“Oh my God,” I breathed. Of all the excuses I thought he’d come up with, there was no way I expected something like this. “Eric, my God. What are you really saying?”
I couldn’t imagine something like that happening to me.
Although he gave me a little smile the pain was in his eyes. It was the same look I recalled that night so long ago. He looked the same. Like he was trying to hold it in, but his eyes gave him away.
“My uncle Rory, is my real father. It’s a messy situation. He’s out of prison now. Doesn’t know I know, but I hope to tell him one day.” He sighed and looked away. His gaze moved to the table, stayed there.
I smoothed my hand over to his resting on the table and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. It was only then climbed back up to meet mine.
“I’m sorry,” I told him.
“Thank you.” he glanced down at my hand on his.
“Are you okay?”
He smirked. “I’m okay today. Every day is different.”
“Eric, that’s a really big deal and you told me.” It was something private and while it wasn’t the first kind of story I’d heard like that, it was different when it happened to someone you knew.
He nodded with conviction in his eyes. “It’s not enough of an excuse. You didn’t deserve what I did to you. Hearing my dad wasn’t really my father kind of sent me over the edge. When it happened, I just wanted to escape. I wanted to escape into something that could take it away. Happiness maybe. That was you for me. The only woman I’d ever been with who wasn’t with me because I was an athlete or the jock who had it all. Fame and fortune. You didn’t give a rat’s ass who or what I was. You were with me for me. So, I escaped in you, and then the truth came back to me straight after. The truth hit me, and I just didn’t want to talk about it, not to anyone. In my warped brain, I figured it was better for you to think of me as The Dog than know the truth. I am really sorry I completely messed up. I genuinely mean that.” He stood up. “Now you know what happened and why I won’t stop trying. Not till you tell me you’re done with me.”
He held my gaze as he said that, and a smooth smile tipped the corners of his sensual lips as we stared at each other and I didn’t answer.
I couldn’t, and I couldn’t lie to myself either. I wasn’t done with him.
He inclined his head to the side. “Never really did get that chance to surprise you, Mia Cartwright.”
“No… you didn’t,” I answered.
He grinned, and with a curt nod, he left as I continued to stare after him, watching as he walked out, moved down the corridor in a confident stride, and turned the corner until I could no longer see him.
God… that was a lot to process.
A lot my heart yearned for and clung to.
I didn’t realize how badly I’d wanted an answer to that question of why he’d left me after something I couldn’t call just sex.
He said it wasn’t an excuse, but truth be told, if I’d been in his shoes, hearing such a thing would have sent me over the edge too.
I understood it, understood his actions although it didn’t make it okay.
It didn’t make the hurt I felt after okay. Or the fact that no matter how hard I’d tried to forget him, he just kept coming back to my mind, and I didn’t know where I went wrong.
I couldn’t imagine that I could have had such explosive feelings for him and not be with him.
It was like an explosion of emotions, of everything I could possibly have felt.
That was what it felt like, and now that I knew the truth, I wanted it again.
I craved it again.
But did that mean I should have it?
One thing was for certain: my mind was definitely open. It absolutely was.
In the past, when my mind had taken on a life of its own, it tapped into my carpe diem ethos of life and didn’t give a shit about logic, right or wrong.
Didn’t Madam Phoebe say the odds were in my favor and the universe on my side?
Maybe I really could do something wild today, and the something could be giving into my wild passions and allowing them to guide me to what I wanted.
Carpe diem…
Right now, I wanted him to take that chance of his to surprise me.
Just like I had before.
Chapter 8
Mia
* * *
‘Take charge of your decisions today. You're the one who knows what’s best for you. Stop looking for guidance about life from others and find the answers you seek inside you. You already know what you want to do. Just do it.’- Madam Phoebe
18 Months ago…
Madam Phoebe never let me down. Her advice was always on the mark, even today, when I truthfully was stepping well outside my comfort zone.
Sometimes when I read my horoscope, I felt that the same message could mean different things to me on different days and it depended on my mood.
Today’s message I thought a hundred percent spoke to my inner desires.
Tonight was the night. Saturday. And I was here at the opera house. Ready for my non-date.
I’d just gotten out of my car and walked up to the reception, where the line of people waiting to be seated in the theatre curved around the corner to the second exit.
Damn, I didn’t know it was going to be so packed, but then, what did I expect for a Saturday night? And after the great reviews Time Out gave the last performance, this wasn’t really surprising.
I looked past the people, and then I saw him. My gaze landed on him standing over by the entrance to the foyer, and my pulse quickened.
Eric Declan in his casual T-shirt and Levi’s the other day could give any male model a run for their money. Him dressed up in a black blazer and white dress shirt was a whole other story. The fact that he’d had his beard trimmed and his hair shaped too just added to the perfect vision of him.
Wide powerful shoulders moved with grace as he walked toward me, and those legs, long and athletic, moved with the confidence of a man who was sure of himself. Like he owned the world.
Why didn’t I like athletes again?
