by John Riley
‘Fine.’ He turned back the way they had come.
‘Take…’ She choked up again, on the verge of emotional breakdown, ‘take St-Stevie. Don’t leave him there.’
He turned to look at her, anger and sorrow mingling on his face. He nodded.
Sarah didn’t waste any time watching him go, what would be the point? Mary had been right after all; all Sarah wanted was to be left alone in her hiding place. She set off determinedly for the factory, adamant that she wouldn’t cry. She already knew Laura wouldn’t be there. The girl had seen Steven when the monster dropped him, she had known he was dead before she had left and her brother had been her focal point for years. Sarah’s eyes started to fill with tears despite her resolve. She’d only known the two for a few hours but their love for each other had been a shining beacon that was obvious to see. Laura hadn’t lost a sibling, she’d lost a child.
Sarah began to run. Her legs, hip, neck and spine jolted with pain at every footfall but she didn’t care. The pain helped her to stop thinking, kept her rooted in the moment so she stopped crying for a reason and just ran. Everybody was either dead or gone. She was alone, truly alone, in a world that contained monsters hell-bent on destroying who she was. With Steven’s death, her tentative optimism towards taking the leap of faith and being able to try and make it work with Daniel, was gone. There were no guarantees of anything. Standing at the precipice now she could look down and see the rocks. Death, or loss of self, or immortality with benefits. No way of knowing before the plunge; who could make that choice?
She could see the factory, could see the window and didn’t slow down. Daniel could still be there, then the questions would be moot and the whole thing would be over one way or another. She was lost, scared and alone and she needed the man she loved. Needed his rooted, un-confusing demeanour and the warmth of his arms. In choosing to not make a decision, she had made a decision. Miles was right, what could any of them do but give in and comply? She vaulted through the window, her breath harsh. The store room was dark as she charged through it, then sprinted down the hall. She burst onto the factory floor and kept moving, heading for the vat,
‘Daniel!?’ She called, her breathing coming in gasps, ‘Daniel?’
He was gone, but she saw a note attached to the hatch.
“Sarah.
I can understand you being afraid of me. I can understand you needing time to come to terms with my new reality. But I can’t understand how I didn’t see that the problems we’ve been having had begun before I was turned. Whether I’m slow and am only just realising, or I’ve gained new insight thanks to the change I don’t know, but I do know this; I deserve better than you.
Dan
Sarah dropped to her knees slowly, clutching the note.
24
The light was steadily fading now. Clutching an arm around herself Sarah sat on the floor and struggled to re-read Daniel’s note for the fiftieth time. She’d lost him. She had finally and unequivocally managed to push him away. The irony that she had managed it just when he had become dangerous and interesting again wasn’t lost on her. She loved him, she’d proven that in the end by charging in hoping he’d be here, but it didn’t matter. He wasn’t wrong about her not being good enough for him, or at least she didn’t believe she’d done enough for him whilst they’d been together. Either way he was gone, it was her fault and now she had to figure out what to do with literally nobody left to turn to. Well, almost nobody.
She put the note down and pulled her phone from her pocket. The battery was telling her it was at eighteen percent, more than enough for a phone call but perhaps she should be careful with it. Who knew when she would get to charge it up again? No. There she went again believing she could just hide and it would all blow over. She tapped the phone a few times and held it to her ear.
‘Hello?’ came the tiny voice of her dad.
‘Hey Dad, it’s me.’ She had to clear her throat to get the sentence out,
‘Hey Sweetpea,’ She could hear talking in the background, ‘it’s been a while.’
‘I know…’ She said, her eyes closed, ‘how…’
She wanted to ask how they were, where they were, whether they had been turned, but how could she without sounding insane?
‘Are you ok?’ He asked, raising his voice as the talking turned to shouts,
‘What?’ She shook herself, ‘yeah… no… not really.’
‘You’re going to have to speak up I can barely hear you.’ Her dad said,
‘I said no!’ She yelled down the phone,
‘Sweetpea I know i... a whi… got to g…’ His voice was barely discernible from the shouts now, then the call cut out and there was nothing.
