by Rachel Ryan
There was a teenage girl in the next photo, standing beside Jimmy. Georgina didn’t recognize her. She was boyishly skinny, with short black hair and freckles.
Georgina put that photo down and picked up another.
The black-haired girl was in this one too. Just her and Jimmy, side by side. Georgina guessed their ages at around sixteen. The girl was wearing a checked dress. Georgina wondered who she was. A relative? A neighbor?
She continued sifting through the photos. There was a hilarious one of her uncle Billy as a baby—he had the huge ears even then—which made her laugh aloud. She snapped a photo of it on her phone to send to Bren.
And there were several more of Jimmy with the skinny black-haired girl. In one, she was smiling, revealing teeth that would have braces snapped onto them straightaway by any parent nowadays. Despite this, Georgina thought she had a certain prettiness, with her deep dimples and mischievous grin.
There were some later photos too. Jimmy, Billy, and a wide and varied cast of family members. Georgina noticed that the girl with the black hair didn’t feature in any of those.
She slipped the photo of her parents on their wedding day into her purse. After a moment’s thought, she also took one of Jimmy and the black-haired girl, making a mental note to ask him who she was.
Then she tidied away the rest of the pictures, replaced the box, and put the books back on the shelf.
* * *
When she arrived at the hospital, Jimmy was asleep.
Georgina left the bag of clothes in his wardrobe, placed the paperback book on his bedside table, and arranged some flowers she’d bought in the gift shop by his bed. She propped the photo of Jimmy and Rose on their wedding day against the vase. After a moment’s thought, she placed the photo of Jimmy and the black-haired girl there too. She would ask him about it next time.
“Love you, Dad,” she whispered, kissing him feather-light on the forehead before she left. He didn’t stir.
* * *
Back at the house, Georgina, Cody, and Bren were still sleeping in one bed in Georgina’s old bedroom. This wasn’t the most comfortable arrangement: it got too warm, and Cody kicked in his sleep. But after everything that had happened over the past few days, Georgina was grateful to fall asleep with her husband and son within arm’s reach. At least they had this place of refuge, somewhere they could be safe.
Chapter 34
If they were going to be staying at her father’s a while longer, they needed more clothes. The next day, Georgina pulled into the driveway of her own small red-brick house.
“Why are we here?” Cody wanted to know.
“Just to collect some things.”
She watched him closely. Did being here remind him of New Granny? But his attention was already turning back to the book he was reading.
“Can I stay in the car, Mom?”
“I’d rather you didn’t.”
“Please?”
“Okay, okay.” She’d be in and out faster without him.
On the doorstep, she paused and looked around the street. At Cody reading in the car, at Vera’s neat lawn and Anthony’s overgrown one, at the Brazilian couple leaving number 24 hand in hand.
All familiar. All quiet.
Once upstairs, she packed quickly, glancing out the window often to reassure herself that Cody was still safe in the car. She’d rather not linger here.
She tossed some socks and pajamas into the suitcase. What about her laptop, textbooks? After a pause, she packed them. She should take them, even though college work had been at the bottom of her priority list these last few days. Classes had started again last week, but with everything that had been going on, Georgina hadn’t made it to a single one.
Downstairs, she turned on the alarm and went out to the front garden.
The car door was open. The back seat was empty.
“Cody?” Georgina looked around wildly. For one heart-stopping moment, he was nowhere to be seen.
Then she spotted him in the next garden. Talking to Vera.
“Cody!” She slammed the car door shut and went striding over the wall to join them. “I told you to stay in the car.”
“Ah, hiya, Georgina.” Vera smiled at her, all permed curls and round glasses. “Nothing to worry about. He was right here with me.”
Vera’s front door was open. A warm smell of baking wafted out.
“Can we go in for a scone?” Cody asked Georgina.
“Not today, sweetie. We’ve got to visit Granddad in hospital.”
“Oh, come on in for a minute, Georgina,” said Vera. “I have something for you.”