He made me forget.
“You showed,” he stated when he got up to me, flashing me a dazzling smile that made heat creep up my cheeks.
“Sure. And you’re here early.” Early and looking better than a million dollars.
“I am here and early. But not early enough.” He motioned to the queue of people. “I have good news and bad news. Which do you want first?”
“Hmmm, I think I want the bad news. Always best to get the sting first.” I raised my shoulders into a shrug.
He chuckled. “Okay, I like that. So… the bad news is the tickets are all sold out. I thought as I was early, I’d grab them. Not that I was being presumptuous in thinking this was a date or anything like that.”
I smiled even though that was supposed to be the bad news. “You would have been forgiven if you bought me a ticket. Of course, since this isn’t a date, I would have reimbursed you the cost.”
“Sure, of course, so then I would have had to find some excuse to give it back to you. But since that never happened, we don’t have to worry about it.” He nodded firmly.
“Well… I guess I’ll see you around, then.” I turned to go, but I was just messing with him. He did exactly what I hoped he would do and caught my arm.
“You didn’t wait to hear the good news,” he said quickly.
I, however, was focusing on his hand on my arm and the warmth that seeped into me. Hot and sexual from the masculine energy he exuded.
He looked down at his hand too and released me.
“What was the good news?” I asked, meeting his gaze.
“I got us the best seats in the house,” he answered, looking proud of himself.
“But you just said that the tickets were sold out.”
“I did, but I still got us the best seats.”
“Is that because you’re Eric Declan and they just hustled some poor person out of their seats
to give them to you?” I raised my brows.
He gave me a wolfish grin. “No, Mia Cartwright. That’s more the sort of thing to happen to you.”
“I don’t throw my name around.”
“Neither do I. I got these seats legit. You coming?” he asked, turning his smile up a notch.
“I’m coming.”
He started walking, and I fell in step.
I definitely had to admit that when we got to the rooftop, I was definitely thrown. We stood at the rooftop on the terrace, and there was a locked metal rail gate in front of us.
Eric simply twisted the lock like he’d done it habitually, and it snapped open, allowing the gate to swing wide before us.
“Breaking and entering. I’m not going to jail with you.” I giggled.
“Don’t worry. This isn’t anything of the sort. If I were breaking and entering, I’d bring my tools. Also, there’s nothing here to steal.”
“That sounds a lot like you’ve broken and entered before,” I stated as he waved his hands for me to walk in ahead of him.
“Yes, I have. I was the bad boy in high school. Can’t help the rebel in me. I stopped when I ended up in juvie and had the threat of being kicked off the football team hanging over my head.”
I looked him over with interest. “Oh my gosh, you went to juvie?”
“It was just one time, princess.” He winked.
I smiled as he ushered me over to a benched area. There was a little coffee house set up with the shutters closed, but even in the dark it looked like a great hangout spot. I must have been to this opera house hundreds of times and never knew this place was up here. Mom and I always went to Café Tosi before we went to a show.
He motioned to the bench furthest away, and I gasped when I saw what were indeed the best seats in the house.
Just by the bench was a glass roof that gave a direct view of the stage. We were just above the stage and the orchestra pit.
I couldn’t help myself. I rushed over and looked down below us at the sheer magnificence. The ballet would start in twenty minutes, and we’d see everything.
I looked back to him and noted how proud he looked.
“See, told you we had the best seats. Surprised yet? As in surprised by me?”
There was no way I was going to say yes and make his head swell any bigger than it already was.
“This is nice, but unfortunately, it takes a lot more than that to surprise me.”
“Well, damn.” He pretended to look deflated.
“I am impressed though,” I offered. I thought I should tell him that.
“Yeah?” His eyes sparkled.
“Hmmm hmmm.”
“Well, my lady, take your seat. If this ballet is anything like the reviews say, we’re in for a good show.” He waved his hand over the bench.
“You read the reviews?” I asked as I lowered myself to sit. He sat next to me, his shoulders brushing mine.
“I did. I heard it was outstanding.”
“I can’t imagine you do this. Go to the ballet. How did you even know about up here?”
“My uncle. After practice, sometimes we’d finish up here and watch the actors or dancers practice. It was cool. It was how he managed to tame me down. I was really wild.” He smirked, unleashing his gorgeous dimples.
“Wild? And you’re not wild now?” I had a perfect recollection of being at an afterparty and seeing him leave with two women on his arm. Every time I seen Eric at a party or some get together he’d either had a woman on his arm or was doing some kind of challenge. Beer drinking, arm wrestling, assholing, and my least favorite –strip poker.
Wild.
“Never said that. But there’re different levels of wild. I like to do what I want. I do mad, crazy shit even if I know I don’t have a chance in hell. But I do it. It’s why they call me The Dog on the field.” His eyes twinkled under the moonlight, and I had to rein myself in from getting too sucked in.
He was the dog on the field, but off the field he was that too. It was strange though. He didn’t seem like that with me.
“I like to do what I want too. Carpe diem.” I told him.
