On the Edge

by Parker Hudson

  “Yes, umm, that might have some effect. I, uh, I haven't really thought about it, of course,” Janet added as she stirred her chef's salad with her fork. “Do you…have you looked into any other positions?”

  “No, not yet. And frankly, after we do this, there probably won't be too many jobs open in broadcasting for us, except maybe some Christian programming,” said Connie.

  Janet had a constructive idea. “Wouldn't it be better if we all stayed put and tried to fight this sort of thing from the inside? Instead of cutting and running? Couldn't we have more impact that way?”

  Tom and Connie exchanged glances, and Tom spoke. “We said exactly the same thing, Janet, two years ago, when ‘Sex Lives of the Rich and Famous’ first came on, with all that bizarre and kinky stuff. We tried. We talked to Bill then. You may remember the short ‘minority report’ that he let us type and circulate around the station. Basically, Janet, we have come to the conclusion that Bill will do nothing to upset Network or the bottom line, no matter what is broadcast into our homes, unless he's threatened with a loss of income or a stink of huge proportions. Frankly, we doubt that our resignations will produce either of those, but it has finally come down to a personal thing. Do we want to be part of an organization which has no sense of its public responsibility and will broadcast anything in the name of ‘freedom of the press’? In our cases, the answer is simply no.”

  “When do you plan to tell him?”

  “We want to give him one last chance to stop the show or at least to move it to late night. We'll tell him in about a month. If he refuses, then we won't say anything more until we resign, two weeks before the show starts,” Connie explained.

  “Well, I appreciate your stand, and I appreciate the fact that you have asked me to join you. But I don't know. It's a big step. Other than this problem, I like it here. I may not be so ready to give up on the possibility of changing it from the inside. I'll have to talk it over with my husband and get back to you.”

  “Janet,” Connie looked up from her almost untouched chicken salad, “I urge you to try praying about it too.”

  While Janet was considering how a moral stand might affect her career, her husband was enjoying another Thursday “lunch” with Kristen, whom he had not seen in two weeks because of his own out-of-town meetings and her real estate continuing education classes.

  After putting the pressure on Richard six weeks earlier, Kristen had backed off, waiting to see if he would do anything about leaving Janet. He hadn't, and Kristen finally realized that Richard probably never would, so long as he could “have his cake and eat it too,” as she heard herself say. After that thought, a voice seemed to speak to her and to tell her that perhaps it was going to be up to her to help him make the move. For his sake, as well as for hers. No specific plan had formed yet, but she was in a better mood, just thinking that perhaps she could take the initiative and move their situation along, as both of them really wanted.

  He lay back on her king-sized bed, relaxed after their “workout,” as he always called it, in honor of the health club where he was supposed to be. She said, “Richard, I've got an out-of-town family, the Hawkins, who may be interested in the McEver house. How about if I bring them over to meet with you and Janet, to encourage them about the neighborhood?”

  “You and some clients come over to our house together, to meet Janet?” he asked incredulously.

  “Yes, why not?”

  “No way. It's too dangerous. You or I might slip up. But listen, I've got some good news.”

  “You're leaving Janet tomorrow,” she suggested, looking down at him, her eyes smiling.

  “No. Not that. But in early August, Janet and the kids will drive up to Vermont to visit Janet's parents, like they do every summer, for almost two weeks. They still live on a farm, and the kids love it. As usual, I'll fly up for the last few days and then drive back with them, but that will leave me here, alone, for about ten days.” He sat up, grinning, “We'll have to be careful, but I bet we'll be able to spend most nights together, either at your place or at mine!”

  She covered herself with the sheet and exaggerated her mild Southern accent. “Why, Mr. Sullivan, I do believe that you have dishonorable intentions in mind where I am concerned,” she pouted, smiling.

  “You bet I do,” he laughed, as he toppled over onto her.

  FRIDAY, JULY 21 – That Friday evening, Susan and Drew were double dating with Amy and Jay Stembler, the college freshman who went out with Susan the night Amy and Billy left the fraternity party. Jay had unexpectedly called Amy earlier in the week, and they had gone out for a casual dinner together. Tonight the four of them were headed to an early movie and a quick supper afterwards.

  At their first dinner, Amy asked Jay why he had called her. Jay responded that Billy had said so many nice things about her, and he had simply wanted to get to know her better. She was curious and pressed on to ask Jay whether he knew about the “little problem” she and Billy had experienced earlier. Jay was bad at lying, and so he told her that he knew. She pressed on, and Jay finally had to admit that most of the boys in their fraternity knew and had actually followed the developments with Billy, including the “good news” of the abortion. Billy, had, in fact, bought a keg of beer for the fraternity house to celebrate on that particular Friday night.

  Amy sat back in the restaurant and reflected on her new status with the largest fraternity in the city. She tried to smile, but there were suddenly tears in her eyes. As she reached for her purse to retrieve a tissue, she asked Jay, “And is that really why you asked me out, because you think I'm ‘loose’?”

