We need to talk, it said.
Merrigan started and stopped several different messages in reply, but ultimately, didn’t respond. Ten minutes later, her cell rang.
“Fatale,” she answered, even though the caller ID told her it was Kade calling.
“I know you received my message, so quit playing games. We need to talk.”
“You should know that I’ve requested a new assignment.”
“Good.”
Good? What the hell? Evidently, he wanted her gone as much as she wanted to be.
“Then we have nothing to talk about.”
“Sure we do. Where are you? Moonstone?”
“No.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
God, this man infuriated her. She should just hang up on him, but she couldn’t bring herself to disconnect the call. If this was going to be the last time she heard the voice she’d grown to crave, a few minutes more wouldn’t make a difference.
“You know I’ll find you whether you tell me where you are or not.”
“I’m leaving for Los Angeles shortly, for the flight back to London.”
“You’re lying to me again, and I want to know why.”
“Kade, please. We both know how inappropriate this…this…conversation is. What happened in Moscow shouldn’t have. I’ve made Rivet aware of the situation, and he—”
“Stop this. I know you haven’t made Rivet aware of a damn thing. I’ll see you in an hour.”
Her phone beeped, indicating the end of the call. Instead of setting the phone down, she made the call she’d told Kade she already had.
“Fatale,” said Rivet on the other end of the line.
“Sir.”
“The answer is no.”
“What is the question?”
“I’m not reassigning you, nor am I sending in a replacement.”
“Why ever not?”
“Stay the course. You’ve come this far. See it through.”
“But—”
“I don’t give a toss what’s happened with you and Butler. You’re both adults.”
The call ended the same way her call with Kade had. Okay, she thought, a transfer wouldn’t be happening. That didn’t mean she and Kade would be anything but fellow operatives assigned to the same mission. Her will to be professional would simply have to overcome her will to feel his naked body against hers.
3
After another emotional reunion with Brodie, Kade sat on the front porch, talking to Peyton for over thirty minutes. In that time, she told him about falling in love with his brother and thanked him for bringing them together.
“I have a question, but not about anything important. It’s more something I’m curious about,” she said to him.
“You can ask me anything.”
Peyton smiled. “But that doesn’t mean you’ll be able to answer.”
Kade smiled too. “You know the drill.”
“The night before you were reported missing, you sent me a photo. I could’ve sworn it looked like Bagram in Afghanistan.”
“Good eye. And yeah, I stopped there for an intelligence briefing.”
Peyton nodded. “Like I said, I was curious.” She stood to go inside. “I want you to know that I do love you, Kade.”
“And I love you,” he told her. “I always will.”
She stood on tiptoes and kissed his cheek, and then smiled. “You’re my brother now.”
“And the boys’ uncle. How do you think they’ll react?”
“They’ll be fine. Trust me. Kids are so resilient.”
“Ma has a family dinner planned tonight. She’s invited Skye and Ainsley as well, given New Year’s Day dinner is a family tradition,” Brodie told Kade when he and Peyton came in the house.
He wanted more time with all of his siblings, and the dinner Ma planned would give him the opportunity. Within a few days, he hoped the relationships he had with them would return to the way they were before he left for Moscow. When everyone knew of his return, and he got Leech and maybe even Lena settled, he’d spend more time with Quinn before he decided what to do with the rest of his life. The only thing he knew for certain was he wouldn’t be returning to the spy game. Not ever if he could help it. There were other ways he could serve his country.
When Maddox dropped him off at the house in Harmony, Da’s old truck was in the driveway, but when he went inside, his father wasn’t there, although Paps and Razor were.
“Hey, Doc,” said Razor. “These are for you.” He tossed Kade a set of keys.
“Did you locate Merrigan?”
Paps nodded. “Moonstone Cottages. Number four, it’s in the front. I’ve scheduled a meeting for nineteen hundred hours,” Paps told him. “Oh, and Barbie will be back in the morning.”
“Roger that,” he answered. “But, push the meeting to tomorrow.”
He walked out, shutting the front door behind him. As soon as he set things straight with Merrigan, he planned to meet up with Quinn and Mercer.
Naught had told him they’d been invited to tonight’s dinner, but he hoped to have some time alone with the two of them before that, to help prepare her for what to expect. He checked the time, realizing he might not be able to fit it in unless things resolved easily with Merrigan, and that, he doubted.
—:—
When she heard the knock on the door, Merrigan knew Kade stood on the opposite side of it. She squared her shoulders and yanked it open, ready to give him a piece of her mind.
He crossed the threshold and lifted her in his arms before she was able to say as much as hello. His mouth came down hard on hers, as his tongue demanded entry. When he put his hands on her bottom and lifted her body, she clung to him.
This is what she’d fantasized about since they parted ways in Moscow, after the scorching kiss they’d shared.
When he carried her over to the bed and was about to trap her body under his, Merrigan came to her senses and rolled out from under him.
“What in the hell do you think you’re doing?” she spat at him, wiping his taste from her lips with the back of her hand.
