No, he stayed far enough away so she wouldn’t see him.
“Do you understand why you can’t keep yourself from going to her?”
“I’m a glutton for punishment.”
His mother frowned. “The Quickening, Bodaway. It is why you were drawn to her in the first place and why you hurt so much being separated.”
“She’s better off without me.”
“Is that what your nightly visits tell you?”
Someone knocked.
Bodie went to the front door. “Who is it?”
No one answered so Bodie peeked outside.
“We need to talk.” Arms crossed high on his chest, Rafe sat in one of the lawn chairs next to the camper.
“Are Ronni and Alex all right?” Even though he’d seen them tucked safe inside the house when he’d left, Bodie’s heart drummed a hard, panicked beat.
“No, they’re not all right!” The irritation in Rafe’s voice was as harsh as a slap on the face. “Put on a jacket, then get your feathered ass outside.”
Bodie turned around.
Standing behind him, his mother held out his sweatshirt. “Rafe asked me to call when I thought you might listen to what he has to say.”
“When I get done with him, you and I are going to have a conversation about going behind my back.”
Bodie pulled on the sweatshirt and stomped outside in his bare feet. The air was nippy but not cold enough for frostbite.
“Five minutes.” He plopped down in the chair across from Rafe.
At least three of those minutes passed without Rafe making a sound or looking at Bodie.
“If you aren’t going to say anything, I’m going inside.”
“I’m listening,” Rafe said.
“To what?”
“Your descent into madness.”
“I’m not insane. There’s a real monster inside me.”
“The monster is you.” Rafe finally met Bodie’s gaze. “The key is to accept that part of yourself and live peaceably with it.”
“Live peaceably?” Bodie’s voice trembled with incredulity. “I killed a man.”
“But you tried to save him first. Didn’t you.” It was more a statement than a question.
“How do you know that?” Bodie had tried to take the confrontation far enough away so that Ronni and Alex wouldn’t witness any violence.
“We all do what is in our nature. You’re a good man, Bodie. It’s not your fault if Jeb didn’t want you to save him.” Rafe shrugged. “But fighting to pigeonhole that primal part of yourself is what will drive you to the edge and try to push you off. I know, because I’ve been where you are. The difference is you have someone with experience to help you cope.”
Bodie stared at Rafe. “You became like Jeb?”
“I’m not like Jeb, so my beast isn’t like him either. Mine knows my values because he knows me.” Rafe leaned forward. “Keep fighting yourself and your beast will lose its connection to your humanity. That’s when you’ll truly become a monster.”
“So I’m supposed to give in and let this thing control me?”
“Control you, no. It wants to live in harmony but the turmoil inside you is disturbing its residence.” Rafe stood. “The key to sending the beast back to its cave is to make peace with what happened—you can’t change the outcome. And stop punishing Ronni for your own insecurities and guilt. She deserves better.”
Rafe walked to his vehicle. “You know where to find me.”
Sometime after Rafe left, Bodie went inside the camper. His outer body was numb from the chilly air, but his insides were numb from the truth of Rafe’s words.
“I want to show you something.” His mother removed a pink present tied with a frilly purple bow from the upper cabinet and laid it on the table.
“When did you get Willow a birthday present?”
“This is from Ronni.”
Bodie gingerly touched the wrapping paper and ribbon; his finger warmed at the thought that Ronni had touched it, too. “Clothes?”
“A transformation robe like the one Layla wore.” His mother touched his shoulder. “Ronni said Willow had showed her a picture one night when she couldn’t sleep.”
“Willow asked Ronni to make this?”
“She didn’t have to. A mother can sense what her child needs.” Mary kissed Bodie’s temple, then hobbled to the bedroom and closed the door.
Bodie didn’t think his heart could hurt any more than it had been. But to know that his daughter had confided a desire so personal and that Ronni had turned that desire into a reality despite how Bodie had treated her—a jagged breath tore from his chest.