“For me?”
Vera, already on her way inside, didn’t hear. Cody was close behind.
With a sigh, Georgina followed, glancing at her watch.
Vera’s house felt stuffy, overly warm. In the narrow hallway, Georgina shrugged off her coat, looking at the photos of little Sean, Vera’s grandson. Sean as a newborn. Sean on his first birthday. Sean just months ago, big for his age, beaming, right before his parents took him away to Australia.
“Will you have a scone, Georgina?” Vera called from the kitchen.
“No, thank you.” Georgina followed them down the narrow hall. Cody was already at the kitchen table, stuffing a scone into his mouth, crumbs and jam on his face. Every surface was covered in knickknacks, ornaments, doilies. The tea cozy was a knitted owl that reminded Georgina irresistibly of Vera herself.
“Take some for your dad, then,” said Vera. “How’s he doing?”
“Better, thanks,” said Georgina. “Actually, we can’t stay long. We’ve got to go see him.”
“Of course.” Vera put some scones into an old biscuit tin and closed the lid. “Just come into the front room with me a minute. I’ve something for you.”
“Okay.” Georgina surreptitiously checked her watch again. Cody stayed in the kitchen, eating his jam and scone with great concentration, as Vera led Georgina into the front room.
Vera’s sitting room was faintly musty. The net curtains kept most of the sunlight out, making the room feel stale somehow. Vera was fiddling with a box, muttering, “I’m sure it’s in here somewhere.”
“What is it?” Georgina asked.
Vera didn’t answer. Georgina turned to look at yet another photo of baby Sean on the wall, with his mother, Lorraine. Despite her impatience to get going, she felt a stab of sympathy for Vera, clear and sharp. Her only child and grandchild, gone, half a world away.
There was a noise behind her.
“Vera?”
Georgina turned around. Vera was standing there, holding out a cozy home-knitted sweater.
“I’ve been knitting loads lately,” she said, “but I’ve nobody to give my stuff to. I used to always knit things for Lorraine, and I still knit in her size, without thinking. You’re about the same size, aren’t you? Would you wear this?”
Georgina was about the same size as Vera’s daughter, but she’d never be caught wearing this misshapen sweater in public. Still, she thought, looking at Vera’s round, friendly face, she could always wear it at home.
“Thanks, Vera,” she said, taking it from her. “I’ll definitely get some use out of it.”
Vera beamed. Georgina gestured towards the photo of Lorraine and baby Sean.
“You must really miss them.”
Vera turned to look at the photo too. She was silent for a moment. Then she turned back to Georgina.
“Do you want to know something I haven’t told anyone?”
Georgina hesitated. The air in the room was thick, too warm. She felt a sudden pulse of anxiety. What was Vera about to tell her?
“Okay,” she said uncertainly.
Vera’s back was to the window, her face in shadow.
“I don’t really miss them at all,” she said.
Georgina stood still, the knitted sweater in her hands. She had no idea how to respond. What on earth did Vera mean by that?
There was a long pause. Dust motes floated
in a thin beam of afternoon sun. For a moment, Vera seemed as if she was about to say something else—
Then Cody came barging into the room.
“Can I watch TV?” He licked jam from the corners of his mouth.
“No. We’re going now,” Georgina said firmly, taking a step back. “Thanks for the sweater and the scones, Vera. We’ve got to get to the hospital.”
“Come back soon,” Vera said, waving as they left.
As they got into the car, Georgina pondered Vera’s words. I don’t really miss them at all… What a strange thing to say. She climbed into the driver’s seat and looked back at Cody. “Got your seat belt on, kiddo?”
“Yep.”
She placed the tin of scones on the passenger seat and put her phone to her ear to call her father. Jimmy answered on the third ring. “Hello?”
“Hi, Dad. Cody and I are on our way over to the hospital now. Can we bring you anything?”