She took the phone from her ear. She had no idea whether her parents were ok, but she hadn’t had any idea before either. Her recent call list showed her Daniel’s number. She pressed it and held the phone to her ear again.
Silence.
The phone began to ring, it rang for a while and then went to voicemail. But of course, he didn’t have his phone. The club owner did. She put the phone back in her pocket.
Alone. Although perhaps Laura was here. She turned, staring through the gloom at the canteen door. Something other than interest drew her up and had her walking. She left the note behind, it was pointless to keep hold of it. The catwalk steps made her legs protest but she ignored them. If she let herself get caught she wouldn’t be in pain anymore she mused mindlessly, that would be nice. Entering the canteen, she saw that Laura was indeed absent. But the bright green plastic of the radio caught her eye. What she needed more than anything at the moment was Daniel, she would settle for company and the voices on the radio would have to do.
She turned it on and slouched into a chair, one of the sleeping bags wrapped around her.
‘...need to go to her doctor!’ it said through the static, ‘that gets the count up to a total of just over three hundred people suddenly fit and healthy when they should be six feet under. A lot of you have got to be asking “what the hell is going on” by now though right? I mean we’ve all seen the video of the guy running out and getting hit by the bus. You can see his arms flapping around like wet spaghetti, he’s so dead. Then he’s talking to the police and there’s not a scratch on him! Everyone said hoax. Hell, I said hoax. But then there’s the mass walk out from the Moreton; all patients, all healed. Whether that’s from a cold or cancer. Suddenly there’s stories popping up everywhere and I’m getting calls of Angels and Demons roaming the streets. I mean if this is the biblical apocalypse I want my money back on that boat I bought because this sure as hell doesn’t look like rain to me!’
Sarah snorted despite herself as the DJ told the audience to ‘stay tuned for more after this’ and music started. Over three hundred people who would have died but instead had become monsters. She was sure more than three hundred people had been changed by now, but then again it was Sunday, who went out on Sunday? It wouldn’t be long before everybody was either dead or changed. She’d hoped at the start that there was something she could do, but now she was sure of the opposite. Her choices now seemed to be stay here and starve, leave and stay miraculously unchanged but starve, or leave and die. She wouldn’t have to leave any time soon though, Daniel wouldn’t be coming back and surely Laura would just go home so her mother wouldn’t be back. She felt a pang of guilt and sadness for the woman who had lost a son. Then again, she might not have feelings anymore, who knew what the monsters felt or thought?
She fiddled with the corner of the sleeping bag and wondered what she would be doing now if none of this had happened. Probably just getting home working out, hoping Daniel had started dinner so she didn’t have to cook and equally hoping that he wouldn’t want to watch another episode of that historical drama he loved. Daniel. She was halfway through pulling her phone from her pocket when she remembered he didn’t have his phone, might not love her and probably wasn’t even himself anymore.
She had been wrong earlier she re
alised as her eyes brimmed with tears, there was another thing she could do; she could kill herself. The thought, so strong and pleasant after the nightmare of the last twenty-four hours, scared the hell out of her. She wasn’t suicidal, had never once wanted to end her own life, so where had that come from? Was this just what it took for her to not want to live? She spared a few minutes whilst the music played to properly search her feelings, being brutally honest with herself.
No. No she didn’t want to die, nothing got better when you died, nothing got worse either but that was the point, life was about ups and downs. So, although this seemed to be the worst down she could ever imagine experiencing, at least that gave the chance for there to be an up in her future. The music stopped and she decided to concentrate on listening.
