by Lisa DeVore
****
Alex exhaled with relief. She hadn’t wanted him to leave. In fact, the thought made her sick to her stomach. Could she be falling for him so fast? Was that possible? Or was she using him as a buffer?
Alex still couldn’t erase the memory of that knife through her picture. They warned her of Owen. What was he up to? Who left it and what did they know? Wrapping herself in the quilt, she settled on the couch. She switched off the lamp and lost herself in thought. Two days ago she would have been jubilant at the sight of Owen at her door. That wasn’t the case tonight. This was her place…her territory. This was where she was going to start a new beginning for herself. Owen had no right to invade this space. He gave up the right.
What was Zach thinking right now? Did he think she invited Owen here? Had he heard Owen say he loved her? Maybe she should let Zach believe that. She had promised herself no complications here and they were building fast.
And Zach owned ski resorts? What was that all about it? He never mentioned it. Her thoughts were all over the place. She couldn’t stand it and headed for his room. The door was open.
“Zach?” she said cautiously.
A light suddenly illuminated the room and she jumped. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
Dear God, what was she doing? He was covered to his waist, but his chest was bare. The muscles didn’t stop at his biceps. Her eyes shot to the tattoo that started on his shoulder and dropped down his arm. Don’t stare.
“I, uh, I wanted to ask you something. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come in here.”
He sat up and patted the bed. “I’m awake. What’s bothering you?”
She moved slowly toward him and sat on the edge of the bed. “I was wondering what you were thinking.”
He chuckled. “I don’t think you want to know.”
Her stomach flipped. She rephrased the question. “What do you think about Owen?”
“I don’t like him.”
“Why?”
“I’m not sure what you’re asking, honey.”
Honey. One word and she was putty.
“Why don’t you like him?”
“What kind of guy is he anyway? He’s married and he shows up on your doorstep?”
Zach’s irritation was obvious and she replied defiantly, “I don’t date married men.”
“I’m not married,” he stated in a low tone.
She swallowed nervously. This was not going the way she hoped. “I can’t seem to say what’s on my mind. I’m not sure what’s on my mind.”
“Tell me. I want to know what you’re thinking. I’ll answer any question honestly, but you have to ask it.”
“I don’t want you believing I would date a married man.” She avoided his gaze. This was not why she came in here. Her thoughts were jumbled. Why was she in his bedroom?
“Let me ask you a question. If he wasn’t married would you have asked him to leave tonight?”
“Yes.” She didn’t miss a beat.
“Why?”
“Because you’re here.”
“What if I wouldn’t have been here tonight? What if I had gone home? Would he be here?”
“Is that what you’re thinking?” Her heart sank.
“You aren’t answering the question.”
She met his eyes. “I’m not sure.” The disappointment was evident on his face. “But, you are here and things are different,” she quickly added.
“How is it different?”
“They’re different because you make me feel different. And, no, I don’t think I would have let him stay. I want to be rid of him. I came here to put the past behind me and start a new life. I want to feel strong again.”
He moved toward her and grasped her chin in his hand, not allowing her to look away. “How do I make you feel, Lexie?”
She trembled under his touch. “I want you.”
“Is that all? I can give you that and we can move on.”
“When you said you were leaving I panicked. I wasn’t thinking about sex. I was thinking about how lonely I’d be without you.”
“Good,” he said softly. “I don’t want to leave. Now get out of here before I break a promise I made to myself.”
“What promise?”
“I’m not going to bring you to my bed until I know you’re in love with me.”
Curiosity killed the cat.
“Oh.” She stood staring down at this perfect man. There had to be something wrong with him.
“Scram. My resolve is waning.”
“Goodnight, Zach…and thank you.”
“For?”
What was she thanking him for? “For being here. For not telling Owen the truth.”
“That I’m really not your boyfriend?”
She nodded, the embarrassment was almost too much.
“I think I’ve decided I’d like to make it the truth.”
“I’m not sure that’s…” He stood up and the blanket fell away. All rational thought left her mind. She avoided looking down.
He pulled her to him and whispered in her ear, “Yes, soon it will be the truth and so much more.” His lips covered hers and she tensed at the contact. The kiss was short, but the bolts of desire shot through her body.
“I should go.” She stared at him and swallowed hard.
“You should.” He didn’t move. “You’re not ready for what’s going through both our minds. I want to make damn sure. I’m not sharing.”
She could only nod before quickly retreating to the safety of her own bedroom. Shutting the door behind her, she leaned against it releasing a loud exhale. Her heart thudded in her chest. The image of him burned in her brain.
Alex moved to her bedside and flipped on the light. She tossed the blankets back and crawled under them, pulling them to her chin. She thought of Zach across the hall. She could envision herself lying next to him. Her mind shifted unexpectedly to Owen and guilt invaded her thoughts. He was married. He left her. She didn’t owe him anything, least of all an explanation of who Zach was. So, why did the look on Owen’s face bother her when she told him about their bogus relationship?
