“The moment I accepted his proposal, I felt my heart split in two. I never want to feel that way again.” She wiped away a single tear that was trickling down her cheek.
“Watching you run away from me was the hardest thing I have ever experienced,” he replied.
“I never want to run away from you again.” Their eyes locked together.
“I hope you never do,” he said sadly. The unspoken truth about their situation was like a dark cloud, which would pour rain over them at any second.
“I confessed to my father that I wrote the articles.”
“You did?” To her surprise, he sounded proud more than anything.
“He is sending me away,” she replied, closing her eyes and willing the truth to disappear.
“At least we have this night.” He took her hand in his and kissed each of her knuckles. She moved closer to him, and he pulled her into his arms. Their kiss was charged, not with lust, but with sadness. When they finally broke apart, she settled in his arms. The intimate embrace soothed her bruised soul, his warm hands healing her.
“In my dreams, we have years to sit like this. I want to know everything about you, there is so much I long for us to have.” She grasped his hand, interlocking their fingers together.
“You only have to ask, I hold no secrets from you,” he replied.
“When you were young, what did you wish your future would be like?” She tried to imagine what a young Jasper would have looked like. She envisioned a tall boy with unruly hair, too thin, and with a thirst to learn. The thought made her smile.
“Freedom,” he said.
“How so?”
“My father was a cruel man. All my childhood, he resented me, hated me. As soon as I was old enough, I left my home and never returned.” As he spoke, he tightened his hold of her.
“That’s terrible,” she said sympathetically. “How can a parent resent their child?”
“He loved my mother, more than anything in the entire world,” he continued. “But, there were complications after I was born, and my mother died. He was never able to forgive me for taking away his reason to live.” She did not say anything. She wondered when was the last time he spoke about this—if he had ever spoken about this before.
“But in a strange twist of fate, I can understand from whence his anger derived. I know that once you leave, there will be no more sunshine in my life. There will be no reason to move one foot forward to continue. There is no life without you, Caroline.”
Her heart felt as if it was about to explode. She turned around, and their lips met again. His tongue glided over hers, and she grabbed his hair and changed their position, sliding on top of him. One of his arms snaked around her lower back, hovering over her buttocks.
The kiss deepened, and he groaned slightly as she pushed down on his manhood, which was rapidly hardening. He sucked on her bottom lip, and she moaned into his ear, her hair covering their faces.
This might be our last chance.
His hand moved under the hem of her gown, and she squirmed with anticipation as he stroked her naked thigh. She swayed slowly, the sensation of his arousal was clouding her mind.
I want to feel his skin, to touch it with my bare hands.
She unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt, moving the hairs on his broad chest. Her center was slick with wetness, and his fingers held the top of her thigh, causing her to tremble with exquisite agony. The tip of his finger touched her, stroking gently. The pressure between her legs was building at a rapid pace.
His movement was steady, and quite suddenly, she trembled and shook as a wave of pleasure coursed through her body. Jasper held her close, kissing and licking her neck. Her hips crushed down to his, and he hissed softly, bucking up against her. She moved her hand down to his trousers, but he stopped her.
“We cannot,” he said in a raspy voice.
“I don’t care,” she replied, kissing him fiercely.
“I will not do that to you,” he objected. “I’m not like him.”
“You are nothing like him,” she said adamantly. “This is our only chance.”
“Perhaps not.” He moved her from his lap so that they sat side by side. “I cannot be without you, Caroline. I love you.”
“I love you!”
“I will never be able to offer you what a true gentleman could, but I will spend the rest of my life loving and adoring you. You will have to sacrifice much if we are ever to be together.” He stroked the back of her hand.
“Jasper! I would give all that I have if that meant I could spend my life with you. No one has ever treated me as you have, and with you, I am happy. My heart will never love anyone but you,” she said.
“Will you marry me?” He stared at her intensely. “We can elope to Gretna Green and be married there. After that, we will be able to go wherever we want to go.”
“Yes,” she said immediately. “Yes, a thousand times, yes!” She laughed with glorious joy.
“I want you to know that I will work hard to provide for you.” He kissed her gently, a million promises in the kiss.
“I know you will,” she cooed.
They lay together on the small couch, whispering loving promises until the darkness of the night has almost completely disappeared. She thought about poor Jimmy, still waiting for her outside. She knew she had to leave, but she could not bear to let go of his warm embrace. Jasper told her he would plan their escape and that she should be ready to leave at a moment’s notice. Finally, she could not delay her departure any longer.
“I cannot wait to begin our lives together,” she said softly. They stood by his door, with their arms around each other.
“The day that I will be able to rightfully call you my wife, will be the happiest day of my life.” He bent down and kissed her, a chaste, sweet kiss.