‘So, we’ve had a few texts!’ the DJ exclaimed excitedly, ‘here we go, “Rick, I was one of the patients, in with a broken arm. Now I’m healed and I believe. Go Jesus!” Well I like the enthusiasm! So, if this is you God and if you’re listening to ol’ Rick, just don’t start with the locusts, K thanks bye. Another text reads “Rick, love the show just wanted to say the Mayans nearly had it right!” Haha! Damn right, they were close! One more, we’ll do one more, erm… this one ok, “Rick everything they say is true, I got AIDS listening to your show and now I’m healed.” Oh, that’s good, all I can say to that is that it’s too bad they couldn’t heal your massive head trauma. Haha, there’s always one! Ok so we’re talking about the mysterious mystery of the healed masses and all joking aside I need to say I’m a sceptic… Because one I’m sane and two my haemorrhoids are still being a pain in my ass, pun intended. But hey, there’s nothing to say the good doctors over at the Moreton haven’t come up with some super cure that I just haven’t gotten wind of. That’d make a hell of a lot more sense than God deciding to fix some old guy’s genital warts.’
Sarah frowned. The DJ was irritating, but she couldn’t find another station without enduring hissing and moving from out of her warm sleeping bag cocoon. She didn’t hear the movement outside until the door was already opening. It was Mary.
‘Sarah?’ She asked, squinting into the darkness, ‘where is everybody?’
‘Mary!?’ Sarah managed to stand up despite her tiredness, she switched the radio off with shaking hands, ‘How… How are you…’
‘Holy crap Sarah you look awful.’ The other woman rushed to her and forced her to sit down with a hand on her shoulder, ‘where’s Miles?’
Sarah blinked up at her owlishly before shaking her head to clear her vision. It was difficult, night had seemed to sneak up on her without her noticing and the only light was the little red one on the radio.
‘He’s gone.’ She answered simply,
‘O...k’ Mary held the back of her hand to Sarah’s temple and tutted, ‘what about Laura and Steven?’
‘Stevie…’ Sarah’s eyes focused on Mary for a moment and then she looked away, ‘Stevie is dead.’
Mary straightened and stared down at Sarah,
‘He’s… He can’t be dead, how?’
‘One of your boys.’ Sarah said quietly, shifting to sit up straighter, ‘he broke his neck, I think, I’m not sure I just know he’s dead.’
‘Ok Sarah you need to slow down, you’re slurring and you’re not making any sense.’ Mary felt for Sarah’s pulse, ‘you’re running a little hot and your pulse is high for resting, where are Miles and Steven?’
‘They’re dead!’ Sarah yelled.
Mary sat down on a chair next to Sarah slowly.
‘God…’ She looked to Sarah sharply, ‘one of my boys attacked them?’
‘Just Steven.’ Sarah amended,
‘And he died?’
‘Yes.’
Mary wept silently. Sarah turned away, trying not to start herself.
‘Rather than being changed?’ Mary said suddenly,
‘Yes.’
‘But…’ The other woman held her hands to her mouth, ‘why didn’t he… because he was young?’
Sarah shrugged noncommittally.
‘But what about Miles,’ Mary asked, ‘you said he’s gone, where’s he gone?’
‘He went back to his family.’ Sarah said,
‘He’s gone to see if he can get turned?’
‘He’s gone to die.’ Sarah said angrily, Mary pursed her lips but didn’t respond. The silence stretched between them and Sarah fiddled with the radio in her hands.
‘What about Laura.’ Mary asked eventually, wiping her eyes carefully, ‘or did she…’
‘The last we saw Laura she was alive.’ Sarah answered, ‘she saw what happened to Stevie and she ran.’
‘Without her brother?’ Mary said with raised eyebrows,
‘He was already dead,’ Sarah sighed, ‘What could she do?’
Silence again. Sarah was starting to think that she was better at silence than she gave herself credit for, but perhaps she was too exhausted for conversation. Whatever the reason the silence stretched onwards until Mary made movements as if to leave,
‘What…’ Sarah’s voice croaked and she cleared her throat before trying again, ‘what are you going to do now?’
Mary frowned for a moment as if deciding whether to speak,
‘I’m going to my brother’s farm.’ She said finally. Sarah noted the lack of invitation and found she was glad, she’d never liked Mary.
‘What about your boys?’ Sarah asked, wondering how the other woman could sanction the idea of leaving her kids behind.
