As of now, we were officially an hour late. Abby had called Gilly to let him know she’d come back here with me and the whole damn night was a mess.
“Mia, remember the whole Giselle thing with Gilly?” she asked, raising her brows.
My shoulders slumped, and I shook my head at her. It wasn’t the same thing.
Giselle was Gilly’s ex who’d worked overtime to get him back. When she’d found out Gilly was with Abby, she’d staged this whole thing to make it look like they were sleeping together. It was actually me who’d told Abby that Gilly would never do something like that to her, and she’d believed me. Of course, it turned out to be a pile of shit and they got married and lived happily ever after.
“It’s not the same. You never saw Giselle and Gilly together. And this is Eric.”
Abby sighed with frustration. “Okay… maybe it’s a little different, but the similarity is that I had to rise above something I saw and process it. You can only do that if you speak to him. Mia, I know firsthand if this were some guy you didn’t care about, we wouldn’t be here. You would have just picked up another guy at the club.”
I pressed my lips together. It was hard to believe that was me. That life used to be my normal. It would have been no big deal if anything remotely close to tonight had happened. I’d just move on to the next guy indeed, and there was always another guy.
I was different now. It bothered me. It bothered the hell out of me.
The front door sounded, and we both looked toward the corridor.
Eric walked in, and when his gaze landed on me on the sofa, he frowned.
“What are you guys doing here?” he asked.
Abby stood up and narrowed her gaze at him. “You’re about to find out, and I truly hope for your sake you have a good excuse.”
She glared at him as she walked out and left us.
When he snapped his attention back to me, I stood and settled the cushion back on the sofa.
“Mia, what the hell’s going on? I called you, and you didn’t answer. Why?”
I drew in a deep breath, willing myself to stay calm and focused. This didn’t need to be an argument.
“We got there early and saw you with Tiffany and someone else.”
He blinked and fixated on me. “And what?”
I frowned. “Eric, she gave you her underwear, and I saw you take her hand and lead her away.”
“God… Mia.” He sighed and let out a frustrated breath. “I didn’t do anything. I swear to you. They were drunk, and I ordered a taxi for them. That’s all. A taxi home.”
I really wanted to believe that, but the annoyance of the whole thing stopped me from trying. “And what did you do with her panties?”
“Ditch them in the bin. Mia, what the hell do you think I did?” He looked at me with wide eyes.
“Eric, please tell me you see this from my perspective. Those women were all over you. I’ve seen you like that before.”
“Not when I was with you. Mia, I get that what you saw upset you. I get it, and I’m sorry, but fucking hell, to just assume I was cheating on you is complete shit… I’m not a cheater, and most of all, I would never cheat on you. Or disrespect you in any way by acting like an asshole. I grew up with cheaters, and fuck, I’m the byproduct of cheating. It’s not my style, and I would never do that to you. But here, see for yourself.” He pulled out his phone, stepped closer, and showed it to me.
On the screen was a taxi listing for two addresses. One in West Beverley for Tiffany Van Den Hough and another for Amber Patterson in Malibu. The listing was made an hour ago. That would have made it around the time Abby and I left the club.
I swallowed hard, not knowing what to say now.
He looked at me, and the spark that was normally there whenever he looked at me was gone.
“I play football for a national team who won the Super Bowl twice in a row. Your father owns the team, so you know how popular we are. Women are always throwing themselves at me. I can’t stop that from happening. However, it’s what I do about it that matters. If you see me do something questionable, then that’s my bad. But you saw nothing like that. You tell me you love me, but you don’t trust me. This can’t work if you don’t trust me.”
Numbness filled me, because he was right. “I’m sorry. I just saw what I saw and jumped to the conclusion of what it meant. What I thought it meant.”
He shook his head. “You can’t do that. What kind of relationship can we have if you do that?”
“Not a good one,” I answered.
“Mia.” He bit the inside of his lip, and the frown on his face deepened. “This is
part and parcel of a bigger problem.”
“Bigger problem?”
“Yes. It’s you trying to rein in control because you think I’m going to hurt you.”
I truly hated that he knew me so damn well. “Eric, is it wrong for me to want to protect myself?”
“No, it’s not, but there’s a limit. I foolishly gave you control of us after the auction because I wanted you to see that we could be good together, and we are. But you can’t control everything. That’s where trust comes in. You actually thought I cheated on you after all we’ve been through?”
Now I felt completely foolish and the guilt tugged on my heart.
“Eric, I’m sorry.”
“Mia… it’s not about being sorry. It’s about trust. Do you trust me?” His gaze clung to mine, and I opened my mouth to give him the obvious answer, which should have been anything to save us, but nothing came.
But… the reason he’d asked the question was because he already knew the answer.
He knew I wouldn’t be able to say yes.
The fear that washed through me was similar to what I’d experienced when I was afraid to fall for him. I’d taken the plunge and allowed myself to fall, but I never thought of what would come after. This part. The part where I’d see him with women like I did tonight because he was who he was, and I’d just have to trust him.
