by Natalie Ann
Celeste didn’t want thanks, and she didn’t want to absolve any guilt, so instead she said, “He said he didn’t have a lot of social skills.”
“He has more than he wants to admit. The thing is, his life turned into a game, you could say.”
Celeste couldn’t believe they were talking about the same person right now. “How’s that?”
“Caleb made a name for himself at a very young age. He was dealing with people in their thirties, forties, and older on a daily basis before he could even legally drink. People wanted something from him and he made sure he got something out of it as well. Never malicious, but never forming attachments either. His MO was going in always thinking they were playing dirty, even if they weren’t. The last thing he wanted to do was be taken advantage of.”
“This from a guy who can’t stand to be around people?” Celeste asked.
“He was a different person back then. But honestly, he’s never been good with people. I guess that was the game part. A game with himself. How convincing he could be. It probably makes him sound like a bad person, but really he wasn’t. Just misguided, I think.”
“And lonely,” she said.
She couldn’t imagine never having a close friend or relationship. Never knowing there was at least one person that she knew was there for her, who didn’t want something in return.
“I believe he was, but he’d never admit it. Needless to say, he met Kasey in college and we thought things were different.”
Walking on boggy ground here, so Celeste was honest. “I don’t know much about Kasey. We haven’t talked about her.”
“That’s fine, and I won’t say anything, either. That has to come from Caleb. I’ll just tell you that she was his friend. His true friend. Charlie and I hoped for so much more from that friendship, and when we found out she was pregnant, we pushed more than we should have. Probably more than what was wise.”
“Did you push Caleb away?”
Connie picked up her scone and finally took a bite, then looked lost in thought. “That was the start of it. We interfered more than we should have. Badgered him to get married. It was around that time he stopped responding to us as quickly. Still, I think he let it slide because of Adam. He was so in love with his son.”
Celeste saw the sorrow in Connie’s eyes. “Did you spend a lot of time with your grandson?”
“Not as much as I wished we could have. But I saw the joy it brought Caleb. My husband and I, we had long since given up hope that Caleb would settle down and have a family, even though he was so young. We just saw his tendencies and figured no one would put up with him. But he loved his son so much. He looked at life differently then. He was meant to be a father.”
“Destined,” Celeste whispered, and felt her heart shatter once more. She pulled within herself and asked, “So after Adam passed away he stopped communicating with everyone?”
“Not at first, but we nagged him. Came out to see him and check on him. We knew he was hurting bad. He didn’t really ignore us when we called…”
“Unlike now,” Celeste said, her lips twitching, hoping to turn this conversation around. She was getting close to tears.
“He’s getting better though,” Connie said, grinning back. “Needless to say, I just want you to know that under it all, Caleb is a good person.”
“Someone who needs to find his way in life,” she said.
“Exactly. I’m glad you understand, and hope you don’t think I’m meddling,” Connie said.
“Not at all. You’re much milder than my mother’s been. And just so you know, Caleb and I are friends, but it is more than friendship. How much more, I really couldn’t say, though.”
“Thank you for telling me that much.” She took another bite of her scone. “These are fabulous. Where did you get these? Caleb said the sweets in Lake Placid were wonderful, but I had no idea.”
Celeste threw her head back and let out a much-needed laugh. “Sometimes Caleb is so easy to please.”
All You Need
Caleb was pacing up and down the driveway. He’d discovered Sparky was gone about ten minutes ago, and when he couldn’t find his mother he suspected they were together getting into mischief.
That his father stayed on the dock and didn’t try to calm Caleb was the first indication that he wasn’t going to like what was going on.
“What did you do?” Caleb asked the minute his mother turned down the driveway with Sparky trotting alongside of her.
She tried to look innocent but he wasn’t buying it. “I went for a walk with your dog. It’s a beautiful fall day. How was the fishing?”
“Don’t change the subject. I don’t want you going down that path again.”
“I can’t walk down the road again?” she asked, looking around his yard. “Should I go in another direction? Or do you mean don’t go toward Celeste’s house?”
“Don’t play word games with me.” He couldn’t believe how angry he was right now.
“Unclench your fists and relax, Caleb.”
He couldn’t. He saw everything happening again. The reason he left…that no one ever let him be himself. No one ever let him live his life his way.
“What did you say to her?”
“She’s a lovely young woman. I didn’t say much at all, and I’m sure she’d verify it. Matter of fact, she said that she didn’t feel comfortable talking about things you hadn’t broached with her yet.”
“Like what?”
“Oh, I’m sure you know that list covers a lot of bases, so I’ll let you have that conversation with her.”
“You really know how to push my buttons, don’t you?”
“Someone has to. I’m not sure Sparky has mastered that yet and you need to be on your toes around Celeste. She’s a pretty smart woman.”
“She is, but that’s beside the point.”
