On the Edge

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On the Edge Page 35

by Parker Hudson


  “But besides being a God of justice, He is also a God of grace and mercy, and He has provided a way for each one of us to escape the justice we deserve. He let His only son—imagine that—die in our place. And His love is so great that He would have done that for me if I were the only human being alive. How incredible. That someone could love me enough to die in my place—the death I deserve.

  “I told you earlier that the answer is right here. And it is. Here is what you have to do. Ask God, with complete sincerity, to forgive you for all of the sins which you have committed. If you really want to lead a new life with His help, then submit yourself for the rest of your life here on earth to His Son, not only as your savior, but also as your Lord. If you want the power of the Holy Spirit in your life, then pray along with me now, as I prayed twenty years ago, and leave this place a completely new person.”

  Fuller bowed his head in prayer, and the other men in the hall did likewise. Richard was stunned, almost immobile. Listening to Fuller had been like trying to drink from a fire hydrant. Every word had meaning, and every word had meant something to Richard. His heart was laid bare and the awful truth of what he had been doing with Kristen was seared on his conscious mind. He knew he was no spiritual leader for his family. He knew his selfishness was awful. And yet, he had just heard that God had provided a way out from all of this…this…sin.

  Fuller was praying, but Richard was still caught up in the enormity of his sins and didn't feel worthy to pray with all the other men. When Fuller finished praying, Michael Andrews rose to thank him. Richard looked up and saw tears streaming down the face of the mechanical contractor across from him. The banker sitting to his right also had moist eyes, and smiled at him. Obviously every man in the ballroom that morning had been moved deeply by what he had heard. Something tangible had happened. Something real. Richard had heard Fuller's prayer, but he did not honestly know whether he had prayed the prayer himself. The weight of his sins and of his lying to Janet in particular were so very heavy on his soul.

  After checking the box on the card in front of him that he would be interested in the follow-up, he could barely stand, because his knees were so weak. No one appeared to be in a rush to leave, and he noticed two or three men in the room who seemed to be sitting and praying by themselves. Finally Bob Meredith touched his elbow, smiled, and said, “Richard, I hope Ben Fuller's message meant something to you.”

  Richard, almost in a daze, picked up his placemat from the Petersons and his note from Henry Coker and nodded. In not much more than a whisper, he replied, “Yes…yes, a great deal. Thank you so much for inviting me.”

  Bob led Richard through the hotel lobby, shaking hands and talking briefly with several other friends who had attended the prayer breakfast. Once outside, they found Bob's car where Court had left it in the parking lot of the large mall next to the hotel. As they drove to Richard's office, Richard still found it hard to talk, but he managed to ask Bob how he had originally come to his own faith.

  Bob explained how during the winter of his junior year in college a series of events with his girlfriend, his grades, and his parents had terribly depressed him. He had seriously contemplated suicide. He had located a hand gun in a pawn shop in their college town. The night before he planned to buy it, a friend from high school, who was attending college in another small campus town two hundred miles away, happened to call him. “I say ‘happened’ because that's how it seemed at the time. But I know now that nothing like that just ‘happens.’ The friend heard my pain on the telephone, got in his car, and drove the two hundred miles to my apartment. He then spent the rest of that night sitting on the floor with me in my kitchen, mainly just listening to me.

  “He let me talk it all out. And I guess the more I talked about it with him, the more ridiculous it sounded to kill myself. We finally went to sleep about the time the sun came up, and when we woke up in the afternoon, I knew the crisis had passed. I knew it had passed primarily because this friend loved me enough to stop what he was doing and to be with me when I needed him. It was only that afternoon when I really learned, I think because I asked, about his faith. Although we were obviously younger and he did not have all the experiences of Ben Fuller behind him, he nevertheless shared with me many of the same ideas you heard this morning. I guess they were like seeds planted in me because that summer, when we were home for vacation, I prayed with him to ask Jesus into my life. And I have simply never been the same since.”

  Richard listened to yet another man tell him about love and about the power of God to change a life. At that moment, Doubt was gone. It was simply impossible that so many men whom he knew and respected could have virtually the same experience without this power being real.

  Bob pulled up to the curb near the front entrance to the forty-story office building where Richard's law firm was located. In all of his life, Richard could never remember two and a half hours like those he had just experienced. As his mind began to clear, he knew, however, that, although he had been exposed to the Truth and to the power of the Holy Spirit, they were not yet part of his life.

  “Robert, thank you for a most moving and important morning. I'll think about all these things, and I'd like to participate in whatever might be planned next,” Richard told him, as they shook hands in the car.

  “I'll give you a call in a couple of days to let you know what's happening,” Bob smiled in reply. Richard left the car and walked in through the revolving door to the elevator lobby in his building.

  Although he did not know it, he was accosted in the elevator lobby by Nepravel, who had been waiting for him in the safest place he could find away from the Palace Hotel. Nepravel was ecstatic to see that the Light was not yet flickering inside Richard, and so he still had a chance to turn him away from the Truth.

