Kaylie leaned closer to watch as the nurse continued to work, periodically telling her to soften up.
Cort rested his hand on Kaylie’s hair. When was the last time anyone had worried about him getting hurt? Worried about him in general? He didn’t need it.
Really, he didn’t.
But as he thumbed Kaylie’s matted tresses, he couldn’t deny that it felt damn good.
His phone rang, and he flipped it open, ignoring the nurse’s barked warning that no phones were allowed in the hospital. “Richie. What’s going on?”
“There’s no sign of Bill,” Rich reported. “He’s definitely gone. We found evidence that someone’s been living in that shed really recently, so I think the odds that the brother is still alive are high.”
Kaylie closed her eyes, and Cort knew she’d heard what Richie said. “You guys tracking him?” he asked.
“Got no idea where to look. He could land anywhere with that plane. He’s not going to show up at an airport, but we’ve alerted them anyway.”
As Cort had expected, Bill had disappeared.
Kaylie tugged on his arm, and he bent over so she could press her ear up next to the phone.
“My suggestion is to take that girl and hide out until Bill turns up.” Rich’s voice got a little shaky. “You should have seen the state of some of those bodies. He sliced them up pretty bad, especially the one who looks like an older version of Kaylie. I’ve never seen anything like it. The wounds are all postmortem though. Kaylie’s damn lucky you showed up when you did.”
The nurse applied something to Cort’s side that had him hissing with pain.
Or maybe that was Kaylie’s sharp intake of breath. Cort wrapped his arm around her and pulled her up against his good side, kissed her forehead. She leaned against him, her hands cold on his bare torso. In fact, her whole body was cold. He rubbed his hand down her arm, trying to warm her up.
“We found a stash of pictures from a long time ago,” Richie continued. “Photos of him and a woman who looks like Kaylie. Hundreds of letters he wrote to a woman named Alice, but never mailed. Pretty fucked-up stuff. Some letters are about how much he worships her. The others…” He hesitated. “Bad shit, Cort. Don’t let him near Kaylie.”
Cort looked down at the woman by his side. “I won’t.”
She leaned her forehead against his chest.
“Hang on a sec,” Richie said. “I’ll be right back.”
The nurse pulled out a massive syringe. “You need stitches.” She jammed the needle in his side, making him swear. “A few more times, and then I’ll be back to see how the numbness is going.”
“We don’t have time for that.” Cort caught the nurse’s wrist as she went for his side with the syringe again. He had no idea when Bill was going to show up, but he needed to be prepared, not sitting on his ass with a needle in his side. For all he knew, Bill would waltz into the hospital in full uniform, and no one would stop him. Cort needed to get Kaylie out of there and into a situation he controlled. “Just stitch it up.”
The nurse shot him a disgusted look. “Don’t be an idiot. It’ll only take five minutes for the numbing to set in.”
“Cort, please. I can’t deal with watching her stitch you without novocaine,” Kaylie said. “Just let her do it.”
Damned if he could resist the plea in Kaylie’s eyes. He saw she was at the end of her rope and if seeing him stitched was going to put her over the edge…“Fine,” he grumbled to the nurse. “You have five minutes to let that set, and then you’re finishing.”
Kaylie shot him a grateful smile. The nurse hit him up a few more times, making him wonder whether the shots were worse than the stitches would have been without them. Better to think about that, than how it made him feel knowing that Kaylie couldn’t deal with seeing him hurt.
Valerie, even at the start, had never given a shit when he knocked himself around. She just told him it served him right for the lifestyle he’d chosen and his reckless attitude.
But Kaylie…The pinched look to her face as she watched the nurse work was genuine.
Again, he found his hand in her hair, and his chest tightened when she gave him a tired smile.
Richie returned to the call. “I’m back. Sorry. Listen, I have to go. It’s crazy here.”
“Yeah, thanks for the update.”
“We’ll find him, though,” Richie said. “Just hang tight.”
Cort closed his phone. “You catch all that?”