“She’s almost too smart to be with you, but she seems to have the patience of a saint, so that works in your favor.”
He didn’t know what his mother was trying to do right now, where she was going with this conversation, but she was making his head spin. “So compliment her and insult me? You think that is going to fix what you just did?”
“I didn’t do anything other than go for a walk and have a nice conversation with your girlfriend. You’ll forgive me for that,” his mother said confidently.
“Don’t be so sure.”
She sighed and walked a few feet closer to him, picked up his hand, and just held it. “I took a calculated risk. I may have overstepped myself in your eyes, but it was pretty harmless in Celeste’s.”
“So you think. You’re just guessing and hoping your risk pays off. The question is, was it worth it to you?”
He closed his eyes when she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight. “You’re my baby, Caleb. Any risk I take is worth it to get you back.” She stepped away and blotted her eyes. “For what it’s worth, she might be the best thing that’s happened to you.”
“All that in a few minutes’ conversation?”
“A few minutes is all you need when you know it’s right.”
***
Celeste finished up her chores and contemplated going to Caleb’s. She didn’t feel guilty over her conversation with Connie. Nothing was really said that she didn’t already know or suspect.
Well, that wasn’t true—she didn’t know specifics. She knew Caleb wasn’t good at relationships, she knew he had a son that died, and she knew that he was really smart. All Connie did was fill in a few gaps that really left more questions than answers.
The biggest heartache for Celeste was hearing Connie talk about Caleb being a father and how much he loved it. She bet he’d felt like his son was the one person in his life that would accept him for who he was, not what he could gain from him. Someone he didn’t have to manipulate. Though if she was honest with herself, it didn’t seem Caleb was playing games with her, so that was something.
Yes, the game part of the conversation threw h
er for a loop, but after a lot of thought she realized that was Caleb’s defense mechanism. He was protecting himself before someone could hurt him. Whether it was right or wrong was debatable, but since it was a part of his life long before her, she wouldn’t belabor it.
She knew a little about wanting to only be loved for herself. About being accepted and not looked at like she was a freak.
Although, she never had to worry about people wanting something from her like it seemed Caleb had experienced growing up.
She was going to have to come to terms with what his mother had said and how much she was willing to open herself up to him.
Part of her wanted to tell him more about her past and the possible side effects, but the other part didn’t want to presume either. It was a conversation for another time. One she hoped to have without crying. For as little as she talked about her cancer, she never voiced her fears about the side effects. It was kind of the elephant in the room for her. People knew it, they saw it, but pretended the big hulking beast wasn’t hiding in the corner.
Once she pushed those thoughts from her head, she focused on Caleb, knowing he was going to be upset. Plus she didn’t want him mad at his mother. She didn’t want him reverting back to the person she’d met months ago. A person, that by the sounds of it, was much worse than when she’d introduced herself to him in the parking lot of the hardware store.
So while she thought some more, she baked some peanut butter cookies, hoping to ease the frustration of another visitor for Caleb.
A little while later, she pulled her car into Caleb’s driveway and was greeted by Sparky running around and jumping in the air. It was so nice to be welcomed like that.
“Hey, boy. Two visits in one day.”
“At least someone around here is happy.”
She turned her head and saw Caleb sitting on the porch swing. She’d noticed it before and found it strange it was in the front of his house. She figured it would be better served facing the lake like hers, but she’d never questioned him on it.
Walking over, she sat down next to him. “I brought you cookies.”
“My parents are here right now, so I’ll have to take you up on that offer later.”
Okay, so maybe he wasn’t as upset as she might have thought. “My door is always open. But in this case, it’s your favorite: peanut butter cookies.”
He reached over and took the container from her hand and peeled the lid back, then reached in for one. “Thanks.”
She put her head on his shoulder. “Are you okay?”
“I’ve had better days.”
“Don’t be mad at your mother. She didn’t divulge any deep, dark secrets. I’ve known you’ve been a grouch and loner from day one.”
He shook his head and took a bite of the cookie. “She told me. Said that you didn’t feel comfortable talking about certain things.”
“Did she tell you what those things were?”
“No, she only said that there was a huge list of things you didn’t know about me. Something along those lines.”
“Now you’re going to make me feel bad saying that to her.”
He rubbed his hand on her thigh. “Don’t. You know more about me than anyone else. In some cases, more than my parents.”
That was a sad thought. “Your mother loves you very much.”
“I know. It’s just hard to deal with the meddling and interference.”
“Really, Caleb. That’s nothing. You don’t see them often, you don’t talk to them much, either. It’s not like your mother came marching into your place of employment and started to give you the third degree about me.”
“She wouldn’t dare.”
“Then you’ve got it better than me, because Cole did just that months ago. Right in front of my guests and all.”
He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “You didn’t tell me that.”
“It didn’t matter. It’s nothing new with him and doesn’t change how I feel about anything.”