Kade followed her until he had her cornered in the room. “Picking up where we left off,” he murmured, and then covered her lips with his again.
“Stop this,” she said, pushing against him.
Instead of letting her go, Kade barricaded her between the wall and his body. He dipped his head until he found his target and kissed her again. It wasn’t just her lips he kissed either. His tongue trailed down her neck, as his left hand sneaked under her sweater and his fingers toyed with her nipple.
It was as though her body had a mind of its own and refused to listen to her brain telling it to get away from him. Finally, she found the single word she knew would bring this seduction to a screeching halt.
“Barbie,” she murmured when he took a breath.
“She won’t be here until tomorrow.”
Merrigan pushed at Kade with all her might, catching him off guard long enough to slip under his arm. “You bastard,” she screeched at him. “How dare you?”
Kade held up his hands but stalked toward her. She didn’t have much space to get away from him in the small room, but if she could maneuver herself closer to the door, maybe she could run out, get in her car, and leave before he realized what was happening.
Unfortunately, he was as quick or quicker than she was. He scooped her up and set her on the edge of the bed, pinning her with his body.
“Explain,” he bellowed. “Right now.”
“I’m not sure what kind of women you’re used to, Doc, but I am not one of them.”
“Are you telling me you don’t want this?”
His lips were close enough that he could easily kiss her again, and if he did, she doubted she’d be able to maintain her resolve.
“That’s exactly what I’m telling you,” she said, refusing to look at him.
His grip loosened but not enough that she could slip away from him again. “What does this have to do with Barbie
?”
“Oh. My. God,” she roared. “It has everything to do with her. Kade, have you no respect for her, or me, or any other woman? How could I have misjudged you so completely?”
He let go and stood, walking over to the table by the window. He pulled out one of the chairs and turned it so he was facing her. “Let’s start over,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. “Do you even know who Barbie is?”
“Of course I do.”
“Tell me.”
“Don’t be daft. I’m in no mood for games.”
“Neither am I. Now, tell me who Barbie is.”
“For Christ’s sake. She’s your bloody wife.”
His face softened, and Merrigan thought maybe she’d even seen him smile. “She’s my bloody ex-wife. We’ve been divorced for almost fifteen years.”
“But…”
Kade raised an eyebrow and waited for her to continue; when she didn’t, he spoke. “Where did you get the idea she was still my wife?”
She thought hard about Paps’ words earlier. Had she somehow misheard him? Had he said ex-wife, but instead she’d heard wife? “I must’ve misunderstood,” she murmured, meeting his eyes.
When she stood, so did he.
“Come here,” he said, even though she was close enough that he could’ve easily pulled her into his arms.
She hesitated, feeling foolish for letting him see how much thinking he was married had affected her. They’d shared one kiss before today. Just one. It didn’t matter that it had curled her toes and set her body aflame. One kiss, no matter how incendiary, did not give her license to be jealous.
His gaze rested on her still unopened suitcase, and instead of moving closer to her, he picked it up and turned in the direction of the door.
“Where do you think you’re going with that?”
“There’s somewhere I want to take you.”
“If it requires a different attire, I can change here. We don’t need my entire trunk.”
“I’m taking you to my family’s ranch. You can stay there.”
She folded her arms. “I’m perfectly comfortable here.”
Kade looked about the small room and shook his head. “I’m not.” He walked out the door, carrying her bag with him. “Let’s go,” he said behind him.
“Kade, I—”
He dropped her trunk where he stood and stalked back over to her, grasping her neck with one hand and her waist with the other as his lips came crashing down on hers. His tongue wound its way through her parted lips, and his fingers dug into the flesh of her hip. She whimpered when he pressed his body to hers and she felt his hardness.
He pulled back enough that he could look into her eyes, but his body remained flush with hers.
“I haven’t seen my family for two years. Most of them believed I was dead. I’ve seen my daughter, actually held her, looked into her eyes, and spoke to her for the first time in fourteen years, and yet, you are all I can think about. My mother is hosting a family dinner tonight, and if I have any hope of being present with the people who mean more to me than anything else in this world, I need you by my side. Do you understand, Merrigan? Don’t make me beg you to come with me. Come with me because you want to.”
She took a deep breath and studied him. “Okay.”
He sighed. “Thank you.”
He let her go and put her bag in the bed of an old truck and then opened the passenger door for her. “What about my car?” she asked, looking at the vehicle parked next to his.
“Someone will bring it to the ranch.”
“Wouldn’t it be easier if I followed you?”
Kade motioned for her to get in, and when she did, he leaned in so his lips were almost touching hers. “No.”
Merrigan laughed when he backed away and closed her door. How could she not? All that drama for one simple word.
—:—
Kade looked over at Merrigan who, instead of looking at him, watched the sunlight on the Pacific Ocean as he drove her away from it. Maybe he was being a shit by asking her to stay thirty miles inland with him, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t stand to be away from her. Even between the time he left Moscow and the time she arrived with Paps and Razor, he’d missed her. When she’d shown up unexpectedly, half of him wondered why she was there, while the other half thanked God she was close enough to touch.
