by Alan Katz
“Yeah, Mom, that’s lovely if you’re a substitute teacher,” Milton told her. “But what about reacting as a superhero to what the sign says?”
“I understand why you are upset, Milty,” Mrs. Worthy said. “But please don’t fear; at the Society of Substitutes, we have two mottos . . .”
“Yes, Mom?” Milton wanted to know.
“One: no problem is too big to overcome if you’ve got the brainpower of a superhero.”
Milton nodded.
“What’s the second motto, Mrs. Worthy?” Morgan asked.
“No problem is too big to overcome if you’ve got . . .”
“. . . the tools of a substitute teacher!”
“Yay, Mom!” Milton cheered, though he was not at all sure what her plan was. (Or if she even had one.)
“Clearly, we can’t just march into the lions’ den to capture Noah. So here’s my three-point, can’t-miss idea . . .”
Mrs. Worthy huddled with the kids and shared her plan just as you’d see someone share a secret in the movies.
“Whisper, whisper, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz,” Mrs. Worthy said.
“Mom, you’re just saying the words whisper and bzzz over and over,” Milton pointed out.
“Oh yes, sorry,” Mrs. Worthy said. “That’s how I’ve seen it done in the movies.”
Mrs. Worthy then shared the information that, as a substitute teacher, she knew quite a lot about cats. And lions were, after all, big cats.
“Tell me, kids, what do cats like best of all?” Mrs. Worthy challenged.
“Catnip?”
“Scratching posts?”
“Ballet?”
“YouTube videos?”
“No, the simple answer is cats love chasing things. Step one: I’ll pull out the laser pointer I use in class and distract them!” Mrs. Worthy said.
And that’s just what she did. Aiming the pinpoint-sized red laser beam into the lions’ den, she got the attention of the ferocious creatures. She squiggled and swirled the light beam around, finally stopping high on a remote corner of the den. All the lions then bunched up into that corner, trying to “catch” the beam.
“I know what’s next! I know what’s next!” Milton said.
“What’s that, dear?” his mother asked.
“Step two!”
“Exactly! The lions are out of the way. Now we need to draw Noah out from his hiding place,” Mrs. Worthy informed the pair. “Good thing I brought along my Official S.O.S. Num-Num Launcher.”
“Num-Num Launcher?” Morgan questioned.
“Certainly. It may look like an ordinary highlighter, but it’s actually a device to launch tasty treats. I carry it because you never know when you need to attract an evil ferret’s attention.”
With her left hand, Mrs. Worthy kept the lions at bay with the laser beam. With her right hand, she used her special S.O.S. spring-loaded highlighter to fling num-nums into the lions’ den.
And then . . . nothing . . .
“It didn’t work, Mom,” Milton said sadly. “Noah’s not taking the bait.”
And then the trio heard a sound that changed everything . . .
What do you think happens next?
“Chitter-chitter.”
The sound was soft. But it was just what Mrs. Worthy was waiting, and hoping, to hear . . .
“Chitter-chitter-chitter-chit.”
And then . . .
“Chitter-chitter-chitter-chit-chit-mucky-freg.”
Mrs. Worthy and the kids watched Noah slowly emerge from his hiding spot. He couldn’t resist the pile of nummy goodness that had landed in the lions’ den.
Noah scurried up to the mound of treats, licked his lips, and started gumming.
While Noah was distracted, Mrs. Worthy aimed her cell phone at the creature. Then she pressed a button to trigger the built-in Extend-A-Matic Ferret Auto-Grabber. In the blink of an eye, a cage on a giant rod zipped out of the phone. It reached all the way into the lions’ den and trapped Noah.
“You got him! Yeah, Mom!” Milton yelled.
“Yes, you got him! Nice work, Mom,” Morgan echoed, before correcting herself. “I mean, Mrs. Worthy.”
“Thank you both.” Mrs. Worthy smiled as she reeled in Noah’s cage out of the lions’ den. The cage stopped right at her feet, and she double-triple locked it to keep Noah securely behind bars. She then popped up the easy-carry handle so she could tote the caged ferret around the zoo.
Just then, Zookeeper Alice and the class walked by. Mrs. Worthy told Milton and Morgan to join the others on their zoo tour, and she’d meet them in a moment.