Kaylie nodded. “My poor mother.”
Cort set the phone on the table and leaned forward, taking Kaylie’s hands in his as the nurse quietly let herself out of the room. Cort ignored the blood seeping down his side. “Listen to me, Kaylie. Right now, we need to focus on survival. Keeping you out of Bill’s hands.”
She nodded, biting her lower lip. “We can’t hide. He has my brother. We have to find him. He’s all I have left, and—”
“No. You have me.”
Tears filled her eyes. “I almost got you killed.”
“Bullshit. I’m here, aren’t I? Not dead. I’m fine.”
She stared at him. “You’re insane.”
“No, just indestructible.” He held her hand tighter, pressed his lips to her knuckles. “I’ve got a place. Family place. Well protected.”
“Won’t Bill know about it? Won’t he come there?”
Cort nodded. “I’m hoping. But it’s my turf and I have the advantage. It’s the only place I can think of.”
“And if he doesn’t come? What about my brother?”
He ground his jaw against the one outcome he didn’t want. “If he doesn’t come, I suspect we’re going to get an engraved invitation to meet him somewhere on his terms. He’ll hold your brother out as leverage. I suspect that’s what the photos were for. Now that he has you this close, he’s going to want to close the deal.”
Kaylie searched his gaze. “So, you think he’ll keep Mason alive as long as he doesn’t have me?”
“Yeah.” Cort decided not to mention how bad that leg had looked in the photos. He knew they were short on time for her brother. They weren’t going to go to Cort’s place to hide. They were going to his place to lay a trap. Cort was going to publicize the hell out of the fact they were there.
“If he comes…what do we do?” she asked. “He’s knocked you out twice.”
Cort narrowed his eyes. “First time, I wasn’t expecting him. Second time, I was worried about you.” He winked. “Third time’s a charm.” Then he sobered. “This is risky, and you don’t need to come. I can send out the word that we’re both there, even though you’re not—”
“No.” She was already shaking her head. “I’m in. I’m doing it.”
It was the answer Cort had been hoping for, because he didn’t like the idea of Kaylie being where he couldn’t protect her. But it still made his skin crawl to think of using her as bait. Yeah, he’d be there to keep her safe, but it just felt wrong.
But not as wrong as walking away and leaving her in someone else’s hands. “It’s way the hell out in the middle of nowhere,” he warned. “On a mountain.”
She hesitated. “Do we have to climb to get there?”
“No. I can land right next to the house. But there are mountains on three sides. You’ll feel like you’re at base camp, I’m sure.”
She managed a grim smile. “My family would never forgive me if I stayed out of this because I was scared.”
“Your family?” He took her shoulders and forced her to face him. “This is too dangerous to do it so you can prove to your family that you’re good enough. This has to be for you, because you want it.” His grip tightened. “For once, for one time, look inside at yourself and do what’s right for you.”
She raised her chin. “I’ll do it for any reason I want.”
He scowled at her. “Bush pilots whose hearts aren’t in it die, and I won’t stand by and let you go down this road if you’re not committed. It’s the fastest way to get killed.” His fingers d
ug into her shoulders. “I won’t let you get yourself killed.”
“I’m not a bush pilot! Stop making me into one! Just because I don’t get off on the high of risking my life doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with me. I can step up if I have to, and that’s just going to have to be enough for you!” She shoved him off her. “For once, for just once in my life, I want to be enough for someone just the way I am.”
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you. It’s not what I think, or what your family thinks.” He tapped her heart, ignoring her when she tried to shove his hand away. “It has to be enough for you.”
“What makes you a philosopher?”
“See enough of your friends die, and it changes your view on life.”
Her face stilled, then softened. “I have to agree with that one.” She tilted her head. “Your parents…Did they love to fly? Really love it?”
He pushed off the bed and strode to the window, looking out over the town lit by the dawn. “My parents have nothing to do with this.” One more day until the anniversary of his parents’ death.
