Luke leaned away a bit and kept his eyes trained on my mouth as he wet his lips. Somehow he managed to subdue his lust to level a concerned glare at me. “You weren’t feeling well earlier. Maybe we shouldn’t—” he began, referencing the pain I’d been in that morning.
Cutting him off, I gave a look to let him know it passed and I was up for this. “I’m fine,” I assured him, hoping the words removed whatever doubt he might still have.
A relieved sigh hissed from his lungs when I rubbed and massaged the large bulge between his legs again. He wanted this as badly as I did; however, he definitely earned more points for having the willpower to stop and ask if I was feeling better first. Besides, with the way I was feeling, all I needed was a good ten minutes anyway.
I leaned toward his ear, letting my lips graze the sensitive skin on his lobe when I whispered, “I’ve been thinking about this all day.”
When I eased away, Luke’s eyes had closed at the sound of my words, dragging his lengthy fingers up the side of my thigh beneath the nightgown. I was in love with his touch, the way he’d do all the right things at precisely the right moment. A surge of wetness filled the space between my legs and I clenched them together. His hand climbed to my breasts after making the discovery that I’d come to bed without panties.
The next second I was on my back, staring up into a set of entrancing, green eyes. I snaked my hand up the side of Luke’s neck to the back of his head, bringing his lips closer as I clung to him. My other hand traveled to the waistband of his sweats, pushing them down only a few inches. Feeling the urgency in my touch, he yanked them down a little more, still keeping his mouth fastened to mine, but all that mattered was that I had access to him now. When the bare skin of his shaft grazed me, I moaned against his lips. His heat radiated against my inner thighs and I had to have him. Entangling his tongue with mine, Luke paused our kiss for a moment when the feel of my hand guiding him inside me stole his attention. Once I had him perfectly aligned, he didn’t hesitate to sink inside me entirely as his hips forced mine deeper into the soft surface of his mattress.
His thickness was something to be praised. He filled me to capacity with every thrust, letting all his weight rest on top of me. The base of his shaft rubbed against my clit softly and I parted my legs further, granting him complete and total access to the body that was nothing but his. All his.
I was panting loudly into the otherwise silent room. The only accompanying sound was the squeak of Luke’s bed that slowed and sped with his tempo. He had that down to a science, speeding up until I could hardly take it anymore, only to slow himself the next instant, reaching deeper inside with the more tender strokes. He’d done it again, leaving me breathless and that was my undoing. With my mouth pressed to his shoulder, I came, working my hips with his to intensify the sensation. My breathing slowed and I ascended from the high as Luke swept my body away from the sheet, making sure to keep our bodies connected when he rolled onto his back, bringing me to straddle him.
Weak and suddenly craving sleep, my lids felt heavy. I rode him lazily at first until my strength returned, pressing my palms flat against the headboard to balance myself. Watching as my breasts bobbed in his face, Luke gently touched them both, toying with my nipples. When he did, I got turned on all over again and found my second wind. With his want for me practically hitting me in waves, his hands left my breasts and went to my thighs. The tight grip enabled him to rock me back and forth on top of him. Harder. Faster. The friction brought back the tingling sensation to my core and I concentrated on it, shocked that I was getting ready to come again so soon.
Luke lifted his head from the pillow and sucked in a breath through his clenched teeth. I could feel him get even harder as his thighs flexed between mine. The tightening in my stomach spread south just like before and I tossed my head back, reveling in it. Luke wedged his hand between our bodies, swiveling his wrist into a position that made it easy for him to slip his fingertips back and forth over my clit. My body felt weary as another orgasm forced itself on me, ravished me. I could hardly move from fatigue. Sensing my body getting weak, Luke thrust his hips upward from the mattress, grinding from beneath me while I came for a second time. What little energy I had left was now completely spent. My hands slipped down the headboard and I let my weight fall on top of him as I struggled to catch my breath.
He ran his fingers up my spine while I relaxed, touching the light sheen of sweat coating my skin. However, when his hands wandered down for a second time, he gripped me forcefully, pulling my body up his tall frame a few inches. He moved me on his dick so effortlessly, the sounds of his moans filling my senses as he softly called out to me, slowly bringing me back to life. I closed my eyes and felt like I could honestly come again if given the chance. My lips found his as he made me ride him. I twirled my tongue around his while we kissed deeply, until his suddenly snatched away. Abruptly arching upward, he gripped me so tight it hurt. His release was powerful, so much so that I felt it fill me as I worked my hips on top of him a few seconds more.
His length slipped from inside and I found his lips again. When I took the sides of his face lightly, I think he could feel my love for him, could feel how much it had deepened. He kissed me back and the moment transitioned from hot and sensual, to soft and intimate very quickly. His touch was no longer urgent and ravenous. All he seemed to want was to hold me.
I slipped from my position on top and came to rest at his side again. We’d kicked the blankets off during our tryst, and at some point the rest of our clothes had come off, too. There we were, resting on top of the fitted sheet nude, letting the cool air surround us. This, lying here beside him, was almost as enjoyable as the sex.