  In his heart Jay could not deny that the thought had crossed his mind, but he genuinely believed that he wanted to get to know her, not just expect sex. “No, Amy, it's not. I enjoyed being with you for that little while, and I figured you might be going through a not-so-great time—I've got an older sister, and I know it must not be easy for you—and Billy hasn't asked you out, so I thought I would. That's all. I'd just like to have a date or two and see how we do. Okay?”

  Amy appreciated his kindness and his apparent honesty, so she dried her eyes and smiled, thinking to herself that she could probably trust Jay, but maybe he was lying. For the first time in her life she experienced a glimpse of the power which exists in granting or withholding sexual favors. She was no longer a “girl.” The guys apparently all knew that she was “experienced,” and so she had a decision to make with each one—the decision would involve an interplay of words, actions, emotions, and assumptions that had not been in her repertoire only ninety days before. This unexpected feeling was a strange combination of being sick to her stomach and of holding a new power. She would definitely have to think about it. And she was saddened that Susan and Bobbie would probably not be of much help.

  Now for their second date on this Friday evening, Jay was driving, and Susan and Drew were in the back seat. The movie was a funny comedy, and they had tried a new fondue restaurant in the same shopping center. They really had a delightful evening together, talking about everything from their baseball team's possible pennant race to the colleges to which the three seniors should apply. Jay was able to act the “older man,” sharing his advice from his college search of two years before.

  On the way back to Devon Drive, Jay turned into an unfinished new cul-de-sac where there were as yet no houses nor street lights, and parked the car at the far end. He slid over into Amy's bucket seat, with no complaint from her, and in a few minutes they were hugging and kissing. Susan and Drew, who had known each other for much longer, were frankly surprised by the unexpected friendliness of the couple in the front seat, but lost no time in joining them.

  Susan, who had grown to like Drew very much, for the first time allowed him the same freedom to explore her body which Amy was obviously granting to Jay. She had decided a week ago, after stopping his advances for a month, that if a safe situation arose in which she were sure they could not possibly “do it,” she would at least let him do
“a little.” She could not think of any reason why not. What was it her mother had said? That there was no real meaning to life? Well, here was a nice boy who cared for her, and she might just love him. Maybe they could find meaning by loving each other. And love obviously included physical intimacy, as every television show and movie she had ever seen had taught her.

  But now that he was doing so, she had not counted on the rising tide of emotion, not only in him, but in herself as well. It's hard to go near a flame and not be burned. Voices in all four of them were urging them to go further, but that was just not possible. Finally, as it came close to 11:30, Susan pushed Drew up gently, took a deep breath, refastened herself, and said that they had to get home.

  When she was safely in her own bed, with these new, strong feelings playing through her and voices telling her that she was a woman and should experience everything a woman can experience, she picked up the phone beside her bed and dialed Amy. They talked for over an hour. And Nepravel was the delighted third participant on the party line.

  SUNDAY, JULY 23 – Late that Sunday morning, after they had finished reading the paper and sipping their coffee, Richard and Janet sat down for their usual brunch. Today Janet had prepared ham and cheese omelettes. Janet used this moment of relative quiet to tell Richard about the stand that Tom, Connie, and three others at the station were prepared to make. And about their request that she join them, with the probable consequence that she would lose her job.

  “I know you've wanted me to have no job, or a different job, Richard. I haven't made up my mind yet, and I would like to have your input.”

  Richard thought, Be careful here. Like many who complain, half of Richard's derision of her job had really been an attempt to gain sympathy for himself. Yes, he wished she would stay home more and take care of him more. But when confronted with the actual chance that Janet would lose her job, which he knew meant a lot to her (not to mention the income), he was not so sure.

  And then the thought struck him of how she would leave the station. There might be press conferences and interviews. With her prominence in the promotion video she had told him about, other media would probably pick up on the story and run it. What would that say about him and his law firm? Although they did not represent TVS, they had many media clients, both in broadcasting and in publishing. How would it look in the newspaper if Janet, identified as the “wife of prominent attorney Richard Sullivan,” were seen to be siding with a bunch of Christian fundamentalists against the station's perfect right to broadcast the news?

  “I think I'd go slow on this one, Janet,” he finally said. “I know I've badgered you about being home more, but I do think that you—we, really—have been trying harder lately. And I really would hate for you to give up the job you love so much, so long as you—we—can keep this balance. And over such an obscure reason.”

  “Thanks Richard. That's about the first nice thing you've said about my job in a couple of years. I do appreciate it. The problem is that I basically agree with Tom and Connie. That show should not be broadcast into our homes, at least not at 7:30. It is too much. I don't think they or we can stop it by resigning. But I would like to try to stop it from the inside. Still, I do admire their courage, and I'll think about it a little longer.”

  “Well, think about it all you want. But don't do anything without us talking again. And don't let Bill Shaw know you're even considering siding with those people,” Richard warned her. Then he smiled and asked her when she and the kids were planning to leave for Vermont.

