Anna looked around her dimly lit room.
“Who are you looking for?” asked Pemba. “Who tried to hurt you?”
Anna shook her head. “No one. I was angry, that’s all and then… my shelves fell down.” Anna looked at her wall. “Everything is back in place.”
“But who were you angry with?”
Anna began to tremble. “No one.”
“Anna, I already know Liv did something to you. But she wasn’t the one who triggered my shield. Who was it?”
“I can’t tell you that.” She threw herself into his arms. “If I tell you…” She screamed silently into his bare shoulder. Keeping secrets from him was killing her.
“What will happen?” he said, stroking her hair gently.
“My memory will be erased,” she said in a whisper. “And I don’t want that.” Panic welled up inside. Had she already said too much?
Pemba’s grip convulsed around her. “Don’t say anything. I’ll deal with it.” His voice was hard.
“No. Don’t. Please Pemba, I’m not hurt. I was just angry.”
“Did you accept this situation of your own free will?” His voice as calm and emotionless as Liv’s had been the other day.
Anna winced. “No. Yes. Sort of.”
“No one has the right to place that kind of trigger on you, Anna. No one. And even if you accepted, it was probably because you had no choice.”
“Promise me not to hurt anyone. Please,” she said, searching his eyes. They had an orange hue in the dim light of her room.
Pemba leaned his forehead against hers. “I can’t do that, Anna. I was brought up to protect my own. And I will.”
“No. You can’t hurt anyone because of me. I couldn’t live with that.” She wouldn’t let Pemba fight Red. Or Liv, even if she hated Liv for forcing her to lie to Pemba.
“None of this would have happened if we had never met.” Pemba walked to the window. “I shouldn’t have gotten close to you.” He pressed a hand to his temple. “I’m sorry.”
“No. Don’t say that,” she said, joining him at the window. “I’m glad we met. I want to be with you.” She wrapped her arms around him, but he disentangled himself and held her at arms length.
“No, Anna. You don’t. Or you wouldn’t if you knew.”
“If I knew what?”
“I’ll come if the shield is triggered,” he said abruptly. He walked out and shut the door.
“No,” Anna said, lunging for the doorknob. But he was already gone.
* * *
A week later, Rakan stood on the edge of the cliff overlooking the arid wasteland of western Tibet, his arms folded across his bare chest. “What else didn’t Yarlung tell me about the poison?”
T’eng Sten didn’t reply. His indigo overcoat snapped like a predator in the howling wind that had eroded the sandstone to the porous aspect of a giant natural sponge.
Rakan turned to face the Kairök, trying to suppress the anguish that he always felt when he saw the desolate ruins of what used to be the Guge Kingdom. They’d shift Dvara back to the safety of the Tromso lair soon. “Why did you remove her tattoos? Anyone can take her rök now.” Rakan knew T’eng Sten well enough now to know that he wouldn’t have exposed Dvara to a much greater danger than being bound to Khotan, if there wasn’t a good reason. No matter what he thought of the Kairök, T’eng Sten’s feelings for Dvara were real.
T’eng Sten held Rakan’s unflinching gaze. “Kraal’s neutralized poison can revert to its original state.”
“That’s not possible,” Rakan said flatly. “It would mean death. A long and painful death. Yarlung would never take that risk.”
“It only happens when you go against the binder’s will, in equal measure to the transgression.” T’eng Sten looked back at the plateau. “Ask Dvara if you don’t believe me. Khotan warned her before marking her.”
The wind whipped through the crumbling ruins, echoing the desperate cries of the slain, forever reminding Rakan of one of the bloodiest mistakes of his youth. He dug his fingers into his biceps and forced himself to maintain control. His control wavered. He clenched his jaw and fought to stand still.
“Stop blocking it,” T’eng Sten said. “Morph.”
Rakan threw himself off the cliff. He stretched and thickened in the late afternoon sun. His coral-colored wings glinted as they unfurled. His blood curdling howl reverberated through the ruins and shook the rock beneath T’eng Sten’s feet. If Yarlung decided they should kill June, whether Rakan thought she was Paaliaq or not, he’d have no choice.