Almost.
I noticed him breathing a bit deeper and glanced up to find he’d drifted off to sleep. With him lying there completely naked, I stared, couldn’t help myself. He was beautiful. No other word fit. My eyes wandered over his facial features, then his chest and abdomen, then below his waist. Smiling, I listened to him snore quietly. I got up and found the comforter on the floor so he wouldn’t get too cold. When I pulled it over his body, not even that roused him. Between his job and our love making, he was drained. I leaned in and kissed his cheek lightly and then stood there, wide awake, wondering what I’d do while he rested. I lay back down and tried to force my lids to stay closed, but they wouldn’t. Maybe it was just the fact that I was in a new environment, but I was wired.
Finding my nightgown and slipping a pair of stretch pants underneath, I ventured into the bathroom to freshen up, and then into the living room where I clicked on the small table lamp beside the couch. I plopped down and stared at the television. Turning it on would’ve probably awakened both Luke and Matt, so I changed my mind, searching the room for something else to hold my attention.
Solitaire. Everyone keeps a deck of playing cards.
I checked the drawers on the end tables, but didn’t find what I was looking for. The next logical place seemed like the cabinets beneath the coffee table. I let my legs slip off the couch and the rest of my body followed. Once on the floor, I gently pulled the small, wooden door open and reached inside. Nothing. Just some old photo albums. A smile crossed my face as I thought that thumbing through them could be more interesting than my original idea. It’d be fun to see pics of Luke as a kid, get a glimpse of what he was like back then.
For a fraction of a second, I wondered if it was an invasion of privacy for me to go through the books, sneaking a peak at Luke’s memories, but then I thought of how the conversation would go if I waited until tomorrow to ask him if he’d mind. I’d probably get the side-eye from him for thinking it was even a big deal, then he’d just give me permission anyway. So, with that, I was careful and quiet as I removed the black, leather-bound book on top.
The first picture I found brought a smile to my face. It was one of Luke, Matt, and Nick all standing on some cliff with the sky as their only background. It looked like they’d gone backpacking or something.
From the date written beneath it, I gathered that this must’ve been during Luke’s college years. I flipped the page. Next was a picture of them sitting around a campfire and another of Luke standing shirtless watching the sun rise. He looked pretty much the same as he did to me now, aside from the fact that he had no facial hair. I definitely preferred the grownup version of him to the one in the photo.
I flipped the page again and the smile faded from my face.
There she was–Catarina. She and Luke sat wrapped in a blanket, hugged up beside a lake on the same trip. I hurried to bypass the picture, but it seemed like every photo after that had her in it, too. One of her and Nick’s wife, her cousin; one of her alone pretending to kiss a fish that she’d caught herself according to the caption, and a candid shot Luke must’ve caught of her laughing.
I imagined him taking that picture, smiling at her, loving the sound of her laugh, thinking how lucky he was to have her. Those jealous feelings came back, along with the hurt she’d caused me in the past, and I flipped the page only to find more pictures of the two of them together. The book slammed shut and I shoved it back in the cabinet and took out another one. I couldn’t get away from her. My purpose for going through the albums was to find out more about Luke, but all I found were remnants of his life with Catarina. It seemed like she was woven into every experience he’d ever had. In his cap and gown at his graduation, he had his arm around her. In a photo from one of his mother’s birthday parties, Catarina was there. She was at his celebration for landing some internship. She was sitting in his lap in a picture from when he took a train to D.C. for the presidential inauguration. It dawned on me that learning about him was the equivalent to learning about her. They’d spent almost their entire lives together.
That thought, that realization, made me feel like such an outsider.
I hadn’t even had a chance to open the small, gray album in my hands when I heard movement in Luke’s bedroom. Quickly, I placed both albums back in the cabinet where I found them and eased back onto the couch just as his door opened. He rubbed his eyes sleepily, trying to adjust to the light when his gaze locked on me.
“What’s wrong? Why’d you leave?” he asked.
I nodded, giving only a dim smile. “Just couldn’t sleep.”
He made his way over to me and took both my hands. Within seconds, he had me on my feet and in his embrace. “It’s because you’re not used to sleeping here, isn’t it?” he asked, squeezing me tighter.
While he was right, yes, that was the initial cause of my insomnia, I now had a whole new reason to lose sleep. Those pictures reinforced a feeling that I’d been trying to fight since we first talked about Catarina. For so long, he’d belonged to her. Part of me wondered if, in some ways, that would always be true.
Luke didn’t wait for me to respond. I watched as he shut off the lamp on our way back to his bedroom, latching onto my hand to tow me gently behind him. I stood beside the bed with my thoughts running amuck while he closed and locked his door. My eyes were on him, listening intently to each step that he took as he moved in my direction. His hands were warm against my torso when he slipped my gown back over my head and eased the pants off, too. I was completely naked again, but I could tell by the way he touched me that his intentions weren’t sexual. Before coming to find me in the living room, he’d thrown his sweats back on, but those were on the floor with my things the next second.