  There was therefore an unseen extra party in the elevator riding up to the thirty-seventh floor with the other occupants, as Nepravel began once again to spin up the deceptive voices of Confusion and Disbelief inside Richard.

  The elevator doors opened on his floor, and Richard walked slowly through the glass entranceway of his law firm, still lost in thought about what he had seen and heard that morning. But already a new voice began to ask him, “Could that have all actually been real? Did all of those men really accept Jesus into their lives this morning? How could that be possible?”

  He smiled at Mary, his secretary, and entered his office. There on his desk was his briefcase. Seeing his briefcase and looking down at the placemat and the envelope in his hand reminded Richard that this morning ten or more men—he really could not imagine how many—most of whom did not know him at all, had put themselves through all sorts of logistical problems just so that he could hear the Truth from Benjamin Fuller. That simple revelation of their unselfish love for him brought back the flood of feelings from the prayer breakfast. Nepravel was astonished when the voices of Confusion and Disbelief stopped spinning inside Richard, even as he was manipulating them.

  Richard turned around immediately, throwing his coat on a chair and, without glancing at the messages on his desk, he walked past Mary and down the hall to Court Shullo's office. Court was seated behind his desk reviewing a deposition. Richard asked if he could come in, and Court rose and greeted him with a smile. “Sure, Richard. By all means, come in. How was the prayer breakfast?”

  “Court,” Richard said with great seriousness on his face, “It was like nothing I have ever experienced before. Benjamin Fuller spoke as if he had written every word just for me.” Richard turned and closed the door to Court's office. Court walked around his desk, and Richard met him in the middle of the office.

  “Court…” Richard looked out the window for a moment, then turned back and looked Court in the eye. “Court, you cannot imagine the things I have done…I can't believe God will ever forgive me, but I want to ask Him to…I don't know exactly what it is you and Ben Fuller and Bob Meredith have found, but I know that I want it. What do I do? How do I do it? Please help me!”


  Nepravel, who had followed Richard into Court's office was horrified. Desperately he tried to restart the voices of Doubt, Confusion, Disbelief, anything. But he was shocked to find that there was simply nothing left to work with inside Richard. The prayers and the events of the past several hours had wiped all of Richard's voices clean. It would take days to start them over again, and Nepravel knew that he didn't have enough time.

  Only twice since time began on earth had Nepravel been personally present when a soul was saved by Jesus Christ, and he involuntarily pulled back in both fear and anger. He landed on Court's bookcase, spitting and shrieking vile insults at Court and Richard, knowing that he was helpless now to do anything else and afraid of what was going to happen next.

  Court asked, “Richard, are you ready to stop trying to run your own life—to submit to God and let Him provide for you and your family?”

  Richard spoke slowly. “I know I've made a mess of the things in my life that matter. Janet. Tommy. Yes, yes, I'm ready. So very ready.”

  “And, Richard, are you really sorry for these things you have done that you shouldn't have done…what the Bible calls sins?”

  “Court, I'm so very sorry. I've lied to…”

  “Richard,” Court smiled, raising his hand, “that's between you and God. It's none of my business. Here, kneel with me and let's change your life forever.”

  Nepravel shrieked from the bookcase and snarled, alternately cringing back against the books and lashing out with his sharp teeth and sulfurous breath at Court, hatred filling him so completely that his eyes turned blood red.

  The two men knelt in the middle of the modern office, and Court led Richard in an ancient prayer. Richard listened to Court and then repeated the words from the depth of his heart.

  “Dear heavenly Father, I have sinned. I am a sinner. I am separated from Your perfection by my sin. I deserve the wrath of Your judgment. I deserve to die in my sin and to spend eternity separated from You. Please, dear Lord, forgive me for what I have done wrong, and give me the power of the Holy Spirit to conquer my temptations in the future.

  “Through Your grace, I want to have a relationship with You through Your Son, Jesus Christ, whom You sent to earth to die for my sins so that I might receive Your forgiveness, instead of Your judgment.”

  As Court led and Richard prayed these words, Nepravel shrank back in terror, because he heard the distant rush. This was not just one of God's holy angels. He actually saw coming the mighty cleansing flame of the Holy Spirit Himself. This was God Almighty, coming down from heaven, to visit this one repentant sinner, that he might be born again. Nepravel screamed in hate and defeat and fear, backing through the wall, closing his eyes to the searing flame. The invisible flame filled Court's entire office and turned it white with spiritual heat. Nepravel crouched and snarled behind a row of file cabinets in the office hallway.

  “This day, right now, I want to submit my life to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. I want to be born again by the power of the Holy Spirit. I want Jesus to run my life. I want to start my life over as Your child. I pray for the power and the grace to know and to serve You more each day. Please, Lord, take me now as Your own, and make of me a new man, to do Your will while on earth, and to be an heir of eternal life with You, not because of what I have done, but by Your love and grace for me. All these things I pray in the name of Him who died so that I might live, Jesus Christ.”

  The searing flame of the Holy Spirit pierced Richard and turned him an incandescent white for a split second, then passed on through him, leaving behind a small flame of Light which could be seen by any spiritual being. Nepravel looked up from behind the file cabinets and cursed God.