It had been so long since he’d allowed himself to feel. Every day he’d spent in captivity, he’d buried every possible emotion deeper and deeper, until he felt more like machine than man.
Was that all this unyielding need for her was—his emotions bubbling to the surface faster than he could manage them? No, it had to be more than that. When he looked at Merrigan it was as though his eyes focused for the first time in his life. Colors were brighter. He felt the wind’s light touch on every part of his exposed skin, and the sound of her laugh was like a chorus of angels. This shit was so not him. A chorus of angels? Fuck.
What he really felt was alive and free—free to finally touch the beautiful woman sitting beside him. Her red hair was darker than his ma’s and had both brown and blonde woven through the wavy tendrils that flowed down past her shoulders. Her skin was pale, yet had a natural rosy glow, and her blue eyes sparkled as though they were sapphires cut with diamonds.
Finally, today, he’d felt the bare skin of her breasts beneath his hands, and he longed for so much more.
The first time he saw Merrigan was in the hell hole where the Russians kept Leech and him barely alive, yet lucid enough that they believed the next beating would force the answers they sought out of them. Initially, he’d thought she was an angel and that his time had finally come.
When he heard her speak to the men in Russian, he thought perhaps he was hallucinating. No one that beautiful, with a purity that seemed to seep from her skin, could possibly be part of the group who beat him to a bloody pulp day in, day out.
It took three weeks of watching her come and go, waiting for some sign that she wasn’t another demon, for him to know he hadn’t been wrong about her. The day she finally spoke to him, with a soft Scottish lilt that reminded him of his mother, he asked her if he was dead.
“You’re not dead, Doc,” she whispered. “And I’m here to make sure you stay that way until I get you and Leech out of here.”
Merrigan took a deep breath and let her head fall back against the seat. Her eyes drifted to him and the slightest of smiles came over her face.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“We’re here. It’s like a dream, isn’t it? After months of hearing about the beauty of this place, I’m here, and it’s everything you said it would be. It’s more, really.”
Kade didn’t answer. He couldn’t. It felt as though his heart was going to beat out of his chest. When she reached out with her china-delicate hand and rested it on his, he felt that same purity flow from her skin to his. How could someone who had seen and done the same horrific things he had, still remain as radiant and otherworldly as Merrigan? Did God somehow cleanse her soul, keeping it free from the darkness that seemed to enshroud him? Was it insane of him to think that if she wrapped her goodness and light around him, he too could be cleansed from evil?
“Thank you,” she murmured.
What was she thanking him for? Could she read his thoughts?
“You’re welcome,” he managed to say, almost afraid of the sound of his own voice.
“Do you know what I’m thanking you for?”
He laughed. “I was wondering if you could read my thoughts.” Kade turned to look in her eyes. “I was just thinking that you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known.”
Her cheeks turned a bright rosy color, and she looked away from him.
“Thank you again, then,” she murmured.
“What were you thanking me for the first time?”
“Making this real.”
“I’m not sure you’ll feel that way after you see how ‘real’ my family can be.”
She turned in the seat so her body was almost facing his. “Tell me what to expect. Brief me on the Butler clan.”
—:—
No amount of forewarning could’ve prepared Merrigan for Kade’s family, even if she’d read a two-hundred-page dossier.
His mother, Sorcha, was like a gale force wind enveloping those around her in a blanket of spun sugar. His father, Burns Butler—although no one in the family knew him that way other than Kade and Sorcha—was a legend of a man. The stories she’d heard about him, while almost mythical, didn’t come close to doing him justice. It was clear his oldest son admired him both as a role model, but also as a loving father.
Maddox, who was married to Alex, smiled through dancing eyes. The two together exuded a mischievousness that was as warm as a log fire on a cold day on the Scottish moor.
While Naughton’s facial features weren’t distinctly the same as Kade’s, their temperament was like looking at two halves of what had once been one soul.
A very beautiful woman, holding an equally cherubic baby, approached her with two young boys in tow. She’d seen Kade with them and his brother Brodie earlier. The reunion between them and their now uncle had been both joy- and tearful.
“I’m Peyton,” she said, introducing herself. “I’m Brodie’s wife. And this is Kismet, our daughter, and our two boys, Jamison and Finn.”
Ah. This was Peyton. Merrigan knew that she was far more than Brodie’s wife; she’d once been Kade’s lover. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Kade has told me so much about all of you.”
The boys shook her hand politely, and then went in search of something to eat. When Peyton’s cheeks flushed, Merrigan took her free hand in both of hers and smiled. The look on the woman’s face immediately changed, as she must’ve realized that Merrigan and Kade were more than colleagues.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you as well,” she said. “I hope we’ll see more of you here at the ranch.”
“I think you will.”
As she scanned the room, she met Kade’s lingering gaze from across the room. He walked in her direction, his eyes never leaving hers. Did he know what his smoldering smile did to her? That every part of her warmed when he was near? Could he possibly be aware that all he’d have to do was snap his fingers, and she’d follow him to the ends of the earth?
The Return (Butler Ranch Book 6) Page 3