Or die of the poison that he carried around like a death trigger.
Chapter 18
Worlds Apart
RAKAN LOOKED OUT THE WINDOW FROM his favorite perch. The town was still the same mass of interlocking trails. But his inner turmoil was no longer appeased by it.
“You should go to school,” Dvara said. “I’ll be fine.”
Rakan watched the fluctuating trails without really seeing them. He needed to see June. He’d have to force a conversation with her even if she didn’t trust him. The nausea that he now recognized as the poison had increased its hold on him. At first it had only been after a major exertion but now it was a constant ache in his gut. Whether Yarlung realized it or not, he was going further against her will every day.
Dvara nudged him. “You okay?”
Rakan nodded. He hadn’t told T’eng Sten or Dvara about the poison that was being slowly released into his veins. “Do you know what T’eng Sten is planning?”
“No.” She turned and blocked herself off, but Rakan could still feel her anger. “He won’t tell me. He says the less I know the better.”
Rakan nodded. T’eng Sten wouldn’t involve her until she was free of Yarlung. He couldn’t. But he wished he knew what the Kairök thought about June. Rakan followed the trails idly until he found himself about to touch Anna. He pulled back. He had already brought her into too much trouble. He wouldn’t expose her to more.
* * *
Anna had woken up at 4:30 and hadn’t been able to fall back asleep. From her bedroom window, she had watched the sky above the twinkling fjord change from black to the intense cobalt blue of the pre-sunrise arctic. Pemba had come back three days ago. And she still hadn’t seen him. The sun hovered below the horizon, and the snow reflected the pale green light of pre-dawn.
The green-black water of the fjord flowed like a snake, quietly oblivious to everyone’s problems. The sky went from green to pink, heralding the coming of the sun. Anna got dressed and wandered down to the docks. The gentle clanging of the sailboats made her feel less alone.
The town began to wake up and Anna headed up the hill. Students were buzzing expectantly around the schoolyard. “Hey,” June said when Anna walked over to join her friends. “You okay?”
“Where are your skis?” asked Lysa. “Did you forget that it’s our last ski day?”
Anna glanced at her watch. She’d just have time to run home, get changed and grab her stuff. How could she have forgotten?
“Sverd can drive you – it’ll be quicker,” said Erling.
“I can run.” She didn’t want to be alone with Sverd. He reminded her too much of a hitman. “Aren’t you guys skiing today too?” Erling was dressed normally, as were the twins.
“No. The music majors have rehearsal today.” He scowled in June’s direction. “But I’d rather go skiing.”
“I’ll be fine,” said June. She hooked her arm through Anna’s and steered her towards the car. “He’s so over-protective. It drives me nuts. I’ll come with you.”
“June—” Erling called after them.
“What? I’ll be back in a few minutes. I need a little girl time.” June tossed her long black hair over her shoulder and peered at Anna. “You don’t look so good. What’s up?”
“Nothing really… it’s just…”
“Pemba?”
Anna nodded. “I haven’t seen him since he came back. And his phone is off all the time. I haven’
t even talked to him.” The words came tumbling out as they got in the back of Sverd’s black 4X4. Anna felt the pressure that had been weighing on her lift.
“He’s going through a lot right now,” June said. “He seems pretty confused.”
“But why won’t he talk to me? Why doesn’t he even call?”
“He just needs time.”
They pulled up to Anna’s house.
“You know what’s wrong?” asked Anna.
June got out of the car, but didn’t reply.
“Did he tell you?” Anna insisted, opening the door. She led June up the stairs.
“No,” June said, shaking her head. “Not in so many words.”
They took off their boots and walked into the kitchen. Ulf and Ingrid were having coffee. “I’ll be right back,” Anna said, running up the stairs two at a time. June chatted away with Ingrid, and Anna felt annoyed. How could June know more about what was going on with Pemba than she did? Had June seen him even though he hadn’t come to school? She shook the thought away and changed into her ski clothes. Erling’s jealousy was rubbing off on her. There was no reason to distrust June. She and Pemba were classmates. It wouldn’t be unusual for her to have spoken with him.
