by Elise Faber
Then he was back, tugging her into his arms.
She stirred, feeling like she should summon the energy to say something.
“Sleep,” he ordered, smoothing his hand up and down her spine.
“We should get up,” she murmured.
“Sleep,” he ordered again. “Just for a little while.” His hand continued moving, and with that slow and steady rhythm, with his warm, hard body surrounding hers, that was an order she didn’t mind obeying in the least.
Her eyes slid closed.
Chapter Twenty
Ethan
It was ten days later, they were in Baltimore for their twice-yearly matchup, and he was kissing Dani in the hall.
Where anyone might see.
But it was before the game, and she’d just agreed to go to a late dinner with his parents after the game.
From first date to casually dating to meeting his parents.
All in the span of less than two weeks.
So yeah, Ethan was feeling high on life.
Of course, it had taken him years to work up the courage to make that first move, years he was kicking himself doubly for, considering how good these couple of weeks had been.
From the library to this hall.
He loved spending time with Dani.
He just . . . plain loved Dani.
That wasn’t a surprise. He’d been half in love with her from the moment he’d made her laugh at Max’s expense all those months before. Now, he was firmly entranced, falling in deeper and deeper with every minute that passed, whether in her presence or not.
He loved making her laugh and smile. He fucking loved . . . fucking her. He’d gone out and invested in a giant box of condoms, and they managed to find themselves in one another’s room most nights.
The sex was great.
But the rest of it was fantastic. How she forgot to be shy with him. How he could coax her to step out of her comfort zone if he kissed her just right. How she found the strength in herself to do the stepping without him. They filled their hours together with meals and movies, with learning all the little things.
So, fantastic was the minimum description he could muster.
And now, she was going to meet his parents.
It was going to be great. His mom would love her. His dad would clap him on the shoulder and beam and then later would whisper in his ear, asking him where in the fuck he’d found her because she was way too good for the likes of him.
Which was nothing more than the truth.
Dani was leaps and bounds above his level, so much more than he was worth and more than he deserved—
She pushed against his chest, lips swollen, chest heaving. “We need to get ready for the game.”
That was true, but for the first time ever, he didn’t want to play hockey. He wanted to skip on the game, to take this woman into a closet and make love with her, and then he wanted to introduce her to his parents.
Probably, he should reverse the order of things.
But the body wanted what the body wanted.
Which was why he tugged her close again.
“Ethan,” she laughed.
“One more,” he murmured. “Just one more.”
“Oka—”
He cut her off with a kiss, held her tight until she pushed him away.
“Give a woman a chance to breathe.”
“No, love,” he said. “If you can breathe, then you can think, and pretty soon you’ll start questioning why you’re with a man like me.”
Her face clouded. “Baby.”
He hadn’t meant it the way it sounded, and God knew he didn’t suffer from a confidence problem. But once the sentiment was in the air, he couldn’t deny that it was the truth—at least a little bit. Hell, even in his mental conversation with his parents, the same notion came up.
She was wonderful.
And he was damned lucky to have her.
“I’m being self-deprecating,” he said. “That’s all.”
Her face gentled. “Well, don’t tease like that. If I’ve made a promise to stop putting myself down, then you have to as well.”
He ran his thumb back and forth along the inside of her wrist. “I can do that.”
“Good.” She swatted him on the ass. “Now go. Skate your butt off.”
“Then you couldn’t do that.”
She grinned, knowing him losing his hockey butt was never at risk. It was a glorious side effect of the sport.
He released her, turned down the hall.
“Ethan?”
He spun back.
“Remember that I’m always watching.”
Laughter bubbled in his chest.
She nibbled the corner of her mouth. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
Ethan had to steal one more kiss, to taste the chagrin on her lips. “I know,” he murmured, nipping at her jaw. “I promise, I won’t wink tonight.”
He’d received no little amount of shit for his previous wink. Which meant that Dani had also received no little amount of shit for the same.
Same went for the ones he’d given her during every game since.
She groaned. “I hope that’s true.”
He bopped her on the nose. “It’s not.”
Another groan.
“See you after the game, love.”
“Oh, God,” she moaned. “I’m meeting your parents.”
He kissed the fear off her lips. “They’re going to love you,” he promised.
“Go,” she said, shoving him back. “Before I freak out even more.”
“Leaving.” A tug of her hair. “I’ll try to get on some of those highlight reels.” He patted her hip, turned away.
Quiet greeted him, all the way down the hall. Broken only when he nearly turned the corner.
Then she called, “See that you do.”
He grinned, love for this woman filling him to the brim.
And Ethan found that when he hit the ice, he was still smiling.
Dani was a quiet statue at his back.
His mom and dad had taken turns hugging him and were now chattering his ear off.
“Honey, you played great,” his mom said, “and then you did that . . . thing with the puck to get it up to . . . your teammate.”
