“Shall we, then? I’ll just pop in and thank…” She looked over at the children. “Sir Caird.”
“Sir?” asked Kevin, whose eyes lit up.
“Indeed. He’s been knighted by the Queen herself.”
“Wow,” Kevin mouthed as Merrigan bypassed his secretary and rapped on Rivet’s door.
“Come in,” he answered.
“Thank you for this, sir,” she said after she closed the door behind her.
Rivet looked away from his computer screen and at her. “I want you to take some time away.”
“Meaning?” Was he reprimanding her?
“Don’t get your knickers in a knot, I’m merely suggesting you take some time off.”
“Yes, sir,” she answered with heated cheeks.
“And, Fatale, try to figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life.”
“Are you firing me?”
“On the contrary. I’m suggesting there may be other opportunities ahead of you that you may find more…appealing.”
Merrigan sat in the chair in front of Rivet’s desk. “What’s this, then? Why are we having this conversation?”
Rivet came around and leaned against the front of his desk. “Life, Merrigan. Don’t forget to live it.”
She nodded, looking into his warm eyes. “Thank you, Riv.”
“Away with you now. It is my understanding that a certain retired CIA agent is desperately trying to reach you. In fact, I’ll step out, and you can ring him now.”
“That isn’t necessary—”
“Oh, my dear, it certainly is. If you don’t contact him soon, I’m afraid he’ll descend on my office.”
—:—
Kade’s relief was palpable when he saw Merrigan’s name flash on his screen. “Hi,” he answered.
“I understand you’ve been pestering my boss,” she teased.
“I won’t apologize.”
“Very well. I suppose, then, I should invite you…oh, wait…I’ve just invited my brother and his family to stay at my flat.”
“Are you heading there now?”
“Yes, but—”
“I’ll be waiting.”
Kade had made arrangements for the team to stay at Dorchester’s Forty-Five Park Lane, and while he booked a room for himself, he hadn’t planned to use it. Perhaps he would after all.
Having Merrigan in his arms for just a few minutes had filled him with a sense of peace he experienced only with her. All too soon, she’d been swept away, but now, they both deserved some time away from the spy game. He only hoped she’d agree to take it.
As he waited for the taxi, he closed his eyes and thought about the conversation he and Mercer had had with Quinn.
It had been brief, and her stated biggest concern was for her grandfather, which made Kade proud. Sensing she’d feel more comfortable talking with Mercer alone, he’d said goodbye, told her he loved her, and that he’d give her an update tomorrow with their travel plans.
Afterwards he realized Mercer would probably do the same; however, he had no intention of censoring the things he said to his daughter. He wanted an open and honest relationship with her.
Second only to Quinn, was Merrigan. He thought about her every minute that the medic spent patching up his leg, and was determined not to hold back with her. He wanted her to know how he felt, not just in the heat of the moment, but always. Everything he’d wanted to tell her in the last few weeks, he planned to tell her tonight.
He’d just exited the taxi in front of Merrigan’s building when a call came from Leech. The last thing he wanted was to have this conversation on a noisy London street, but he couldn’t ignore the call either. He looked around but didn’t see a quiet place he could duck into either.
“Leech,” he said, answering the call. “I’m so sorry.”
“As I told Paps, I don’t blame him or you. Lena…my daughter…”
Even through the noise of the traffic swirling around him, Kade could hear the anguish in his mentor’s voice. “I’m sorry,” he said again. Simply unable to find the words to express the sorrow he felt.
“Merrigan…she’s good for you, Kade. Don’t get caught up in feeling any guilt whatsoever about my daughter. You did more for her than anyone could’ve asked.”
“I’m not feeling that way right now, Leech.” Kade’s eyes filled with the thought that he had failed her all those years ago. If only he’d stuck around long enough to realize the depth of her suffering.
“Stop it. I know what you’re thinking, and I want you to let it go. I called to tell you that, while I don’t hold you responsible for her death, I know you need my forgiveness anyway. You’ve got it, Doc. Now forgive yourself.”
Leech disconnected the call, and Kade stood outside Merrigan’s building, processing what he’d said. For now, they were all still in shock. Lena’s death hadn’t really hit any of them yet. In the days and weeks to come, he knew he wouldn’t be the only person searching his soul.
Before he’d left the hotel, he’d asked Razor to meet him in the bar.
“I’m worried about Paps,” he’d told him.
“I am too.”
“This isn’t a typical…”
“I hear ya, Doc.”
Razor had agreed to keep an eye on the man who had been his best friend for almost twenty-five years. He’d told Kade he couldn’t promise that Paps would be in the mood for talking, but he knew how to be annoying enough to get him to have a few beers with him.
“When are we goin’ home?” Razor had asked.
Kade told him he hadn’t figured it out yet, but hadn’t told him why. The next few days, hell, the next few years of his life if he had his way, would be dependent on what Merrigan wanted to do.
He saw a car pull up and immediately recognized it as something MI6 would’ve ferried someone at Merrigan’s level home in. When he saw her climb out with two children, one holding each hand, he smiled.