* * *
Rakan got out of the school bus and breathed in the smell of the slightly damp snow that covered the mountain. It was just below freezing. The snow would clump and freeze instead of allowing the skis to glide. His mind-touch slipped into the mountain, feeling the earth’s increasing impatience to quicken in response to the spring equinox that had just passed. Everywhere around them the Lyngen Alps were just beginning to open up. He ached to spread his wings and fly in magnificent arabesques, echoing the earth’s slow awakening. June shimmered with excitement. He smiled to himself. He was sure he’d finally get her alone when they both sought freedom from the constraints of being with the humans.
Rakan stepped into his cross country skis. He skated over to the teacher who was explaining which trails they were supposed to follow. But first they were to do a warm-up circuit so he could match them up with a skiing partner. Rakan grumbled at the restrictions being imposed on them and skied up to the front.
The teacher stepped to the side. “Go ahead,” he said.
Rakan took off. He tried not to go too fast. But his mind-touch instinctively smoothed the way, and he reveled in the feeling of the snow gliding under him.
He waited back at the bus until June finally glided in with the teacher. Her movements were fluid and elegant. She caught him watching her and skated over to him. He could feel her rök pounding like a gong. “Partner?” she asked. “At least we’ll be able to ski that way.”
June’s rök vibrated with such intensity that he wondered how humans didn’t feel it. He smiled. “Race?”
June laughed. “You bet. Once we get out far enough.”
Rakan could feel her rök spinning in anticipation. She wanted to race, and win, as much as he did. And he couldn’t wait.
June skated back to the teacher. “Can we start?” She waved at Rakan. “We’ll go together.”
“Sure, you seem well matched. Do you know the trail though?”
“No problem.” June adjusted her backpack and turned to Rakan. “Let’s go!” She hit an easy stride and Rakan followed, looking for a chance to take off. He let his mind enter the ground and run ahead. June joined him and motioned for him to follow her on an off-trail. When they came out of the valley, she stopped. “Race to the top?”
The peak towered above them and Rakan’s rök expanded. “With or without skis?”
June considered. “Without.” She kicked off her skis and stuck them in the snow. “Ready?” She dropped her backpack.
For a split second Rakan thought he saw June’s eyes flash green. Paaliaq’s green. She took off, but he hesitated. Was it a trap? But the urge to race was too strong. He transformed his human clothes back to his dragon pants and raced after her, feeling his way up the mountain that vibrated under his touch.
The closer he got to June, the faster she went, until they were nearly shifting up the mountain. The ground beneath them felt like a mass of viscous fluid, and it responded to their energy with its own. Rakan focused on the peak, willing himself to get their first. He reached out and felt June when he caught up to her. She didn’t push him away. She laughed and took off faster, her energy shimmering with the thrill of the race. Rakan scrambled to keep up, blocking the mind-touch as a wave of nausea slowed him down. He focused on the mountain that urged him forward, until he could no longer tell where he ended and the mountain began. He glided up the rock and snow that melded to greet him. Just as he reached the top, June tackled him.
“No,” she yelled, pushing him out of the way and jumping over him. “I’m first!”
Rakan didn’t even think. He pounced on her and they tumbled to the snow in a wrestling match. June was stronger than Dvara, but not as strong as he was. And, like Dvara, she was more supple and twisted out of his grasp like a fish even with her stiff human clothes. She flipped him onto his back. Rakan lay still, his arms pinned above his head. Their röks hummed in pleasure and he gave up the fight.
“I won,” she said, grinning.
“Are you sure?” he asked playfully. He flickered on the edge of a morph.
“Yes,” she said, smelling his scent before letting go of his wrists. She sat up, her legs gripping his sides. “Because you’ve lost your contacts.”
Rakan laughed and flipped her over. She twisted out of his grip and straddled his back, pulling one of his arms out from under him. She lay on top of him and Rakan stretched his neck. He ached to have her bite it and mark him. His rök condensed into a ball of fire, ready to manifest. His energy hummed and crackled, surrounding him with scintillating orange sparks. June pulled back. “Pemba, are you okay? What’s happening?”
