.” Her expression shifted to a more serious one. “Do be careful, dear Eliza. I should hate for your reputation to be hurt if you are seen alone with him. Where do you have these… lessons?”
“Oh, it has not been happening for long. We simply converse over the subject on Brookhaven’s property, never far from the presence of my younger sister.”
Charity appeared content with that, her head tipping to the side, releasing one dark curl from her cap. “I expect you are a very adept teacher.”
“Thank you. I don’t believe he thinks so.”
She laughed. “He performs his duty well, I imagine, but that is all it is: a duty. He may not act like a romantic, but I think he always has preferred the notion of marrying for love. His devotion to his family prevents it. Nevertheless, Juliana will be a wonderful match for him.”
“She will.” I had become quite skilled over the last three days in suppressing the grief that burned in my chest at every mention of him, and every memory of Betsey’s words, and every reminder that he was soon to be engaged to Juliana. My duty as her sister was to support her decision. I was devoted to my family too. I would keep my distance from Luke until he and Juliana married, and then I would somehow catch a husband that could take me away from those constant reminders, that constant pain of seeing Luke each day. That was my plan, and I could not stray from it.
“I am quite relieved that you will not be living with that dreadful Mr. Yeatman you told me about. I daresay any such association with him could destroy your chances at making a respectable match.” Her face turned sad for a moment, but her smile returned before I could question it. “Her reputation is all a lady has, after all. Her reputation and her ability to marry well.”
“Do not forget her kindness. Any lady can have that if she chooses, no matter if she is married or has a pristine reputation.” I offered Charity a warm smile. She was one of the kindest women of my acquaintance, yet society and her family had been so cruel to her. It wasn’t fair.
“And she may always have her violin.” Charity touched the neck of the instrument beside her lovingly before glancing up at me. “And her dear friends.”
I took a sip from my tea. I had let it go cold. I felt slightly guilty for withholding my secret from Charity, but it was for the best. I did not wish to burden her with my own cares. She had enough to contend with. “Indeed.”
I still had Charity, my sisters, wealth, and a reputation in tact. How greedy I was to think that I deserved the man I loved too. My bounty was plentiful compared to Charity’s and the Pembroke girls.’ I brought a smile to my face that I didn’t feel.
After spending much of the afternoon with Charity, I took my walk home. Juliana had recovered fully in the last three days, and was now back to assisting me in managing Brookhaven. I had suggested that she give Luke a full tour of the property, and she had heartily agreed. I supposed by now, with the sun fading below the clouds, he would have gone home to his sisters.
I walked around the back of the property, hoping to find Martha in the gardens. I had been neglecting her lately with all that had been troubling me. Spending the evening with her seemed like the perfect distraction.
I searched the gardens, finding them empty. I walked inside the back door, stopping when I heard Luke’s voice, growing louder along with clicking footfalls on the marble floor.
I had walked too far to retreat back outside in time.
My eyes caught on the nearby window, and the heavy velvet curtains that reached all the way to the floor. I leaped into action, slipping behind them, ensuring my entire body was covered. I quieted my breathing and pressed my back against the warm glass, holding perfectly still as Juliana’s voice joined Luke’s, loud enough to be just a few feet away from where I stood.
“I am sorry to have kept you here so long,” she said. “It is a very large house to see all in one day.”
“Do not apologize.” Luke’s voice sent another pang into my heart. I had not heard it in three days, and it felt much longer than that. “I am sure my sisters would like to come see Brookhaven as well, and meet you
.”
“Yes, I have been quite eager to meet them. Eliza says they are wonderful. Would you like to bring them tomorrow afternoon? We would love to receive them for tea.”
“They would be delighted.”
It was very hot with my back pressed against the warm glass of the window. I shifted slightly, making sure not to move the curtain.
“Oh, I forgot one thing that is very special about Brookhaven,” Juliana said. Her feet clicked closer to me. “The view from the back of the house is unmatched in all of Berkshire. Come, see. There is a unique quality to this vantage point when observing the hills and trees. The sun falls right between them, and it is truly a sight to behold.”
Juliana came into view from the side of my vision, standing close to the glass of the wide window. I held my breath. If she looked far enough to her left she would see me.
Luke came to stand beside her. As his gaze swept over the land beyond the window, he looked too far to the side. His eyes landed on me, rounding in shock. He quickly looked out the window again, the corners of his lips curling. Two creases appeared at the corner of his left eye as he tried not to smile.
I grew even hotter. I had never been more mortified. I slid farther away, tugging the curtains to cover my face and shoulder from the left side before Juliana could see me too.
“The quality of these curtains is remarkable,” Luke said, tugging on the fabric.
I squirmed, pulling a fistful away from his grasp. How was I going to explain why I was hiding? I wished I could jump out of the window and run away and never be forced to explain such a thing to a man who always knew when I was lying.
“Yes, Brookhaven was originally furnished with only the best fabrics and decorations,” Juliana said. “It is in need of updating, but I do enjoy the old-fashioned tastes of my great-aunt.”
“I think it looks perfect the way it is. I prefer old-fashioned decorating as well, although I must admit I have never been one to pay great attention to the furnishings of a room. I am more concerned with the company I am keeping and the quality of the conversations, as that is what will lead to my like or dislike of my surroundings. For instance, since I am here with you, I like this room very much. If there were mischief-makers hiding around every corner, I might not like it so much.” I could hear the amusement in his voice, even as subtle as it was.
An Unwelcome Suitor (Entangled Inheritance Book 4) Page 17