by Natalie Ann
“How’s Guy?”
“He’s good. You just missed him. I scared him silly when I passed out. I thought he was going to break his back trying to lift me.”
“You didn’t tell him that, did you?” Caleb asked.
Corrine’s husband was the same size as her, which Caleb always found funny. Not that Corrine was petite by any means, being five-foot-nine herself, but Corrine had always dated men taller than her, saying she hated feeling like an Amazon, yet here she was married to the exact opposite she said she always wanted.
“Of course not. I know enough when to hold my tongue. No need to bruise his ego. It’s bad enough I’ll probably weigh more than him once I’m full term.”
“So you’ve learned something as you’ve aged.”
“Really, Caleb. If you came here to insult me, you can get back on another plane and go home,” she said laughing.
“Insulting you is what I do best.” He paused for a minute, running out of things to say. “You sure you don’t need anything?”
She sighed. “What I want is my brother back.”
He waited a second, held her stare, and then finally said, “I’m getting there, Corrine.”
“I see that. I haven’t seen you in a year, we don’t talk as much, but there’s something different about you. Lighter maybe?”
He wasn’t about to say anything about Celeste right now. It wasn’t the place. “Whatever you say.”
She laughed again. “Does Mom know you’re here?”
“No.”
“Are you going to tell her, or just get a hotel and fly home—to Lake Placid—in a few days? Hmm, I like knowing something Mom doesn’t.”
“Brat,” he said without much heat. “I’m going there as soon as the nurse comes in and kicks me out. Don’t forewarn Mom, please.”
“What’s it worth to you?”
He should have known nothing would be easy about this visit home. “I can pick up and move before you’re discharged from the hospital and then you’ll be back to square one.”
“Talk about a brat,” she said. “Seriously, Caleb. Welcome home, even if it’s just for a few days. Make sure you come say bye to me before you go back to your cabin in the woods.”
“How did you know?” he asked.
“I didn’t. I just guessed. But thanks for telling me that, too.”
Caleb left shortly after the nurse came in and said visiting hours were over. He didn’t bother to argue, since he could see Corrine looked tired. So instead he went to his rental car and sat there for a minute contemplating his next move.
He knew his sister would give him thirty minutes max to make it home before she sent a message to his mother, so he really had no choice but to go there. Otherwise, his parents would hunt him down.
Pulling into his parents’ driveway, he saw his parents sitting on their front porch relaxing, just like they did most of the time when he was a kid. They loved their porch swing and often retired there at night.
The quiet neighborhood he grew up in didn’t offer enough for him, but then, moving to California proved that the opposite didn’t hold true either. Trying to find the place he belonged was harder than he thought.
“Caleb,” his mother said, smiling when he climbed out of the car. He fully expected her to be surprised, but she wasn’t, he could tell.
“Corrine called you?” He should have known she wouldn’t keep her word. Double brat.
“No. I knew you’d come,” she said, standing up and walking toward him, her arms wide open for a hug. He’d never admit how much he missed those hugs. Part of him wished he didn’t stay away so long, but the other part knew he needed it for his sanity.
“You can’t tell me Corrine is in the hospital and expect me to do nothing.”
“Exactly,” his father said, walking over and hugging him too. Yeah, coming home might be what he needed; only he never realized it before.
It’d been a year since he’d been home, yet it seemed like just yesterday.
***
The next morning, Caleb rolled over and glanced at the alarm clock flashing in his room. His parents must not come in here often, since the clock had a thick layer of dust on it. His room was exactly the same as it was when he left for college in California at seventeen. Oddly enough, there was no comfort in that.
He’d been so exhausted by the time he climbed the stairs to his old room that he undressed and collapsed facedown and fell asleep.
He’d been up working all night before his mother had called him. She’d actually woken him up with her call, and he was lucky he had enough wits about him to make arrangements and leave as fast as he had.
There was no sleeping on the flight here, as he’d never been able to sleep on a plane before. So instead he pulled his laptop out and got some more work done. This “no timeline” thing with Nick was working out great.
He never thought he’d want to work for another person before, but their arrangement seemed to benefit both of them. Some of Caleb’s best and fastest work had been in the last few weeks.
Nick would shoot him an email, tell him what direction to move in, and Caleb just got to work. Having free rein never felt so good before.
He grabbed his cell phone and looked at the time, saw it was a little after eight and that he had a text message from Celeste. He’d totally forgotten to text her last night like he’d said.
Responding back quick, he let her know Corrine was fine and he’d explain more later. He hoped to be home in a day or so.
He was going to ask after Sparky but figured he better not. If Sparky wasn’t behaving, he’d leave right away, but he knew he needed to spend a bit more time here. Besides, Celeste would tell him Sparky was fine regardless, he knew that.
Grabbing a change of clothes, he made his way to the hall bath and showered, then walked to the kitchen. Both of his parents were at the table drinking coffee.
“Morning,” his mother said. “What can I get you for breakfast?”