She shook her head, forcing the image from her mind. Tomorrow was a new day. She had to let go of yesterday. There were so many memories. Her confused feelings overwhelmed her. Damn Owen Banks!
Chapter Eight
Alex opened her eyes. The room was black with darkness. She slowly closed and opened them again, making sure they were really open. The howling wind rattled the windows. She burrowed deeper under the covers. Maybe this seclusion thing wasn’t for her. She imagined the snow was flying now, but didn’t want to get out of the warm cocoon she created to satisfy her curiosity. A thud on the other side of the wall startled her. She wondered if Zach had heard the noise. The clock said 5:15 a.m. She sat up, attempting to gather the nerve to investigate.
She was wide awake now and smelled the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Unless a burglar, or bear, stopped by to have a cup her bet was Zach was up. She pushed aside the covers and shivered. The room was freezing. Who shut off the heat? Alex grabbed her robe, brushed her teeth and her hair, and splashed some water on her face. She jumped with the shock of the ice cold water.
“Zach? Why’s it so cold in here?” she asked, walking into the living room. Her eyes scanned the room nervously. There were candles lit and two oil lamps that shadowed the room.
“Good morning to you too, honey. Electric’s out,” he replied, lighting another candle.
“But, I smell coffee.” He tilted his head toward the fireplace.
Alex closed the robe tightly around her. “The water’s cold too.”
“My ski resort is on the other side of the mountain. Everything here runs on electricity. It’s all tied in.”
“So, we have no heat?” She wouldn’t panic.
“No. And the well pump works on electricity,” he warned, kneeling in front of the fireplace.
Alex knew what he was implying. “But, I just used the water in the bathroom.”
“Left over in the lines.” The panic must have shown in her face, because he quickly consoled her. “Don’t worry. We have plenty of wood…and snow. Have you looked outside?”
She shook her head. How could he see anything through this darkness?
“Really, it’s going to be okay. This kind of thing happens all the time when there’s a storm. That’s why I wasn’t happy you came alone.”
He stood and handed her a cup of coffee. The warmth was heavenly in her hands. “Thanks.”
“Sure.”
Why did this feel so awkward?
“So, what do we do to keep warm?” Did she really ask that? She didn’t have to look in the mirror to know her face was beet red.
He laughed at her obvious embarrassment. “It should warm up in here soon. I was sleeping and didn’t realize the electric was out. I have the wood stove burning in the kitchen and the fireplace. We might have to sleep in here, though, until they get it fixed.”
“How long will that take?” She bit her lower lip nervously.
“Depends. Sometimes it’s a couple of days, sometimes weeks.”
“You’re serious?”
“As a heart attack.”
She rolled her eyes and flopped on the couch. “How am I going to get any work done if I can’t turn on my computer?”
He sat in the chair opposite her. “We’ll think of other ways to keep busy.”
Okay, Zach, I can play your game. “What other things?”
“You forgetting that actor. Christmas. Us.”
Alex didn’t know what she expected, but that wasn’t on the list. “What actor?” She raised her eyes to his.
“That’s a start.” A sexy smile touched his lips. “We’re going to have plenty of quality time to get to know each other. Electricity brings with it distraction.”
The electricity she was feeling in the room was very distracting. “I don’t mind the fire for warmth and the candles for light, but the whole bathroom thing…” her voice trailed off.
“You’ve never been camping?”
“Camping is a condo on the beach,” she retorted.
“I still can’t believe you came up here on your own.” He shook his head in disbelief.
“The pamphlet said secluded, not pre-historic.” She shivered again.
He rose from the chair and grabbed the blanket. This time he sat beside her and wrapped it around them both, holding her close. “Better?”
She sighed, taking in the smell of his aftershave. “You smell wonderful.” She needed to replace the filter between her brain and her mouth. “I really said that out loud, didn’t I?”
Alex loved the sound of his laughter. It was almost worth the horror.
“Yeah, you said that out loud. I have an entire bottle with me. We’re good for a while,” he teased.
“Zach?”
“Yeah?”
“How old are you?” She rested her head against his chest.
“Thirty-two. You?”
“Thirty. Why aren’t you married? If you were any more perfect you would walk on water.”
“I was going to ask you the same thing.”
“I thought I would be by now, but you know how that went.” She went on to explain, “I didn’t have much of a chance to meet anyone outside of the business. The first book I wrote was a big hit for the publishing company. They sold the rights for several TV movies. I didn’t have time for a social life. I wrote, edited, promoted, repeated.”
“That’s how you met Owen Banks?”
She flinched at the mention of his name. Her mind flitted back to the day she first saw him. He had the classic good looks…the charm. He was the entire package, or so she thought. Alex had been included in the casting. She created the characters and they wanted her input. She remembered telling the casting director Owen had stepped out of her mind. No one else could play the part. Alex was a little star struck at first, but he had been so attentive to her after he found out she pushed for them to hire him. His gratitude was obvious. She was on set every day and was always available for the actors to ask questions. She and Owen started spending more time together, the rumors swirled, and the next thing she knew they were inseparable.