He laughed, squeezed her hand. She could wax poetic on Russian literature, but she couldn’t distinguish a forehand pass from a backhand, let alone discerning between players as they moved rapidly on the ice. “Thanks, Mom,” he said.
It had been a great game. The system working, riding the high of a series of goals from up and down the lineup. He felt like he was actually contributing and not just in working away from the puck. Ethan was connecting passes, making good defensive plays—he’d had a fire under his ass, both because Dani was watching and because his parents were there.
Things had just clicked, so Ethan was riding a definite high when he’d met up with Dani outside her office and had taken her to meet his parents.
A high that was so intoxicating it was certainly the reason for him missing what he really should have seen. Something he didn’t recognize until later. Until it was too late to fix.
Until everything had changed.
“And who’s this?” his dad asked.
Ethan turned and slipped an arm around Dani’s waist, tugging her forward. “This is Dani.”
His mom grinned, her brown curls a cloud around her head. “Hi, Dani, I’m Constance, and this is my husband, Brian.” She stuck out a hand for Dani to shake. “It’s so lovely to meet you. I feel like Ethan has been telling me about you for years.”
Dani’s lips parted, wide eyes coming to his.
He brushed his thumb over her cheek. “Someone might say that I’ve been a bit obsessed with you.”
“For years?” she breathed.
A nod.
“Wow.” She shifted closer, murmured, “Me, too.”
And they’d wasted how much time circling each other? God, he should have made his move much sooner.
But his regret was something that would have to wait.
“I-it’s nice to meet you,” Dani stammered, and he watched her shake his mom’s then his dad’s hand. It was strange to hear the quiet voice, the shy taking over. She’d been so relaxed with him, so much Dani that he’d almost forgotten about the shy side of her.
He squeezed her waist. “Should we go to dinner?”
His dad nodded, eyes going from Dani to Ethan. “Yes, let’s head out. We have reservations.” He swept forward, wove his arm through Dani’s, tugged her away from Ethan. “Is my son treating you well?”
“I—um—”
“Yes,” his mom said, closing ranks on her other side. “Give me all the gory details. Has he brought you flowers? What about chocolates? Jewelry?”
“Those are all too cliché.”
A scoff. “They may be cliché, but they’re still beacons of romance.”
“Cliché romance,” he said, coming up behind them.
“Tell me, honey,” his father murmured, “do I need to have a talk with my son about the merits of flowers and chocolates?”
Dani tossed a glance over her shoulder, fear in her expression.
He stepped forward, ready to move between them, to be a barrier between his parents and her discomfort, to shield her until she was prepared to speak.
But then her face changed, determination pushing out the fear.
“No,” she murmured. “You don’t have to have a talk with him.”
“You sure?” his mom asked.
“I’m sure.” Another glance, this one filled with warmth. “He bought me my favorite body wash.” She leaned closer. “And then he planned a candlelight dinner for me at Red Rocks.”
The first had drawn his mom’s gaze to his, her brows arched fiercely. The second had made her face soften.
“That’s my boy,” she mouthed as his dad took over the conversation, saying something that had Dani laughing out loud, the lovely, ringing sound filling the hall.
And his heart.
And Ethan knew this was going to be the best night ever.
Chapter Twenty-One
Dani
She’d thought she was doing well, thought she’d managed to get past her insecurities because she was meeting people who loved Ethan.
And because she loved Ethan.
Dinner had gone well.
She’d started off a little slow, a bit stuttering, but once she really started listening, Constance had reminded her of her own mom. A force to be reckoned with, whip smart and funny, with plenty of pushy thrown in.
Then they’d dropped her and Ethan off at the hotel.
Or the initial plan was dropping them off, because they’d ended up staying for a drink in the bar, and that one drink had turned into three.
Dani had peeled off to use the bathroom, a little buzzed, more than a little high on life. She’d done her business in the single stall, had washed her hands, reached for the doorknob.
And then she’d heard it.
Well, them.
Voices in the hall, undoing everything she’d spent the last few weeks building up.
She recognized Brian’s voice even through the door. “You’ve got a good one there, Eth.”
Footsteps coming closer, their words rising in volume.
“I know I do.”
The doorknob jiggled, making Dani jump, her hand clamping to her chest. The footsteps moved on, voices dimming, but not enough for her to miss hearing, “I love her, Dad. So fucking much.”
“Oh shit,” she whispered.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Her knees gave way, and she sank to the floor, her ass hitting the cold tile. She should be happy. Thrilled even. She was helplessly in love with Ethan, had been for a while, even if she was good at pretending she wasn’t.
Except . . . he loved her.
Fuck.
Her throat seized, spots flashing behind her lids, and her lungs worked without actually drawing oxygen into her bloodstream.
He loved her.
Fucking hell.
That . . . that . . . Her fingers scrambled for the lock, flicking it open, yanking the door wide. She stumbled out . . . right into Ethan.
Oh, fuck.