“No?” Kaylie moved off the bed and came to stand behind him, her hands sliding over his back. “You’re pushing me so hard to be someone I’m not. Why? Because you don’t want to slow down enough to feel anything, to make room for me? Instead of becoming someone who actually has two feet on the ground, you want to drag me along in your world, thinking that’ll make you happy?”
“And now you’re the philosopher?”
“I’ve had a lot of time to think about why my family takes so many risks. I have theories.”
He snorted. “Were any of them simply that they loved what they did?”
“No.”
“Then you’re wrong.”
“If you’re so happy, why is everyone concerned that you’re on the verge of cracking? Of going over the edge?”
He didn’t turn. Didn’t respond. The denial rose to his lips, as it always did, but he couldn’t voice it this time.
Because he knew it was true.
He’d been riding that edge for a long time. Nothing felt right anymore. And since Kaylie had arrived, everything was even more screwed up. Made him almost wish he could be some washed-up accountant who had never felt the power of a plane beneath him, never knew the freedom only the sky could give him. Never knew what he’d be missing if he gave it up.
But he did.
And he couldn’t.
He would die without the air.
“Maybe you’re the one who needs to change,” she said quietly. “Maybe you’re the one being haunted by demons.”
He turned to face her, caught her face in his hands. “I can’t,” he said. “Not even for you. Not even to keep you.”
“Not for me.” She repeated his words back to him. “For you.” She smiled at the expression he had on his face. “See how crazy that sounds when you’re on the receiving end? I am who I am, Cort. And you are who you are. We simply don’t match up—”
“No.” He bent his head and kissed her, cutting her off. Didn’t want hear any more about how they didn’t match. Her grip on his arms was delicate, as if she was afraid to hold too tight as she kissed him back.
The door opened and they both jumped as Luke walked in, followed by Charity. “Need some help?”
Cort grinned. “Now we’re talking.”
“You love him yet?”
Kaylie glanced at Charity as she changed into the clothes Charity had brought for her. She’d taken a quick shower and dried her hair. It had felt so good to cleanse herself of all the blood and mud that had caked her. Cort and Luke were out in the hall, talking to the state trooper who had tried to come in earlier. “Why?”
“Because that was just like the sweetest kiss I’ve ever seen, when Luke and I came in. Made my heart stutter and melt. If Luke weren’t like my own brother, I would have jumped him just to get a piece of that action myself.”
Kaylie bit her lip, not sure what to say. To her, it had felt like a good-bye kiss. A kiss that said, Yeah, it’s been great, but I’ll see you around. An amazing good-bye kiss that had made her insides tremble and her throat tighten.
Charity held up some lingerie. Black lace. “Since the two of you are going to be shacking up until the bad guy shows up, I figured you might want to entertain.”
Kaylie’s cheeks heated up and she took the bra, quickly putting it on. It fit pretty well. Risqué enough that she knew Cort would like it. If she showed him. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.” Charity plopped down on the bed and crossed her ankles. “What’s up?”
Kaylie hesitated, then sat across from Charity, pulling on a tight long-sleeved shirt. Charity had certainly brought clothes designed not to let Cort forget she was a woman. “Did you love flying? When you were doing it?”
Charity’s smile faded. “I don’t really like to talk about it.”
Kaylie sighed. “I respect that. I had no right to ask. I just—”
Charity cocked her head. “You just what?”
“You’re the only person I know who lived that kind of lifestyle and walked away. How does that happen? Are you happy? Or did it break you? Did you never really love it, and that’s why you could leave?”
Understanding softened Charity’s face. “You’re asking about Cort. Could he be happy being the man you want him to be?”
Kaylie thought about that. “I guess, yeah.”
“The bigger question is whether you would still love him if he weren’t the man he is, or do you love him precisely because of the man he is?”