“Please, hurry, I do not trust that my father will not try to rush my departure from London,” she urged him.
“I will, my love.”
She pulled the hood of the cape over her head and stepped into the deserted street. She hurried to the carriage and nudged Jimmy, who had fallen asleep. The horse began moving, and she turned around to see Jasper standing in the doorway, watching her leave. At last, she was taking control of her life. The thought of leaving her family saddened her, but she knew her happiness lay with him.
Finally, Jasper and I will be together. Hopefully, Father and Her Grace will be able to forgive me one day.
Chapter 44
“I have to stop the carriage here, My Lady,” Jimmy said apologetically. She peered out the window and saw that they were a little distance from the path that led to the entrance to the back garden.
“That’s all right, Jimmy.” She jumped down and looked around, making sure no one saw her. Then she ran ahead, holding the hood of the cape securely over her face. The trip through the garden was a stressful one. The staff at Brighney Manor had already begun their morning chores, and as it was bright outside, she had to hide behind trees. She yanked open the door to the kitchen and collided almost at once with Mrs. Wilson.
“Lady Caroline! What are you doing?” Mrs. Wilson exclaimed.
“I have no time to explain, I need to get to my room,” she replied hurriedly.
“Come here, My Lady.” Mrs. Wilson did not seem to require any further convincing. She guided her down the narrow corridor and up the staircase. She opened the door at the top of the stairs and peered out. “The corridor is clear now, but you must hurry, My Lady.”
She thanked Mrs. Wilson and ran toward her room. Once inside, Madeleine jumped violently from her position near the window. “Mon Dieu! You startled me, My Lady.”
“Did someone ask for me?” She took off the gray cape, and Madeleine assisted her in removing the gray gown.
“Her Grace asked if you would join them for breakfast,” Madeleine said, fetching a celestial blue day gown from her wardrobe.
“What did you tell her?” She nodded her head in agreement with the choice of
gown.
“I said that you had just fallen asleep from a restless night, My Lady.” Madeleine tied the bows securely at the back.
“Good, I will join them for breakfast now.” Caroline stroked the front of her skirt. She needed to convince her aunt and father that everything was as it should be—only for a few more days.
There was tension in the air. Caroline sat next to her aunt, and they had finished with their breakfast. Her father was hidden behind a newspaper, and her aunt had a small stack of letters in front of her.
The tiredness she felt was excruciating, but she reveled in the sensation. She sipped her third cup of tea, reliving Jasper’s promises.
“How odd!” The Dowager Duchess suddenly spluttered, staring at the letter in her hand.
“What is it?” Her father put down his newspaper and gazed at Her Grace.
“This is a letter from Lady Duncan,” her aunt said.
“Why is she writing to you?”
“She is in London and wishes to pay us a visit!” Her aunt exchanged a meaningful glance with Lord Brighney.
“Today?” Her father asked in disbelief.
“It is possible she does not know about the—” her aunt paused for a moment. “What has happened.”
Visiting them, the day after Caroline was supposed to be married, was very strange. She was sure that the incident at the church was known throughout the ton, and she could fully understand why her father was suspicious. When something as scandalous as this happened, usually people would give those involved a few days of privacy before visiting and demanding all the sordid details.
“Have you been corresponding with Lady Duncan?” Her father demanded, glaring at her.
“No,” she replied at once. “She sent me a letter a while ago, but I’m afraid I have not yet replied.”
This was, of course, the truth. She had not managed to find a way to ask Lady Duncan to repeat her warning. However, she had no idea whether Mrs. Wilson had been in contact with the housekeeper at Duncan Manor. With everything that had transpired since she asked her, she had completely forgotten about it.
“Fine,” her father grunted. “I must get going now.” He folded the newspaper and stood up. Before he walked away, he glanced at her, an inscrutable expression on his worn face. He opened his mouth, as if to speak, but seemed to think better of it. He turned around and left without another word.
Will I finally get to know what Lady Duncan’s warning was about?
Later that afternoon, Caroline sat in the drawing room, nervously wringing her hands over and over. Lady Duncan was expected to arrive at any moment. She could not explain why this caused her to fidget so much, but perhaps it was just her tiredness.
The butler entered the room and announced that Lady Duncan had arrived. Caroline leaped to her feet, and her aunt raised her eyebrows at her behavior. A young blonde lady, wearing a navy blue gown, entered the room. She waddled slightly as she walked, the roundness of her middle visible underneath the many-layered skirt.
“Your Grace, it is good to see you,” Lady Duncan said gracefully. She turned to her and gave her a dazzling smile. “Lady Caroline, it has been too long.”
“Come now, sit down,” the Dowager Duchess. “You must be tired.”