Somehow, someway, he needed to put his family back together. He just hoped it wasn’t too late.
* * *
Jingle bells replaced the regular chimes over the door. Ronni glanced at the clock in the sewing room, ten fifty-five on the button. “I’ll be right out, Elliott.” She expected the faithful postal carrier had a handful of holiday cards to deliver.
Quickly, she finished marking the pattern on the fabric and put aside the tracing wheel. “I bet you’ll be glad when the holidays are over so that mailbag won’t feel like a millstone around your neck.”
She walked into the front of the store and saw Bodie lock the door and flip the Open sign to Closed. Her fake smile fell.
Yesterday, she’d dropped off Willow’s birthday present. She doubted Bodie’s sudden appearance was a coincidence.
“I got your mail.” Bodie held up a handful of cards but made no move toward her.
“Thanks.” Heart thundering in her throat, Ronni walked stiffly to the register, putting the counter between them. She couldn’t tell if the sigh echoing in the room was hers or his.
He strolled over and placed the mail on the counter. She didn’t reach for it. Instead, she folded her hands in front of her. “What brings you here?”
“There’s something I need to discuss with you.”
“Is Willow okay?” If anything happened to the girl, Ronni would be devastated.
“She’s fine, and excited by the present you brought by but my mother said she couldn’t open it until her birthday.”
“How is Mary?”
“She’s walking without the knee scooter. Still a little slow, but should be back to normal in a few weeks.”
“I’m glad to hear she’s better.” Ronni stopped herself from asking Bodie how he was doing. He looked tired, with half-moon shadows beneath his eyes; his uniform hung looser on his frame. “I’m really busy today so—” she took a deep breath “—what do you want to discuss?”
She wouldn’t be surprised if he told her to stay away from his family. And she would completely abide by his wishes. She’d done right by Willow; now there was no reason to cross paths with the Gryffon family again.
Except that her heart hurt so badly at the very thought of it. Nel had said to have faith but that was easier said than done when your faith kept getting shattered.
“Ronni.”
“I’m listening.” She looked at his chest rather than meet his gaze in case it still held the loathsome disgust she’d seen at their parting.
“Ronni, look at me.”
“Just say it,” she snapped. “Tell me to go to hell, to leave your family alone. Whatever it is, say it and leave.”
“I love you.”
Ronni’s ears rang. “Wh-what?”
“I love you, Veronika Lyles.”
“You love me?” Ronni’s voice was barely a whisper over the pounding of her heart.
“I do.” Bodie leaned across the counter, hooked his finger beneath her chin and tilted her head until Ronni looked at him. “I’m sorry for waiting so long to tell you.”
The leaden weight that had been sitting on her heart shattered. “Oh! Oh!” She stepped back, wa
ving a hand in front of her face. Still, tiny tears spilled from her eyes.
“Aww, baby.” He came behind the counter and folded his arms around her.
If Bodie thought that would stop her from crying, he was wrong. A trickle of tears became a stream. Cradling her head against his shoulder, he gently stroked her back. Heat spread beneath his palm, but it was the gentle caress of his essence entwining with hers that calmed her turbulent emotions and warmed her soul.
“Why don’t we sit down?” he said softly. “We have a lot to talk about.”
Ronni eased back. “Yes, we do.”
Taking his hand, she led him to a nook with a table and chairs. Bodie waited for her to sit, then he dragged over the other chair and sat in front of her, so close his knees grazed her legs. He leaned forward when he spoke.
“What I said after Jeb died was completely out of line and I’m sorry. It is not your fault he’s dead. I blamed you because my beast emerged when I thought I could lose you. I struggled to keep myself in check, and I didn’t intend to kill Jeb when I picked him up and flew away. I was only trying to protect you and Alex.
“But Jeb was unreasonable, lashing out at me midflight. I tried not to drop him. All he was focused on was destroying me because I stood between him and what he wanted.” Bodie’s gaze dropped. “I don’t want to become like him.”