She nodded. “We spent a lot of time together. I guess I was flattered into believing the Hollywood dream. I should have known better. Those relationships never last.”
“I suppose when something is based on make believe it’s hard to make a go of it.”
She considered what he said. He was right. It was all pretend.
“I’m real, Lexie.”
“I know. And that scares me.”
“Why?”
“Maybe I don’t know how to deal with anyone outside the pages of a book,” she answered glumly and changed the subject. “So, why aren’t you married with 2.2 kids?”
“I’ve been waiting for you.” He kissed the top of her head.
“Great pick up line.” She laughed.
“It’s no line,” he answered seriously.
“You can’t be real.”
“Why is that? You don’t believe in fate…destiny?” He didn’t wait for a reply. “I figured I would know when the right woman came along. I never even considered marriage. I had some fun and moved on. I was busy building ski resorts.”
Alex didn’t want to think about who he was having fun with. “So, we’re a couple of hopeless workaholics.”
“I didn’t say that. I said I was waiting for the right woman. I think I finally found her.”
Chapter Nine
Alex took a sip of her coffee. How did she reply to that?
“Too much honesty?” he asked.
Zach Camden didn’t mince words. “We just met. How could you possibly think I’m the one? Besides, I’m here to work, not to start another hopeless relationship.” Okay, there was a healthy dose of the truth. She wasn’t looking for another relationship. Good God, her mind was still stuck in one that ended two years ago! But why did being here with him seem so right?
“I have my work cut out for me. If he shows his face here again I won’t be as nice.”
Alex knew who he was referring to, but kept silent.
“So, tell me about Christmas,” he coaxed, getting up to throw another log on the fire.
She watched him with appreciation. He was easy on the eyes. “Do we have to?”
“Yes. I need to know what I’m up against.” He returned to her side and grabbed his coffee mug.
“Two years ago I was expecting an engagement ring for Christmas and got dumped. That’s the short of it.” Alex attempted to keep all emotion from her voice.
“You realize Christmas had nothing to do with it, right?”
“Of course, but everything about Christmas reminds me…”
“Go on. Reminds you of what?”
“I don’t like discussing this with you.”
“If you’re going to let go of the past you need to confront it.”
“Are you a shrink too?” She attempted to lighten the mood.
“You’re changing the subject,” Zach accused.
“I’m trying to, but you won’t let me.” She thought back to that day, running it through her mind before sharing it with him. “My parents are wealthy and always have a huge Christmas Eve party. They live in New York. It’s a big social event I dread every year, but I always cave. He flew home with me. I stayed with my parents, but he insisted on staying at a hotel. Owen never showed up, never called. I called his cell phone a zillion times, but he never picked up. I thought something happened to him.” Alex drifted back to that night—the music, the dancing…she could still see the lighted Christmas tree and the all familiar dread returned to the pit of her stomach.
Zach remained silent.
She swallowed to clear a lump in her throat. “I cried myself to sleep watching the snow fall outside my window. I waited to hear from him all day. He finally called Christmas night and asked to see me. I was sure this was the night he was going to ask me.
He didn’t even pick me up. He sent a limo to take me to a restaurant where he waited. I thought he was being romantic. God, I was so stupid.” She sighed.
“No, Lexie, you weren’t the stupid one.”
She glanced at him before going back in time. Alex could still visualize Owen turning toward her with a look of pity. That’s what she hated the most, the humiliation. “Owen told me there, on Christmas, we were done. He had fallen in love with his co-star. He had been with her Christmas Eve.” Alex looked directly into Zach’s eyes. “I hate Christmas because that’s when my life fell apart.”
He wrapped his arms around her. “No, honey, that’s when your life began. The lie ended. Change sometimes hurts. Some of the best things that ever happened to me hurt the worst.”
“What do you mean?”
“I wasn’t raised by loving parents. They didn’t love each other and they didn’t care about me. But, it made me who I am now. I was determined to show them I’d be somebody, but then somewhere along the line that quit mattering. I wanted to be the best I could be for me. I learned early on what I didn’t want in a relationship. I had perfect role models for that. I want to marry my best friend.” He stroked her cheek. “You didn’t end up with him because you deserve more.” They were both silent for a minute before he continued. “Why did you come here, really?”
“To finish the last book of the series, which leads to the last movie I’m contracted for. The sooner I get it done, the sooner Owen Banks is out of my life for good.”
“Do you really believe that?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because you still love the guy. You’re here to avoid the memories. You can’t hide from Christmas forever. I wish I would have met you first.”
He wasn’t angry when he said it. Sadness filled his voice.
“I’m not in love with him,” she denied.
“Okay, so maybe not him, but the idea of what you thought your life was going to be. You had it planned out, didn’t you?”
Her lips parted in protest, but he was right. She planned everything. “When he was here I felt nothing for him.”
“Honestly?” he challenged.
“You’re right. I did have feelings…anger and humiliation.”