Once they were gone, Mrs. Worthy brought Noah back to the bus and asked Fritz to watch him. Glad to be getting his uniform back, and seeing that Noah was safely behind bars, Fritz agreed.
The rest of the zoo visit went pretty much as expected. The kids saw all the exhibits. Sarah and Max took selfies with some of the peacock. And David traded his peanut butter sandwich for a bunch of bananas. Both he and the gorilla were quite pleased.
The only real disappointment came when some of the kids wanted to buy helium balloons. See, the buffalo had bought all of them from the zebra earlier in the day, and he simply refused to sell any to the kids.
At the end of the tour, Mrs. Worthy and the kids thanked Zookeeper Alice. She told them they were welcome at the zoo anytime. But she also asked them to please not come back for a few weeks.
“After the day I’ve had, I’m planning a long vacation. A very long vacation.”
Then the second-grade class from Beacher Elementary School went back to their bus. This time, they found . . .
. . . Fritz the bus driver, back in his uniform, standing outside the bus door to greet the class after their zoo tour. He gave a high five to each kid, and he even gave a double high five to Mrs. Worthy. And as she boarded the bus, Fritz whispered that Noah was in his cage, safely tucked inside the luggage compartment.
“Let’s see how he likes the potholes on the expressway,” Fritz said, smiling.
Once the kids and their superhero substitute teacher were in their seats, Fritz hopped behind the wheel. He announced, “Next stop, Beacher Elementary School! Enjoy the ride, kids!”
Compared to the zoo visit, the ride home was pretty uneventful. Milton could have sat next to any of his friends. And yet . . . he chose a seat next to his mom. Morgan did the same. (Why sit with any old second grader when you could sit with a true superhero who’d just saved the world?)
“Mom, you did it again,” Milton said to his mom. “You’re pretty awesome!”
“Thank you, Milton,” Mrs. Worthy said, blushing a little. “So, what did you learn today?”
“Learn?” Milton asked. “Um, a bunch of random animal facts, I guess.”
“Yes,” Morgan agreed. “Like . . . we learned that a group of twelve or more cows is called a flink.”
“Right, a flink,” Milton said. “I like that word.”
“Wait a minute, you two,” Mrs. Worthy said. “I can think of quite a few other things you learned.”
“Like what, Mrs. Worthy?” Morgan asked.
“Well,” Milton’s mom said, “you learned that solving a problem takes brainpower.”
“I guess we did,” Milton said.
“You learned that a substitute teacher has many tools in her arsenal.”
“Yes, you’re right,” Morgan told her.
“You also learned that good always triumphs over evil,” Mrs. Worthy told the kids. “And you learned that, just when things look darkest, you need to make a plan.”
Milton thought about all that. Based on what had happened at the zoo, he had to admit that his mother was right about everything. Morgan nodded her agreement as well.
“Mom, I just thought of one more thing that we learned. And it’s something I’ll never, ever forget.”
“What’s that, dear?” Mrs. Worthy asked her son.
“We learned that Fritz the bus driver wears polka-dotted underwear!”
&nb
sp; Mrs. Worthy laughed. It was the kind of laugh that a superhero substitute teacher parent doesn’t usually laugh in front of her son.
Only two more chapters to go! Great job!
After they returned to school, everything was back to normal in Milton’s classroom at Beacher Elementary.
Mrs. Worthy had gotten off the bus first. And, with Fritz’s help, she had brought the real Noah back where he belonged. She put him back where Electro-Replace-a-Ferret Model 602 had been. Then she invited the kids back into their classroom.
Mrs. Worthy knew that the students had been through a lot. But she also knew that they couldn’t just sit there and do nothing for the final hour of the day. So, being a good substitute teacher . . .
. . . she told them each to write a one-hundred-word composition titled, “My Exciting Day at the Zoo.”
Many kids groaned. Some slumped in their chairs. And others asked questions . . .
Mrs. Worthy smiled at all the questions, but she repeated firmly that she wanted them to write. And write they did . . .
Name: David Tessler
I went to the zoo. It was boring. Very boring. Except when the animals ran wild and took over the zoo. That was kind of cool.