He was an athlete, and the popularity was the part I’d hated the most. With the football season starting in a little over six weeks, he’d be away a lot travelling. He’d be going here, there, and everywhere. God knew how his popularity would rise after four million women had voted for him on Twitter prior to the auction and that damn Tiffany was willing to pay three million for a date with him.
This was the reality of the situation, and I was completely aware that I was just staring at him. Gawking like a fool who couldn’t talk.
The seconds that passed as he waited for the answer felt like forever, and if I said yes right now, we’d know it for a lie. After all, my actions tonight spoke loud and clear that I didn’t trust him. And I couldn’t tell him I trusted him because I couldn’t lie to him.
He bowed his head and sighed, shoulders loosening in defeat. When he looked back to me, his gaze hardened.
“You know what, Mia? How about we don’t do this thing we are doing anymore until you can answer the question,” he stated cold and hard, hurt.
Carpe diem made me want to seize the moment and salvage it somehow, but fear made my chest tighten and my lungs squeeze. I’d never heard him sound so hurt, and still, I took the coward’s way out and watched him leave.
I watched him walk out, never looking back, leaving me.
Control was the thing I had in my life that I’d always been proud of.
Control freak. That was me.
What did I always tell Vanessa?
What diva would I be today?
Today I was the stupid one because the truth was, I’d never lived my life seizing the moment or taking everything as it came.
I lived in fear. I couldn’t trust because I was afraid of what would happen to me if the day came and I trusted and got so hurt I’d be broken.
That was the problem.
Me.
I was the coward.
Chapter 21
Eric
* * *
Trust…
&
nbsp; It was the one thing that got me and snapped me.
That was the best way I could describe what had happened to me last night.
I was the kind of guy who kept going until something had to physically stop me. I was the guy who would take the one-percent chance out of a million just because there was some element of hope.
Take that away, and it meant I didn’t have a wing or prayer.
Mia didn’t trust me, and that meant there was little point in trying.
Logic told me that, anger sent me back to the bar to get wasted, then self-pity sent me to the comfort of my best friend bright and early this morning.
“Drink some more water,” Gilly said, placing a glass of water down on the table. Affected from the overindulgence of alcohol, my whole body felt fragile, like the slightest breeze could break me. The echo of the glass on the hard wood table rippled right through me, sounding like he’d hit the table with a sledgehammer.
I squinted and winced from the impact.
“Christ, you really do look terrible,” he added.
Abby came into the kitchen carrying Zack and stopped short when she saw me. I still couldn’t quite bring myself up to speed with reality and think of Gilly as married with a wife and child.
And then there was the way he always brightened up when he saw them. Like now. He smiled at Abby and Zack, while Abby frowned at me.
“Eric, I trust you had that good excuse.” She scowled, foot tapping.
“Ughh,” I sighed and rested my head in my hands, then on the desk. “Cartwright women…”
That was all I could say. Not even women, but Cartwright women. I hadn’t had much dealings with Taylor or Vanessa, and their mom was really nice, but the other two, Abby and Mia, were definitely cut from the same cloth of crazy and put on earth to make me crazy too.
“I got this, babe.” Gilly smirked. “Want me to take Zack?”
“No, we thought we’d go to the baby massage group,” Abby bubbled, all annoyance draining from her face as she looked at Zack, who looked like a mini version of Gilly minus the lip ring.
“Have fun.” Gilly smiled and looked like the happiest man on earth when Abby came over and gave him a kiss. Me, she gave that scowl again.
“Eric, please don’t drool on my table.” She wagged her pointer at me and lifted her head. “Also, you smell like you’ve been living in a barn. The smell and you better be gone by the time I get back.”
Gilly laughed like it really was funny as Abby left us.
I straightened and looked at him. “Man, your wife treats me like a damn animal.”
“That’s her on a good day.” Gilly chuckled. “Also, that’s her on your side.”
“What?” I failed to see how she could be on my side and talk to me like that.
“Yeah, she’s on your side. Probably because she gets our way of life a little more than Mia does. Remember, Mia’s not used to hanging around a bunch of athletes where yes, the panties were definitely something to get worked up over, but nothing in the grand scheme of things. Abby was used to women all over me back when she was just my best friend, and she’s used to it now, except they’re all afraid of her and would never be so stupid as to let her see them try to get near me.”
He smiled.
I tried to smile too. It was funny. Abby really was quite a character, but it didn’t help me much right now.
“Abby trusts you, Gilly. She knows that a hundred women could be throwing themselves at you, and you’d still choose her. She knows you could be in a room with a million of the most beautiful women on the planet, and there would only be her for you. She knows that. You didn’t have to tell her, because all that you do is enough. That trust is enough. I don’t have that. When you have that, you have something to work with.”
“Eric, people are different. Some are more challenging than others. All of what you said is true, but you can’t think of them as the same. Years back with the whole Giselle thing, you told me I had to give Abby time. We may be happy now, and it may seem all perfect, but there was a chance it might not have been. There was that chance that I could have been the guy on the outside looking in and watching her raise our baby by herself. So, now I’m going to tell you nearly the same thing except with the caution of thinking about what you really want.”