  Richard opened his eyes and felt a huge weight lifted from him. He had not seen the Light nor heard the rush, but he knew that something had happened to him. He had given up. He had submitted to God. And suddenly he felt lighter and cleaner than he had felt in years. He looked at Court, and they smiled together.

  “Court…I…I feel new. It's really there. I want to be God's! I want to do His will. What do I do now, Court?”

  The two men stood up. “First, I want to welcome you to God's kingdom,” Court smiled, and he embraced Richard with a hug, which Richard returned. “No day should ever be the same for you now, Richard. You will still, of course, have problems—God doesn't promise us a rose garden—but now you are God's child, and if you call upon His power and His wisdom, they are yours to use in everything you do.”

  “Court, I feel like a child. What a morning! But I still feel so unworthy. There's so much I have to change. I don't know if I can. What do I do now? I want to shout and go tell Janet what's happened! She'll never believe me.”

  “Richard, go tell her. And she probably won't believe you.…Remember how you were only yesterday. Until the Holy Spirit indwells you, you see things through an old set of eyes. But tell her…Share your joy.

  “Here, sit down, and let me answer your question. God wants to have a relationship with you through His Son. In business, Richard, I know you tell us here in the firm to develop relationships with influential people and with clients. How do we do that?”

  “Well,” Richard answered, “we spend time with them, get to know everything we can about them, talk to them, listen to them, try to figure out what's important to them…All of that builds the relationship.”

  “Exactly, Richard, and that's precisely what God wants you to do with Him. Let me tell you how to start. You learn about Him by reading the Word He inspired men to write about Him—the Bible. It's all there. Everything you need for a full life. The more I read it, the more I know it was written for these times. Start your relationship with Him by reading the Gospel of John, then maybe First John, James, Peter, and the many letters of Paul. These were men who knew Jesus personally, and you can find out about Him by reading their words. Do you have a Bible?”

  “Yes, sure, at home. I think I can find it. How much should I read?”

  “As much as you want. Remember, you're building a relationship, so learn as much as you can. The other way we communicate with God is through prayer. We talk to Him, and He talks to us. I recommend finding a quiet time every day, Richard, usually early in the morning or at night. And there's something about us Type A men getting down on our knees—or on our faces—and praying to our heavenly Father. When she's comfortable, include Janet sometimes, and pray together. Ask Him for forgiveness and for guidance in your life. Then listen. If you're rusty at praying, it might take a few times. But be honest, and tell Him everything that's on your heart. He will answer you.”

  “Build a relationship…That seems so simple,” Richard said. “Read, talk, and listen. Why didn't anyone ever tell me this before?”

  “Well, you have to be ready to hear, and you have to go some place where you might hear it. When was the last time you went to church, Richard?”

  Richard grimaced. “A long time ago.”

  “Well, that's the final thing I was going to tell you. We learn a lot about our heavenly Father through the teachings and the relationships we have here on earth, particularly with other believers. So besides reading the Bible every day and praying every day, you should find a Bible-believing church where you feel at home and become part of the body. From this day forth you are saved, but like all of us, you have so much to learn. We call it our spiritual walk, and we'll be learning from Him and from each other until He takes us home. The body of believers supports each other, teaches each other, and worships together.

  “We would love to have you at Church of Faith, or you might try Morningside, which is a little closer to your home, where the Merediths attend. The denomination doesn't matter, as long as the church is founded on the Word. And believe me, Richard, you'll know. You might try several different churches, but then make a decision and put down roots in one community of believers.”

  Court had finished, and Richard was still overwhelmed that this man had taken so much time with him, from early that morning, to hel
p bring him into the kingdom of God. “Court…I…I can't thank you and Bob and all the people who worked so hard on the prayer breakfast.…It has obviously changed my life. How can I ever repay you?”

  Court laughed. “Richard, the greatest joy of my life is telling others about our faith and then seeing results like this morning. Your name is now written in the Book of Life. Do you realize that angels are rejoicing in heaven right now? Yes, I mean it. What joy! You can repay us by calling on us whenever we can help you and by doing what we are all supposed to do: tell others about this new faith that burns inside you.”

  Court held out his hand. This time Richard embraced him. Nepravel, who had been circling them since the Holy Spirit departed and listening to the Truth being told, spat at them and swore because the deception had ended in Richard. Now they would have to concentrate on confusing him and isolating him before he could tell others.

  “Oh, and Richard—” Court said, as Richard opened the door, “—one more thing. Satan hates to lose a soul to God. He will now do everything he can to confuse you and to turn you away from the faith. In the coming weeks you may experience more problems, not less. But unlike before, you now have the power of the Holy Spirit inside you to battle him. Don't try to stand up to Satan on your own—you'll always lose. Pray for the Holy Spirit's help whenever you feel tempted.”

  “Court, do you really believe that the devil is real?” Richard asked.

  “I know it, and so should you. Who do you think has kept you from the Truth you finally heard today? Who do you think is trying to ruin your marriage, your family, and your business? Who do you think gets all those voices going inside you, rationalizing every imaginable sin?”

 

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