I swear, standing there, he looked right through me, took some of my anxiety away with just a smile. My eyes drifted close at the feel of his fingers running their course down my shoulders to my arms until my hands were in his again. He walked me over to the bed and had me lie down. When I did, he pulled the cover up over my breasts and touched his lips to mine. He rounded the foot of the bed and then climbed in beside me, so warm, just like always. I was brought into another embrace and held close. That always made whatever was wrong fade into oblivion. It almost worked this time, too, but not quite. There was still some doubt there, some worry there. Some things were harder to let go of than others, and I accepted that fact.
This was just one of those things.
*****
Luke
I sat at my desk in a daze most of the day, thinking about it all—how much I enjoyed having Lissette stay with me, plans to make her feel more at home, and just thought about what we had in general. We were building something solid and I could hardly believe it myself. It’d barely been over a month and already I knew this was right, knew she was right for me. We just seemed to fit.
She called to check on me when I went to lunch and her sweet disposition brought a smile to my face. That’s one of the things I loved most about her. When we first met she had a tough exterior, came across as abrasive and guarded, but now that she’d let me in, I understood why. The bullying. It’d led to hidden insecurities that she kept to herself for the most part. Those walls had fallen down, though, and I loved how open and accepting she was. Of me. Of my past. Just in general.
We made plans to hang out when I got off work to just talk. A nice, laid back, quiet night was exactly what I needed. I stopped by her place on my way home from work to pick her up. That morning, I encouraged her to stay at my apartment to chill while I was gone. Matt would’ve been there to keep her company, but she insisted on getting home to fill orders. At least that was why she said she wanted to go. To me, she was just having a hard time adjusting to not being at her own home, but I hoped she’d get past that soon and would start to feel like my place was as much hers as it was mine. Because that was the way I saw it. Until we made the leap to move in together completely, this was the arrangement and I had no problem sharing my space with her.
I waited at the curb, watching the door. When I called to say I was on my way up to get her, Lissette assured me she could manage her things and suggested that I just stay in the car. When she burst through the building’s entrance, she was all smiles and I realized again how much I enjoyed this part of my day, seeing her after work, having her to come home to.
“Hey!” she beamed when she took the seat beside me.
My response was a kiss to her cheek and then my eyes went to the tote on her shoulder. She’d left her overnight bag on my dresser that morning, so I was curious as to what she was bringing with her this time. It was something solid. I could see that through the flower-patterned, cloth bag.
“What’s in there?” I asked, glancing over one last time before pulling out into traffic.
She grinned. “It’s a surprise. It’s something I wanna share with you.” My interest was piqued, but I knew she’d never tell me.
We grabbed a pizza and locked ourselves in my bedroom so we could have privacy, which Matt objected to of course. We ate on a blanket on the floor with a candle lit in the middle and just talked. She told me about her and Brooklyn’s phone conversation and that she’d gotten two new orders. I told her about the boring meeting that livened up when my colleague’s chair broke beneath him. We didn’t talk about anything heavy, but there was such ease to this conversation. It was always like that with her. Easy.
“So, there’s something I wanna show you,” Lissette piped.
I watched as she hoisted herself up off the floor and walked over to the bag she’d brought with her today. She unzipped it and pulled out a heavy wooden box before coming back to sit across from me on our makeshift picnic blanket.
“What’s this?” I asked, confused.
She smiled a little as she took the lid off the top. “It belonged to my grandmother. I just thought I’d share it with you, since we’ve basically talked about everything else. I decided that now’s as good a time as any to share this, too.” She glanced up at me for a second and then back down at the old, yellowing sheets of paper inside the box. Her eyes softened when she smiled, reading the words on one of the pages.
“Do you remember asking me why I said yes that night? And I told you about that fortune I got?”
I nodded.
She smiled again.
“Well… I was just following my grandmother’s advice.”
I didn’t understand, knowing her grandmother had passed years ago. “How’s that?”
“Back in the day, before she met my grandfather, there was this other guy she fell in love with. He’s the one all these letters belong to.” She laughed a little. “Well, they’re written to him, but she never gave them to him. It’s more like they’re journal pages that chronicle their life together. She wrote about everything.”
I took one of the sheets from the box and looked it over. This particular one was about a day she’d spent at the beach with this man. From the way it sounded, they’d just gone on a whim in the middle of the night. I smiled as I read, seeing so much of Lissette’s personality in her grandmother in just this one story.
“Wow.”
Lissette smiled. “I love reading these. It’s like this epic love story that never really got to be.”
“Not to sound bold, but why’d she marry your grandfather instead of this guy?”
She shrugged. “From what my mom tells me, my grandmother’s mom was all about social order and whatnot and thought my Grandpa Lee was better for her. I don’t know if there was more to it than that, but that seems to be the gist of it. And the guy moved on and started a family of his own like she did. Mom thinks they kept in touch a little bit after they were supposed to have both been settled, but I don’t know.”
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