She wasn’t ready for this.
She couldn’t do this right now. She needed to have a panic attack in peace, needed to get to her room, to shove down all the old emotions of unworthiness that had burst forth at his words. It was just . . . too much and—
A soft hand on her back, rubbing up and down. “In and out,” Ethan murmured. “In and out. That’s it. You’ve got this.”
Eventually, the edges of black receded, and she came back into herself in the hall, Ethan having tucked her close, his body wrapped tightly around hers. “You can’t love me,” she whispered. “You can’t, you just can’t.”
His face gentled. “Except I do. I love you, Dani. Of course, I’d expected to tell you in a romantic setting, without the side of toilet. But I do.” He cupped her cheek. “I love you.”
She shook her head.
“Yes, baby. I do.”
Her pulse thundered in her veins, her heart twisting this way and that. She needed a moment. She needed to think, to freak out, and then to recenter. To tell this man she loved him too.
“I love you, Dani,” he murmured.
She pushed against his chest until he released her, staggering to her feet, shoving the hair out of her face. “I need—” She sucked in a breath. “I just need some time to—”
He rose with her, hands coming to her shoulders, eyes bright. “You don’t need time. You need to accept that I love you.” He jostled her lightly, making her head shake. “You have to—”
Her lungs went tight again.
The black crept back in.
“Just a second,” she breathed, slipping out of his hold. “Ethan, this is so much. Too much. I need to think. I need to—”
Come to terms with the fact that her entire life had shifted on its axis again.
She loved the man, loved him back so intensely, but she couldn’t muster the words out of her mouth. Instead, she scrambled for air, her throat swelling, her muscles spasming.
He loved her.
She loved him.
And . . . she was going to fuck it up. Or he’d realize that he wanted something else, deserved something more. The image of Roxanne burst to life in her mind, and for all she’d worked to exorcise those demons, to embrace her self-worth, to remember that Ethan had pursued her, had showed her over and over again that he chose her . . . she just . . . well, she was just too fucking panicked for something like logic to be effective.
He took a step toward her.
She skittered back. “Stop.”
Hurt edged into his expression. “Dani?”
“I can’t.” A sharp shake of her head. “I just . . . I can’t.” More time. Space to think. A moment to clear this out, to push back the panic and to come back into herself. Then she could find the words, tell this man—
“You don’t love me?”
She shook her head again.
Ethan paled, and she watched in horror as his hand lifted, pressing to his chest, to the spot over his heart, as though the organ inside ached.
Pain splintered through her.
He staggered back.
She stepped forward, realizing that he’d thought the shake was in answer to his question. That wasn’t what she’d intended, not at all. She’d just been trying to clear her head. To stop the fucking tornado in her mind.
“Ethan.”
He’d been staring at his feet, but the sound of his name on her tongue had him looking up. “It’s okay, Dani.”
There was a note of resignation in his tone.
One that had the panic in her disappearing in an instant.
As though he’d expected this all along.
“That’s not what I meant—”
He turned and disappeared down the hall.
Horror froze her in pla
ce for a long moment then she hurried after him. Because fuck the panic, fuck having to think.
She needed to tell Ethan she loved him.
But when she made it out to the bar, it was to find that Ethan and his parents were gone. She spun in a circle, searching, and then caught a flash of him, walking toward the front doors of the hotel.
All but running through the lobby, she snagged his arm just before he would have pushed out.
“Ethan,” she began.
Constance turned. “Oh, there you are, honey. Ethan said you’d gone up to bed.” She stepped forward, pulled Dani into a hug. “I’m so glad to finally meet you. We’ll come out to San Francisco soon.”
“I—I’d like that,” Dani murmured, her eyes on Ethan.
But he wouldn’t look at her, just stared out the large plate glass windows.
Brian swept her into a hug the moment Constance released her. “He gives you any trouble, you just call me, and I’ll get him in line.”
“He won’t,” she murmured. “You raised a good man.”
Ethan flinched, and she stepped out of Brian’s arms, reached out to grab his hand. He backed away, moved to the doors so the sensor picked up his presence and the glass panels slid open.
Brian and Constance waved goodbye and walked out.
When Ethan went to follow, she gripped his elbow. “Wait, I didn’t mean—”
“I’m going to walk them to their car.” He slipped free. “Wait here.”
“O-okay,” she whispered.
His eyes searched hers for a long moment, and then he turned and walked out the doors.
She waited.
But he didn’t come back.
And when, hours later, she knocked on the door to his room, he didn’t answer.
Why, fucking why hadn’t she just been able to say she loved him, too?
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ethan
They’d hopped on a plane for an early flight.
Meanwhile, he was a ball of misery.
But he was in the business of pretending he wasn’t miserable, dodging Dani at the hotel, arriving at the plane mere seconds before they were supposed to take off, and deliberately choosing a seat far away from her.
All to bask in his misery . . . and his idiocy.