“I don’t—” Kaylie bit her lip, remembering her words to Bill. I love Cort. Did she? She knew she admired him and respected him. He was so strong and determined. So alive…But he’d called her alive. She wasn’t anything like him. He was…
She looked at Charity, an ugly realization dawning on her. If he were a conservative suit wearer, would he still make her insides melt? Or was it the fact that he was so free that appealed to her? She stared at Charity, a sinking feeling in her chest. “I’m masochistic, aren’t I?”
Charity grinned. “You do love him. I knew it! That’s too cool!”
“Stop!” Kaylie grabbed Charity’s hands. “Shh! It’s not a good thing. It’s stupid!”
“Okay, okay.” Charity leaned forward, her eyes glowing. “Have you told him?”
“No! It’s not…I don’t…” Kaylie sighed. “I have to find out how to stop this.” Look what her mother’s rush for a hot relationship had gotten her. Dangerous men made sense only in fantasies and movies.
One delicate eyebrow arched high. “Are you sure you want to stop?”
“Of course I am! I don’t belong here, Charity. I can’t—”
“What do you mean? Of course you do.” Charity leaned forward. “Don’t use his flying as an excuse. It’s just one part of who he is. The man, his heart, that’s what matters. If you love him, it can work. If you don’t, it won’t. It’s that simple.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“No, not if you don’t let it be.” Charity squeezed her hands and lowered her voice. “I know what it’s like to be afraid, Kaylie. It’s killing me. Don’t let it kill you, too.”
Kaylie heard the truth in Charity’s voice, and she felt her heart tighten for this woman who had reached out to her. A woman she knew could be a true friend. “You’re scared to fly?”
“Oh, God, I wish that’s all it was.” Charity mustered a smile. “But I’ll tell you one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“I never loved to fly the way Cort does. I had fun, but it wasn’t necessary for me to live. Taking flying away from Cort would be like cutting out his heart. He would die. You have to accept that and let it go. See if there’s another way.”
Kaylie bit her lip at the confirmation of the truth she’d known in her heart all along. “He wants someone to live that life with him. To have sex in airplanes and never be on the ground. I can’t be that person.”
Charity’s brows shot up. “You had sex in his airplane? While it was in the air?”
“Charity! That’s not the point! The point is that he wants someone like him.”
She folded her arms over her chest and gave Kaylie a long look. “And how do you know that?”
“Because—”
“I think you’re using it as an excuse because you’re afraid.” Charity paused. “Cort’s a good man, and if he loves you, he’s going to be every bit the man you want him to be.”
“But you just said he’ll always fly.”
“And he will.” Charity raised her brows. “But is that really a problem in itself? Truly?”
Kaylie frowned. “Of course it is, but—”
The door swung open, and Cort stepped inside. He’d apparently been stitched up out in the hall, because he had a large bandage on his side. He pulled a T-shirt over his head, his body ripped and muscled, despite the injury. He spared a nod for Charity. Then his gaze fastened on Kaylie, making her body heat up. “You ladies ready?”
Kaylie nodded, and he went over by the bed to help her to her feet. “How do you feel?” he asked. “You sure you’re up for this?”
Charity squeezed her hand, giving her a knowing look, then hopped off the bed to make room for Cort.
Kaylie’s gaze jumped to his as he helped her to her feet. He was watching her intently, his face deadly serious. She swallowed, her heart suddenly pounding, and reminded herself that the woman he wanted wasn’t the woman she wanted to be. She would have to deny her true self to make him happy.
But as he set his hand on her lower back to guide her out the door, a part of her wondered if maybe, just maybe, she should.
And at the same time, she knew she couldn’t.
And then she thought of Charity’s words, and wondered if maybe, just maybe, there was another way.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Cort flexed his hands when he caught sight of the cabin that had been in his family for four generations. The one his great-grandpa had gotten by trading a pile of furs and an ax.
A building Cort hadn’t been to since his parents had died.
It was smaller than he remembered, a tough little log cabin with thick walls and a three-quarter porch for kicking back and drinking beer while watching the sun set over the mountains. He could almost see his parents out there, talking about their latest flight, feet up on the railing while Cort took apart the airplane they’d flown in on.
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