I looked at him and thought about it.
God knew I’d been more than patient with Mia. How many times had the woman told me no and yet I kept on going? Following her around like the dog they called me.
It was the first time that I’d thought that and felt like an idiot, and an even bigger idiot for still wanting her.
What the hell more was I supposed to do?
“What I want?” I asked.
“Yeah, because sometimes, as badly as you might want something, you have to know when to stop trying. Your biggest strength can sometimes be a weakness. I’ve watched you turn a game around when we all thought we had no chance, but you took charge and turned it around. It’s an admirable quality, but sometimes it can hurt you. I wouldn’t be a friend if I didn’t tell you that, or… point out the length of time you’ve been chasing Mia. So, if this feels like the point at which it’s time to stop, you stop. But if there’s a part of you, that good old part of you that keeps trying… well, you know what to do.”
They were wise words. Definitely wise.
The truth was, it was logic that told me to stop. Last night, as I looked at Mia and I had to pull out my phone with evidence of what I was doing with Tiffany, logic had told me to stop then.
Then betrayed me.
Always clinging to her. It had decided my fate on the roadside when I saw her with her broken-down car and I got dragged into this whirlwind of a romance that made me love’s fool.
I loved her. I loved her. I truly did. I just wasn’t sure if it was enough when she didn’t trust me.
So…
To give up, or not to give up?
That was the question.
Chapter 22
Mia
Words couldn’t quite describe how awful I felt.
And lost.
Not lost in happiness like I was when I was with Eric. But the other kind, where it was like I was floating around aimlessly with no purpose and nothing to grab on to.
I couldn’t go to work this morning.
Day two of not being with Eric, and I was a mess.
Usually, I’d feel fine staying home, and when my sisters had moved out, I might have cried at first because I missed them, but then I was fine. Living on my own carried a certain freedom to it that was empowering.
Then it all changed when Eric and I got together. Everything changed, and I didn’t realize I was alone until I was alone, and it wasn’t a nice feeling.
I got up this morning, got dressed, and headed to the one place I knew could make me feel better.
Mom and Dad.
They were the busiest people on earth, but since the auction, they’d taken to taking Fridays off.
I was sure though that they’d still be working around the house or doing something in the garden. Mom loved the garden. We all did, and since it went on for acres, when we were little, we all used to pretend it was some magical land with all the archways and grooves.
As I drove up the drive, I noticed Vanessa’s car was here.
She, like me, should have been at work hours ago.
Since she was the baby, it wasn’t unusual to find her near Mom and Dad.
Music sounded as I opened the door and went inside.
Old forties music. The stuff my grandparents and parents loved.
It was so loud and seemed to come from one of the halls.
I looked up at the curve of the grand staircase and caught a glimpse of Vanessa. I could have easily missed her if I hadn’t looked up.
She was sitting cross legged on the second floor, and she seemed to be watching something.
When we were kids, that was the spot we’d use to hide and spy on the grown-ups when my parents would th
row parties here.
I walked up the stairs to join Vanessa. It wasn’t until I got to the top step that I saw what she was looking at. Down below us were my parents, dancing.
Dancing… the waltz. Off to the corer was a thin, bald man who was swaying his head to the side as they danced around the room.
My parents looked so happy, happier than I’d ever seen them. Mom was always talking about ball room dancing, and when last I checked, my father, who was the biggest football fan, couldn’t dance to save his life. Yet there he was. Apparently, he’d learned, and he was dancing with my mother as if they were born for it.
Slowly, I moved and sat next to Vanessa, who looked over at me. Her eyes were red, like she’d been crying.
“What happened to you?” I had to ask. I kept my voice down low though so as not to interrupt the dancing.
“Bad date. Really, really bad date. Tony’s wife turned up with his one-year old son.”
My mouth dropped. Vanessa had been dating Tony for the last two months. I actually thought he was a keeper.
“He’s married? And has a child?” I gasped.
“Yeah.” A tear ran down her cheek, but she quickly wiped it away.
I gave her a hug. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’m… okay.” It was clearly a lie because she looked like she was fighting tears. “I’m trying. It’s just that I really liked him. Never thought he’d turn out to be such an ass. Married with a child. His wife called me scum. She said people like me thought they could wreck people’s homes because of who I am.”
“Oh God Vanessa. I’m so sorry. I know it’s awful, but please don’t take it to heart. Tony is the problem here. Not you.”
She pulled away and straightened, wiping away more tears. “I know. I still feel like shit though. I feel so bad. Mia, I was going to sleep with him. Imagine how awful I’d feel then.”
I couldn’t answer because I knew she’d hate herself for doing such a thing on one hand, and as far as I knew, she was still a virgin. I would have been livid for her and killed Tony with my bare hands if she’d lost it to him.
Auction Time: Bad Boy Bachelors of Orange County BK3 Page 15