They’d spent hours talking about their families while he’d been a prisoner. Actually, he’d done most of the talking; she’d simply said she wasn’t close to hers. Seeing her like this, surrounded by her people, warmed his heart only because he knew how much it meant to her. It wasn’t something she’d ever ask for, but she’d see it as a gift that her brother was making such an effort.
“Hi,” she murmured, walking over to where he waited.
“Who’s this?” he asked, looking down at her niece and nephew.
Merrigan shook her left hand. “This is Kevin, and on my right is Rowen.”
Kade held out his hand, and Kevin shook it. “It’s nice to meet you. My name is Doc.”
A woman Kade could only assume was Merrigan’s sister-in-law was holding another little girl, who was trying to squirm out of her arms. He walked over to them.
“Hi,” he said to the toddler. “Do you want to come see your Aunt Merrigan?”
“Oh, you’re good. I’m Mary Pat, by the way,” she said, attempting to let the little girl down. Instead, she reached out for Kade, who took her in his arms.
“I’m Doc.”
“I’m Bronagh,” she said and reached out for Merrigan.
“You two are going to have your hands full. I’m Mac, by the way,” Merrigan’s brother introduced himself.
“How so?” she asked.
Mac looked at Mary Pat, and they both laughed.
“What?” asked Merrigan.
“If I were a fortune teller, I’d see many wee ones on the horizon for you two.”
Kade smiled and looked at Merrigan, whose cheeks had turned almost as red as her hair.
“By the way, Mer. I was sorry to hear about your mate.”
“You mean Orlov?”
Mac nodded.
Kade could tell she was struggling with what to say, but finally admitted she was sorry too.
“Shall we go inside?” she asked, handing Bronagh back to Kade to look for her keys.
Mac laughed. “You’re naturals.”
“Watch
it,” she murmured. “I’m not above short-sheeting your bed.”
“She used to do that to me all the bloody time,” Mac cried. “I remember…”
Kade stopped listening to her brother’s words and focused on two things only: the look of happiness on the face of the woman he loved, and the little girl who rested her head on his chest, thumb in mouth. Quinn used to do that. He loved the way it felt to have her fall asleep snuggled up to him. He took a deep breath. There was nothing like the scent of a child. There was a pure sweetness that lasted only so long. He’d savored it with Quinn, not even realizing he had.
His eyes met Merrigan’s. He could tell she’d been watching him. Her expression was both quizzical and happy. He hoped Mac’s prediction was right. Nothing would make him happier than to hold a child in his arms that they’d made together.
—:—
She’d been trained to know how to react to many given situations, but this one had her baffled. Once they’d gone inside, Kade and her brother had gone about the flat, opening windows to air it out. Mary Pat had settled her nieces and nephew with books, and then offered to help Merrigan in any way she could.
“I don’t have much,” she said. It had been months since she’d been home. “I should’ve thought about that on our way.”
“What’s that? I can run round the store and pick up some groceries,” Mac offered.
“I can go too,” added Kade.
Merrigan scribbled a handful of things on a list, and then handed it to Mary Pat.
“I wouldn’t know where to begin,” she said, looking over at the children.
“Mac’s got it. Not to worry.”
Before they left, Kade came over and kissed her soundly on the lips, eliciting Mary Pat to clear her throat.
“MacGregor Shaw, I faintly remember that you used to kiss me goodbye as well.”
Merrigan laughed. This was all so normal, and completely outside of her comfort zone. Could she even do normal? Had she ever? She couldn’t remember a time when she had. Even as a little girl, her thoughts and dreams were so different from her schoolmates. While they’d talk about marrying the latest teen heartthrob, she’d dreamed about being Emma Peel.
“Are you holding up?” Mary Pat asked her.
“Yes…um…what do you mean?”
Her sister-in-law laughed. “You look a tinge shell shocked.”
“Just a tinge?” She laughed too. “Oh,” she said, seeing a call coming in from Kade. “What’d you forget?” she asked.
“To tell you I love you. I never want to leave your side without saying those words to you.”
Merrigan turned away from Mary Pat. “I love you too,” she murmured. When he disconnected the call and she turned back around, her brother’s wife was studying her.
“When Mac and I were first together, I think he was absolutely dumbfounded by how demonstrative my family was, and thus, me too.”
Merrigan nodded, remembering how she’d been shocked by their public displays of affection when they had dinner together at the safe house.
“There’s nothing wrong with it, you know.”
“I do know, it’s just…”
“You don’t have to tell me.” Mary Pat laughed again. “Your brother was as stiff-upper-lip as they come. Doc will loosen you up, I can see it already.”
“Thank you,” Merrigan said.
“Whatever for?”
“Making this so easy for me. I know I haven’t been a part of your lives…”
Mary Pat grasped both her hands. “Maybe not in the flesh, but every night our children beg for a story about their brilliantly adventurous Aunt Merrigan, MI6, and star of every action hero story their father can conjure up. And there have been some doozies. Ask him about the time you saved the world from the mad scientist who planned to make all the earth’s volcanoes erupt simultaneously.”
“Oh, goodness.”
“You don’t know the half. They all cheered when Aunt Merrigan pushed Doctor Lava into Mount Etna.” Mary Pat smiled and shook her head. “Mac told you that Bronagh’s middle name is Merrigan.”