  MONDAY, JULY 24 – At mid-morning on Monday, Richard received a call from Bruce McKinney. “Has there been any more word from Tomlinson's attorney about the timing of our closing?” he asked.

  “No, there hasn't, Bruce,” Richard replied, “but in all honesty, I've been so busy that I haven't really pushed him lately. I'll call him today.”

  “I don't suppose you noticed the article in yesterday's paper about the huge Japanese investment in Apex Textile, did you?”

  “No, why? What does it have to do with Tomlinson?”

  “Well, apparently the market senses that Apex may now become a real competitor, with modernized robotic production. It may give Fairchild a run for its money, since Fairchild also needs to modernize most of its plants.”

  “Which means?”

  “Which means that the Fairchild stock dropped some on Friday with the rumors, and this morning it has continued to fall. Last Wednesday it was at 32, but right now the tape reads 28. We just need to get Tomlinson's horse in the barn before something unexpected happens.”

  “OK. I see what you mean. I'll give him a call and try to speed things along, if that's possible. How is everything else going?” Richard asked.

  “Just fine, thanks. Our expansion is underway. We'll have a lease for you to review later this week, I think. We've interviewed several new brokers. I hope we'll have our first new office open in the north area by the end of October, if all goes well.”

  “Great. I'll get back to you on Tomlinson.”

  One of the things Amy and Susan had discussed on the phone after their last double date was the subject of birth control pills. “I've got to figure out how to get a prescription,” Amy explained, “so the same thing doesn't happen again.”

  Almost casually, Susan said, “If you get some, I'll get some, too.”

  “What?!?” said Amy. “Have you and Drew…?”

  “No, not yet. But I can see how it might happen. And I sure don't want to go through what happened to you,” Susan told her. Hearing herself speak those words, she felt as if she were already no longer a virgin.

  Nepravel, listening in, nodded, laughed, and said to himself, “A good firstborn. Everything nicely organized. Even her deflowering. How difficult it used to be!” And he laughed again.

  “Well, if you're serious, let's call each other's doctors, so they can't recognize our voices, and ask about the procedures. Tell me your doctor's name, and I'll call him on Monday,” Amy directed.

  So on Monday afternoon Amy drove Susan to her job at the frozen yogurt shop, and they compared notes on what they had found out. Both doctors’ offices had reported the same thing: in their state, any girl sixteen or older could obtain a prescription for birth control pills, and that information, at her request, became privileged doctor/patient communication and could not be revealed to her parents, except under court order. Both offices said that a regular patient could just schedule a confidential appointment and come in for a quick examination and obtain a prescription.

  It sounded easy, but they admitted that it would take some courage to call the same doctors and nurses who had treated them for sprained ankles and sore throats as little girls, and ask for birth control pills. But they encouraged each other, and Amy finally said, “I'll come over to your house in the morning, when everyone is gone to work, and call for an appointment, if you'll do the same, right afterwards.”

  It all sounded so grown up and mysterious to Susan. She thought for a moment, smiled, and said, “OK.”

  By Friday afternoon they both had their first compacts of birth control pills hidden in their rooms. Amy started taking hers as soon as her cycle was right. Susan just looked at the tan package every day and wondered what would happen next. She noted with some relief that they were good if used anytime before the end of three more years.

  FRIDAY, JULY 28 The following Friday night Susan had to work until the 10:00 closing at the yogurt shop. Janet took her to the shop after coming home from her own job, because Drew had offered to bring her home, as a late date. On the way over to the yogurt shop, Janet mentioned that Tommy would be at Brent's home that evening, although he was not spending the night. They also talked briefly about their upcoming trip to Vermont in a couple of weeks.

  About eight that evening, as Susan was fixing yogurt cones for a young family with two children, she looked up and thought she saw Tommy and Brent in the back seat of an old car, with four other boys, cruising through the shopping center. If
her eyes were to be believed, two of the boys she recognized from her own class, who were known for being loners—and a little “strange.”

  Although one of her friends had told her near the end of the school year that she had seen Tommy with this same crowd, Susan had frankly discounted it as mistaken identity. But there they were tonight, when Tommy was supposed to be at Brent's home, cruising the north side of the city. She made a mental note to ask Tommy about all of this on Saturday.

  Drew picked Susan up after work, and they soon pulled into the same dark cul-de-sac near Susan's home and parked behind Jay's car, which was already there, with its windows fogged up. Drew flashed his lights before turning them off.

  Another hour of heavy petting ensued. Drew for the first time professed his growing love for Susan, which delighted her. She responded that she felt the same. And although she was not yet ready to do “it,” she told him that she loved him and that virtually anything else was fair game. The two of them, although they were both virgins, had experienced enough sex education, fueled by their teenage passion, to contrive several creative ways to spend an hour together. Soon Drew's windows were fogged as well.

  SATURDAY, JULY 29 – Late Saturday morning, as they were eating bowls of cereal together, Susan asked Tommy if he would like to play tennis before she had to depart for the afternoon shift at the yogurt shop.