“How do you feel right now?”
“About what?” She wasn’t sure why her heart was racing so much and wondered where he could be going with his train of thought.
“My mother’s visit, for starters.”
“Oh, that was nothing. Please, she is mild. My mother has been all over my case for months to meet you.”
“Again, you haven’t said a word.”
“Because you’d go running for the border if I did. Besides, you had to deal with Cole, and I know that had to be twenty times worse than what I went through having a lovely conversation with your mother.”
“Only twenty times worse?”
“Okay, fifty times worse. Cole can be overbearing at times, I know that, but he means well.”
“I understand more now why he is the way he is,” Caleb said.
“There’s more to it than that, but that’s a conversation for another time. And it’s more about him than me, really. Still, your parents are no different. They love you and want what is best for you.”
“What if their best isn’t what I want?”
“See, that’s the funny thing about life. Everyone thinks they know what’s best for everyone else without worrying about themselves first.”
He nodded his head. “My mother said you were smart.”
“So I fooled her—good. I’m glad she got that impression.”
“I don’t think there was anything to fool, and I’m not sure you could make a bad impression on anyone.”
“Oh, now you’re being the fool. I’ve told you before that I’m not perfect. Not everyone is impressed by me, but I get over it. It’s not about them, it’s about me.”
“So back to my first question, how do you feel?”
“About me?”
“No,” he said, “about me. About us?”
“I feel pretty darn good. What about you?”
“I feel like maybe it’s time we got our chance at happiness,” he said, kissing her forehead again.
There were the tears she was trying to hold back earlier while baking. She just hoped he didn’t guess the cause of them, that she may never achieve the level of happiness that he had, and she most likely couldn’t give it to him, either.
Pretend
“How did I know you’d be into Halloween?”
Celeste removed more items from her holiday supply bins and looked over to smile at Caleb. “I’m into all holidays, but Halloween especially.”
“Are you secretly a witch? Do I have to worry about a spell you might have cast on me?”
She loved this side of him, the teasing one that she alone seemed to be privy to. “No spells. But I’d say you fell for my charms just the same.”
“You’re kind of cute when you play with words.”
“You’re in an awfully good mood today. Is there any special reason for it?”
“Sparky has some pent-up energy, so we’ve been outside raking leaves. Well, I was raking while he ran through the piles, but still, it got me thinking that maybe you could use some help with your leaves.”
She looked around the yard and saw them all over the place. She’d been dreading doing it this year. It was one of the chores she hated and actually considered hiring some teenagers for the job.
“Since you just spent time doing yours, you don’t really want to help me here,” she said, going back to her unpacking.
“Let me help you. I’ve got nothing else better to do.”
“No work?” she asked.
“I’m done with my part for now and taking a break. There’s not much for me to do around my house anymore, either. Normally when I was done working on a house, I just moved and found another one.”
“Hang on and let me get you a rake.”
His laughter was music to a song she wasn’t sure she’d ever hear. Sure, he smiled and laughed at times, but never like this. Never this carefree and playful.
“Or I can help you decorate your house?” he offered.
“Aren’t you just full of
support today. Decorating is something I enjoy. If you truly don’t mind with the leaves, I’ve got an electric blower that is easier than the rake.”
“I actually brought my own, which I’m sure is bigger and better than yours.”
“Boys and their toys. Well then, go at it.”
For over an hour she strategically placed pumpkins and candles, flying witches and cauldrons, broomsticks and scarecrows all over her property.
“It’s like another world here,” Caleb said when he came around to the front of her yard. Wisely he did the back first, and got the biggest part of the property done. Thankfully there weren’t that many leaves in the front.
“Go big or go home. Blow the leaves over here by the witch. I want to use a pile with my decorations. Don’t worry about the land over there. I never touch it.”
“The woods?” he asked. “You own that?”
“Yeah. It’s not really woods, just land that I haven’t cleared yet.”
“How much land are we talking?” He looked over at the property that was full of bare trees and tons of fallen leaves right now.
“A little less than an acre. I’ve got tons of ideas of what to do with it, but can’t decide, so for now, it’s just nice scenery for my guests, along with some seclusion.”
He started to blow the leaves toward her. “What are you going to do with these?”
“Have body parts sticking out, what else?”
“That doesn’t sound too inviting for a bed and breakfast,” he said, joking with her.
“The kids love it when they come trick or treating, though.”
“I’m sure they do.”
She watched as he took his flannel shirt off and tossed it over the railing on her porch. She’d long since shed her sweater. It was a nice fall day, perfect for a T-shirt and jeans.
By the time he was done with the leaves, she’d finished with the black theater soot on her zombie and scarecrow and was ready to start spreading cobwebs everywhere.
“Let me help with the fun stuff,” he said.
She angled her head, not sure what to make of his mood. “Are you really Caleb? There was no body snatching or anything, right?”