“Aye,” she answered. “I was very emotional when he did.”
“Did he also tell you that both Kevin and Rowen demanded to have their middle names changed to Merrigan as well?”
“You’re kidding.”
“I think Kev may have given up the cause now that he’s in school and knows the ribbing he’d get from his mates. Rowen, however, I predict will have it legally changed as soon as she reaches eighteen. More now that she’s gotten to know you in person.”
“Oh, dear. I hope I don’t disappoint them.”
“You never could,” Mary Pat said, her expression having gone more serious. “That’s what’s so brilliant about children. Their love is absolutely unconditional. They haven’t learned yet to be stingy with it, and if I have my way, they never will.”
—:—
“I’m going to ask your sister to marry me,” blurted Kade when he and Mac were less than halfway down the block.
“Yeah?”
Kade nodded.
“When?”
“Tonight.”
“Right. Well, good. She loves you. You love her. No need to make it complicated. Let’s see the ring.”
The Ring. A ring. He’d completely forgotten that part.
Mac laughed. “Lucky for you, it’s early.” He pointed to a jeweler’s shop across the way. “Just get her something simple, and she’ll adore it.”
“Uh…” Kade looked over at the shop window. “You think I should?”
“What? Get a ring? Don’t be daft. You can’t propose without a ring, mate. Come on, I’ll help you choose.”
Twenty minutes later they walked out of the shop with a far more elaborate ring than Mac had initially suggested. As soon as Kade saw the diamond flanked by two sapphires, he knew that was the one.
“It’ll match her eyes,” he’d murmured.
When the jeweler asked Merrigan’s ring size, Kade again was stumped.
“Six,” said Mac. “Her fingers look about the same as Mary Pat’s,” he’d added once the jeweler had walked away.
“So, you want us to clear out?”
“Actually, I have a room at Forty-Five Park Lane.”
“Brilliant,” Mac exclaimed, smiling and patting Kade on the back. “We’ll get the kiddos squared away for bed, and then you can whisk her away.”
“You don’t mind?”
“Hell, I haven’t seen her for more than a couple hours in the last twenty years. Don’t want to overdo it, ya know?”
“Did you stop for a pint or two?” Mary Pat teased when they finally returned to the flat.
Kade saw Merrigan catch her brother shush his wife before turning to him. “Did you?”
“We were bonding.”
She laughed, and he loved the sound of it. It was only one of so many things he loved about the woman who he’d known was an angel from the first time he saw her.
23
“I feel terrible just leaving,” Merrigan said when they got in the taxi. She was still stunned that her brother had said goodnight and that he hoped to see her tomorrow.
“He knew we wanted to have some time alone,” Kade told her, running his finger down her cheek and over her lips.
“You don’t think it was rude, then?”
“That your brother practically pushed you out of your own apartment? No, not at all.”
She smiled and then flushed at the soothing and seductive sound of his voice.
“Do you have any idea how much I love you?” he asked, kissing her before she could respond.
When the taxi stopped in front of a hotel, Kade handed the driver a fistful of money and told him to keep the change. It must’ve included a generous tip based on the Cabby’s ear-to-ear grin. “Have a good night,” he said as Kade closed the car’s door.
He took Merrigan’s hand in his. “I had a room at another hotel, but I really wanted to bring you here.”
&nb
sp; “It doesn’t matter, we can—”
Kade cupped her chin and looked into her eyes. “But it does matter, Fatale. Everything matters tonight.”
“The Imperial Penthouse,” she overheard him say when he approached the front desk of the London’s Mandarin Oriental. Everything about the new hotel was refined. It exuded the elegance of a bygone era, and Merrigan loved it. She’d said it didn’t matter, but now that they were here, she agreed that it did.
Tonight would be the start of their life together. She could feel it in her bones and in her heart. Kade left no room for doubt that he loved her, and she loved him like she’d never dreamed was possible.
“What are you thinking?” he asked when he walked over with the small envelope that held the lift and room’s access cards.
She smiled. “That it’s perfect.”
There was an electricity between them as they rode the lift to the hotel’s top floor. They didn’t need to touch for it to crackle between them.
“I love you,” he said, looking over at her and smiling.
“I love you, Kade.”
Mary Pat had been right. The more she said aloud how she felt, the easier it was. Her heart pounded in the way it always did when he was near, and somehow she knew that would never change. He’d always take her breath away, even without trying. And when he tried? He brought her to a precipice of pleasure she’d never known before, and pushed her over, flying with her as she soared.
She longed to run her hands over the sculpted muscles of his lower abs that she could picture so clearly when she closed her eyes, or just run her fingers over arms so powerful they strained the sleeves of his dress shirt.
Suddenly Kade lunged at her and pushed her up against the side of the lift. “Whatever you’re thinking, you have to stop. Just until we get to the room, baby. Because if you keep this up, I’m going to take you hard and fast right here in this elevator.”
His eyes, so blue against the chiseled lines of his face, bore into hers, and they both breathed a sigh of relief when the lift dinged and then opened directly into the luxurious penthouse.
The Return (Butler Ranch Book 6) Page 20