“Thank you,” Lady Duncan replied. “Lately, I have hardly any energy.” She laughed and stroked over her pregnant belly.
“What brings you to London?” Caroline asked.
“We will be staying here until the fall,” Lady Duncan said, with an almost giddy smile. Caroline could not help but think that she was like a completely different person. When she had last seen her, Lady Duncan had been timid and wide-eyed, but now seemed to be mature and confident. “Lord Duncan rather fancies the London spring, and this way, I will be able to have the baby here.”
“How lovely,” her aunt said as she poured them tea. They chatted about Lady Duncan’s life in Scotland, but after a while, the conversation died down. Lady Duncan turned to the Dowager Duchess. “I wonder if I might speak with Lady Caroline in private?”
Her aunt looked surprised, but she stood up gracefully, much to Caroline’s astonishment. “Of course. It was good to see you, Lady Duncan.”
“You are kind, Your Grace,” Lady Duncan replied.
Once they were alone, Lady Duncan put her cup of tea onto the table in front of them, and winced and clutched her side.
“Are you all right?” Caroline asked with concern.
“Yes, I’m fine.” Lady Duncan grimaced. “This baby is very strong.”
“I must say I was surprised to hear you were coming here,” she said.
“The decision to go to London came about rather abruptly,” Lady Duncan replied. “Once I heard that you had not received my message, I knew I would have to see you.”
“Did you come all the way here only to see me?” She looked at her, horrified.
“Not entirely,” Lady Duncan said. “Do not worry. I wanted to see my family, and we had initially planned to come after the baby was born, but Lord Duncan saw that I missed London.”
“Will you tell me what it was you meant to tell me?”
Lady Duncan sighed before replying. “The news that you had begun courting Lord Estaria traveled up north a few weeks ago. Once I heard it, I wanted to try to warn you, to prevent the same thing happening to you. But if the rumors I heard about what happened yesterday are true, you have narrowly escaped a dreadful fate.”
“What do you mean?”
“Before I continue, I only wish to ask you one thing,” Lady Duncan said seriously. “Is it true that your wedding to Lord Estaria has been called off?”
“Yes, it is.” She regarded her curiously. Once she had confirmed this, Lady Duncan smiled and seemed to breathe easier.
“Lord Estaria is a cruel man,” Lady Duncan said after a pause. “He is greedy and does not care about anyone except himself.” Caroline gaped at her. She could not believe Lady Duncan had said this, and without any preamble. She was completely in awe of her. “This may come as a shock to you,” Lady Duncan added. “He can be very charming. That I know far too well.” Lady Duncan held one hand, protectively over her stomach.
“Did he…” she began, but could not say the words. She did not have to. Lady Duncan seemed to know exactly what she meant, for she simply replied, “Yes. Yes, he did. I was not the first, of that I am certain.”
“Is that why you left so suddenly?” she asked.
“Yes,” Lady Duncan replied bitterly. “Once he had no more use for me, he threatened me to keep me silent. I was naive—I was sure he loved me.”
“Oh, dear, I am so sorry.” She was filled with affection for Lady Duncan, but there were still many things that were unclear for her. “My former lady’s maid, Emma, she was living in lodgings with your dismissed lady’s maid. Do you know anything about that?”
“I could not leave Esther, my former maid, with nothing. Not after all she did.” Lady Duncan closed her eyes, breathing deeply and stroking over her belly, soothingly. “I just regret that your Emma got caught in this whole tragedy.”
“What happened?”
“Once Lord Estaria had finished with me, I was absolutely devastated, but then I found out I was expecting. I was sure my life was over, but I was desperate to go to him. I had convinced myself that all would change, that he would love me back if he only knew.”
“In the middle of the night, I ran out in a thunderstorm to go and see him. Esther stopped me, saved me, really. But I was mad at her for preventing me from seeing him. She was dismissed, and then my parents found out about my condition.” Lady Duncan looked miserable as she recounted this.
“You provided Esther with the lodgings?”
“Yes, it was the least I could do for her. She took the fall for me, and she never betrayed my trust. Once I was married, I had the resources to help her,” Lady Duncan replied.
“Is Lord Duncan aware of everything? She asked cautiously. To her surprise, a broad smile spread Lady Dun
can’s lips. “I sometimes think I should thank Lord Estaria, for without him, I might not have met my husband. Although the circumstances of our wedding were rather unusual, I could not have married a kinder man.”
Lady Duncan laughed at Caroline’s stunned expression. “I am aware of my husband’s reputation, but it could not be further from the truth. He dotes on me and is very excited for us to become a family.”
“Oh, I’m so very happy for you,” she said.
“Thank you. I am happy, and now I really must leave.” Lady Duncan stood up. “There is only one thing I regret.”
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