“What?” Jimmy sounded flustered. “Listen, don’t bother coming over now, Georgina. It’s not a good time.”
Georgina frowned. It sounded like he was outside. Was that singing in the background? Cheering?
“Where are you? That doesn’t sound like—”
Jimmy spoke over her. “What do you want, Georgina?”
His tone was uncharacteristically curt, and Georgina, confused, said, “I called to ask if you wanted me to bring you anything. And if you got the things I left for you last time—the flowers, the photos—”
And then Jimmy shouted at her. A real, angry shout.
“You left those photos there?”
Georgina flinched and held the phone away from her ear. Jimmy never yelled at her. “Dad? I’m sorry if I upset you…”
“How dare you go through my private things!” Jimmy bellowed. Georgina, holding the phone at a distance, could hear every word. Cody was watching in alarm. “How dare you! Learn to mind your own business—”
Georgina’s eyes blurred with tears. “I’m sorry! Dad, I didn’t mean—”
“Don’t come to visit me today.” Jimmy was no longer shouting, but his tone was harsh. “I need to be by myself.”
She heard, again, the sound of a rowdy crowd in the background. That definitely wasn’t the hospital. “But, Dad, where are you?”
He hung up.
Chapter 35
After Jimmy hung up, Georgina sat in the car, stunned, tears wet on her cheeks. What had just happened?
“Is Granddad angry, Mom?”
“Yes, sweetie.” But why? She tried calling again, but Jimmy had turned his phone off.
“Mom?”
“One moment, darling.”
The knot in her stomach tightening further, she called the hospital. The nurse who answered was sympathetic and perhaps more forthcoming with details than was strictly allowed.
“Your father checked himself out against our advice. The doctor told him—I told him—but he wouldn’t listen. He seemed,” she went on gently, “quite agitated.”
“Do you know why?”
“I’m afraid not. I just know that he was determined he wouldn’t stay in the hospital a moment longer.”
Georgina thanked her and hung up. What had she done wrong? Why had Jimmy shouted at her like that?
Cody reached forward from the back seat and put a small hand on her shoulder.
“He won’t stay angry, Mom. Just say sorry loads of times. If you say it enough, it works. That’s what I do when you’re angry at me.”
Georgina made a sound that was half laugh, half sob. “Oh, is that your strategy, kiddo? I’ve got you sussed out now.”
But her hand found Cody’s and squeezed it tight.
* * *
“Let’s go over it again,” said Bren. “He was angry at you for going through his stuff?”
It was the evening, and they were in Jimmy’s front room. Georgina kept expecting him to arrive home. She stood by the window, looking down the long garden towards the street, watching cars pass by.
She nodded. “Even though he’d asked me to go through his stuff. It doesn’t make sense.”
“It’s not like Jimmy at all,” Bren agreed. “D’you think the heart attack could be affecting his behavior?”
“I thought it was strokes that did that. But maybe… He didn’t sound like himself at all. The nurse used the word ‘agitated.’ ”
“Maybe it’s his medication.”
Georgina felt a pang of fear at the thought of Jimmy out there somewhere, alone, confused…
“Where do you think he is tonight? A hotel? He doesn’t even have his car.”
“I’m sure he’s okay,” said Bren gently.
“You don’t know that.” She thought back to her father’s words. What was it exactly he had said? Mind your own business…
“It must have been the photos that got him so upset,” she said. “Maybe they brought back bad memories.”
“Thought you said they were just family photos? Him and Rose at their wedding?”
“And one of him with this girl I’ve never seen before… Wait there.”
Georgina hurried upstairs. She returned with a sepia-toned photo of Jimmy and the black-haired girl standing side by side, smiling, squinting in the sunlight.
“Maybe she’s an ex-girlfriend,” she said as Bren studied it.
“And what, all these years later, seeing her still stirs up such dramatic emotions?” Bren looked unconvinced. “Must have been some breakup.”
Georgina took the photo back.