“Yeah?”
“Uh huhh.”
“Is this a carpe diem moment?” He looked me over with curiosity.
“Maybe.”
The striking sound of violin music flowed from below, and we both smiled at each other as the ballet begun.
For a non-date, this was possibly the best date I’d ever been on.
* * *
It was one a.m.
And I only knew that because my phone buzzed in my purse as it started to ring.
I’d let it go to voicemail, but then it buzzed again with a few messages.
It was only then I got it out, just to see who was trying to reach me at this hour.
I knew it wouldn’t have been one of my sisters, and it wasn’t. It was John the marine. He was on leave and calling me, probably to hook up.
I only read the preview of the text before I shoved the phone back in my purse so I could return my focus to the man before me.
It was one a.m., the ballet, which we truly enjoyed, had finished hours ago, and yet we were still up here talking.
Just talking, and I’d laughed so hard a few times at his jokes and crazy stories that I cried. It was definitely a rarity because that never happened. I only laughed and joked around like that with my sisters, and probably Gilly.
Now that I knew it was so late and we were still here, my awareness returned with the warning that I did not go for jocks.
“I should get going,” I said. My voice quivered a little with an edge of nerves that was new to me. It was the way he was looking at me. With interest, like he wanted to know more. More about me. “You too. I’m sure you must wake up early to do some crazy training.”
He smiled wide then chuckled. “I do. I just didn’t mind the Mia 101 rundown.”
“What? I wasn’t doing that.” I laughed.
“Well, I know at least twenty more things about you that I didn’t know yesterday. Including the whole horoscope thing. I don’t know anyone who follows their horoscope that much.”
“Hey, I hope that’s a positive comment. You can thank Madam Phoebe for my cameo tonight.”
“Cameo? Woman, it’s one a.m., and tonight was last night. We’re in the morning zone. You didn’t cameo anything; you were the leading actress.”
I had to smile at that. With the stage below closed up, we were only lit by the moonlight and a few of the building lights that lined the car park. It gave him an alluring glow.
“Okay, fine, I was lead. As you’re here, you’re lead too. And I still have to go. I don’t want wrinkles. Have to get my beauty sleep.” I knew it sounded funny, but I was being serious.
“Oh my gosh, you’re actually serious? You’re ending our date because you don’t want wrinkles?” He raised his brows.
“Yes, also, this isn’t a date. Remember that. Don’t want you to get the wrong idea or think I led you on or something.” I stood up, and he gave me an incredulous stare. Right before he started laughing. “What? What’s funny now?”
“Nothing, Miss Mia Cartwright. You are just one interesting being.” He looked me over with the interest of which he spoke. “Also, I don’t think I’ve been turned down that many times in one week before.”
“Well, there’s a first for everything.” I nodded.
“Okay, sure…” He stood too. “Can I at least walk you to your car on account of it being super late and creepers could be hanging around the car park?”
I pretended to consider it. “Okay, I suppose that would be okay.”
Another smile inched across his lips.
He walked me to my car, all the while giving me the occasional glance because I was purposely silent.
“So, is this it? I don’t know what excuse I can make up to see you again that doesn’t sound lame or obvious,” he asked, rocking back on his heels.
I smiled at his attempt, won
dering if I should at least give him a chance. It could be a bad idea for a whole bunch of reasons but I was curious.
“I’m pretty sure I’ll see you around,” I teased.
He looked deflated. “Around?”
“Hmmm hmm.”
“Can I at least have your number? That way I can check if you got home safe.” He nodded like that was a great idea.
I gave guys my number all the time, except I knew they’d only use it seldomly, if ever. After a date, that was usually it. My military guys would tend to go home, go back on duty, and I’d either never see them again, or maybe there’d be the occasional one like John who’d contact me when they were home on leave.
I was fine with that.
What I wasn’t fine with was giving a guy who I had to admit that I was absolutely starting to like my number. That was different.
“No.” I shook my head and actually felt that was the wrong answer.
“God… woman, you are one serious challenge. It’s fine… I like that.”
“Challenge? You’re supposed to give up the goose now.”
“Goose? Pretty sure it’s the ghost or the chase.” He laughed.
My grandpa always had these weird sayings. He said that one a lot, so I thought it was a thing.
“God, whatever, goose or ghost.” I rolled my eyes at him. “See you around, and good luck for the Super Bowl. I had a great time tonight.”
I got in my car before he could say anything else.
He just watched me. I gave him a little smile as I set off and gasped when I saw him running next to the car.
I wasn’t driving fast because I was still in the parking lot, but in about two seconds I would be speeding out of here.
“What are you doing?” I snapped.
“Making sure you get home safe.”
That sounded crazy. “What the hell is wrong with you?” I slowed down.
“Nothing. The gentleman part of me just wants to make sure you get home safe.”
God, if I were running the way he was, I wouldn’t have been able to talk, much less run at all. The Centaurs linebacker, however, made it look like it was a stroll in the park.
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