“Nothing,” he said. “Coffee is good.” They were both looking at him more closely than he felt comfortable with. “What?” he said.
“We can’t look at our only son?” his father said. “It’s not like we see you often. Or even talk.”
His father was gruffer, just like Caleb. He often spoke his mind and very rarely got emotional. The hug last night might have been the tenth one his father had given him in his lifetime. He refused to remember the one from last time. No, he didn’t want any memories of that.
“Sorry,” he said, looking down, feeling guilty but knowing he’d make the same decisions again if he had to do it over. He had to leave, there was no choice. Not when he was seventeen, and not when he came back five years ago and left quickly after. The three visits he’d had in the last few years were only a few days long, too.
“How are you holding up?” his mother asked.
“I’m fine, why are you asking? How’s Corrine?”
“Corrine is fine. They’re looking at releasing her home for some bed rest today and then reevaluating her in a week or so. And you know why we’re asking you.”
He did, and hated that they were bringing it up. Unfortunately, it was hard to ignore. “It’s not the same thing.”
“Of course it’s not. But it’s the first time something serious has come up in years. Enough to bring you home with no notice. We know why you left California, Caleb, and we don’t blame you, but I worry this might bring up some things to make you run again.”
“I’ve got nothing to run from now. I didn’t back then, either.”
His father snorted. “You’ve always run from yourself, Caleb.”
Again, his father pulled no punches. “I’m not running now. I’ll go back home later today or tomorrow and everything will be back to normal. I’ll return to work and Corrine will be fine. You’ll keep sending me multiple emails that I’ll ignore and then I’ll spoil my niece or nephew something crazy.”
His mother looked at his father and then back to h
im. “Are you going to let us visit you in Lake Placid?”
“Damn Corrine.” All the places he’d lived, he’d never told them a city.
“Don’t get mad at your sister. She only wants what’s best for you. Since she said you showed signs of the old Caleb, we are all curious,” his mother said.
His parents had never visited him anywhere but California. They’d never asked, either. If they thought he was healed enough to broach it, the least he could do was consider it.
“If I let you come visit, will you not send as many emails when you get home?” he asked, smiling and actually feeling relieved he said it. Maybe he was finding himself more than he thought and not just giving lip service to his family when they asked.
“Of course not. Could be if you responded more often, then I wouldn’t send as many,” his mother said back. Then she stood up and walked over to where he was sitting, and wrapped an arm around his shoulders from behind. “I believe you really are getting there, Caleb. Is it where you’re living, or something else?”
No way was he saying anything else. If they did visit, they’d find out about Celeste, if there was anything to even find out. That could be a long time from now. He knew his parents wouldn’t leave Corrine anytime soon if she was still having issues.
“I like where I’m living now.” Then just because he felt like it, he added, “They have awesome cookies there.”
His parents looked at each other confused, then back to him. “I didn’t know you had such a sweet tooth.”
“I never used to. Like I said…great cookies in Lake Placid.”
On Purpose
“Why is it I never find you just sitting in the shade reading a book?”
Celeste turned to see Cole standing in the doorway to the new cottage being renovated for Max’s patients. She’d been in here looking around and putting samples of paint colors on the walls next to the tiles.
“Like I’ve got time. How come you never do that?”
He snorted. “I don’t like to read.”
“You never did. Why are you here?” she asked, moving more tiles around next to the paint stripe she’d put on the bathroom wall.
“Just came to visit.”
“You always have a purpose. What’s it this time?”
“How many colors of paint do you need?”
“That’s not why you came here, but since you asked, there are three bathrooms, one for each room. I want the rooms to have their own unique look and theme. They have to be calming, so I’m trying to find the right mixtures of tones for that.”
“Whatever you say. I doubt they’re going to notice while they recover.”
“Of course they will.”
She remembered everything about her recoveries. Every minute she was in the hospital, she’d fantasized about making it more soothing and calming. She knew it was a pipe dream back then and should have been happy she was alive, but having some relaxing colors might have gone a long way back then, too. Sometimes the simplest things could brighten an otherwise bleak existence in time.
He picked up a slate gray tile and held it next to a peach-toned paint. “This looks nice with the white trim.”
She’d thought the same thing. “I thought you didn’t care.”
With a shrug, he looked away and put his hands in his pockets. “Have you heard from Caleb?”
She knew a guilty face when she saw one. “I did. He texted me this morning that his sister is doing well and should be released later today. He’ll probably catch a flight tomorrow. Why?”
“No reason. Does he need me to get him in Burlington?”
She was shocked he was offering. Turning, she put her hands on her hips. “What did you do?”
“Nothing,” he said, looking at another wall.
“Cole. I’ve known you my whole life. You’ve got guilt written all over your face. What did you say?” She narrowed her eyes for good measure.
He blew out a breath. “Nothing more than normal.”
“You didn’t?! Really! You put him through the paces knowing his sister was in the hospital and he was rushing to her side. What’s wrong with you?”
“He said he understood. He has a sister, too,” Cole argued.