“You’re a good man, Bodaway Gryffon.” Ronni reached for his hand. “You’ll never be like Jeb.”
“Alex isn’t so sure.”
“He’s hurting and angry.”
“What about you?”
Ronni walked to the storefront window. Wrapping her arms around her waist, she watched children playing in the town’s park. “I never used you to get rid of Jeb. I wished him dead, hit by a bus or something. But I never entertained the thought of you killing him. And I’m sorry it happened that way.”
“So am I.” Bodie stepped behind her, encircling her in his arms. “But it’s over and done. And I really don’t want to lose you and Alex over him. Do you think it’s possible to put our family back together?”
“We were happy, you know. Happier than we had been in a long time.”
“Us, too.” Bodie pressed his face against her hair; his breath tickled the shell of her ear. “I need you to know that even if you weren’t Co-op, I would’ve chosen you.”
A rush of his warm, masculine energy swept her being and joy filled her heart to near bursting. She closed her eyes, allowing her love to flow back to him.
“And I’m sorry for making you feel like the only reason I wanted you was for access to the wolf sanctuary.”
“Well,” she said, turning to face him and palming the hard muscles of his chest. “It is a really nice one. I can see why you were tempted by it.”
Bodie kissed her sweetly. “The only thing I was ever tempted by was you.”
Chapter 34
Butterflies fluttered in Bodie’s stomach. It was hard to believe that sixteen years ago, on Christmas Eve, he’d held a tiny bundle of joy in his hands for the very first time. Now she was a beautiful young lady about to stretch her arms and receive her raven wings.
Ronni finished tying Willow’s cloak.
“Turn around so I can see,” his mother called from her seat on a nearby log.
Willow spun and the cape twirled with her. “It’s perfect. Thank you, Ronni.”
“You’re welcome, hon.” Ronni hugged her, tightly. “Happy birthday.”
“It’s the best one.” Willow flitted about and Alex snapped pictures on his phone. He seemed okay with them moving in again, but when Bodie was alone with him, he sensed a subtle tension. A lot of work was needed to rebuild the bridge between them and Bodie intended to do whatever it took.
He checked his watch. The seconds were counting down to the exact time of her birth, the earliest moment she could safely transform.
“All right, Willow. Pick your spot.”
She looked around the small clearing and chose a place where a single sunbeam streamed through the towering trees. “Come stand by me, Enisi.”
“Don’t lose your feathers, I’m coming.” Although Mary was now allowed to bear weight on her foot, Bodie helped her along the uneven terrain. Once she was in the “perfect” spot, according to Willow, he joined Ronni and Alex off to the side.
Standing behind Ronni, he wrapped his arms around her, soaking in her warmth and the fresh, feminine scent of her skin. She leaned comfortably against him and he closed his eyes, hoping she sensed the absolute sincerity of his very grateful heart.
Forgiveness had come easily. Proving she could trust him again with her heart would take time. But he was a determined man, invested for the long haul.
“Dad, is it time?” Willow looked over at him.
Bodie checked his watch. “Almost.”
He didn’t realize his hands were shaking until Ronni covered them with hers. “Were you nervous during Alex’s first shift?”
“Yes, and I am now. It’s the good kind of nerves, though.” Ronni glanced over her shoulder at him. “She’s going to be fine.” A sweet, gentle spirit filled him and he relaxed in the ebb and flow of Ronni’s essence mingling with his.
When Bodie had confessed his love, Ronni did not say it back to him. Nor had she in the time since. Although it would be nice to hear the words on her lips, he saw her love in every look she gave him. Felt the depth of it in every touch. And recognized the power of it in every kindness she showered on his daughter and mother. So even if she couldn’t say the words out loud, every little thing she did shouted how much she loved him.
His watch beeped.
Ronni held her breath. Alex had his phone’s camera ready. Bodie’s mother, wearing an old housecoat, opened her arms and began chanting.
“I should’ve made her a cloak, too,” Ronni whispered.