“Okay, maybe it wasn’t a breakup.” She looked down at Jimmy’s youthful features, at the girl’s crooked teeth and dimpled grin. “Maybe something else happened. Maybe she died.”
She was expecting Bren to shoot this theory down, but he was listening, so she continued.
“In tragic circumstances. Then all these years later, he wakes up and finds her photo by his hospital bed… No explanation…”
“I guess it’s possible,” Bren said. “Then seeing her photo unexpectedly after all these years could trigger a huge reaction. But we don’t know, Georgie,” he added, in a brisker tone. “Maybe that’s total fiction. Maybe it’s simply that his medication’s made his brain foggy.”
“But the pain in his voice…” Georgina had heard it. Under the anger. “I’ve never heard my dad like that before.”
You left those photos there? How dare you…
She walked away to stand in the middle of the room.
“If it was something like that, and I left that photograph by his bed…” Guilt flooded her.
“You’re beating yourself up over nothing, Georgie,” said Bren. “This is just a theory, and until we find your dad, we’ve no way of knowing if it’s true. There’s nobody else we can ask.”
She turned around.
“Actually,” she said, “there is.”
Billy. The boy with the big ears in the photographs was an aging man now. The early-onset Alzheimer’s had taken so much away from him, so many years that could have been good, well lived. He was Jimmy’s younger brother; he looked a decade older.
But Billy had memories. They were jumbled and confused, but he had them. Jimmy, who visited him often, had told her once that sometimes Billy brought up things from decades ago as if they had happened last week.
She looked at the photo of her teenage father. “If Jimmy was sixteen or seventeen,” she said, “Billy would have been eleven or twelve.”
“Billy,” said Bren thoughtfully. “There’s an idea. You think he might have the memory buried somewhere?”
“I don’t know. But I think it’s worth a try.”
Chapter 36
The grounds of Billy’s nursing home were spacious and beautiful, lined with trees. The building sat squat in the middle, ugly and square and gray. A concrete box with a lock on the front door.
Bren and Georgina had both taken the day off. After dropping Cody at school, they’d driven here. Georgina had purple circles under her eyes. She’d slept fitful
ly, hoping all night that her dad would return. He hadn’t.
The care assistant who let them in, a warm-faced Filipina woman in her forties, smiled a genuine smile when they asked for William McGrath.
“Ah, Billy!” she said. “Billy is one of my favorite residents. This way.”
They followed her down a broad corridor. The walls were painted a faded yellow, which might have been bright once. A glance into the TV room showed Georgina a group of residents sitting in front of a television too small for any but those seated closest to see. Most were just staring into space. For all the care assistant’s warmth, this was a gloomy place, and Georgina felt guilt for allowing her visits to her uncle to tail off. While she and Billy had never been close, and Jimmy had told her repeatedly that Billy was confused by other visitors, right now those sounded like weak excuses for not doing the right thing.
“We’ve moved Billy to a new room recently,” the nurse was saying. “He had trouble with the stairs and he doesn’t like the lift…”
Georgina was relieved to find that Billy’s new room was large, with wide windows overlooking the grounds, and walls a pleasant shade of cream that had clearly been painted more recently than those in the corridor.
Billy was sitting in an armchair. He looked up when they entered, but only for a moment before he resumed staring at the cream wall. His ears and nose still stuck out, the ears almost comically prominent, but there was nothing else comical about his appearance. His face was sunken. His eyes a fading blue. He looked far older than his years, far older than the last time Georgina had seen him.
“How are we doing today, Billy?” The kindhearted care assistant fussed around him, adjusting his pillows. “Your niece has come to see you, isn’t that nice?”
Georgina sat down facing Billy. Bren remained standing, discomfort written all over his face.
“Billy, it’s me, Georgina,” she said cautiously. “How are you doing?”
Billy looked past her as if she wasn’t there. Didn’t recognize her. Didn’t even seem to see her. Jesus, thought Georgina, please don’t let this happen to me someday.