“Not the same thing. I expected better manners from you.”
“I’m just trying to protect you.”
“You don’t have to protect me anymore. I’m a full-grown woman with a successful business. I can handle myself.”
“I’ve been protecting you since the womb. You wouldn’t be here today if I wasn’t covering you.”
“Don’t bring that up now. I’m over it,” she said, crossing her arms.
“And didn’t I help you fifteen years later?”
“That’s low, Cole,” she said. She didn’t expect him to stoop to that level, which just proved how bad he felt about what happened with Caleb.
“Yeah, it was. Sorry.” He dropped his shoulders and she wanted to relent but didn’t.
“What’s this all about?”
“You work too hard. You’re always working. You shouldn’t overdo it. How do you feel?”
“I feel great. I feel wonderful. I haven’t felt this good in years. What, you want me to spend more time with Caleb? Because that’s what I’d do if I didn’t work as much.”
She watched him cringe and wanted to congratulate herself for getting under his thick skin. She was getting sick of him sounding like a broken record with her life.
“You’re always taking care of other people. When is someone going to take care of you?” he asked.
She softened then, she couldn’t help it. “I do what I like, Cole. This fulfills me. You know that.”
“You should have a family of your own by now. Not waiting on other people all the time.”
Her heart broke just a little when he said that. “You know that may never happen. I’m doing the next best thing for me right now.”
“Nothing is impossible. You of all people should realize that.”
“I do. And I understand that, but I’m not banking on it. Maybe if you found someone for yourself, you’d let up on me a bit. If I’m supposed to have a family of my own, why don’t you?”
“Never going to happen, Celeste,” he said stubbornly.
This was news to her. “Why’s that?”
“I’ll never put a wife through what Mom went through. I won’t walk out the door each night and have her worrying when or if I’ll return. It’s not just my job as a Trooper, but also the Reserves. I go to war, you know that. That’s not fair to anyone.”
“Still the protector. Not just of me, but everyone. Serving this county. Serving your country. Why can’t you let up a bit and try to enjoy life?”
“I can’t, okay? I just can’t,” he said, stalking about the room.
She’d never seen him this way before and wanted to question him, but decided against it. In the mood he was in right now, she’d get nowhere.
“Someday you might change your mind,” she said softly.
“I doubt it.” He shook his head and walked over to a window, looking out over the water, and then turned back to her. “So what was wrong with Caleb’s sister?”
“Corrine is pregnant and ended up in the hospital. I don’t have any other facts. He’d said he’d fill me in when he got home. You know how chatty he is,” she said, giggling.
“Yeah, I know.” He stopped and laughed, and for a moment whatever was bothering him was wiped clean now. “He survived my flight.”
“I should have never asked you to take him up. I wouldn’t have if I didn’t realize he was desperate to get home.”
“Yeah. I get that. And for what it’s worth, I don’t think he is such a bad guy.”
“Are you giving your approval?” she asked, smiling.
“No. Yes. I don’t know. Is there anything to give approval to? I got the impression this was casual.”
It hurt to hear him say that. No, she and Caleb hadn’t talked about anything exclusive or serious.
She didn’t think she needed to, especially since she knew he hadn’t been with anyone else since he moved here.
Yet hearing Cole say that was like a tiny spike in the belly. “I don’t know what it is. Right now we’re enjoying each other and it’s working. He needs his space and, as you so kindly pointed out, I work all the time.”
“But he left his dog with you?”
He did, which showed it had to be more than casual, and Celeste held that thought close to her chest for the moment.
“Sparky enjoys my company, but I’m sure he is missing Caleb. He paced around a lot last night.”
“Does Caleb know?”
She knew what Cole was asking but decided to make him spell it out. “About what?”
“About you?”
She leaned against the wall, getting comfortable. “He knows a lot about me. He knows I own and operate a B&B, that I like his dog, that I’m a good baker, and that I kiss really well.”
“Too much information, Celeste. You do that shit on purpose.”
“Of course I do.”
“Does he know about what happened to you as a kid?”
“You mean that I had cancer and almost died? How hard is that to say?”
“Hard, okay? It hurts to say and hurts to think about. Does he know?” Cole asked again.
“No. All he knows is that I had melanoma a year ago and that I’ve got scars all over my body from having moles removed. Want to know how he knows about those scars?” she asked, smirking.
“Urgh!” Cole said, putting his hands up to his ears. “I don’t know why I bother trying to have sensible conversations with you.”
“This is a sensible conversation?” She laughed and walked away from the wall, then wrapped her arms about her twin. “Cole, I love you. I’ll always love you. I know you mean well, but you need to loosen up. We’re both grown adults with lives of our own. We both have made decisions in our lives and will continue to do so. Let it be.”
“I’ll never be able to let it be. It will always be there. Always in the back of my head. I don’t want you hurt either.”
“You can’t control that, Cole. It’s only eating you alive. How is it that I’m fine with what’s happened to me, and you aren’t? You didn’t live it.”