Heart pumping happily along, he kissed Ronni’s temple without taking his eyes off Willow. Following her grandmother’s instructions, Willow lifted her arms. The black cloak stretched across her shoulders like beautiful wings.
His mother fell silent, then poof. The housecoat turned to dust and she hopped around on the ground, flapping her wings, but Willow simply stood there with her outstretched arms shaking.
“Why didn’t she shift?” Ronni asked him.
Bodie shrugged. He walked over to Willow. “Sweetheart, are you okay?”
Tears trickled down his daughter’s face.
Bodie hugged her. “It’s okay to take your time. There’s no rush.”
His mother squawked and clucked.
“Mom, you’re not helping,” Bodie said.
Ronni joined them. “Hon, would it help if your dad shifted with you?”
“It’s supposed to be my mom.” Willow sniffed. “Dads shift with the boys.”
“Alex, turn around,” Ronni instructed.
“Why?”
“Because I’m going to help her shift.”
“Really?” The tears stopped leaking from Willow’s eyes.
“Yes, I am.”
Alex’s eyes widened and he quickly turned his back to them.
Returning his gaze to Ronni, Bodie understood why. No son wanted to watch his mother shimmying out of her clothes. Bodie closed his eyes. Seeing Ronni naked made him hot and hard and Neanderthalic. And all of that would have to wait until later.
“You can look now.”
He opened one eyelid just a crack to be sure. She had squatted on the ground next to Willow, one leg tucked beneath her, the other knee bent in front and her arms shielding her chest.
Bodie quickly focused on Willow because the woman he considered his mate was sitting naked in front of him and the creamy, smooth expanse of her back and the curve of her hips were much too tempting.
“Willow, just close your eyes and breathe.” Ronni took her hand. �
��In and out. In and out.”
Bodie found himself following along.
“Feel the sunshine on your skin.” Ronni’s voice softened. “The air sifting through your hair. Now feel the energy inside you. It’s in every cell. You don’t have to force it to come—it’s already there.”
Bodie noticed a subtle change in Willow’s demeanor. A confidence that had been missing during her earlier attempt.
“When you’re ready, lift your arms and we’ll count down from three.”
Ronni didn’t let go of Willow’s hand until she began to raise her arms. Bodie’s breath stilled and he willed his heart to thump quietly.
“Three,” Ronni said. “Two.” She placed both hands on the ground in front of her. “One.”
His daughter disappeared and her cloak floated down to the ground next to Ronni’s wolf.
“Willow!” Bodie’s heart dropped into his stomach. The robe should’ve disintegrated, not his daughter.
Before he took more than one giant step toward them, Ronni’s wolf grabbed the cloak in her teeth and pulled it back, uncovering a beautiful little raven dancing around on wobbly legs.
“So cool!” Alex shouted, hurrying over with his phone’s camera set to record. “Bodie, you should’ve seen your face when Willow disappeared. Classic!”
Ronni touched her nose to Willow and gently licked her face. Willow’s first caw was one of the most beautiful sounds Bodie had ever heard. Pride in his daughter nearly split him in two.
His mother hopped next to Willow, instructing her how to use her wings. It would be a few weeks before she could actually fly.
Alex, after shifting into his wolf form, loped over to her. After a few gentle nudges and playful barks, he lay down and put his chin on the ground.
Willow jumped onto his nose and strutted up his snout. In her attempt to get to the top of his head, her spindly toes slipped, scrunching his eyebrows.
Laughing, Bodie snapped a picture using his phone. “Classic!” he called out to Alex.
So much pride and joy swelled in Bodie’s heart, watching his blended family celebrate Willow’s special day. He was especially touched by Ronni’s thoughtfulness and encouragement when Willow needed her.
He looked at Ronni, her reddish-gold fur slightly fluffed to keep her warm in the cool temperature. Daily he promised to love and cherish her every day for the rest of his life.
Captivated by the She-Wolf Page 27