‘They’re meeting me there.’ She said simply. Sarah blinked for a moment,
‘Sorry, I’m tired, I must have misheard you,’ Sarah quipped, ‘it sounded like you said they were meeting you there.’
‘They are.’
Sarah nodded slowly,
‘So, you’re going to die too.’
‘No Sarah.’ The other woman huffed and stood up, ‘I’m going to look after my kids.’
‘But if they see you they’ll kill you.’ Sarah pointed out,
‘Which is why they won’t be seeing me.’ Mary stated, gathering sleeping bags from the floor and laying them out.
‘So what, you’re going to Mother them from afar?’ Sarah asked, watching her arrange the bags, ‘why not try and get turned?’
‘Because I don’t know what it will do to me.’ She answered plainly, ‘just looking at the boys I can see that it changes your body somehow, I mean, I managed to speak to them and they still sound the same but…’
‘You spoke to them?’ Sarah exclaimed, ‘how!?’
Mary sighed and patted the ground where the bags were.
‘I’ve got a few hours before I said I’d leave for my brother’s, so I’ll keep watch while you get some sleep.’ Sarah stared down at Mary sat on the floor, ‘Sarah I’m probably the last person who’s going to try and help you, I suggest you take the offer.’
Could she sleep? Yes. Probably for a few years, let alone a few hours.
‘Ok, but…’ She squirmed at the prospect of seeming weak before blurting, ‘don’t go while I’m asleep.’
Mary nodded and Sarah gratefully slipped to the floor and within moments, was asleep.
25
Sarah felt Mary’s hand on her shoulder and woke before the other woman shook her. She opened her eyes, it was pitch black. Mary turned the light on her phone on and Sarah blinked in the sudden glare. The other woman placed it down on the table next to them and looked across at Sarah.
‘It’s ten o’clock.’ She reached beside her and tossed Sarah a bag, it had the remainder of their food in it, ‘you may as well keep this, I don’t think it’ll last long but it’ll give you time to decide what you want to do.’
‘Mary.’ Sarah sat up, fishing through the bag for a breakfast bar, ‘Before you go… What happened after you stabbed Nathan.’
Mary looked down at her feet and shook her head. Sarah thought she meant she didn’t want to and was about to say it didn’t matter when Mary started talking.
‘I
didn’t mean to… No, that’s not true, I did mean to stab him.’ She looked up at Sarah with determination in her eyes, ‘the bastard had turned my babies into monsters and tortured them. He deserved what he got. But… I don’t like that I can say I’ve… Killed. Someone.’ Sarah let her get her thoughts together whilst she ate her bar.
‘I stabbed him,’ She started, miming the action, ‘then I let the boys go…’ She noted Sarah’s look, ‘No I don’t know why I did it. I guess I just knew that they’d hurt him. Even if they hurt me after it would have been worth it to see him splattered across the floor.’
‘You got Steven killed.’ Sarah pointed out heartlessly. Mary looked back at her feet, her eyes glazed over,
‘I know.’ She said mutedly, ‘I didn’t think about you, Miles and the kids. I just acted. Now Steven is dead and it’s my fault.’ She shook her head, ‘I’m not sorry that I set my boys free though. Nathan would have tortured us, I know he would. I wish Steven hadn’t died but…’
‘But at least you didn’t have to face any pain.’ Sarah was being something of a bitch, she wasn’t wrong, but still.
Mary looked about to argue the point, then nodded and shrugged,
‘I made a decision, with hindsight I still wouldn’t change what I did.’ She scrubbed absentmindedly at a mark on her skirt, ‘the safety of my children for Steven.’
Sarah wanted to be shocked and appalled, but she didn’t feel like she had any emotions left in her, not useful ones anyway. She had anger by the bucketful and enough fear for three people at least. Both emotions warred inside her, one saying run toward the violence, the other saying away. She was left rooted to the spot, filled with indecision. Mary seemed to take her silence for grudging acceptance and continued,