Name: Sarah Rosario
My class went to the zoo. It was cloudy. The zookeeper’s name is Alice, and she talks a lot. Mostly about animals. She has worked at the zoo for seven years. Or maybe since she was seven. I wasn’t really listening.
Name: Nancy Gillespie
Have you ever been to the zoo? I have. It’s called a zoo because they have zoo animals there.
Name: Max Goen
My composition is called “My Exciting Day at the Zoo” because my substitute teacher, Mrs. Worthy, said we have to write a composition called “My Exciting Day at the Zoo.” My day at the zoo actually wasn’t very exciting. If I had my choice, I would just call it “My Day at the Zoo”—and totally leave out the word “exciting.” I would also spend more time looking at the penguins, and I wouldn’t have nachos for lunch. Then I could probably write a truthful composition. With the word “exciting,” not so much. There—I wrote 100 words. I’m done.
Name: Milton Worthy
Lots of kids think that they’re their mothers are superheroes. But mine actaully actually is a superhero. No, really. She’s a real-life, save-the-world superhero. I could tell you more, much more, but I couldn’t do it in just 100 words. It would take 1,000. Or maybe even 1,000,000. That’s how super she is.
Mrs. Worthy enjoyed reading each and every one of the compositions. And she especially liked Milton’s. She didn’t even mind that he only wrote fifty-one words. And though she gave him a D for his misspellings, he got an A+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + in her heart for being a truly terrific son.
It’s midnight. Everyone has gone home, and in Room 311B, Mrs. Baltman’s desk is waiting for her healthy return in the morning.
Everything is calm, peaceful, and silent at Beacher Elementary School.
Well, almost everything.
See, there’s a single figure stirring inside of 311B. More specifically, a figure inside a cage inside 311B.
As you’ve probably guessed . . .
. . . it’s Noah.
He is furious that he was outfoxed (or really, outferreted) on the zoo trip. But he’s still seeking world domination, so he’s busily cooking up a new plan that he thinks is absolutely brilliant.
This time, he’s sure it will work.
But please do not be concerned. Mrs. Worthy and Milton made sure Noah was securely behind bars before they went home. So no matter how creative a plan Noah is planning to hatch . . .
. . . no matter how many he times he yells,“Chitter-chitter-blotz-glud” . . .
. . . there’s absolutely, 100 percent no way he can escape from his ca . . .
Hey you, ferret! Get back here! Get back here right now!
Uh-oh.
Congratulations!
You’ve read 11 chapters,
87 pages,
and 5,081 words!
All your help paid off!
Super Awesome Games
Think
The class is going on a field trip to the zoo. If you could take a field trip anywhere, where would you go? Write a letter saying why you think this would be a great trip for your class!
Feel
Milton was surprised to find out that Noah had driven the bus to the zoo. Can you think of a time when you did something no one thought you could do? Draw a picture of that moment.
Act
In this story, Mrs. Worthy stops Noah by feeding him num-nums. What’s your favorite food? Can you create a menu for a restaurant that serves all the things you love to eat?
About the Author and Illustrator
Photo © Andrew Katz
ALAN KATZ has written more than forty books, including Take Me Out of the Bathtub and Other Silly Dilly Songs, The Day the Mustache Took Over, OOPS!, and Really Stupid Stories for Really Smart Kids. He has received many awards for his writing, and he loves visiting schools across the country.
Photo courtesy of Alex Lopez
ALEX LOPEZ was born in Sabadell, a city in Spain near Barcelona. Alex has always loved to draw. His work has been featured in many books in many countries, but nowadays, he focuses mostly on illustrating books for young readers and teens.
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Copyright
S.O.S.: SOCIETY OF SUBSTITUTES #2: THE ZOO SWITCHEROO. Copyright © 2021 by HarperCollins Publishers. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
www.harperchapters.com
Cover art © 2021 by HarperCollins Publishers
Cover art by Alex Lopez
Logo design by Andy Smith
Cover design by Corina Lupp
Library of Congress Control Number: 2020937707
Digital Edition JANUARY 2021 ISBN: 978-0-06-290936-7
Print ISBN: 978-0-06-290935-0
978-0-06-290934-3 — ISBN 978-0-06-290935-0 (pbk.)
2021222324PC/LSCC10987654321
FIRST EDITION
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