Rakan grunted in pain as he felt the black dragons attack his arms, burning him from within. “What are you doing?” screeched his mother. “You’re supposed to tempt her with your rök, not give it to her.”
“Pemba?” June put a hand on his face. “It’s poison, isn’t it? I recognize that pain.”
Rakan couldn’t respond. He clenched his jaws and wrapped his hands around his tattoos.
“Don’t be a fool, she’s not who you think she is,” snarled Yarlung. “Block her.”
“I’m trying,” he yelled. Under no circumstances would he allow June to enter his body with her mind while his mother was still there.
“Stop moving,” June said harshly. “I don’t know how to destroy it, but I can put it in suspension the way I did for Erling.”
“No.” Rakan twisted out from under her and broke the contact. “I’ll be fine.”
Rakan felt June’s mind-touch envelope him and even though he could feel her increasing irritation at not being allowed in, he maintained his shield until his mother’s presence receded. Limp with exhaustion, he dropped his arms and let her in. It was only after she had put the active poison into a state of suspension that he realized just how much the burning sensation had been gnawing away at him.
“Thank you,” he said, falling back, his arms spread eagle. He was giddy and light-headed. He was free of pain. Free of poison.
“Most of the poison is neutralized,” she said, sounding confused as she pulled her mind out of his body. “I couldn’t put it into suspension – it reacted… differently. Like it had a mind of its own.”
Rakan glanced in her direction. He had thought Kraal was the only dragon who knew how to manipulate active poison. “Did you say Erling had been poisoned?”
“I shouldn’t have said that,” June said, turning to face him. “You have to keep that to yourself. Okay? Erling will kill me if he finds out that I told you.”
“Who poisoned him?”
June looked away. “He’s dead now.”
Rakan felt her pain at the memory. The pain of having killed, not the pain of loss. “I know that pain.” He sat up and wrapped her in a wave o
f warmth.
June leaned into him, their shoulders touching. “Thanks,” she said. “It still hurts. Even if I would do it again.”
“Was it your first?”
June nodded. “I… don’t know what to think. I can’t even kill animals. It hurts too much. And yet… I didn’t hesitate when Fritjof…” June put her head in her hands, shaking at the memory. “I don’t want to be a monster.”
June’s energy pounded around them both with a strength unlike anything he had ever felt. Her anguish thrashed at him so violently that the only thing he could think of doing was to let his energy slide forward, merge with hers and hope it would be enough to enable her to bring it under control again. It was like trying to stop an earthquake.
When her pain finally ebbed to a dull throb, they lay back in the snow, exhausted. “Thanks,” she said. “I can’t always control my emotions.”
“They’re intense.”
“Yeah, I know. That’s why Erling is always worried.” June stared at the sky. “Sometimes he drives me crazy. So I block him out. Like I did today. But he hates it. He says that he wouldn’t be able to help me if…”
Rakan felt her pain quicken and he sent her a wave of warmth, holding her until she calmed down again. She rolled back onto her back, her eyes closed. Rakan sat up, examining the smooth lines of her almond-shaped face that was the epitome of dragon beauty. But her black hair was spread wildly on the snow, making her look more feral than beautiful. Rakan let his mind-touch slip forward gently. Beneath her tranquil surface she was a writhing mess. He could feel her rök’s energy, pulled now into a tight ball, but it didn’t feel right. A part was dying. “You need to morph.” Soon.
“No,” June said, sitting up in a movement of panic. “No. I don’t ever want to morph again. It scares me. I can’t control it. So we… we’re careful. We can’t even make love.”
“But he’s your mate. How can you not possess each other?”
June flushed bright red and turned away. “I can’t believe we’re talking about this.”
“I’m sorry,” Rakan said, his rök spinning wildly. He wanted to help her, to meld with her and link through their röks. Rakan groaned in pain as part of the neutralized poison began to transform into active poison. Rakan’s vision blurred and he wanted to lash out, destroy the mountain, take June’s rök or let her take his.
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